by Jill Shalvis
“Your date had to leave,” he said. “Unexpectedly.”
“Uh-huh. What did you do to him?”
In his world, people never questioned him. And it was a good place to be, his world. Apparently she hadn’t gotten the memo. “Nothing.”
Earlier, in the storage closet at the rec center, he’d stalked her, pressed her against the door. She did the same to him now, but this time her grip on his shirt wasn’t passion. “Tell me, Mark.”
The sound of his name on her tongue did something to him, something it shouldn’t. “He waxes.”
“What?”
“He waxes his body hair,” he said.
She blinked. Paused. “And how did you get close enough to notice that?”
“I wasn’t that close, I have excellent vision. He didn’t have any hair on his arms.”
“He’s a swimmer. So he waxes, so what?”
Yeah, genius, so what? “He had a look in his eye. He was up to no good.”
She gaped at him. “Tell me, was it like staring in a mirror?”
Well, maybe a little. But Mark had taken one look at the guy and seen a player. He’d asked the asshole what his plans were. Kyle had seemed amused by the question but had answered readily enough—candlelit dinner, dancing, capped off with a canyon drive to stargaze....
Bullshit the guy wanted to stargaze. No guy wanted to stargaze. Kyle wanted to get laid. In fact, Mark would bet his million-dollar bonus that the guy had a string of condoms at the ready. “I didn’t like him.”
“You didn’t like him,” Rainey repeated. “And I should care, why?”
“I’m an excellent judge of character.”
She made a sound of disgust. “The last time you scared one of my dates off, I told you to never interfere in my life again.”
He grabbed her as she went to pass by him. “The last time I scared off your date, it was because you were about six inches away from being raped.”
She jerked as if he’d hit her, reminding him of one fact—they’d never talked about that night, about what had happened when he’d finally caught up with her.
Never.
And apparently they weren’t going to do it now either, because she shoved at him hard and he let her go. She turned to her kitchen window, not moving, not speaking, just staring out at the backyard, her eyes clouded with bad memories.
Feeling lower than pond scum, he sighed. “Rainey—”
“Why are you here, Mark?”
“I…” He had no idea.
She turned to face him. “I agreed to go out with Kyle tonight because I’m looking for something. Someone. Or at least I think I am. I’m…not lonely, that’s not the right word. I love my life. But I want someone in it. It’s been a while for me and I’m ready. I want to be in a relationship.”
His gut hurt, and he had no idea why.
Her mouth curved, though the smile didn’t meet her lips. “And I’m guessing by the panic on your face that a relationship is the last thing you’re looking for.”
He wasn’t showing panic. He never showed panic.
“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I made up the panic. God forbid you show an emotion.”
“You think I don’t have emotions?”
“I think you’re miserly with them.” She gave a faint smile. “But I do sense the slightest elevation in your blood pressure.”
Now he rolled his eyes and she let out a low laugh. “Listen, I can’t be like you, Mark, that’s all. I’m not tough and cool as ice in any situation. That’s not me. I want someone to care about me, someone who wants to be with me. Now I’m all dressed up with none of that in sight at the moment, so unless you want to be witness to something as messy as an uncontrolled emotion, you need to go.”
“I would,” he said quietly. “But—”
“But what?”
“I don’t want to.”
At that, she dropped her head between her shoulders and let out a sound that was either another laugh or something far too close to tears for his own comfort. “Mark, you know what broke up our friendship.”
“Yes, you kicked me out of your life.”
She sighed. “I didn’t kick you out of my life. You left to go coach in Ontario, and I…”
“Stopped talking to me.”
“It was temporary—I was mad,” she said. “You remember why.”
He let out a long breath. “Something about me being an interfering asshole.”
“First, you rejected me. Then—”
“You were sixteen!”
“Then,” she went on stubbornly. “You followed me on a date and beat the guy up.”
“It wasn’t a date. He picked you up after you ran out of my place. And in the ten minutes it took me to find you, he had you pinned in his backseat and was pulling off your clothes!”
Remembered humiliation flickered in her eyes. “Okay, so I acted stupid and immature, but I was hurting.”
He blew out a breath and shoved his fingers in his hair. “It wasn’t your fault. What he did to you wasn’t your fault.”
“What he was doing was consensual.”
“You didn’t know what you wanted.”
“I wanted a friend and you turned into a Neanderthal.”
He stared at her incredulously. “Well, what the hell did you want me to do, let him take you? You were a virgin!”
She flushed. “I wanted you to stop interfering as if I couldn’t handle my own problems. I wanted you to listen to me. I wanted sympathy.”
He must have given her a what-the-fuck look because she shook her head.
“I wanted a hug, Mark. I wanted you to hold my hand and tell me I’d find someone else, someone better. I wanted understanding.”
He just continued to stare at her, dumbstruck. Not a single one of those things had ever occurred to him.
The sound that escaped her told him she was just realizing that very fact. Brushing past him, she moved to the front door and held it open. A clear invite for him to get the hell out.
“Rainey—”
“I want to be alone.”
Too damn bad. He slammed the door shut, hauled her up against him, closing his arms around her in a hug.
“It doesn’t count now,” she said stiffly, even as her body relaxed into his and she pressed her face into his shoulder. “Dammit, do you always smell good? That just really pisses me off.”
“You know what pisses me off?” he asked. “That all I want to do is this.” And then he pushed her up against the door and kissed her.
5
THE SECOND MARK leaned into her, his hard body coming into contact with her own, Rainey knew she was in trouble. Her nipples immediately tightened into two beads against her soft top. But that was before his leg slid between hers, spreading her wide, his thigh rubbing against her core.
She wanted him.
She’d always wanted him.
Not yours, she told herself even as she clung to him. He’s not yours and doesn’t want to be. He’s unattainable, unavailable… But he was clearly as aroused as she was, and that felt good. She turned him on, and being with him like this was the closest she’d get to what she might really want from him.
He shifted his thigh, rubbed it against her, and she let out a shockingly needy whimper. His lips grazed her earlobe, his breath hot along her skin, and a rush of heat shot through her. “Mark,” she choked out as his fingers slid beneath her skirt to palm her bottom. It was all she could do not to wrap her legs around his waist and beg him to get inside her now, now, now, and she mindlessly thrust her hips against his. “Please,” she gasped.
“Anything.” He held her against the door, his mouth sliding down her throat and over her collarbone, tugging her shirt aside to make room for himself. “Whatever you want, Rainey. Just tell me, it’s yours.” His hand slid beneath her top and cupped her breast, his thumb rubbing over her nipple until she quivered. “Do you want me to touch you like this? Do you want my mouth on you? What?”
“Y
es.” To all of it.
He tugged her shirt and her bra aside and drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking until she cried out. Lifting his head, he blew a soft breath over her wet flesh and she shivered in anticipation.
“What else, Rainey. What else do you want?”
“Everything,” she gasped. “I want everything.”
“Here? Now?”
“Here. Now. Right now.”
He yanked her skirt up to her waist and her panties down to her knees. In complete contrast, his hand slid slowly up her inner thigh, taking its sweet time so that she was mindlessly rocking her hips, anticipating the touch long before his finger traced her folds. “Mmm, wet,” he murmured, his mouth moving along her shoulder back to her collarbone, which he grazed with his teeth.
“Mark.” She fisted her hands in his hair and pulled his mouth to hers, her entire world anchored on his finger. When it slid inside her, she thunked her head back against the door and panted. Then his thumb brushed her in a slow circle.
She cried out against his lips, arching into him, yanking his hair. She couldn’t help it. She was going up in flames. He merely pressed her hard to the door, locking her in place. Continuing the torture, he added another finger. She came hard and fast, the power of it sweeping over her like a tidal wave. And because he kept stroking, the aftershocks didn’t fade away, but had her shuddering over and over....
“Christ, Rainey.” He sucked her lower lip into his mouth, tangled his tongue with hers. “You are so gorgeous when you come.”
All she could think about was him filling her, stretching her, making her come again. Her eyes flickered open and their gazes met. “In me,” she demanded. “Now, God, now.”
His eyes dilated black, filled with a staggering hunger…for her. She nearly stopped breathing. Instead she moved her hips against his, reveling in the feel of his muscles rippling beneath her touch. He’d pulled a condom from somewhere.
Thank God one of them could think.
After that, it was a blur of frenzied movements. She ripped his shirt off, he unzipped, and together they freed the essentials.
And oh God, the essentials…
It wasn’t enough for him. “Everything off,” he said, then lent his hands to the cause until she stood naked against the door. His gaze swept over her, hot and approving, as he lifted her up. “Wrap your legs around me— There. God, yeah, like that—” His voice was a low command, caressing her as much as his hands. “Hold on to me.” Then his mouth crushed her own as he pushed her back against the door.
She threaded her hands into his hair as he thrust deep inside of her. He made a rough sound of sheer male pleasure, his fingers digging into her soft flesh as she rocked into him. Again he thrust, slowly at first, teasing until she was begging. It was glorious torment, hot and demanding, just like the man kissing her.
They moved together, her breasts brushing his chest, tightening her nipples. She could feel his muscles bunching and flexing with each thrust, sending shock waves of pleasure straight to her core. When she came again, it was with his name on her lips as she pulsed hard around him, over and over again, taking him with her.
Still holding her, still buried deep inside, Mark sank to his knees. He looked as stunned as she felt and something deep inside her constricted. She pulled free. He grimaced but let her go without a word.
She pulled on her panties and his shirt, then leaned back against the door, knees still weak.
Mark got to his feet and handled the necessities of condom disposal and readjustment of clothing.
She had a hard time looking away from him. His pants were riding low on his hips, and he looked dangerous and primed for another round. No, she told herself firmly. You may not have him again. Not without a discussion about what this was, and what this wasn’t, so that she didn’t get hurt. Her terms, or no terms.
“I think we need some ground rules, Mark.”
NO SHIT, MARK thought, still dazed.
“Rule number one. This—” She waggled her finger back and forth between them. “Happens only when and if I instigate it. If you do it, I might mistake it for something deeper and more emotional than it is. It’ll mess with my head, Mark.”
His gut hurt again. The last thing he ever wanted was to hurt her.
“Look,” she said, more softly. “I get that we’re stuck working together for the next month. We’re grown-ups, we’ll handle it. Right?”
He’d never in his life done less than handle anything that came his way. And he’d also never lost his ability to speak either, but he was having trouble now, so he nodded.
“Good,” she said, looking relieved that he’d agreed to her terms. Damn, Rainey, don’t give me yourself on a silver platter and ask for nothing in return....
“You should go now,” she said.
She was making things easy, giving him the exit strategy. He should be ecstatic. Instead, he stepped toward her to… Hell, he didn’t know. Hold her? Yeah, he wanted to hold her until the world stopped spinning.
But she gave a sharp jerk of her head and backed away.
Right. The rules. She was in charge of physical contact. Pretending that his legs weren’t still wobbling, he did as she wanted and walked out.
He’d walked away plenty of times before. It should have been a no-brainer. Hell, he should have been running, far and fast, with relief filling his veins. Except it wasn’t easy, and he felt no relief at all.
Plus, it was damn cold outside and she was still wearing his shirt.
THE NEXT DAY at lunch, Rainey and Lena sat in the small café across the street from the rec center, each inhaling a triple scoop ice cream sundae. Officially, it was a meeting about the upcoming charity auction. Unofficially, it was a discussion on their favorite topic. Men.
Specifically Mark.
“I’m surprised you didn’t make me share a sundae with you,” Lena said around a huge bite. “Usually you only allow yourself a single scoop.”
“It’s an entire sundae sort of day.” Rainey ate one of the two cherries from the top. “It’s got cherries on it so it’s practically a fruit salad.”
Lena grinned. “You know what I don’t get? Why you aren’t singing the ‘Hallelujah Chorus.’ I mean, you got lucky last night. Damn lucky by the looks of you.”
Yeah, she had. It’d been everything she thought it would be, too.
And more. “I can’t believe I slept with him. He chased off my date and I still got naked with him.”
“Look, you can’t blame yourself. The guy’s got serious charisma. He’s a walking fantasy. And you were past due.” Lena paused. “Rick says you two have been past due for fourteen years.”
“Rick? You talked to Rick about us?”
“Everyone’s talking about you two.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, Rainey, maybe because yesterday afternoon after the staff meeting you pulled Mark into the storage closet in the main hallway. And then today you come into work with that glow.”
Rainey ate the other cherry and slumped in her seat.
Lena grinned. “This is going to be fun.”
“No. Not fun. He’s not my type.”
“Right. Because he’s not a fixer-upper,” Lena said. “You like