by Anna J.
As for the team, I had plans to fly out to L.A. to see my boy Goon. He did the damn thing while in school, and I hated to see him go, but we knew that was the plan going in. He was a beast on the court and was the number three draft pick for the L.A. Lakers. I was happy for him, and I was glad he made it out the hood. We both walked across that stage and grabbed that degree, and even though he tried his hardest to get me to see past the streets, this was what I was doing with my life. My father was not happy about this, to say the least.
I was genuinely happy for my boy. He made it out the hood. He fought against adversity. He built a solid team. He made it to the big leagues. That was the type of shit that made all of this worthwhile. The turn-up for his sendoff was major. I got the baddest bitches on campus, the best food our city had to offer, and we shut the club down, popping bottles all night. I surprised him and flew his grandma and siblings out to see him graduate, and the smile on his face showed me that he was eternally grateful. He taught me a lot during his reign, and I would definitely miss him.
What I loved about Goon was his loyalty. He wasn’t even in L.A. a good month before he was calling me down there to see how he was living. I stayed at his condo while I was there, and he made sure I had courtside seats to the games. He introduced me to other players on the team, and I definitely made sure I got an autographed jersey with his number on it. He was the brother I still had after my brother departed.
I couldn’t wait to introduce him to Selah. She heard stories about Goon, but I needed her to know he wasn’t a monster either. I trusted him with my entire life, and I needed her to have that same trust. Aside from my biological brother, who was already deceased, Goon was all I had.
It was weird for me not to just get up and go. I was used to just packing a bag and jetting, or just grabbing my passport and getting what I needed once I landed. As long as my team was solid, I was good to go. This having to check in shit was taking some adjusting, and quite frankly, I was over it. I hadn’t had a curfew since I had a curfew, and I was not about to be put on a schedule. I also didn’t feel like arguing with Selah about it, and I thought the best thing to do was invite her along. That way, she could meet my boy and let me have some peace.
That shit did not go as planned, and I ended up regretting even offering the damn trip. I was willing to give her the rest of my life, but not if it had all these stipulations.
“Chase, some of us have a job we go to. I just can’t up and call out for two weeks without getting fired. Vacations are planned, not impromptu for a half a month.”
The look on her face said the most. She didn’t trust me to take care of us, and I completely understood it. We weren’t on that type time just yet, and she was the independent type. That was smart of her not to jeopardize her bag, but where did that leave me? I wasn’t about to sit around there when I didn’t have to.
“Selah, I dig that. I wasn’t asking that you stay the entire. Just come out, meet my boy, party a little, and I’ll have you on a flight back here Sunday night.”
“You’ll have me on a flight? So you plan to stay out there without me?”
I wanted to scream. What part of a two-week vacation did she not get? I wasn’t going out there just to be with Goon. I was trying to develop some connects over there to get cash flow rolling in on that part of the globe. My shit was bigger than just Philly. I wanted global wealth, and I wanted it for my team, as well. I believed in leading by example, and this was how moves were made. Hell, she kept hollering about a legit business. I was planning on surprising her by showing her a few nightclubs that I wanted to invest in while I was there, but she was fucking up the church’s money. What had I gotten myself into?
“Selah, let’s just have this conversation a little later when we are both less tense. My only priority is that you remain happy. This is such a minute circumstance, love. We can get through this. I promise you.”
She looked like she didn’t want to believe me, but at least I got her to shut up for the moment. I had to find something to occupy her time so that I could get this money with the least amount of stress. She was cool people; she just had to adjust a little to dealing with a guy like me—or I would just have to let her go.
Selah
Life With Chase
This man was so happy to have me there. When I showed up after work the next day with my suitcase and duffle bag, he had already made room for me in the bedroom, and he gave me permission to turn his third bedroom into a walk-in closet. It was initially going to be an office space, but he never got around to it. He gave me his credit card and a $10K limit. I was in love.
I thought it would be weird not being at my parents’ house on a regular basis, but after a few weeks of waking up there and returning after work, I was slowly starting to get used to being in his space, or our space, as he insisted. He made sure we had plenty of food and things to drink, and I had my room furniture already ordered and ready to go. What I couldn’t order, he promised to take me out over the weekend to shop for it. I was impressed.
It was actually fun to cook dinner for him at night. I would pretend I was my mom in the kitchen, whipping up meals like she did for my dad on a daily basis. This was not about to be a takeout-dinner-every-night household. I learned from the best, and I was about to show him. My dad even shared his famous sweet peach tea recipe with me, and when I made it for him the first time, he was hooked. I knew then, I would definitely have to keep a carafe for him in the fridge.
It appeared that life with Chase was going to be good. However, there were some things I just couldn’t get used to. I don’t know what I was expecting, but him coming in at the wee hours of the morning bothered me more than I thought it would. I thought the purpose of him having a team was so that he could live a normal life. Since he didn’t have a typical nine-to-five, I wasn’t expecting him to just be sitting home all day, but I was expecting him to do something other than trap all night. He had a bachelor’s degree, for God’s sake. Utilize that shit and open a clothing store or something—anything to normalize his life and not have him on the run all the time. We were not Beyoncé and Jay Z. I needed a normal life.
What irked me a little was he thought buying me things would shut me up. I could buy my own shit; I wasn’t that girl. You couldn’t just silence me with diamonds. I knew what I was getting into when I got with him, though, so I was either going to have to shut up and take that shit or deal with it until he put a plan in action. Either way, something was going to have to give sooner than he thought.
Second thing that irked me—him waking me up to fuck when he came in. Every. Damn. Night. Like, okay, dude, you put a ring on it, but you don’t own me. I have to get up in the morning to go to work. I didn’t have the energy to be riding dick every single night and sometimes again in the morning. We would have to have a talk before we burned each other out before we even got started. Was this man a sex addict, or just happy to see me? I really wanted this thing to last with Chase, and if it were going to last, we needed to set some boundaries ASAP. It could be that he was excited to have me on a regular basis, so I dug it, but we were going to have to space this shit out. Good thing you can’t run out of pussy, because the way this man was in me all the time, he would deplete that damn supply in no time.
The old saying goes, “If you look for dirt, you find dirt.” The type of shit that happens when you are home by yourself will get you in a world of trouble sometimes. So, I was bored as hell on a Friday, and Chase was out on the block yet again, doing what trap boys do. Of course, I took some time to set some things up in my walk-in closet, but I felt like I needed to familiarize myself with the entire house since I was living there now. Nothing looked out of the ordinary as far as I could see. Chase was very anal about things having a proper place, so there wasn’t anything just lying around haphazardly.
I looked in the drawers to see that his clothes, all the way down to his underwear, were folded neatly. Everything was checking out, and I was impressed until I stumbled u
pon a pair of panties and an earring shaped like an S on the floor in the back of his closet. Now, I didn’t immediately go off because, for one, they were in the back of the closet, which meant they could have been there forever and he had no idea, or they could have just gotten there and he still had no idea. Women were so petty and strategic. Chase would have just thrown the shit in the trash had he known it was there. Women hid shit knowing another woman would search for it. Most guys didn’t think to look that far into the closet for anything, but the person that put that there knew for sure that women were detectives and would peel the fucking carpet back looking for a stray hair to have evidence before we ended up wrong about some shit.
I was a little upset, not because I thought he was currently cheating, but because obviously, at some point, someone else was there. Again, who knew when? I wasn’t about to appear insecure in front of him, though, so I placed both items in a sandwich bag and stuck them in a basket in my room until I had time to further investigate. When I decided the time was right to go to him, I needed stone-cold facts that he wouldn’t be able to deny.
As I continued my little search, I didn’t come up with anything else that didn’t belong, so in my head, it further proved that the panties and earring were planted. The mystery was by whom and how long ago? What did they want me to know about him that I didn’t know already? I had to keep my cool with this, though, because if it were some shit, I needed it to be without a doubt. That’s how I played myself with Kevin, and he almost got to wiggle out of the bullshit he put me in. I didn’t have all the info when I first stepped to him, but it didn’t take me long to hunt it down and gather it up. When I was on a mission, I didn’t stop until it was complete.
Of course, I shot a text to my girls of the stuff to put them on alert, being sure to get clear pictures so that we knew what we were dealing with. If we were going to have to body this dude, we needed to be on point; but for now, I was just going to enjoy the amenities. There was no use in causing drama in the household that didn’t need to be there because when it was time to wreak havoc, there was no room for doubt.
Peeping at the clock, I saw that it was almost seven, which meant if I were going to get in bed at a reasonable time, I needed to get dinner done. I had no idea what time Chase was coming in, so I just made enough for myself. It was almost like he didn’t appreciate a home-cooked meal.
I tried blinking back tears as I rinsed pasta off to boil and prepped the chicken. I was so fucking lonely, and I wasn’t used to it. I was used to being around family. We had dinner as a family every night, with lively conversation about what happened in our day. The only thing I had to talk to were the damn walls because I was there by myself. I did not want this type of life.
I had no idea this was what I was signing up for. A part of me wanted to go and pack up the little bit of shit I bought there with me and go back home. Then again, I knew this was how he got his money. How else would we be able to afford all this shit we had if he didn’t do what he was doing? I made okay money, but not enough to afford us living there. I was so torn, and my appetite was completely gone. I knew he would bitch, but I just turned the stove off and left everything where it was as I ran into the bedroom and cried on the bed. I did not like this shit, and I didn’t think I would ever get used to it. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but what was I supposed to do? I needed to adjust quickly, but it was too much of a struggle.
I eventually cried myself to sleep, and I was awakened by Chase. By the time my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw a big box siting on the end of the bed. I broke out in tears instantly, and he had the most confused look on his face.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked as he tried to wipe my face.
I knew I was looking crazy at the moment, and I didn’t care. I wasn’t built for this shit. I wanted to go back home. Maybe I made the jump too soon.
“I have to go back home. I can’t be here by myself,” I cried out as he held me even tighter.
“Babe, I know I have to do better,” he began to explain as he tried to comfort me. “I’m setting things up now so that I can spend more time with you. I just need you to be patient, ma.”
I cried so hard I could barely catch my breath. Did my mom and dad ever have to go through this? What did she do? I wanted to give us a fighting chance, I really did, but I didn’t feel like I had any fight in me at the moment. He could have at least stayed with me the first week to help acclimate me to my new living situation. It was like he just threw me in the middle of the ocean, knowing I couldn’t swim and leaving me to figure out how to survive. I was not ready, and I was not happy.
“Babe, look at me,” he coaxed as he lifted my chin for me to look him in the eyes.
I tried to fight it, but finally, I gave in and looked up, his face a blur from the tears in my eyes.
“I will never purposely hurt you. I should have probably thought this through a little more before I asked you to uproot your life like this. I should have been more prepared, but I promise you I will not make you regret coming here.”
“But, Chase, I’m—”
“Selah, give me a chance. I’m begging you.” He pulled me in so close I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek.
I was supposed to be there with him. I just had to chill the fuck out and get with the program. He said things would change soon. I had to at least give him the opportunity to do the right thing. He was not Kevin. I had to keep repeating that to myself. I was not a princess locked away in a castle, waiting for a prince to come save me. I could come and go just like he did. I had to find better ways to occupy my time, maybe take another class, hang out with my girls more, find a hobby, something that wouldn’t have me stressing about him.
“Babe, I got something for you,” he said, gently placing me back on the bed and getting up to reach for the box. He set it in front of me with the most genuine smile on his face. He set the box down between my legs, and all I could do was smile. He was thinking about me even when I thought he wasn’t. I needed to start giving him more credit.
I went to pick the box up to shake it, but it was a little heavy. I had no clue what it was, and my face showed it. First removing the bow, I gently took the lid off, and the cutest little puppy was asleep at the bottom of the box. I busted out in tears again as I reached in to grab it. I’d always wanted a teacup Yorkie. She was so precious. This was just what I needed, for right now at least.
“Chase, are you kidding me?” I asked as I held the dog to my chest. She had the cutest little pink-and-white bow on her head with a diamond-studded collar around her neck. It was love at first sight.
“I know this doesn’t take the place of me being here,” he explained as he took a seat next to us on the bed. “But I figured you might need some company until I get in.”
His smile . . . I promise it got me every time. I pulled him in for a kiss, and I assured him that I would give us a chance.
We all cuddled in the bed together after he reminded me that he was taking me out shopping in the morning. I mentally added stopping at Monster Pets while we were out so that I could get some cute stuff for our new addition.
This man really loved me. He’d been proving it to me since the beginning. I had to learn to be more patient with him. We were going to be great together. We had to be.
Although this was a nice gesture on his part, I didn’t forget about the panties and the earring. That shit almost slipped out with my emotional ass, but I pulled it back in. This very well could be nothing at all, but until I found out the truth, I was holding that ace in my back pocket.
Vice
Shade Comes In All Shades
“You have got to be fucking kidding me!”
When I received the picture text from Selah, I almost lost my mind. A pair of panties and an earring shaped like the letter S. Who the fuck else would that shit belong to besides Sajdah? This bitch was really playing on my sister-friend’s face, and I was not about to just let this thing slide. It was time to put some shi
t into action because obviously, Sajdah didn’t think she had anything to lose at this point. We could body both they asses in any order Selah saw fit.
I ain’t gonna lie to you, though. When the text first came through, a bitch was nervous. I felt like I took all my shit the last time I was there, but you never knew. It only took a strand of eyelash hair to connect the damn dots. Low key, I was falling for Chase, and I felt horrible about it. I knew I couldn’t have him, though, so I allowed that fact to keep me in check while I still enjoyed the benefits of a good dick down.
Chase made this shit too easy. He was the easiest target on the damn map, and I was shocked that Selah hadn’t clued herself in to that fact before now. She was usually very specific about who she dealt with and always alert. I don’t know how in hell we’d been getting away with fucking her man all this time, but I wasn’t about to be the bitch to bring it to her attention. I just played my position like the queen that I was and played my part as her friend, like I always did. Never switch it up on a bitch. That was my story, and fuck whoever didn’t believe it.
I texted Skye to gauge her reaction, and she was just as pissed as I was. When did Sajdah get so bold? I at least hid my shit well. I crept up on that nigga during the wee hours in the morning while he was out trapping. Once Selah moved in to the house, I made that my absolute last time going there. As far as she knew, I had no clue where that man resided, and I would act just as shocked once she invited us over to see her new digs. You had to wake up extra early in the morning to catch me with the bullshit. Now, before she moved in, I busted plenty of nuts on that same mattress she was sleeping on at night. I had my naked ass on the counter where she ate, and even busted it open in that gorgeous-ass shower they now shared, but I was content in the trap house for an hour or so. I was from the hood, so none of that shit bothered me in the least.