Sarah still confused "But he has one. So, he's a guy, right?"
Larry snorted "Honey, that thing is so small, he has to sit to pee."
Tina giggled and nodded.
Alice continued "Haven't you noticed that he really LIKES hanging around with you girls?"
Shannon smiled "We always say he's one of the...girls?"
Alice grinned "And you should see her in a skirt!"
Tina giggled and smiled "Hi girls!"
Sarah stopped "How can a guy be a girl?"
Alice nodded "Actually it's been going on for thousands of years. The Hijra of India were boys who volunteered to be castrated, usually before puberty, so they could live as women. There are similar types of people who made themselves eunuchs, often going to a shepherd to be castrated. The Oracles of Delphi and Mediterranean Europe may have been feminized eunuchs. The wise women of Northern Europe, sometimes called Witches or Wizards. In the Western Hemisphere, they were called "Two Spirit" people, and lived as women but were honored as Shaman, medicine men.
Tina looked at Alice "How did you know all this?"
Alice was caught "When I heard the kids making fun of you, referring to you as a girl, and then you and them referring to you as a lesbian, I got curious. When Daisy told me about you, I did some more digging. I found out a lot of things, including why your parents had to keep it a secret and why your therapists wouldn't talk to you. They did horrible things to girls like you. Things we wouldn't we wouldn't be allowed to do to convicted serial killers, they were doing to girls like you on a daily basis"
Sarah began to see "Why didn't you tell us?"
Alice turned to the boys "Boys, what happened when the boys discovered you were sissy or queer?"
Eddie spoke "It was terrible, I got hard in the boys’ shower in 7th grade. They beat the shit out of me for months, sometimes a dozen at a time, until I got a big jock boyfriend"
Tina nodded.
Alice nodded "Tina, when did the boys first start beating you up?"
Tina looked sad. "First grade"
"How often?"
Tina winced "Three to five times a day."
"How many boys"
"A dozen or so"
"And 60 times in the hospital?"
Tina nodded. She started to cry "I'm sorry guys, I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared"
Sarah nodded "I can see why. Even though it happened a long time ago, it's still very real"
Alice patted Tina on the back "You did tell them, dozens of times, you just made a joke out of it."
Eddie clicked "That's RIGHT! You did tell us all these things, but always doing the Nelly queer bit so we just thought you were joking. I just realized, you haven't joked once since we started talking."
Alice nodded "That's because it was an act, a mask, like Pagliacci, the clown who had the painted on smiley face even though his heart was breaking."
Tina nodded "Only it was a mask was made of iron and had spikes inside. This is the real me."
Shannon nodded "Damn honey, you're one helluva good actress." There was a moment of laughter.
Tina nodded. "I had to be, my life was at stake"
Alice looked at Tina. "Like an undercover agent."
Tina nodded. "More like a Jew in Nazi Europe"
Alice could see that things were getting too heavy for Tina "Come on honey, I've got something in my room that I want you to see!"
Alice stood, and Tina stood next to her, she stood straight and everyone could see her "breasts"
They hugged each other "I love you Tina", "I love you Alice". And separated.
Suddenly everybody at the table came over to hug both of them.
Sarah hugged them both "There's a dance on Saturday, Tina and Alice, please come!"
Tina did her Teddy voice "I don't know, I don't have a thing to wear!"
They all laughed. Shannon said, "A short skirt, I wanna see them legs!"
Alice grinned "I guess I have to get you a Little Black Dress"
Tina grinned and nodded excitedly whispering. "Yes!"
Larry hugged Tina "So what are you going to do now? Come to school as Tina?"
Tina shook her head "I still need to sing bass; I still have to do guy roles. I would have to give up performing.”
Sarah nodded "But you're a great director. You could do that as either Tina or Ted! You could also conduct and tech.
Tina nodded "I'll have to think about that. I don't think Ted will be around much longer."
A Special Treat
When they got to Alice's room, she pulled out her notebooks and opened them up for Tina.
"This is why nobody would talk to you before"
The page was turned to the pages describing the treatment for "Gender Identity Psychosis". As Alice had said, the treatments were worse than torture. At least with torture, you confess or plead guilty and the pain would stop. The notes and illustrations looked like something from the Inquisition.
Tina ran to the bathroom to be sick.
Alice came in and held Tina's hair
Tina cried as she tried to breathe. "That's what they will do to me if they find out?"
Alice hugged her close. "No honey, they don't do that anymore, but even until you were 12 or 13 they might have done that to you. Worse, they might have given you a lobotomy."
Tina was finished "Mom had been through something like that, no wonder she wanted to keep it a secret, from everyone!"
Alice handed her a new toothbrush and toothpaste "Even up to a few years ago, they would have just locked you up and pumped you full of drugs, to keep you from killing yourself. A chemical lobotomy"
"So that's what I can expect, to be locked up and drugged out of my mind?"
"No honey, my mentor, Nancy, has talked to a doctor who helps people like you transition. She's the person I wanted you to go and see. Would you be interested?"
Tina at Alice's. "Yes! I love you so much!"
Alice pulled away "Brush your teeth first, then we can kiss. I didn't realize you'd be losing dinner."
Tina brushed her teeth and brushed out her hair. Fortunately, she didn't get sick in her hair. She put on a dab of Alice's favorite perfume. The one she had her use on Friday night.
Tina took off the sweater and the jeans, then pulled up the stockings a bit and kicked off her shoes. Then she walked out to give Alice a sweet, romantic kiss.
Alice looked over to see Tina, beautifully framed in the doorway. Her heart skipped a beat. She gasped as Tina slowly came over. The wiggle in her walk. Alice had always wanted a femme girl, a lipstick lesbian, and here she was. A vision of beauty.
Alice spread her legs, and Tina took the queue and placed her knee between them, then she pulled Alice's hair back, and kissed her on the neck. "Who's in charge now?"
Alice whimpered "You mistress".
Tina gave Alice an evil smile. "Take off your clothes, slowly. We've got six hours before bedtime so there's no rush."
For the rest of the day, they explored wonderful new pleasures together, each was surprised at the creativity of the other.
Ted and Nancy
Ted and Alice went up to Nancy's office Monday morning. Alice made the introductions.
“Nancy, this is Ted, the person I was telling you about?”
Nancy nodded “I thought so. I have a free hour now, if you have time?”
Ted nodded “I was going to go work on sets, but this is important. Now is good!”
Nancy smiled “Do you want Alice to stay or go? This could get personal? Alice, do you have time?”
Alice nodded “I’m good either way”
Ted turned to Alice “I would appreciate having you here if you don't mind hearing some of the ugly stuff again?”
Nancy was delighted “Wonderful! Alice this could be a wonderful learning experience for you as well!”
Nancy started by looking at the test results Alice had given her earlier that day. She had run the scores and they indicated that Ted was way over on the female
end of the scale, roughly 95%.
“I'd like to ask you some questions, kind of a way of finding out about your personality. I'm going to ask you about 50 questions, and I want you to answer as quickly as you can. We can go into more detail later. OK?”
Ted nodded “I've had a few psychological tests. I never learn the results though. I guess I'm not too crazy or they would have told me.”
Nancy laughed “OK, this might be a little different”
Nancy spent about 20 minutes asking Ted questions from the 3 different gender personality tests. Even as he answered, she could tell that Alice's observations were correct. Ted was a transsexual, and very female.
“Wow, that went faster than I expected.”
Ted smiled “I think I might have taken one of those tests before.”
Nancy smiled “It's possible. It's a test that measures gender variance among males. According to this, you're very feminine.”
Ted smiled “My dad took a test like that, he was 75% female. I would guess I'm closer to 90%”
Nancy smiled “I'll have to score this later, but I think you might actually score even higher.”
She got more serious. “I have a few other questions that may be uncomfortable, but I have to ask them. Sorry if you've already discussed this with Alice, but I need the information from you.”
Ted smiled “Sorry Alice. You get to hear it all again.”
Nancy's questions were not unexpected.
“How long have you wanted to be a girl?”
“I've always been a girl inside, I played with girls until I was six when they forced me to play with the boys but I hated playing with boys and wanted to be like the other girls so I could go back to being one of the girls.”
“Interesting, why did you hate playing with the boys?”
“I just didn’t fit in, ever. They beat me up for being a sissy? Three times a day, sometimes four or five, and every school day!”
“There were a couple boys who bullied you?”
“No ma'am, all of the boys in the class took part, if they didn't, they got beat up too.”
“They slapped you? Called you names?”
“No, they did call me names, Sissy, Pansy, Fairy, Tinkerbell, Queer, Faggot that kind of thing, but they also punched me with their fists until I fell over, then they would start kicking me until the bell rang. Usually 20-30 minutes.”
Nancy winced “I'm surprised you weren't injured”
Ted smiled “I was hospitalized, around 60 times over 8 years. I'd get admitted for asthma but held to manage organ damage.”
“Did you ever tell anyone you wanted to be a girl?”
“Yes, many times. I used to come home crying. Eventually mom thought she would cure me by making me do housework.”
“How did that go?”
“Great! I loved it! I got so good at it that mom got a full-time job!”
“What, all of it?”
“Washing, ironing, folding, cooking, cleaning, vacuuming. That kind of thing.”
“Any brothers or sisters?”
“Yes, my brother was three years younger. My sister Donna was six years younger. I was the only one who could brush her long hair without hurting her. I also taught her to do make-up and we'd exercise together.”
“What about your brother?”
“He was really cute, but he would try to fight with me. Sometimes, I just had to sit on him. Until he got bigger than me.” Ted giggled.
“Puberty must have been hard for you.”
“Horrible. My dad explained puberty to me when I was ten. I think he was hoping to make me accept that I was a boy. He did have a hard time explaining why I had no balls and such a tiny dick.”
“Wait, they just hadn't descended, right?”
“No ma'am, they were up inside me. Dad said I might need an operation to pull them down. When they did come down, I did everything I could to push them back up, then I tried to destroy them”
“How did you do that?”
“Boiling water, rubber bands, string, I even tried to crush them once.”
“So you became a normal man then?”
Ted giggled “Not exactly, I'm still only this big “Holding his fingers about 2 inches apart.”
“Flaccid, right?”
“No, erect, flaccid it disappears completely. Really awkward in gym class when we had to shower.”
“Did you go through puberty?”
Ted nodded slowly. “Yes, I turned into an ugly hairy roaring beast, but it didn't make me any less feminine”
“How do you mean?”
“Guys from all over the school started coming on to me. I'm not into guys, so I introduced them to each other. I was gay bait.”
“No interest in guys at all?”
“I had a crush on Davey Jones and Keith Partridge, but I also had a crush on Susan Day.”
“Have you ever had sex with boys?”
“A few times, hand jobs and blow jobs. But when they touched me down there, it was a total turn-off. They wanted a man.”
“What about women?”
“I'm a lesbian. I would use my hands and mouth to please them, and we'd even hump, but when they tried to reach into my crotch, it hurt or tickled too much. I am a virgin from the waist down”
“Any other sex?”
“Yes, my friends used to invite me to parties. I'd get a little loaded and match them up. Then I'd get loaded and blacked out. According to them, I would spend most of the night in the coat room giving head to girls and a few guys. I think Tina took over, because I didn't remember any of it until recently.”
“Have you ever had sexual intercourse?”
“No, I'm not sure I could even if I tried. I think it would be disappointing for both of us. I am curious though.”
“So your girl name is Tina?”
“Yes, Daisy gave it to me and I really liked it.”
“Daisy is your girlfriend?”
“More like my girl friend. I'm her lesbian lover, but she has other men who meet her needs for a man.”
Nancy was stunned “Wait, how can you be a lesbian. You're a guy?”
Alice interrupted “He's telling the truth. I'll explain later.”
“Have you been out in public as Tina?”
Yes, this weekend, I was terrified, but it was wonderful!”
Alice nodded “Tina is going to go to a dance on Friday.”
“You've let people know about Tina?”
Ted nodded “Yes, Daisy, Alice, Anna, and a few of my fellow students in the theater program.”
Nancy smiled “This is good, you've taken a few steps on your own. I want you to try and be Tina as often as you can. Evenings & weekends if possible.”
Ted smiled “I’d love to do that, but why are you asking me to do this?”
“I've talked to a doctor who treats people like you. Transsexuals. It seems he has a process to help you safely and successfully be a girl, if that's still what you want.”
Ted was shocked “Yes please! How is that possible?”
Nancy knew she was right now.
“The first step is getting Real Life Experience being a girl. The more the better. After about a year, you would start hormones which would make you grow breasts, and you would live as a woman all the time, a year or two later, when you can afford it, you would get an operation that would turn your penis into a vagina.”
Tina squealed “I want that! I was so afraid you'd want to do those terrible things that Alice told me about. Torture or drugs or lobotomy.”
Nancy nodded “None of that was effective! Those who were treated this way either killed themselves first chance they got. The rest were lobotomized to keep them from killing themselves so they could claim that the treatment was successful. Effectively destroying their minds so they could claim success.”
“So, this other doctor can help me?”
“Yes, Tina, he can help you become the woman you've always wanted to be, to make your outsides match your insides.”
Nancy could see Tina's personality coming out even now.
“I'm so excited. I had given up hope!”
Nancy nodded “I want to see Tina after the dance, possibly Monday night after your classes. I can stay late to meet with you, but I want to see you dressed as a girl.”
Tina giggled “I'll wear something cute!”
Nancy laughed “That would be wonderful.”
Tina shuddered “I admit, I'm terrified too!”
Nancy nodded “Understandable. You've been through hell, but this is probably the safest place in the whole country to do this.”
Tina giggled “Part of why I chose a college that was almost all women. I wouldn't have to deal with dozens of macho jerks.”
Alice chimed in “And you could be one of the girls!”
Nancy nodded “Any problems, do come and see me.”
For the rest of the week, after dinner, Tina got dressed in her girl clothes. Often, they would go to Alice's room.
Sometimes they would just do hot chocolate, talking with the other girls. They found they liked her, even more than Ted or Teddy. Teddy was funny, but it was becoming more and more obvious that Tina was real and Teddy was just a character, a clown, there to hide the pain.
On a couple nights, they made love, making far too much noise. Soon everyone in the girl's dorm realized that Alice and Tina were lovers.
Daisy often came over for visits but wasn't engaging on the rather intense love-making sessions. It seems that she and Mohamed were having far too much fun together and Daisy didn't need the warm-ups.
In his pop singing class, Ted’s voice was getting softer and sweeter. He was singing baritone but was smoothly going into a lyric falsetto. The class loved his softer, lighter, sweeter voice. When they started using microphones, it was even easier to take advantage of the amp and be even more feminine. At the same time, he could belt into a high tenor C if he wanted. “Teddy, that is amazing”, I want you to keep working on songs like that. Here are some soft ballads and I’d like you to try “Killing me Softly”. I’d like to see what you can do with it, maybe in a lower key.
Of course, Tina had become a popular coach as well. The kids from the class, especially the other girls, would go to Anna's room and work on numbers. Anna had a portable electric piano, and could play, others just brought in their taped accompaniment and sang with that.
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