by Cao Xueqin
"These rooms are so small!" dowager lady Chia then observed, smiling. "We had better go elsewhere for a stroll."
"Every one says," old goody Liu put in, "that big people live in big houses! When I saw yesterday your main apartments, dowager lady, with all those large boxes, immense presses, big tables, and spacious beds to match, they did, indeed, present an imposing sight! Those presses are larger than our whole house; yea loftier too! But strange to say there were ladders in the back court. 'They don't also,' I thought, 'go up to the house tops to sun things, so what can they keep those ladders in readiness for?' Well, after that, I remembered that they must be required for opening the presses to take out or put in things. And that without those ladders, how could one ever reach that height? But now that I've also seen these small rooms, more luxuriously got up than the large ones, and full of various articles, all so fascinating and hardly even known to me by name, I feel, the more I feast my eyes on them, the more unable to tear myself away from them."
"There are other things still better than this," lady Feng added. "I'll take you to see them all!"
Saying this, they straightway left the Hsiao Hsiang lodge. From a distance, they spied a whole crowd of people punting the boats in the lake.
"As they've got the boats ready," old lady Chia proposed, "we may as well go and have a row in them!"
As she uttered this suggestion, they wended their steps along the persicary-covered bank of the Purple Lily Isle. But before reaching the lake, they perceived several matrons advancing that way with large multi-coloured boxes in their hands, made all alike of twisted wire and inlaid with gold. Lady Feng hastened to inquire of Madame Wang where breakfast was to be served.
"Ask our venerable senior," Madame Wang replied, "and let them lay it wherever she pleases."
Old lady Chia overheard her answer, and turning her head round: "Miss Tertia," she said, "take the servants, and make them lay breakfast wherever you think best! We'll get into the boats from here."
Upon catching her senior's wishes, lady Feng retraced her footsteps, and accompanied by Li Wan, T'an Ch'un, Yüan Yang and Hu Po, she led off the servants, carrying the eatables, and other domestics, and came by the nearest way, to the Ch'iu Shuang library, where they arranged the tables in the Hsiao Ts'ui hall.
"We daily say that whenever the gentlemen outside have anything to drink or eat, they invariably have some one who can raise a laugh and whom they can chaff for fun's sake," Yuan Yang smiled, "so let's also to-day get a female family-companion."
Li Wan, being a person full of kindly feelings, did not fathom the insinuation, though it did not escape her ear. Lady Feng, however, thoroughly understood that she alluded to old goody Liu. "Let us too to-day," she smilingly remarked, "chaff her for a bit of fun!"
These two then began to mature their plans.
Li Wan chided them with a smile. "You people," she said, "don't know even how to perform the least good act! But you're not small children any more, and are you still up to these pranks? Mind, our venerable ancestor might call you to task!"
"That has nothing whatever to do with you, senior lady," Yüan Yang laughed, "it's my own look out!"
These words were still on her lips, when she saw dowager lady Chia and the rest of the company arrive. They each sat where and how they pleased. First and foremost, a waiting-maid brought two trays of tea. After tea, lady Feng laid hold of a napkin, made of foreign cloth, in which were wrapped a handful of blackwood chopsticks, encircled with three rings, of inlaid silver, and distributed them on the tables, in the order in which they were placed.
"Bring that small hard-wood table over," old lady Chia then exclaimed; "and let our relative Liu sit next to me here!"
No sooner did the servants hear her order than they hurried to move the table to where she wanted it. Lady Feng, during this interval, made a sign with her eye to Yüan Yang. Yüan Yang there and then dragged goody Liu out of the hall and began to impress in a low tone of voice various things on her mind. "This is the custom which prevails in our household," she proceeded, "and if you disregard it we'll have a laugh at your expense!"
Having arranged everything she had in view, they at length returned to their places. Mrs. Hsüeh had come over, after her meal, so she simply seated herself on one side and sipped her tea. Dowager lady Chia with Pao-yü, Hsiang-yün, Tai-yü and Pao-ch'ai sat at one table. Madame Wang took the girls, Ying Ch'un, and her sisters, and occupied one table. Old goody Liu took a seat at a table next to dowager lady Chia. Heretofore, while their old mistress had her repast, a young servant-maid usually stood by her to hold the finger bowl, yak-brush, napkin and other such necessaries, but Yüan Yang did not of late fulfil any of these duties, so when, on this occasion, she deliberately seized the yak-brush and came over and flapped it about, the servant-girls concluded that she was bent upon playing some tricks upon goody Liu, and they readily withdrew and let her have her way.
While Yüan Yang attended to her self-imposed duties, she winked at the old dame.
"Miss," goody Liu exclaimed, "set your mind at ease!" Goody Liu sat down at the table and took up the chopsticks, but so heavy and clumsy did she find them that she could not handle them conveniently. The fact is that lady Feng and Yüan Yang had put their heads together and decided to only assign to goody Liu a pair of antiquated four-cornered ivory chopsticks, inlaid with gold.
"These forks," shouted goody Liu, after scrutinising them, "are heavier than the very iron-lever over at my place. How ever can I move them about?"
This remark had the effect of making every one explode into a fit of laughter. But a married woman standing in the centre of the room, with a box in her hands, attracted their gaze. A waiting-maid went up to her and removed the cover of the box. Its contents were two bowls of eatables. Li Wan took one of these and placed it on dowager lady Chia's table, while lady Feng chose the bowl with pigeon's eggs and put it on goody Liu's table.
"Please (commence)," Dowager lady Chia uttered from the near side, where she sat.
Goody Liu at this speedily sprung to her feet. "Old Liu, old Liu," she roared with a loud voice, "your eating capacity is as big as that of a buffalo! You've gorged like an old sow and can't raise your head up!" Then puffing out her cheeks, she added not a word.
The whole party was at first taken quite aback. But, as soon as they heard the drift of her remarks, every one, both high as well as low, began to laugh boisterously. Hsiang-yün found it so difficult to restrain herself that she spurted out the tea she had in her mouth. Lin Tai-yü indulged in such laughter that she was quite out of breath, and propping herself up on the table, she kept on ejaculating 'Ai-yo.' Pao-yü rolled into his grandmother's lap. The old lady herself was so amused that she clasped Pao-yü in her embrace, and gave way to endearing epithets. Madame Wang laughed, and pointed at lady Feng with her finger; but as for saying a word, she could not. Mrs. Hsüeh had much difficulty in curbing her mirth, and she sputtered the tea, with which her mouth was full, all over T'an Ch'un's petticoat. T'an Ch'un threw the contents of the teacup, she held in her hand, over Ying Ch'un; while Hsi Ch'un quitted her seat, and, pulling her nurse away, bade her rub her stomach for her.
Below, among the lower seats, there was not one who was not with bent waist and doubled-up back. Some retired to a corner and, squatting down, laughed away. Others suppressed their laughter and came up and changed the clothes of their young mistresses. Lady Feng and Yuan Yang were the only ones, who kept their countenance. Still they continued helping old goody Liu to food.
Old goody Liu took up the chopsticks. "Even the chickens in this place are fine," she went on to add, pretending, she did not hear what was going on; "the eggs they lay are small, but so dainty! How very pretty they are! Let me help myself to one!"
The company had just managed to check themselves, but, the moment these words fell on their ears, they started again with their laughter. Old lady Chia laughed to such an extent that tears streamed from her eyes. And so little could she bear the strain any
longer that Hu Po stood behind her and patted her.
"This must be the work of that vixen Feng!" old lady Chia laughed. "She has ever been up to tricks like a very imp, so be quick and disbelieve all her yarns!"
Goody Liu was in the act of praising the eggs as small yet dainty, when lady Feng interposed with a smile. "They're one tael each, be quick, and taste them;" she said; "they're not nice when they get cold!"
Goody Liu forthwith stretched out the chopsticks with the intent of catching one; but how could she manage to do so? They rolled and rolled in the bowl for ever so long; and, it was only after extreme difficulty that she succeeded in shoving one up. Extending her neck forward, she was about to put it in her mouth, when it slipped down again, and rolled on to the floor. She hastily banged down the chopsticks, and was going herself to pick it up, when a servant, who stood below, got hold of it and took it out of the room.
Old goody Liu heaved a sigh. "A tael!" she soliloquised, "and here it goes without a sound!"
Every one had long ago abandoned all idea of eating, and, gazing at her, they enjoyed the fun.
"Who has now brought out these chopsticks again?" old lady Chia went on to ask. "We haven't invited any strangers or spread any large banquet! It must be that vixen Feng who gave them out! But don't you yet change them!"
The servants, standing on the floor below, had indeed had no hand in getting those ivory chopsticks; they had, in fact, been brought by lady Feng and Yüan Yang; but when they heard these remarks, they hurried to put them away and to change them for a pair similar to those used by the others, made of blackwood inlaid with silver.
"They've taken away the gold ones," old goody Liu shouted, "and here come silver ones! But, after all, they're not as handy as those we use!"
"Should there be any poison in the viands," lady Feng observed, "you can detect it, as soon as this silver is dipped into them!"
"If there's poison in such viands as these," old goody Liu added, "why those of ours must be all arsenic! But though it be the death of me, I'll swallow every morsel!"
Seeing how amusing the old woman was and with what relish she devoured her food, dowager lady Chia took her own dishes and passed them over to her.
She then likewise bade an old matron take various viands and put them in a bowl for Pan Erh. But presently, the repast was concluded, and old lady Chia and all the other inmates adjoined into T'an Ch'un's bedroom for a chat.
The remnants were, meanwhile, cleared away, and fresh tables were laid.
Old goody Liu watched Li Wan and lady Feng sit opposite each other and eat. "Putting everything else aside," she sighed, "what most takes my fancy is the way things are done in your mansion. It isn't to be wondered at that the adage has it that: 'propriety originates from great families.'"
"Don't be too touchy," lady Feng hastily smiled, "we all made fun of you just now."
But barely had she done speaking, when Yüan Yang too walked in. "Old goody Liu," she said laughingly, "don't be angry! I tender you my apologies, venerable dame!"
"What are you saying, Miss?" old goody Liu rejoined smiling. "We've coaxed our dowager lady to get a little distraction; and what reason is there to be angry? From the very first moment you spoke to me, I knew at once that it was intended to afford merriment to you all! Had I been angry at heart, I wouldn't have gone so far as to say what I did!"
Yüan Yang then blew up the servants. "Why," she shouted, "don't you pour a cup of tea for the old dame?"
"That sister-in-law," promptly explained old goody Liu, "gave me a cup a little while back. I've had it already. But you, Miss, must also have something to eat."
Lady Feng dragged Yüan Yang into a seat. "Have your meal with us!" she said. "You'll thus save another fuss by and bye."
Yüan Yang readily seated herself. The matrons came up and added to the number of bowls and chopsticks, and the trio went through their meal.
"From all I see," smiled goody Liu, "you people eat just a little and finish. It's lucky you don't feel the pangs of hunger! But it isn't astonishing if a whiff of wind can puff you over!"
"A good many eatables remained over to-day. Where are they all gone to?" Yüan Yang inquired.
"They haven't as yet been apportioned!" the matrons responded. "They're kept in here until they can be given in a lump to them to eat!"
"They can't get through so many things!" Yüan Yang resumed. "You had as well therefore choose two bowls and send them over to that girl P'ing, in your mistress Secundus' rooms."
"She has had her repast long ago." lady Feng put in. "There's no need to give her any!"
"With what she can't eat, herself," Yüan Yang continued, "she can feed the cats."
At these words, a matron lost no time in selecting two sorts of eatables, and, taking the box, she went to take them over.
"Where's Su Yun gone to?" Yüan Yang asked.
"They're all in here having their meal together." Li Wan replied. "What do you want her for again?"
"Well, in that case, never mind," Yüan Yang answered.
"Hsi Jen isn't here," lady Feng observed, "so tell some one to take her a few things!"
Yuan Yang, hearing this, directed a servant to send her also a few eatables. "Have the partition boxes been filled with wine for by and bye?" Yüan Yang went on to ask the matrons.
"They'll be ready, I think, in a little while," a matron explained.
"Hurry them up a bit!" Yüan Yang added.
The matron signified her assent.
Lady Feng and her friends then came into T'an Ch'un's apartments, where they found the ladies chatting and laughing.
T'an Ch'un had ever shown an inclination for plenty of room. Hence that suite of three apartments had never been partitioned. In the centre was placed a large table of rosewood and Ta li marble. On this table, were laid in a heap every kind of copyslips written by persons of note. Several tens of valuable inkslabs and various specimens of tubes and receptacles for pens figured also about; the pens in which were as thickly packed as trees in a forest. On the off side, stood a flower bowl from the 'Ju' kiln, as large as a bushel measure. In it was placed, till it was quite full, a bunch of white chrysanthemums, in appearance like crystal balls. In the middle of the west wall, was suspended a large picture representing vapor and rain; the handiwork of Mi Nang-yang. On the left and right of this picture was hung a pair of antithetical scrolls—the autograph of Yen Lü. The lines on these scrolls were:
Wild scenes are to the taste of those who leisure love,
And springs and rookeries are their rustic resort.
On the table, figured a large tripod. On the left, stood on a blackwood cabinet, a huge bowl from a renowned government kiln. This bowl contained about ten "Buddha's hands" of beautiful yellow and fine proportions. On the right, was suspended, on a Japanese-lacquered frame, a white jade sonorous plate. Its shape resembled two eyes, one by the side of the other. Next to it hung a small hammer.
Pan Erh had become a little more confident and was about to seize the hammer and beat the plate, when the waiting-maids hastened to prevent him. Next, he wanted a "Buddha's hand" to eat. T'an Ch'un chose one and let him have it. "You may play with it," she said, "but you can't eat it."
On the east side stood a sleeping divan. On a movable bed was hung a leek-green gauze curtain, ornamented with double embroideries, representing flowers, plants and insects. Pan Erh ran up to have a look. "This is a green-cicada," he shouted; "this a grasshopper!"
But old goody Liu promptly gave him a slap. "You mean scamp!" she cried. "What an awful rumpus you're kicking up! I simply brought you along with me to look at things; and lo, you put on airs;" and she beat Pan Erh until he burst out crying. It was only after every one quickly combined in using their efforts to solace him that he at length desisted.
Old lady Chia then looked through the gauze casement into the back court for some time. "The dryandra trees by the eaves of the covered passage are growing all right," she remarked. "The only thing is that their foliage
is rather sparse."
But while she passed this remark, a sudden gust of wind swept by, and faintly on her ear fell the strains of music. "In whose house is there a wedding?" old lady Chia inquired. "This place must be very near the street!"
"How could one hear what's going on in the street?" Madame Wang and the others smiled. "It's our twelve girls practising on their wind and string instruments!"
"As they're practising," dowager lady Chia eagerly cried, smilingly, "why not ask them to come in here and practise? They'll be able to have a stroll also, while we, on our part, will derive some enjoyment."
Upon hearing this suggestion, lady Feng immediately directed a servant to go out and call them in. She further issued orders to bring a table and spread a red cover over it.
"Let it be put," old lady Chia chimed in, "in the water-pavilion of the Lotus Fragrance Arbour, for (the music) will borrow the ripple of the stream and sound ever so much more pleasant to the ear. We can by and bye drink our wine in the Cho Chin Hall; we'll thus have ample room, and be able to listen from close!"
Every one admitted that the spot was well adapted. Dowager lady Chia turned herself towards Mrs. Hsüeh. "Let's get ahead!" she laughed. "The young ladies don't like any one to come in here, for fear lest their quarters should get contaminated; so don't let us show ourselves disregardful of their wishes! The right thing would be to go and have our wine aboard one of those boats!"
As she spoke, one and all rose to their feet. They were making their way out when T'an Ch'un interposed. "What's this that you're saying?" she smiled. "Please do seat yourselves, venerable senior, and you, Mrs. Hsüeh, and Madame Wang! You can't be going yet?"
"These three girls of mine are really nice! There are only two mistresses that are simply dreadful." Dowager lady Chia said smilingly. "When we get drunk shortly, we'll go and sit in their rooms and have a lark!"
These words evoked laughter from every one. In a body they quitted the place. But they had not proceeded far before they reached the bank covered with aquatic plants, to which place the boat-women, who had been brought from Ku Su, had already punted two crab-wood boats. Into one of these boats, they helped old lady Chia, Madame Wang, Mrs. Hsüeh, old goody Liu, Yüan Yang, and Yü Ch'uan-Erh. Last in order Li Wan followed on board. But lady Feng too stepped in, and standing up on the bow, she insisted upon punting.