by L. A. Sable
“No problem,” I respond, voice full of concern as if I haven’t been planning this precise moment for weeks. “Is Chloe going to be okay?”
“She’s only suffering the consequences of her own choices,” the coach says, rolling her eyes. “Now get out there and show them what you’ve got so we can salvage this.”
I assume that Coach Lehy is the type who really likes to show disgusting pictures of wrecked private parts during the mandatory sexual education classes. There isn’t even an ounce of sympathy in her tone as she glares in the direction of the locker room.
It’s amazing how similar the blisters caused by poison ivy resemble the ones of a venereal disease. Especially considering that I made a point of editing the Wikipedia page for Herpes so the picture it shows looks just like the rash Chloe had on display. Everyone will believe that she’s been the victim of the worst gift that keeps on giving and no amount of protest on her part will change anyone’s mind.
If it happened to anyone else, I’d consider it too cruel of a punishment but Chloe isn’t getting anything more than what she deserves.
I strip off my jacket and pants as the tittering crowd dies back down. As I approach the diving platform, I notice that Grace has come back from the locker room but she’s alone. She takes her seat on the bench with a placid expression on her face that makes it obvious she won’t let Chloe be the anchor that drags her ship to the bottom of the ocean.
My gaze scans the crowd and I notice Charlie sitting alone in the stands. Her expression isn’t one of amusement as she nervously wrings her hand. I can’t help but wonder if she’ll ultimately prove to be an ally or another loose end that has to be tied up. I understand what motivated her to betray me, the desperation that moved her to make a terrible decision, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting her off the hook. If she wants my trust back, she’ll have to earn it.
I execute a nearly perfect dive with an effortlessness that belies the hours of practice I’ve put in. The cheer that goes up in the crowd as I come up for air is deafening. Their positive attention is a like a drug and for a moment I let it wash over me before swimming back to the pool’s edge.
To my surprise, Grace is standing by the ladder as I pull myself out of the water. Her smile is the friendliest that I’ve ever seen it as she holds out a hand to help me up.
“That was a beautiful dive,” she says once I’m standing next to her. “I’m not sure I want to follow you up there.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re supposed to be talking to me?”
“Don’t be silly,” she replies with an airy wave of her hand. “We’re teammates now. And with Chloe out of commission, you’ll be what wins us the meet.”
“Did she leave?”
“No idea. She was crying in the bathroom and it got super annoying so I just left her there. If I were her, I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to ever show my face here again.”
“It can’t be all that bad,” I say, voice full of fake sympathy. “People have short memories.”
“Not for something like this,” Grace laughs, the sound more spiteful than it should be when referring to a friend. “Anyway, I’m up. Wish me luck.”
“Definitely.”
I watch her walk away as a burst of triumph runs through me and not just because I performed one of the best dives of my life.
Queen Bitch is dead, which means her throne is mine for the taking.
“Have you cast your vote yet?”
I look up from my textbook to see Lukas taking a seat across from me. I’m sitting in one of the most isolated parts of the library and it’s Friday night, so the only way he’d find me here is if he’d come looking.
“For what?” I ask airily, flipping the page in my notebook. As if I don’t know precisely what he’s talking about. “I’m not old enough to vote.”
His lip lifts with the hint of a smile as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the wooden table. “You never make anything easy, do you?”
Setting down my pencil, I lean forward until our faces are much closer together than is strictly appropriate for the school library. “You have my undivided attention. What’s up?”
“I was asking if you’ve had a chance to vote yet. The deadline is tonight.”
“Oh, that. I’d sort of forgotten about that nonsense.”
A total lie, of course. I’m probably the only person in the entire school who has Chloe listed as a Proli, but I’m hoping her recent string of misfortunes are enough to at least knock her out of the running for Diamond.
One can only dream.
But the look on Lukas’s face makes it clear he isn’t exactly buying my act. “For someone who doesn’t actually care, you seem to have maneuvered yourself into a pretty sweet position. I’ve heard mutterings that more than a few people have you on the top of the heap.”
“Really? That’s nice.”
“Nice?” His eyebrows nearly shoot up into his hairline. “People have practically killed to keep the vote going their way.”
I can’t help but think of Charlie and her betrayal. “I definitely believe that.”
He leans back in the chair, eyeing me like I’ve just grown a second head out of my neck. “You really don’t care about the vote?”
“I don’t want to be a Proli, if that’s what you’re asking. But I’m not going to lose my mind over all this either.” I have to look back down at my textbook so he doesn’t see the lie written on my face. “Are you worried that you might lose your spot?”
“Not really,” Lukas replies with a shrug. His phone buzzes loudly enough to rumble against the table but he doesn’t even bother to look at the screen. “The hierarchy for guys has always been less volatile, for whatever reason.”
I can’t stop myself from scoffing at that.
“What?” he asks, expression genuinely confused. “Is that funny?”
“Sorry, I thought that was a joke. For whatever reason? I think the reason is pretty damn obvious.”
“Then help me understand.”
I realize belatedly that I’m probably revealing too much of the inner workings of my mind by even having this conversation, but it’s too late to backtrack now. “Guys don’t spend all of their time jockeying for position in the way that girl’s do. It’s written into our code to have a social order.”
Lukas cast me an amused look. “Explain.”
“Just think about it. You and the other Diamond guys get to be equals, actual friends. You don’t walk around constantly trying to one-up each other with your outfits or your hairstyle.”
He pushes his hand through his hair, tousling it in a way that would look messy on anyone else but totally works on him. “I think you’re underestimating how much time I spend perfecting these waves.”
“That may be,” I acknowledge with a small smile. “But it’s not like Jayden would stop talking to you for a week because you got the same haircut as him. The girls have very different priorities and they are always comparing themselves to each other. Each of those bitches has a very defined position and stepping out of line would mean severe consequences.”
“I’m still not sure I get it.”
“Girls play a role, whether or not you can see it. Chloe is the Queen Bee, obviously. She sits on the top of pyramid and she got there through fear and social control. Grace is her sidekick and right hand. She would follow Chloe over a cliff because her power only lasts as long as she’s riding Chloe’s coattails. Maisie is the information broker. She’s the one who knows everything about everybody, which is what keeps her safe even when she does things the others don’t like.”
Lukas has his chin cradled in his hands as he watches me, like I’m delivering a university lecture and there will be a test later. “What about Ocean?”
“Ocean is probably the prettiest which should make her more of a target, but she’s dumb enough not to be a real threat.”
“You’ve put a lot of time into working this out.”
“Not really,
” I reply, almost offended. “It’s perfectly obvious if you’re paying even a little attention.”
“So what will happen if the vote changes things up.” There’s a teasing note in his voice, but his eyes are serious as he regards me. “Will that make you the new Queen Bee?”
That moment is where my plan ends because it’s impossible to conceive of the narrow world of Black Lake Prep without the current status quo. “I’m more the revolutionary leader who stages a violent overthrow and has everyone beheaded, then leads a puppet state that masquerades as a democracy.”
“So you’d go full fascist, huh?”
I laugh so he knows I’m joking. Mostly. “You know absolute power always corrupts.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“But we won’t know for sure until the voting is over.”
He triumphantly slaps the table, loud enough that I worry the dour librarian is going to come running. “So you do care about it, after all.”
“Maybe I just don’t want a repeat of last term,” I acknowledge, drumming my fingers on the table. “We all saw how well that ended.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
How he looks at me is frankly assessing, as if he’s cataloguing the entirety of my being or attempting to solve some sort of mystery. When our gazes meet, the heat in his eyes makes me blush even though nothing sexual has passed between us.
His phone buzzes again, shattering the heavy silence and allowing me to breathe normally again. I don’t want to be affected by him like this, or any of the guys. I have to keep my wits about me or everything will fall apart. “Do you need to get that?”
Lukas doesn’t even bother to glance at the screen. “Nope.”
“So what’s up?” I ask, once it’s clear that he isn’t going to say anything else. “I know you didn’t come here just to discuss political theory.”
“You do provide some interesting conversations.”
His phone buzzes again. Exasperated, I reach for it but Lukas snatches it away.
“Seriously, who is that?” I ask him.
He sighs heavily. “Who do you think?”
I can’t stop my mouth from falling open. “Chloe? I thought you guys were done.”
“She’s having a bit of a breakdown after what happened at the swim meet. Everybody is still talking about how she’s diseased.”
“Maybe she was just allergic to something,” I say, wondering if I’m going straight to hell when I die or if there’ll be a pit stop in purgatory first. “You could always get yourself checked if you’re worried.”
“Chloe doesn’t have a disease, I’m nearly sure of it. That rash is probably just an allergic reaction, she’s always had sensitive skin. The problem is that everyone thinks she does.” He moves the phone out of reach and glares down at the table in front of him. “Apparently, I’m the last person in her contact list who hasn’t blocked her so she’s been blowing up my phone all day. I guess your theory about the fragility of feminine social structures is accurate, after all.”
A giddy feeling spreads over me at the thought of a desperate Chloe with everyone’s backs turned toward her. I struggle to keep the smile off my face. “What does she want from you?”
“Help with damage control, I assume.” He rolls his eyes but there’s a pained look on his face that reads like something close to pity. “The timing of it couldn’t be worse with the vote so close.”
“Yeah, that’s really bad luck.” Or the result of meticulous planning on behalf of yours truly, but whatever.
“Yep.”
It’s impossible not to notice that he seems genuinely conflicted. I can’t stop the little stab of annoyance when I realize that he’s not completely over her and have to remind myself that I don’t really care about him. No real feelings are supposed to be a part of things. This is all just part of my master plan. “So are you going to help her?”
He raises an eyebrow and glances down at the phone still buzzing away on the table. “Obviously not.”
“But you haven’t blocked her number.”
“Good point.” Lukas picks up his phone and holds it in his hand for a moment, glaring down at the screen. Then, as if he needed a few extra breaths to steel himself, he presses a few buttons until the annoying buzzing finally stops. “And that’s the end of an era.”
“How does it feel?” I ask, tamping down on a surge of triumph.
“Better than I thought.” His gaze moves over me in a leisurely way, lingering on the neck of my shirt where the top few buttons have been left undone, revealing the smallest hint of skin. “It helps to have something to distract me.”
I give him what I hope is a flirtatious smile, even as my heart skips a beat. “Are you calling me a distraction? I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”
His fingers briefly touch the back of my hand before pulling away. “The best sort of distraction, but I think it’s a little more than that.”
“Are you still trying to get under Chloe’s skin? There’s nobody else around this part of the library so we should move near the front if you want a public show.”
“I’m not worried about Chloe. There’s no point in kicking her while she’s already down. I don’t want anything bad to happen, but I’d rather not think about her at all.” His long fingers wrap around mine and squeeze gently before holding my hand loosely in his. “This isn’t about pretending anymore.”
All of this was supposed to be just another part of my deception, but I’m having a hard time convincing my body’s reactions to go along with the plan. The fluttering of butterflies in my stomach and the rising heat of my skin are very real.
But the girl who would be Diamond can’t make it easy on anyone. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” He squeezes my hand one more time before pulling away. “I just want to make sure you know I’m in the running, for real this time.”
“In the running,” I repeat as I frantically search for an appropriate response that isn’t overplaying my hand. It’s imperative that I maintain the balance between keeping him interested and not committing to anything specific. “Is there a race going on that I don’t know about?”
“My brother and the fame whore are already at the starting line from what I’ve seen. And probably Asher too, if he ever gets his head out of his ass.”
The mention of him makes my teeth clench, even as a bloom of heat grows in my belly. I can’t help but wonder what Lukas has seen that I may have missed and also why I care. “Asher hates me, remember.”
“I’m not so sure about that. He’s been talking way less shit than he used to about you. He’s always been hard to figure out, but something tells me there’s more than you think.”
As long as I live, I’ll probably never understand that guy. I’m not exactly happy about the fact that Asher spent so much time trashing me to his friends, but it’s interesting that things have changed. I still don’t know what to think about the strange conversation we had after the boat race. There’s been no opportunity to hash it out with him, even if I wanted to, because Asher has been doing a great job of avoiding me for the last few weeks. He even got switched to a different section of English so we don’t even have any classes together.
“Well, I’m not into Asher,” I assure him, tasting the words as I try to figure out if they’re a lie. “He’s been nothing but an asshole to me since the day we met.”
“That better be a promise,” Lukas says with a rueful smile. “I need to know who my competition is.”
But the subterfuge isn’t enough for me. I need confirmation that this conversation is actually what I think it is. Despite everything that’s happened, it’s hard to believe that I’m actually sitting here right now and haven’t imagined the last three months as some coma-induced fever dream. “Is that your way of asking me out?”
He casually shrugs, but a light pink burns in his cheeks. “I could go old school if you want and pass you a note i
n class. Do you like me, circle yes or no?”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “If by old school, you mean middle school.”
“Sounds about right,” he says with a slightly abashed smile. “That was the last time that I asked a girl out.”
“Are you really over Chloe, though? I’d understand if you weren’t. I mean, you guys were together for so long.”
Lukas seems to consider that for an agonizingly long moment, as if he’s trying to put his thoughts into words. “We really weren’t, though, because she wasn’t the person I thought she was. That whole time, I assumed that I had a faithful girlfriend who loved me, but that wasn’t the case and maybe it never was. I won’t pine for something that I never actually had. So yeah, I’m hurt and embarrassed, but I’m completely over Chloe.”
I try to lighten the mood, if just to combat the pang of guilt that I feel. “That’s good. I’d definitely think less of you if you ended up on a Jerry Springer episode.”
“No more public embarrassments for me, thanks. Honesty is the most important thing to me right now.”
“Good to know.” I glance down at my textbook, trying to ignore the strange cocktail of emotions rolling over me. “It seems like you’re in a much better place.”
“We all are. Especially you. Things seem way better for you now than they were last term.”
“It’s definitely different,” I acknowledge, aware of just how true that statement is. “I just want to put all the bad stuff behind me.”
“Did the police ever find the guy who was standing behind you before the crash?”
My head snaps up. “Wait, what guy?”
Lukas looks at me with a strange expression on his face. “The guy I saw standing behind you before you had your accident.”
Pressure builds in my chest, threatening to explode right out of me. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”
“Shit.” Lukas spits out the curse word like it tastes bad, expression angrier than I’ve ever seen it. “I told Asher about this weeks ago. He told me he’d let you know.”
Term paper forgotten, I stare him down with an intensity that I barely recognize in myself. “Tell me now.”