"Nick says the grav-suit can't make the trip to where Ada's beacon is," Tabby said. "I could probably make it over there in a ten-day if I traveled light."
"What's the downside?" I asked, opening the door.
"We've never successfully made it past the Scatter patrols on Mount Green," she said. "They always run us off. Nick thinks there's a larger population over there. We've even seen a few spaceships over the years."
"You think the Scatters have tech?" I asked.
"Bronze age at the max," Tabby said. "Ada's beacon is roughly in the right place for where we think there's a Scatter city. There's an ocean maybe a hundred kilometers past Mount Green. We just don't know. Four hundred kilometers doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're on foot, it's hard to carry enough supplies, especially if you meet resistance."
"Exactly how do the Scatters run you off?"
"Mostly near misses with arrows," she said. "They don't like to show themselves. If I tried, I could run one down, but I think that'd cross a line we'd have a hard time coming back from. But now with Ada, we're going to have to push things."
"We should all go," I said.
"That's ridiculous. You're in no shape to go anywhere," she said.
"Ada is either alive in her suspension chamber or she's not," I said. "One month isn't going to make a lot of difference. If the Scatters are bronze age, they're communicating. That means they know about you guys recovering me."
"And you think they care?" Tabby asked.
"I don't know who cares," I said, perhaps more barbed than I intended. My hurt wasn't lost on Tabby as I saw a flash of pain flit across her face. "I'm just saying that until recently nothing had changed. They've probably known where Ada’s been for the last twenty years and even so, they ran you off. Maybe that's changed now."
"That's a pretty simple view of things," she said.
I grabbed her wrist, which surprised her and she looked up suddenly. She could easily pull away if she wanted.
"I'm a pretty simple guy, Tabbs." I released her arm and walked back towards the barn, this time paying careful attention to where I stepped.
It was as if I was walking through one of the holographic reproductions of frontier life. There was a pen filled with what looked like giant, blue chickens. Another, much larger pen held a strange looking animal. There was the cabin where Tabby slept and then the barn and a couple of smaller structures including tanning racks and a large firepit.
"Go easy on her," Marny said, catching me before I entered the barn. "This has caught her off guard."
"I'm missing something," I said.
"Give it some time," she said. "How are those stitches feeling?"
I was by far the best poker player in the lot and Marny had given away more than she'd expected by changing subjects on me. "They suck," I said. "Other than the fact that they're keeping my guts inside, that is."
Marny laughed a little more than she should have. She was relieved to be talking about something else.
"How long have they been interested in each other?" I asked. The look on Marny's face told me everything I needed to know. Internally, my world crashed in on itself and I struggled to keep the devastation off my face.
"Frak, Cap," she said. "I'm not the right one for this conversation."
"No," I said. "That was unfair of me. But I had to know."
"I've already talked to Peter to let him know that things have to change," she said.
"Do they?" I asked. "Twenty years is a long time. Are they happy together?"
"Cap, I don't know if I can talk about this," she said.
I nodded and walked into the barn. Nick looked up from where he was working on a pair of leather boots. He looked first at Marny and then to me, nodding his head in understanding.
"Want to try on these boots?" he asked. "I was working on them for Peter, but his will last a few more ten-days."
"I'd go for some pants, too," I said, accepting the boots. "I feel bad that I'm going to be such a drain on you guys. It looks like you're working pretty hard at survival."
"Marny has pants that should work. And don't worry, you'll pull your weight soon enough," he said, handing me my earwig. "Ever done any basket weaving or bird plucking?"
"You know Tabby's going to try to hurt herself, right?" I said. "Unless she's changed a lot, she's not good with this level of conflict. That's probably why she wants to go off by herself after Ada."
"I know," he said. "For the record, I'm sorry things rolled this way. It took a long time for her to finally put you to rest. This thing between Tabby and Peter is only about a year old. I know it seems weird, what with him being so much younger than her, but neither of them had many options. No. That sounds wrong. I don't know what I'm saying."
I studied the lines on Nick's face. He'd aged substantially in the twenty years I'd been in stasis. The old Nick wouldn't have even tried to have the conversation and I appreciated the attempt. The heaviness had returned to my chest and I was genuinely heartbroken. Tabby was the love of my life and I wasn't sure that I could easily survive in a world without her at my side.
Nick continued. "It's just all wrong. You're all such good people and circumstances have really messed with things. Three of my favorite people in the universe are paying for Anino's hubris. We shouldn't be in this situation.
"But here we are," I said, finishing his thought for him. I caught movement from the corner of my eye. Marny had re-entered the barn.
"Someone was asking for pants?" Marny asked, feigning a cheerful tone. She held out a pair of soft leather pants and a shirt, both of which had been well worn and bore patches and resewn gashes. "Peter outgrew these a few years back. I wasn't sure why I kept them. They'll be baggy, but you'll put on weight soon enough."
I pulled on the all-leather outfit. It was indeed baggy, but there's something humanizing about putting on clothing after lying around naked for a time.
"Basket weaving you say?"
"It's really not that hard," he said. "Especially for someone with access to a HUD. The thing is, baskets are crazy useful. Also, we need someone to grind flour. I have a list of tasks suitable for someone in recovery. One thing you learn about subsistence living is that you rarely have a time when sitting around makes sense."
Chapter 6
Pity the Fool
I managed to avoid Tabby for the remainder of the day and slept on the cot next to Marny and Nick's hearth in the barn. They hadn't gotten around to building their own house and instead slept in the loft overhead.
I awoke when someone exited the barn and a ray of light from outside caught my eye. My entire body ached, but the pain was substantially duller than the previous day. Light flashed off something shiny on the hearth next to where my head lay. My heart sank as I recognized the object, it was Tabby's engagement ring.
With effort, I pushed myself up to a seated position and put it on my right hand. The ring slipped easily into place. I sighed and stood. At least Tabby knew that I knew and we could avoid the stupid dance we'd been doing.
I pulled on my new boots and walked outside. There was a skiff of snow on the ground that disappeared underfoot as I walked, leaving my boot prints behind. The leather shirt did much to keep me warm, but in the cold of early morning, it wasn't enough. The loud crack of iron on wood drew my attention to where Tabby stood amongst a pile of split logs. With each swift strike, roughly cut chunks flew apart, piling up on either side of her work area.
I grabbed a couple of already-split chunks and walked them over to where they were being stacked. Tabby kept splitting logs even though she knew I was there. I worked to keep up with her, warming up substantially as I stacked the wood she cut. Finally, after a couple of hours, she stopped, for which I was very grateful. My arms and legs were starting to give out.
"I knew you'd figure it out before I had enough guts to talk to you," Tabby said.
"I don't want to make things harder, but it's not over for me yet," I said.
"I still love you,
Liam," she said, tears trickling down her face. "I always have."
Part of me wanted to rush over, pull her into a hug, assure her that everything would be just fine and that we could forget about the years that had passed. I wanted to tell her that she and Peter were a poor match for each other. It was only through sheer force of will that I kept my mouth shut.
"I found this on the hearth," I said, pulling her ring off my finger and holding it out to her.
"I don't know what to do, Liam," she said, fresh tears falling from her eyes. "I buried you and promised myself to another. Rings of Saturn, tell me what to do here."
"Do you love him?" I asked.
Tabby smiled. "You will love him, Liam. He's such a sweet man. I've dreamed of telling you about him."
A lump formed in my throat and I sat down heavily on a stack of logs. Part of me already despised Peter. The fact that he brought such a smile, my smile, to Tabby's face was like a sword being driven into my chest. "That's pretty messed up from where I stand," I said, both satisfied and annoyed that I'd driven the wistful smile from her face. I didn't want to hurt her, but it was hard not to lash out under the circumstances.
"You know he's afraid of you," she said.
I shook my head in disbelief. "I think he's safe."
"There's more," she said. "I lost a baby about six months ago."
My world spun and I was glad that I'd chosen to sit. "You were pregnant?"
"Second trimester," she said. "Something wasn't right."
"I'm sorry, Tabby. That must have been hard."
"I was going to call him Liam," she said.
A part of me still wanted to lash out and ask what she’d have done if the baby had been a girl, but I held my tongue.
"I don't get it, Tabbs. He's half your age. I understand there's not a lot of choice, but seriously?"
Her face hardened and she went on the defensive. "You're half my age too, Liam," she said. "He's only two years younger than you are. At least if you consider you've been suspended for all that time."
"But we have so much history," I argued. Part of me recognized the futility of the argument, but it was the only card I held.
"It was so long ago, Liam," she said, burying her face in her hands as she turned and ran off.
I grabbed a small armload of firewood and walked back to the barn. In my short time on Fraxus, I'd learned that firewood was a resource that had to be constantly refreshed.
"I see you found Tabby," Nick said, looking up from where he was working at his long workbench.
"I really tossed things in the shitter with her," I said.
"I talked with Peter and Tabby last night," he said. "They're going to try to see how far they can make it to Ada's location. It'll give everyone time to think."
"She's gone, isn't she," I said.
"Only if you force her to be. You know as well as I do that we can never go back. We can't go back and save my mom and we can't go back and save your dad. What's happened between Peter and Tabby isn't going away. There's only forward. I guess you have to decide how much you want to be part of things if it doesn't go the way you want."
"I need a villain," I said. "I want to hate Peter, but he seems like a great kid. Even with all of this, I can't bring myself to hate Tabby."
"Anino?" Nick asked, looking at me hopefully. Talking about hating his son was hard on him and I found it confusing since I generally told him everything.
"Yeah. That's for sure. I hate that little bastard," I said, vehemently.
"I think he's prepared for our disapproval," Nick said.
"Do you think this was his big plan? Send us out of the galaxy and strand us on an M-Type planet where we'd never be heard from again?"
"He could have just had us killed," Nick said. "The fact that the chambers were stasis instead of inertial gel and that they were designed to be ejected from the ship makes me think this was at least part of his plan."
"He'd better hope we're never standing in the same room again," I said. "Because there's no doubt in my mind I'll drop him where he stands."
With Little Pete and Tabby gone, life on Fraxus settled into a routine as Marny, Nick, and I prepared for the onset of winter. At first, I was of little help. However, after just a ten-day, I'd put on five kilograms and enough muscle that I was able to invest myself into more and more difficult tasks.
At the end of the fourth ten-day, I was enjoying a rare moment of quiet while setting trout lines in the frigid river that ran past the homestead. I heard a shout and the iron bell next to the central fire pit rang out. I'd learned that the bell was used as a general-purpose alarm. Whenever it rang, everyone was to come running.
I tossed my half-baited line of hooks back into the water and picked up the string of fish I'd collected. I was proud that I’d captured my own small bait fish, set the lines, and harvested the fish all on my own. The catch would be a nice break from the salted blood-deer flanks.
I ran back to camp, glad that my legs finally had some strength to them. I was far from my previous shape or weight, but with the help of constant physical activity, I was kilogram for kilogram, substantially stronger. When I made it to the edge of camp, I hung the bag of fish on a hook next to the table where I would clean them later. Nick's design for the table was such that once the fish were clean, the entire table could be lowered into the frig pen, where the cute little porcine they’d captured would happily clean up the entrails.
No one was near the bell, so I set about scanning the tree line. On the far-northern edge of the compound, I could just make out four people. Little Pete's bulk was a dead giveaway that he and Tabby had returned. I set off at a run in their direction. Even with the angst I'd felt during the separation from Tabby, it was exciting to have them back and to possibly get word about Ada.
"Fresh blood deer tonight." Little Pete finished a sentence with a barking laugh that sounded like thunder. His barrel chest heaved with exertion as he fought to catch his breath. On his shoulder atop a heavy pack, lay a blood deer that probably weighed twenty-five kilograms. He didn't seem to even notice the additional weight as he firmly hugged Nick's tiny form.
Tabby's eyes locked on me as I approached. She was slightly winded and smiling, obviously exhilarated by the effort of their return hike, which I suspected had turned into a race at the end. I gave her a welcoming smile and tipped my head back in acknowledgement. I wasn't anywhere near settled, but four ten-days had given me a much-needed break and the ability to clear my head.
Little Pete turned to me as I approached and then looked to Tabby for reassurance. The idea that this mountain of a man had anything to fear from me was laughable. The fact was, Peter was the son of two of my best friends and I could not see a world where I wanted to alienate him. I offered my hand as I approached. "Who got the deer? Ooh. Uh. Hello there," I said awkwardly, as he reached past my arm and pulled me in for a hug.
"If you listen to Tabitha, you'll think she coaxed this little one from the very mountain itself. But it was my sling that brought it down," he said, his deep baritone rumbling within his chest as he laughed and recounted the chase.
"You barely winged it," she objected. "I had to chase it down. You're such a liar and a brat."
"Everyone knows a blood deer runs even after it is mortally wounded. You cannot claim that which you did not strike."
I reached up and tugged on the blood deer's bound legs. Little Pete smiled and leaned to the side so that I could unload the animal from his back. Twenty-five kilos was about the extent of what I could carry and I struggled to get it onto my shoulders. I felt a bit of embarrassment when he had to help me center the weight so I wouldn't fall over.
"We have a lot to talk about," Tabby said. "Liam, you sure you have that?"
"Until I fall on my face, I do," I said, looking intently back at Little Pete.
It was hard to dislike the man because he immediately understood what I was saying and laughed without reservation. "He hardly looks like the same man," Little Pete sa
id. "You're filling those clothes out and your face is brown from the sun. Mother has always said the mountain air is the best way to health."
"Because you drove me nuts in the house," Marny said. "Let's build a fire and have deer and fish. We'll feast the return of our family."
I walked ahead of the knot of people, mostly because I had a limited amount of time where I could carry the blood deer on my shoulders. We hadn't had any fresh kills since the two primary hunters had left, but I knew what to do with the carcass. I'd seen how Tabby had hung the animals she’d brought back before she processed them for meat.
"There's a trick," Tabby said, approaching me from behind as I struggled to hook the deer’s legs into the hanger while not tipping over.
"You're both okay?" I asked.
"We need to talk," she said. "But first, put the deer on the ground."
"Once it's down, it's not going back up," I said.
"It's okay, trust me," she said.
I sighed as I dropped the blood deer onto the ground. The vision of Little Pete effortlessly carrying the extra weight was firmly emblazoned in my mind. I was definitely no competition for him.
"I do trust you," I said, which earned me a smile.
Tabby unspooled the leather cord connected to the hanging hook. I felt dumb that I hadn't realized it was long enough to reach the ground. She poked the hooks behind the Achilles and looked at me expectantly. I wound the cord onto a wooden spool as Tabby lifted.
"So much easier that way," she said.
"Not for you or Peter, I wouldn't think."
"He takes after his mother," she said. "I can still kick his butt, though."
I chuckled. No doubt that was true. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Not yet," she said. "We need to talk about Ada."
"You found her?" I asked.
"No, but we have a pretty good idea where she's at," she said. "You look better, you know that?"
"Thanks. Marny's a slave driver."
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