Roman shot her a questioning look, but she only had one word to explain the action. “Healing.”
He nodded as if he understood what she meant.
In the few hours since her appointment with Annie, she’d managed to complete both her tasks, now she just hoped she came out of this second one unscathed.
18
Roman
Hadley was already at Emma’s by the time they arrived, but Cassie froze in the doorway, watching the busy diner with wide eyes. A waitress rushed by carrying a tray of food and almost ran into her.
Roman hated the fear on her face. He wished he could take it away but knew she was the one who had to overcome it. He slid his palm against hers and intertwined their fingers.
Leaning in, he dropped his voice. “I’ve got you, Cass.”
A shaky breath hissed past her teeth. “Don’t leave me.”
“I promise.” Tugging on her hand, he pulled her further into the diner. He’d never pretend to understand how she felt, but he just wanted to help her through it.
Hadley waved to them from a curved booth in the back, looking like she was directing air traffic.
“Why does she look so excited to see us?” Cassie asked.
“Excited is just a state of being for her.” Roman waved back at Hadley.
Cassie looked up at him. “Are you two…”
“What? No. No. No. We’re friends.”
“Like you and me?” Her voice was small.
No, Cass. Not like you and me. But he couldn’t say that, so he only nodded. There was no one in this world like Cassie and nothing like the friendship they’d once had. It was coming back, and just the thought made him smile.
When they rounded the corner of the booth, he caught sight of Jesse and Charlotte sitting across from Hadley. His steps faltered as he remembered everything Jesse said to him only hours ago. And now he showed up holding Cassie’s hand.
But he’d be damned if he was going to let her go.
Jesse jumped from the booth, his eyes flicking from Roman to Cassie. “Cass… you’re here?”
“Please don’t make a thing of this.” A pink blush flooded her cheeks.
Charlotte reached out and pulled Jesse back into the booth. “Of course, we won’t.” She sent her boyfriend a pointed look. “Have a seat.”
Hadley’s gaze settled on their linked hands, and a sly smile spread across her lips. Cassie slid into the booth next to her, releasing Roman’s hand—much to Roman’s disappointment. He missed the warmth of her palm immediately.
She slouched down into the booth, her eyes on the surrounding commotion. A Beckett Anderson song played overhead, giving the diner a country atmosphere.
Gulf City was beach town year-round. Even when the Gulf of Mexico was frigid, the town’s surfers flocked to its waves—what little there were of them. It wasn’t exactly the best surfing destination, but that didn’t stop the ocean-loving, adrenaline junkies.
Cassie pulled the hood of her sweatshirt up over her head and fixed her gaze on the table.
“Roman, you were great in the game tonight.” Charlotte smiled. Roman couldn’t believe they’d ever thought she was a cold ice princess. Since getting to know her, she’d been nothing but a nice hockey superstar. At least in his book.
“Was there ever any doubt?” Roman slid his arm over the back of the booth, grazing Cassie’s neck.
“Uh, yeah, dude.” Hadley shoved his hand away from where he poked her on the shoulder. “There was a lot of doubt.”
Roman shot her a smirk before looking to Charlotte again. “Guess this just means we don’t need you so much, Charlie girl.”
“Is that so?” She leaned forward with her elbows on the table. “One on one. Any time.”
Roman only grinned. He’d never agree to that, knowing Charlotte would wipe the floor with him. No matter what he said, she was better than any of them. He’d never been super competitive—heck, he spent most of his high school career playing on a losing hockey team, but he enjoyed winning since Charlotte joined the team.
The diner’s owner interrupted their standoff. “Callie.” Roman pasted on his most charming smile. “When you get into management, you’re not supposed to have to mingle with us plebes.”
Callie put her hands on her hips. “Ownership, not management. And being the boss means knowing when it’s time to help out.” She pulled a notepad out of her apron. “I already have some of your orders, but Roman… Cassie?”
Cassie didn’t even look at her, so Jesse jumped in. “Cass will have the bacon burger. It’s what she always has me bring her at home.”
Roman studied Cassie for a moment. “Is that what you want?” He leaned down. “You can order for yourself. Come on, Cass. Don’t let someone else be your voice.”
Cassie lifted her chin. “Can I get the bacon burger and fries… please?”
A smile spread across Roman’s face. “That’s my girl.” He looked to Callie. “Can I just have some cottage cheese? I’m watching my figure.” Callie lifted an eyebrow but went on her way.
“You okay, Rome?” Cassie whispered.
He nodded, not wanting to admit he’d been feeling queasy since the game. The thought of eating a greasy burger made him nauseous, which was sad because he loved Emma’s burgers.
“Rome, can I talk to you for a moment?” Jesse slid from the booth.
“No.” He looked to Cassie, knowing he’d promised not to leave her.
“It’ll only take a second.”
Charlotte reached across the table and gripped Cassie’s hand. “We’ve got her.”
“I’ll be fine.” He didn’t know what it took from her to say those words, but he stood and followed Jesse to where an old refurbished jukebox stood.
“Jess…” Roman leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t need the big brother talk again. I heard what you said before.”
“You got her here.” He ran a hand through his hair. “How?”
Roman shrugged. “I invited her.”
Jesse blew out a long breath. “I’ve been trying for years to get her back out into the world. Yet, you move in and she’s finally trying.”
“I think that’s more of a coincidence than anything.”
“No, it’s not. It’s like overcoming whatever prevented her from speaking to you opened up this well of possibilities. We can get her back, can’t we?”
“Jess, she never left.”
“I know that, but seeing her shut herself up in that house for two years hurt. It hurt that she wouldn’t talk to me about anything real, only superficial, that she pulled away as much as my dad, just in a different way.”
He pictured Mr. Carrigan piling furniture into his car. “Your dad got rid of the porch furniture tonight.”
Jesse closed his eyes for a long moment. “I only found out why some couches and tables were so important this week. Neither of them let me in on their pain.” He glanced back at the table. “I don’t care how you feel about her. Forget everything I said. Maybe… maybe she needs you.” He looked back to Roman. “Does she know how you feel?”
He shook his head.
Jesse put a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “I might be getting my family back for the first time since Mom died.” He released him. “Rome?”
“Yeah?”
“You know they’re your family too, right?” The words slammed into Roman. His family. “You’re one of us.”
It didn’t matter if his parents abandoned him for large parts of his life or if their company was more important than their son. He hadn’t been born a Carrigan, but they’d chosen him. Jesse, Will, Eli, Cassie, Mr. Carrigan—even Mrs. Carrigan treated him like a son before she died.
“Thanks for saying that, man.”
Jesse patted him on the shoulder. “Enough with the mushy stuff?”
Roman cleared his throat. “Yep.”
“I just wanted to make sure we’re good.”
“Always.”
They made their wa
y back to the table where three other guys from the team stood talking to Charlotte.
Roman zeroed in on Cassie, noting the panic on her face.
“Missed you out there,” Damien said.
Charlotte grinned. “Yeah, but you did great on the first line.”
Roman shouldered his way past them and slid in beside Cassie. Their food sat in front of them, but Cassie hadn’t taken a bite.
The smell of the bacon burger turned Roman’s stomach, and he swallowed back a bout of nausea.
The guys and Charlotte kept talking hockey and Roman felt a pressure on his thigh. Looking down, he saw Cassie digging her fingers into his leg and refusing to look anyone in the eye.
Damien leaned down to get a better look at her. “Do I know you? You look familiar.”
“This is Jesse’s sister, Cassie,” Charlotte said.
Roman could have scalded both Damien and Charlotte for drawing attention to Cassie. She tensed at the sound of her name.
He brought his lips to her ear. “Cass, I’m not feeling so well.”
Her face lit up. “Would you like to leave?” The hope in her voice gutted him.
He would have wanted to leave regardless as his head started to pound. “Let’s go.” When he stood, a wave of dizziness hit him, and he gripped the back of the booth.
“You okay, Rome?” Damien eyed him.
“Yup. Cass and I are going to head out.” He gave Jesse a knowing look.
“I’ll take care of her burger.” Jesse watched them, concern in his eyes, but he didn’t get up.
Roman held out a hand to Cassie who took it. He released the booth and wobbled before managing to walk toward the door.
Once outside, the noise faded, and all he could hear was the pounding in his head. The dark parking lot turned blurry. He stumbled, but Cassie caught him around the waist.
“What’s wrong?” She used her strength to keep him walking.
“I feel like crap.” He rubbed his eyes to try to clear his vision. It didn’t work. “I don’t think I can drive.”
“What? But how are we supposed to get home? Should I go get Jesse?”
He shook his head. “You…” He sucked in a breath. “Drive.”
Her steps froze. “I can’t drive.” She hadn’t gotten behind the wheel in over a month since being stranded with a flat tire.
He fumbled his keys out of his pocket, dropping them on the ground. Cassie reached to pick them up.
“You can do this.” They reached his car, and he gripped the hood to try to stop the world from spinning. “I know you can.”
“I can try.” She unlocked the car and helped him into the passenger’s seat before crossing around to the driver’s side.
That’s my girl, he thought. She can do anything.
19
Cassie
As Cassie slid behind the wheel, flashes of that night in the rain came back to her. She’d waited for what seemed like hours in a deserted beach parking lot for Jesse to find a way to get to her—she’d had his car at the time.
Her pulse pounded in her skull as she turned the key in the ignition, her hand freezing without releasing it.
Roman rested his head back against the seat and turned it to look at her. “You’ve got this.”
He was right. She did. “You better not be faking, Roman Sullivan,” she grumbled as her fingers wrapped around the wheel and her foot eased off the break to back out.
All the fear she’d had of freezing up while driving, of causing an accident, no longer mattered as she pulled them out onto the road. The driving part was easy. She smiled to herself as she relaxed into the seat.
Normal, everyday tasks became impossible missions when anxiety coated their every action. But the few times she managed to push through it, it was like breaching the water after being held under for too long.
For just a short time, she was free.
By the time they reached home, Roman barely held his head up. She turned the car off and shifted in her seat.
His eyes opened. “I need your help, Cass.”
Those simple words caused something to bloom within her. She was the girl always needing the people in her life to be there for her. She’d forgotten what it was like to be needed in return.
She got out of the car and went to open Roman’s door. Helping him out, she pulled his arm over her shoulders, and together, they stumbled toward the front door. Her dad still hadn’t returned, so he must have the twins with him.
Cassie unlocked the front door. “We need to get you in bed. Do you need a doctor?”
He mumbled something unintelligible and shook his head.
It took some doing, but she managed to get him up the stairs into his room. He fell onto his bed face down.
Cassie went to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. When she returned to Roman, he’d rolled onto his side.
She set the water on the table beside the bed.
“The room is spinning.” Roman’s weak voice was so unlike the booming sound she’d grown used to.
Sitting on the edge of his bed, she touched his forehead. “You’re burning up.”
He shook his head. “Just need sleep.”
“At least take some ibuprofen.”
He shook his head again.
With a sigh, she pulled off his shoes and started adjusting the blanket around him. “You need to get some rest.”
He reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Don’t leave me.”
One corner of her mouth curved up as she stared down at him. “Typical man. Get a little bug and it’s like you’re dying.”
“I feel like I am.”
“You’re not.” She sat again. “When did you start feeling sick?”
“I’ve been tired all day, but I figured it was just the Valentine’s Day annoyance.”
“You should love this holiday. I’ll bet you get lots of gifts.”
He shook his head and buried his face in his pillow. It muffled his words. “You like chocolate?”
“Umm… trick question? Of course, I do.”
“I mean… my chocolate. The caramels. No text. Thought it was too much.”
Cassie jumped from the bed, her blood rushing in her ears. That was from Roman? Why? “How did you know?” He couldn’t have known her mom’s tradition. She wasn’t even sure Jesse did.
“I watch you.”
“That’s not creepy at all.”
He lifted his head to look at her, his eye unfocused. “Come here.”
“Why?”
“I need something to stop the room spinning.” He reached for her wrist again and pulled her toward him. “Let me hold on to you.”
“That’s not how dizziness works.” But she didn’t have the heart to tell him no, not when she wanted to be the person that made his world stop spinning. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down in front of him, curling his entire body around her.
She couldn’t breathe when every part of her body touched his. They’d always had a physical relationship but not in an intimate way. This felt… different. But he was sick and delirious. He’d have let Jesse lay here if he was home.
Roman’s hands wound through the pocket of Cassie’s sweatshirt, keeping her in place.
“See.” He breathed against her neck. “Feeling better already.”
A shiver raced down her spine. “Rome…”
“Don’t think so much, Cass. Not now.”
That wasn’t an easy ask from her, but more than anything, she wanted to turn her mind off and just enjoy the way he held her as if he didn’t want to let go, the way his lips skimmed her ear when he spoke.
Even if none of it was real.
“Thank you for the chocolates.” That part was very real, but she didn’t know what any of it meant.
“I’d give you anything to get one of those smiles.” His voice grew softer as he spoke before his breathing evened out.
Cassie glanced over her shoulder to find his eyes closed in sleep. He pulled h
er tighter against him, his leg slipping between hers.
Reaching up, she flipped off the light beside the bed and laid in the dark, pretending this didn’t have to end.
Cassie woke in the middle of the night to find Roman watching her. Her cheeks heated as she turned to face him, all too aware of their intertwined legs.
“Hey,” he whispered.
She propped her head up on one arm. “You shouldn’t stare at people when they sleep. It’s weird.”
He flashed her a grin.
“How are you feeling?” She pressed a palm to his forehead, noting how it was still a bit warm.
“Like I was run over by a truck. But the room isn’t spinning any longer. Thanks for getting me back here.”
“It was a huge imposition.” She smirked. “The biggest.”
“Yeah?” His fingers dug into her sides, eliciting a yelp from her. He put a hand over her mouth. “Wouldn’t want your dad or brother to find you in here.”
She pushed his hand away. “I should probably go to my own room.”
“Don’t.”
“What?”
His eyes met hers. “I like having you here.”
With those words, her heart stopped beating, blood stopped flowing to her limbs, and her entire body stilled. “Why?”
“Does there have to be a reason? Cass, two years ago you were my best friend in the entire world.”
“Even more so than Jesse?” She poked his stomach.
“Just don’t tell him. I’m serious, though. Every day I wake up terrified you’re going to cut me off again. I don’t think I can go through another two years like that.”
A sigh worked out of her. Honesty, Cass. Honesty. “Rome… I didn’t cut you off.”
“But—”
She put a finger to his lips. “I cut myself off. You say you wake up every day terrified of losing me again, but I have opened my eyes every morning since that day thinking parts of me were slipping away.”
“But you’re right here. All of you. I see it.”
“I know. It’s taken me a long time to see it too. I didn’t lose myself, I only covered everything in the thick black sludge of anxiety. But I feel like I’m on the other side now. Like there’s finally some light at the end of the tunnel—and a bunch more clichés. I’m a walking meme.” She laughed.
Roman and the Hopeless Romantic (Gulf City High Book 2) Page 12