by Tara Wimble
“Family giving you a hard time?” Jacque asks, oblivious. “I know mine are and there’s a chance I could be stuck here with the weather we’re having.”
“You could say that.”
“I could also say- it’s not long until camp.” Jacque reminds her, trying to cheer her up from the imaginary funk Bella has about her family. “Are you flying into Toronto first before we head to Vancouver?”
‘We.’
Bella ducks her head down and smiles. “I was thinking it’d work out better that way. Have you booked anything yet?”
Bella spends five minutes biting her lip, stifling a smile, while Jacque unwittingly starts to plan out their flight plans to get them to their February camp before the Cyprus cup. She should be celebrating with the rest of her family as the night gets closer and closer to twelve but she’s happier to sneak into the empty back room to sit and listen to Jacque go off on her tangent.
“-and then we’ve just got World Cup qualifiers-”
It hits her out of nowhere, while Jacque goes on about the rest of the year, that she’s as sober as she’s been all night and that empty feeling she’s been filling with food and drink isn’t the start of her getting sick but longing.
Bella leans over until she’s able to rest her elbows on her knees while on the phone. She misses Jacque. They’ve been apart since mid-December when they were at residency together and before that Jacque had been on holiday with Kathryn and taking up a small coaching job at the University of Washington. She’d been invited but she’d needed a moment to just breathe without feeling like she was going to say the wrong thing. Spending time alone in Chicago after Quenby, Lexi and Sadie had all left, had been good for her. It just means now that her desire to see Jacque again has skyrocketed without her realizing.
“Bella?”
She’s wiping a tear off her cheek, wondering how that got there when Jacque calls for her. “I’m here.”
“I thought you were going out tonight?”
God, she’s crying. “Yeah, uh, I decided to cancel. Jake came home for the holidays and I haven’t seen him so much-”
“I’d hoped he was there since you didn’t answer your phone.” Jacque points out. Bella stares upstairs, where she’s been trying to escape to all night.
“I left it in my room.” Bella takes deep breaths, desperate not to let Jacque hear her voice starting to crack. “Trying to be social and all that.”
Her joke passes and she can just picture Jacque locked in a quiet room somewhere while the rest of her family continues the party. “Thank God for Jake then. I would have hated to have to leave that voicemail.”
“I’m sure-” Bella wipes under her eyes again. Looking upwards is helping with the crying but it’s not taking away how much she wishes Jacque was here celebrating New Years with her like she was a few years ago. “How’s everyone doing?”
The longer Jacque talks her way towards midnight, the more Bella dips up and down with her need. Even though she’s not upset, the all too familiar affection overwhelms her. It’s then that she knows she’s going to have to face up to this sooner rather than later.
It’s terrifying.
“Listen- I have to head back into the madhouse.” Jacque starts to seal up the call.
“Same, I should get back.” Bella sighs.
The family party is the least appealing thing in her mind and the rest of the night will be spent in her room before her mom pushes her in the direction of another guy just as the clock signals the start of a new year.
“-but I’ll see you soon.” Jacque keeps her hanging on. “Tell everyone I said ‘hi’ and that I miss them. Maybe not your mom but-” Bella laughs and there must be something sad in it because Jacque levels herself out in her parting words. “-have a good night, even without me.”
I wish you were here. “Impossible.”
“Happy New Year, Bella.”
Happy New Year. She holds Jake’s phone against her chin long after Jacque hangs up and no one comes to find her as the countdown starts to boom from inside the living room. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6,-
Wish you were here.
5, 4, 3, 2-
1.
Chapter 10
2014
*
“HOW’S the apartment looking?”
Bella fixes her headphones. “They fixed that problem with the sink while we were gone so there’s one less thing to complain about. Quenby and Lexi should be moving back in about a week.”
She finally settles back in her chair to see Jacque staring back her through the screen. “Just in time for you to get back before pre-season. How’s the coaching going?”
They saw each other briefly at the Cyprus Cup camp. Bella knows that they really spent almost three weeks together, training and playing matches, and eventually beating out England in the finals. Yet it doesn’t feel like they spent a lot of time together. The team had been wrapped up together in the buzz of winning and taking home another trophy to kick off the year.
And with it being the last year before the World Cup, every win counts.
Jacque had flown back to her coaching gig while Bella had gone straight to Chicago to prepare for the second NWSL season. Alyse had been glad to take advantage of her boredom and set her to work repainting the offices, as well as helping out with selling tickets and recording new videos to put up on the website. When Jacque got back they’d set about recording the Bella and Jacque show on top of that.
This year they were determined to make it into the playoffs after finishing sixth last year. It’s not gonna be an easy task but they’ve been blessed with a good pick of the newly drafted class and with Lexi, Amy, Boxxy and Zee all looking healthy, Bella’s hopeful they can kick off a strong start to the season.
“-so they’re gonna keep the position open for me once I’m done with the season. As long as I finish up those courses that I keep having to postpone.” Jacque chuckles to herself. “We’ll have time before the World Cup.”
Bella makes a fake noise of agreement. “Oh sure. Between the season, qualifiers, the numerous tournaments that we’ll be invited to for practice, oh- another NWSL season? I’m sure.”
Jacque laughs but she ponders on that schedule for a second. “I should have gotten all of that done a little sooner.”
“You’ll get it done.” Bella reassures. “Maybe John can hand off some of the sessions to you so you can write them up.”
“Yeah maybe.” Jacque wonders. “I might ask Rory. There’s less to panic about if you’re not attempting to train the national team.”
“If you get us out of that beep test then I’m all for that.”
Jacque tuts. “You know I like making you run.”
“Not in the snow.” Bella reminds her. “I don’t know what’s worse, that it’s still freezing here, or that we have two college exhibition matches forecast for random snow flurries-”
“Random snow flurries?” Jacque deadpans before breaking out into a smile. “Sometimes I think you forget that you lived in Canada during the winter.”
She remembers more about being curled on the couch in a heavy blanket than the times that they had to trudge through the slush and cold to Whitecaps practice and games. Hindsight gives her a lot more snippets of her life back then before Blake came into the picture. A lot more of Jacque complaining about her turning on the heat and Kathryn beckoning Bella to join them both sitting around the coffee table playing some sort of board game until she lost.
“Little lost there?”
Bella snaps back into focus, head held in her hand, staring at the screen and by default, Jacque. “Sorry, I’ve been trying to get everywhere cleaned up. Whoever leased this after us left a ton of stuff in the bedrooms.”
“Take a break.” Jacque charms. “Watch a movie with me.”
“You’re miles away.” Bella ducks her head, rubbing her eyes.
“Please.” Jacque starts pushing things around on her desk, clearing them away. “We have similar collections. Pick on
e and stay online with me-”
She protests half-heartedly because while she’d rather Jacque was actually here with her, this is better than nothing. “You pick.”
Jacque holds up the choices and Bella moves into the living room, which is finally clear of the boxes that had been left behind, so she can lie on the couch and watch as Jacque finally chooses something with a lot of singing and she finds the same one in her DVD collection.
Musicals catch her attention and the dancing makes her smile but in the end she pays more attention to Jacque’s facial expressions over the Skype call than the entirety of the plot. Bella sighs against the pillow.
Yeah, she has to do it soon.
*
It’s different reuniting this time. Firstly, it’s Bella who’s picking Jacque up from the airport and secondly the tension isn’t so much derived from fear but the roiling excitement that Bella feels to actually see Jacque again, not just through a computer screen, or for a few weeks at a time for camp and games, but solid for the next couple of months.
The excitement is enough to have her tapping her fingers anxiously against the steering wheel because, of course, Jacque had booked her flight during the height of traffic hour and Bella’s stuck in it. She checks her iPhone and sighs, she’s going to be late for sure.
The anticipation only builds as she inches along the freeway moving closer and closer to O’Hare and she has time to actually allow herself to think about what Jacque’s going to look like, what she’s wearing, is she going to be as excited to see her as she is?
That last thought puts a small pit in her stomach. What if Jacque isn’t? It’s a thought she wants to scrap, and somehow finds a way to mostly push from her mind, but can’t completely remove from her head.
Finally the cogs start to move again and in less than five minutes she’s reached her destination.
A quick text as she approaches the arrivals is all of the warning that she gives Jacque that she better be outside waiting on her first pass through, trying to come all of the way around if she gets shooed by airport security could take another half an hour at this time of day.
Sure enough Jacque is waiting by the curb, leaning against some baggage carts, looking in the direction that the cars are coming from. She looks even better than Bella could have imagined, it’s shouldn’t be possible because she definitely looks like she’s been flying all day, but somehow she makes it work.
Bella is lucky enough that Jacque’s decided to stand where there’s room on the curb so she pulls up and immediately unlocks her car, pressing the button by her left leg that pops the trunk open automatically.
Jacque walks around back and lifts the hatch the rest of the way, Bella can feel the car rumble a bit as she tosses her full luggage in the back. The hatch gets shut firmly and Bella takes a deep breath in anticipation.
The door opens and she’s greeted with Jacque’s bright smile and then Jacque leans over, before putting on her seatbelt, and kisses her on her right cheek. “Hey.”
“Hey back.” Bella answers and desperately hopes that Jacque can’t tell how a simple kiss on the cheek has made her flustered. Luckily there’s a heavy flow of car traffic so she can calm down before they get on the road.
There’s a brief lull and she pulls out into traffic before they get stuck there.
“Good flight?”
Jacque shrugs her shoulders, Bella let’s herself look over briefly before focusing back on the road. “Great flight, there was this cute baby next to me. Played with the little guy the whole way.”
A goofy smile forces it’s way on Bella’s face at the visual. “Oh yeah? Did you stop him from crying because I bet you were the hero of the plane.”
“Definitely.” Jacque laughs, clicking her seat belt finally. “They even gave me a medal on my way out. I’ll show you when we get home.”
“You better.” Bella jokes back but inside she’s overwhelmed and that’s the end of the conversation as Jacque closes her eyes and asks Bella to wake her when they get there.
Jacque called it their home and sure they share it but it feels different when Jacque says it.
Different and yet shockingly familiar.
Almost like they have something that’s theirs. Like there’s a ‘they’ at all.
*
The Red Stars staff organize a huge welcome back meal for them before pre-season starts and it’s just what Jacque had been looking forward to. Everyone is there, even the newbies from the drafted class, mingling and catching up with people after a long off-season.
Jacque heads straight for Boxxy, who’s up on her feet and looking better than ever after getting through her physio. She’s one of the people that she can’t wait to play with for a whole season. Sadie drove Quenby and Lexi down and they’re huddled by Maribel and Jen, discussing how long Lexi has left of her own rehab before she’s one hundred percent fit again. Bella makes a beeline for Zee and Rachel, swinging Zee around off the floor until she squeals mercy.
The meal has them sat around smaller tables in the function room so that they’re exposed to more people than just who’s sitting next to them. Jacque and Jen get to know more about some of the rookies that they’ll be paying with this season. They get their fair share of amused glances when they start talking loudly about their own rookie seasons, in years gone by, until Sadie shouts from a table over to stop making her feel old.
Bella drops by her table briefly, just to hand over her car keys, and it becomes very obvious that the rookies are watching the two of them interact with almost wide eyes. That is until Jacque invites them on the web show and they all revert to shyness once again.
It’s all kept light during the actual meal time and then once they’re fed Rory deems it time to get serious and talk about the team and individual goals for the year.
Rory insists on them all gathering around in a circle, hugging each other’s shoulders, as he talks. Keeping them together while he talks about the goals set out for the team this year. The drive towards the playoffs, team awards as well as individual honours, he wants them to strive for greatness. Jacque honestly thinks they have a good shot and the season will definitely be better a second time around.
Sixth place is the low point and it would be a disappointment to move down, there’s two places they can fall from there, but as Rory reiterates there’s also a great ways they can climb as well.
And that’s the ultimate goal. Just get a little better each day and before they know it they might see themselves even rise to as yet unforeseen heights.
*
They have FCKC’s number. It’s a match that always seems to surprise but in the seventieth minute Chicago seal the deal with goal number three and it comes off Bella’s assist to Zakiya. Lauren Holiday tallied the only goal against then but since then Amy and Sonja have shut down any of their streaking plays between Tymrak and the FCKC Co-Captain. Jacque has never been prouder to stand on the backline with her team.
Even if that means feeling the crunch when she stops Henderson from making a break for goal. Her hand goes up but Jacque’s done her job and it’s a goal kick for Sadie. She’s pulled up by Lexi and she jogs forward to her line again. All she can hear is Lauren yelling out directions being passed to her by Rebecca. They’re rattled by their lack of success towards Sadie and it’s exactly what they want.
Sadie pushes them all forward. Back into the fray, into the attack, and they don’t give up. Jacque makes a few other clean tackles and Amy passes them all down the line.
Their final chance comes in the closing seconds, something to keep FCKC on their toes as Boxxy hits off a strong cross into the box. Bella gets a head on it but the crossbar takes away a further goal lead and then the whistle cuts it short.
Mid-season and they’re hitting a solid winning streak with a few surprises along the way. Beating Kansas City isn’t one of them.
With this win away they’re clear in fifth place with seven points over Washington.
Bella walks to the sideli
ne clutching her face with a hand and Jacque speeds up her jog just a tad. She calls out for her and Bella waits up, grimacing, that last header must have been out of place.
“It’s not the nose again?” Jacque tilts Bella’s head up. “You need to get this thing insured.”
“No, uh, it’s fine.” She can feel Bella swallowing as she touches her. “Might have been my head this time.”
Jacque’s thumb just catches the bottom of Bella’s chin. “Yeah, we should check you out.”
Bella is definitely dazed because she giggles and rests a hand on Jacque’s bicep. “Aren’t you already doing that?”
Jacque catches herself before she tells Bella to stop being cute because by now it’s obvious that Bella doesn’t possess that kind of power. “I guess I am.” It doesn’t look like she’s actually concussed, a fact that’s confirmed by Dani when she’s checked over with Jacque letting her lean on her shoulder on the drive back to the hotel.
It’s comfortable there and she finds that even once it’s no longer a necessity she leaves her head there anyway, it’s not like anyone will question it, she’s taken a knock to the head.
And Bella is going to take any free leeway she can get to enjoy these little stolen moments.
*
With the win streak Rory starts to train them harder and harder and, for their part, they buy into his system of physical play and hard work and they can feel it paying off for a while. The wins keep coming and morale stays high.
But then the wheels start coming off practically all at once, of course.
Whereas last season they were able to avoid being plagued by the injury bug that hit the other squads, it seems as though this season has finally called their number.
Boxxy is the first to drop again, re-injuring the same knee on a routine lateral cut during their match against Boston. She keeps a brave face as she’s carted off the field though Bella can’t help but wince because this probably isn’t just the end of her Red Stars season.
No. That’s not a thought she likes to entertain for anyone.
Mautz gets taken down in the game directly after that and the murmuring in the locker room grows more and more worried.