Mr. Carrigan looked behind him to where Jesse stood listening to the conversation. The two shared a silent conversation before Mr. Carrigan clapped Roman on the shoulder. “We’re going to miss you living here, kid. But you’re still part of this family no matter the address you call home.”
He’d heard those words from Jesse before but never expected them to come from his dad. Not when Roman’s own parents so obviously didn’t care about the family.
It went to show that no matter what crap a person is born into, they can still find people to call their own. Like his team. The Carrigans.
They all made it hurt less.
“Roman Sullivan!” An angry female voice invading their locker room had Roman’s head snapping up.
Cassie stormed toward him, ignoring the room full of half-dressed boys. For just a moment, pride raced through him at the knowledge she’d come into public. He shot to his feet. “Cass, you’re here.” His eyes widened as he took in the room around him that had grown very silent. A few of the guys had met Cassie before, but most didn’t know who she was.
“Cass.” Jesse rushed in after her. “You can’t come in here.” He looked to a slack-jawed coach. “Sorry, she jumped out when I was parking the car.”
As if she hadn’t heard her brother, Cassie advanced on Roman. He backed up until his legs hit the bench. “You did it! You’re out in public.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re a little late to the party, Rome. I walked through Target today.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“I don’t want you to be proud of me.”
His lips turned down. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? You left, Roman.” Her posture loosened, and she took a step back. “I got home, and your room was just empty. I thought you’d gone to your parents.”
He was an idiot. Everyone told him not to wait too long—Jesse, the Gibsons. And he’d done it, anyway. “I’d never leave you.” He thought he whispered it, but by the sounds of chuckles coming from the guys, it wasn’t quiet enough. “We need to talk but not here.”
She nodded and followed him into the hall. Charlotte passed them with a wink as she ducked into the boys’ locker room to join the team for the pre-game speeches.
Roman ran a hand through his hair as he looked down at Cassie. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Then you shouldn’t have. Do you have any idea how that felt? No goodbye. No explanation.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” She leaned back against the cinderblock wall and looked him in the eye. “I walked into this building knowing how awful it would feel. Dizziness, headaches… fear. But I did it, Rome. And I’m not going to stop. I won’t put my life on hold any longer.”
“That’s great.”
“After I managed to walk through Target, do you know who I wanted to talk to?”
He shook his head.
“You. Not Annie, not Jesse. Roman Sullivan, the bane of my existence.”
“Why me, Cass?” It never made sense to him why she trusted him the way she did. No one ever put their faith in him before. They went to him for a good time, not a shoulder to lean on.
“Because you believe in me.”
He stepped closer to her. “A lot of people believe in you.”
“You push me. With you, I don’t want to stand still any longer. You once asked me why I didn’t talk to you for two years, why my trauma pulled me away. I gave you an answer, but I don’t think it was the truth.”
“What’s the truth, Cass?” He took another step.
She lifted her chin, gazing up at him as she dropped her voice. “You terrify me.”
They stared at each other, neither moving, neither speaking.
When the locker room door burst open, they broke apart as the team poured out.
“Sullivan,” Coach called. “Get your skates. Your feet better be on that ice in thirty seconds.”
Roman looked to his team heading to play the game they loved and then back to the girl admitting her fear of him. He wanted to ask her why, to beg for an explanation, but she stepped around him.
“Go, Roman. Have a good game.”
He whirled to watch her go. “Are you staying?”
She didn’t respond.
Roman cursed and slapped his palm against the wall before doing what he was supposed to. He laced up his skates and headed for the ice, hoping the game could clear his mind and tell him what he needed to do.
“Because you believe in me.” He did.
“You terrify me.” Which was it?
Roman passed to Jesse as they skated in on their own goalie during warm-ups prior to puck drop. Gulf City residents already crowded into the arena, packing every seat like they always did.
But Roman barely saw any of their faces as he searched for the one he needed to be there.
She hadn’t been to a game in over two years, but tonight she’d shown up at the rink. That said something.
Stopping at center ice, Roman started his stretches.
Jesse dropped down beside him. “You were supposed to tell Cassie before you left.”
“I know.” He’d planned on it but hadn’t found the words. “I’m a coward.”
“She’s here for you, you know. She walked into the rink on her own and then into a locker room full of guys.” He looked out of the corner of his eye. “Rome… thank you. Whatever you’ve done for her… thanks.”
“It was all her, man.”
“But somehow, you made her believe she could do it.”
“Is she still here?”
Jesse shrugged and stood as the team skated from the ice.
By the time they returned a few minutes later, the crowd was ready for the game to start.
“Carrigan, Sullivan, Morrison,” Coach called. “You three are starting. Get out there and make Gulf City proud.”
Roman jumped over the boards with his line-mates as a familiar face caught his attention near the tunnel. Hadley jumped up and down, her mouth open in a cheer.
And next to her?
“Roman,” Jesse called. “They’re going to call us for delay of game if you don’t line up.” Roman glanced to where his team faced the opposing players at center ice.
Hockey once was everything to him, the game he could disappear into to forget the disappointments in his life.
But this time, he didn’t want to forget. This time, it wasn’t about a disappointment.
Hockey didn’t have to be everything because there was something more important.
His legs were moving before he knew what he was doing. Teammates called after him, but he didn’t hear Jesse’s voice again—because his friend knew.
This was something Roman should have done a long time ago. He reached the boards and forced open the door to the tunnel.
Random strangers called greetings to him, but he paid them no attention. Not when the girl he’d dreamed about stood so close.
Gripping the metal bars, he hoisted himself up until he came face to face with the girl herself.
“What are you doing?” Cassie hissed, her eyes going to the scoreboard that showed the two of them.
The game began, and Roman glanced over his shoulder to see Damien in his spot. When he faced Cassie once more, a grin split his lips.
Red tinged her cheeks, and she clasped shaking hands in front of her. He’d forgotten how difficult it would be for her to sit in the crowd watching the game.
“Roman, stop grinning like an idiot and answer me.”
He pulled himself up further, so he was eye to eye with her. “You asked me to kiss you.”
“What?”
“That night you asked me to kiss you, I should have known.”
“Known what?”
“You came to the arena just to yell at me for moving.”
“Spit it out, Roman.”
“You’re in love with me.” His grin widened as he realized it was true. All this time, he worried what she’d say if he
admitted his feelings.
Her blush deepened as she shook her head. “I’m not.”
“She so is,” Hadley piped in.
Cassie sent her a scowl. “Traitor.” She crossed her arms. “So what if I am? What if I’m fighting back anxiety just to be here for you? It doesn’t mean you have to say it back, Rome. It didn’t mean you had to leave.”
“Cass?”
“What?”
“Stop talking.”
Her frown deepened, and Roman couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “You can’t complain that I didn’t speak to you for two years and then want me to stop just because it’s something you don’t want to hear.”
The goal horn sounded, and the crowd jumped to their feet, but Roman and Cassie remained locked in their stand-off. “I’m going to kiss you.”
“What?” she yelled over the noise.
“This kiss isn’t about you following therapy orders or wanting to get your first. When I kiss you, Cassandra Carrigan, I’m not going to stop. When I kiss you, it means I love you too, every part of you. Your brain, your anxiety, the way you don’t want to need me, your wild morning-hair, your dead-eyed stare, every stubborn bone in your body. It means I love that you make me work for it, that nothing between us is easy or simple. It means—”
“Roman, you talk too much.” She pressed her lips to his, shocking him into action.
“I had so much more to say,” he whispered against her lips.
“Show, don’t tell.”
“I can do that.” He took charge of the kiss, wanting everything she was willing to give. Cassie could give him the world if she so chose.
But it wouldn’t be easy.
Nothing with her ever was.
He took one hand off the metal bar and leaned over it to deepen the kiss. Hoots and hollers sounded around them—mostly coming from Hadley.
The last hand holding Roman up slipped, and he almost fell back down to the tunnel before catching himself.
Cassie laughed. “Don’t die, Roman. I might be a little sad.”
“Only a little?”
She grinned and leaned away from him. “You have a game to play. Go!”
Flashing her a wink, he hopped back down to the ground. A whistle sounded, stopping play as the goalie covered the puck. Roman stepped back onto the ice to skate across to the bench and the crowd cheered. He gave them a little wave.
“Roman,” Coach yelled. “Your butt is now glued to this bench.”
As Roman took a seat next to Jesse, he didn’t care about the punishment or loss of playing time. His eyes found Cassie in the stands.
It was worth it.
25
Cassie
Cassie sat in the stands after the game ended, unable to move as the crowd swarmed around her, walking up the aisles in excitement after a heck of a game. For a moment, she’d forgotten them as Roman said everything she’d wanted to hear, but all the anxiety came roaring back as soon as he was gone.
She couldn’t believe she was there. A month ago, she’d never imagined she would once again sit and watch her brother take control of a game. Jesse, along with his line-mates Charlotte and Damien, won the night.
Roman, on the other hand, hadn’t seen a second of ice time.
She’d watched him on the bench, looking for any sign of regret. Instead, excitement lit his eyes as he cheered on his teammates.
There was no more time to second guess, no more time to question.
Hadley propped her feet up on the chair in front of her. “That boy has it bad.”
Cassie covered her grin with a cough. “I wish he could’ve played.”
“Something tells me he’d do it all over again—just like it happened. That boy likes the d-r-a-m-a.”
“Did he really—”
“Climb what almost amounts to a balcony and profess his undying love? Yes, Juliet. He did.”
Cassie gripped the metal to her left. “This isn’t a balcony.”
“Same difference. Just face it, Cass, you basically lived one of your romance novels tonight.” She winked. “Well, maybe not one of your novels. He’d have needed fewer clothes for that.”
Cassie’s cheeks heated. She hadn’t thought of Cade or disappearing into her e-reader for a couple days now. It was like Roman pulled her out of the fake world and made her want to live in the real one.
“I don’t think I can leave with the crowd.” She may be recovering and overcoming her struggles, but she still had a long road ahead of her.
“That’s cool.” Hadley nudged her. “We can take as long as you need.”
Cassie sent her friend a grateful smile as she pulled out her buzzing phone. A text from her dad lit the screen.
Dad: Are you up for ice cream?
Was she? She knew what he meant. He wanted to take the family to Emma’s. A part of her wanted to return home and curl up in bed after such a big day of peopling.
But she couldn’t remember the last time her family did something as simple as get ice cream together.
Cassie: Yeah. Meet you there.
She’d ridden with Jesse and didn’t want to wait for him to shower. The arena suddenly felt way too small and crowded. Her skin heated as she swallowed thickly.
“Cass.” Hadley lowered her feet and turned to look at her. “You don’t have to be better all at once.”
“I know.” She did know, but she hadn’t always. “What do you say to ice cream?”
A smile spread across Hadley’s face. “I never say no to ice cream. Come on, I can get us out of here through the back.” She climbed over the metal bars and then down them like it was a playground.
By the time she jumped to the ground, Cassie only stared at her.
“Come on, Cass. It’s either this or leave through the front with everyone else.”
Sucking in a breath, Cassie climbed the bars, saying a small prayer as she released them and jumped down. The impact reverberated up her leg.
Hadley grabbed her hand and took off running down the hall near the locker rooms. They exited the building through a side door and sprinted across the parking lot.
By the time they found Hadley’s car and arrived at Emma’s, Cassie couldn’t believe this was how the wildest day of her life ended.
With a family ice cream session at a diner her mom used to love. When she stepped through the door, her legs tried to stiffen, but she shoved down the nerves into the deepest, darkest part of her and strode confidently to where her dad and younger brothers sat in the back.
Will grinned when he saw her. “We chose a booth where you wouldn’t have to be around people.”
She brushed a hand over his head, realizing just how great her family was. This illness of hers sometimes prevented her from seeing what was right in front of her.
They were finished with their ice cream by the time Jesse arrived with Charlotte.
Cassie once thought her family would never be whole again, that her mom’s absence was this void in the middle of their bond.
She looked to her brothers. Maybe her mom had never been absent at all.
When the last member of their family stepped through the front door, he looked so unsure of himself, like he didn’t know where he belonged.
“I’ll be right back.” Cassie slid from the booth and approached Roman.
When he noticed her, his face softened, and she didn’t know how she hadn’t seen it before. “Hey, Cass.”
She didn’t stop until only a foot separated them. “You love me.”
“I do.”
“It wasn’t some weird brain meltdown?”
He grinned. “No. My brain is fully intact.”
“Then I need to introduce you to my dad.”
His smile froze like he hadn’t been expecting that. Neither had she. “I already know your dad.”
“Don’t be difficult.” She threaded her fingers through his.
“I will never stop being difficult because where’s the fun in that?”
She tugged him
toward the table, nerves curling in her gut. Clearing her throat, she got the attention of the entire table. “Dad, I’d like you to meet Roman Sullivan.”
Her dad crossed his arms, a bemused smile on his face. “And who exactly is this Roman Sullivan?”
“My boyfriend. If you don’t like that, too bad. Because I plan on falling even deeper in love with him than I already am. He does not live in the room next to mine, so you can’t send him to his parents.” She paused. “Oh, and I lied to you about my feelings. I’m sorry.”
Her dad tried and failed not to laugh. “Well, Roman, take a seat. Welcome to the family.”
“Dad.” Jesse looked from their dad to Cassie. “He was already part of the family.”
“Shh.” Charlotte nudged him with a grin. “I’m enjoying the show.”
The entire table burst out laughing as Roman slid into the booth next to Cassie. He wrapped an arm around her and leaned in. “Deeper in love?”
The waitress appeared with another round of sundaes.
“Hush, Romeo. Eat your ice cream.”
“Romeo, huh?”
“You climbed a balcony for me.”
He laughed. “That wasn’t a balcony, but okay.” He pecked her on the cheek.
“My eyes.” Jesse covered his eyes. “They burn.”
“My eyes,” Will repeated.
“You’re scarring the children.” Jesse peeked through his fingers. “Are you done kissing now?”
Roman threw a maraschino cherry at him and laughed. “Might want to just bleach them now, dude.” He leaned over and captured Cassie’s lips.
He tasted of chocolate fudge and hope.
Because that was what Roman had always represented for her.
If there was one thing she knew, it was that Cade, the loyal book boyfriend, didn’t compare to the very real boy sitting beside her.
26
Roman
Four months later
Roman never imagined he’d get to date his best friend.
He didn’t think he’d end high school in love with the girl he wanted for the rest of his life. Okay, he was eighteen, so the rest of his life was far off.
Roman and the Hopeless Romantic (Gulf City High Book 2) Page 16