by S. Nelson
Clamping my legs together to alleviate the intensity did nothing but push Lincoln’s mouth closer. I was on the brink, the tingling in my belly cresting and pushing me toward an all-consuming orgasm.
“Lincoln!” I shouted, pulling on his hair before letting my legs fall to the side.
“Shhh,” he warned, throwing my leg over his shoulder. “I don’t want anyone to hear you comin’.”
It was late, and while I’d heard some voices earlier, I didn’t think there were many people gathered in the other area of the clubhouse. But I didn’t know if there was anyone else staying in any of the other rooms, so I tried to control myself. Moan after moan fell from my lips, and when he realized I couldn’t be quiet, he moved up my body and covered my mouth with his, his fingers continuing to work me over as he swallowed my screams when he tipped me over.
When I started to come back down, he kissed along my jaw, then beneath my earlobe, which was a ticklish spot I found out. I laughed when he persisted and tried to move away, but he had me pinned in place.
“Now I know your weakness.” He wiggled his brows and his fingers at the same time, which were still inside me, lazily stroking me.
“You’re my weakness.” My heart ached at the thought of not being with Lincoln. I was an overthinker by nature, and every time I concocted some hypothetical scenario, I swore my heart and mind reeled with the possibilities that someday we’d be separated. While I was young, what I felt for him was the real deal.
“I’m your weakness?” he asked, propping himself up on his forearm, trailing the fingers he had inside me a moment ago along my side, making me flinch. Apparently, I was ticklish in more than one spot.
“Yes.” I looked away for a moment to gather my nerve. “Please don’t be freaked out, but I need you.” I wanted to say so much more but feared he’d reject me and run.
“I know. That’s why I’m right here.” He looked like he wanted to say something else but kissed me instead. It was moments later when he finally spoke again. “I want you so bad right now, but if you’ve changed your mind, I’ll stop. Just say the word.”
His concern for my well-being touched me so deeply I couldn’t even put it into words. But instead of being extra mushy, and getting even more emotional than I already was, I said, “I want to be with you.”
Lincoln pushed himself back until he sat at the bottom of the bed. He leaned over, reached down and grabbed his jeans, pulling a condom from his back pocket. Standing to his full height, he ripped the foil with his teeth and sheathed himself before covering my body with his once more.
“Wrap your legs around me. Yeah, like that.” His hand disappeared between our bodies right before the tip of him pressed into me. I’d seen what he was gifted with, and he was as large as he felt. There was a mild discomfort as he worked himself all the way in, but once I was full, the ache that had resided within me pumped back to full force. “Am I hurting you?”
A tear escaped from the corner of my eye at his question, and it had nothing to do with what he’d asked me. Not really. The last time Griller forced himself on me, he asked me that same question when I was facedown on his mattress. When I answered yes, he laughed but never stopped. He loved my pain, whereas Lincoln would do everything in his power to protect me from it.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because you care.”
“I do.” He kissed me. “More than I ever have for anyone else before.” He pulled back before thrusting forward, slow and gentle, the muscles in his neck straining as he moved back and forth. “Fuck!” he grunted, capturing my mouth and stealing my breath. “I want to stay buried inside you for days.”
“Okay.” I was serious, but when he chuckled, so did I.
He kissed the sweet spot beneath my lobe, only this time I was too busy enjoying the feel of him to be bothered by the slight tickle of his lips. I ran my hands over his broad shoulders before grasping his arms as he drove into me in long, sure strokes, pinning me to the bed.
I was caged beneath him, but I’d never felt so free.
When Lincoln picked up his pace, the sounds he made were guttural, filled with desire and need, pushing me into a world of sweet torture.
“Maddie.” My name was expelled on a ragged breath. He dipped his head and took my nipple into his mouth, teasing the tightened bud with his tongue, then his teeth, careful not to apply too much pressure before releasing me. He moved to my other breast, continuing to torment me with his mouth. Moments later, with a gruff moan, he rolled us until he was on his back and I sat astride him. “Is this okay?” He barely had the air in his lungs to ask the question, grabbing my hips and moving me back and forth on top of him.
The position allowed me to feel like I was in control, not that I didn’t feel that way when I was beneath him, but there was something about this position that lit fire to my confidence.
“Yes, but I’m not sure how to—” He pumped upward, obliterating the rest of what I was gonna say. “Oh… you’re so deep this way.” I held myself upright by slapping my hands on his chest, the hardness of his muscles eradicating any fear I was hurting him.
“Grab your tits,” he ordered, his eyes darkening with lust.
“But I’ll fall.” I wanted to please him, but I feared I’d topple over if I removed my hands from him.
“I got you.” His grip on my waist tightened, but he wasn’t hurting me. If anything, the power of his hold thrilled me. “Do it.” I moved my hands up my body until I came to my breasts. “Squeeze them. Play with your nipples. Yeah… like that.”
Watching the way Lincoln licked his lips as he watched me play with myself was like the best drug. He made me feel desirable, something I’d never felt before him. But it wasn’t long before he was commanding me into another position, pulling me toward him.
“Put your hands on the bed.” As soon as I complied, he reached around and gripped my ass, moving me so that I was bouncing up and down on him. Then he thrust upward and pulled me down at the same time, rocking me back and forth like before. “Fuck, yeah,” he grunted. “I’m gonna come soon.” The sounds he made pushed me closer and closer. “Use my cock for what you need, baby.” He licked at the seam of my lips. “Are you close?”
“Yes.” I could barely breathe. My body was filled by him, as was my heart. “I’m almost there.” He rested his forehead against mine, his warm breath fanning my mouth as he struggled to maintain any sort of composure.
Then, without warning, Lincoln flipped me on my back, never breaking stride as he continued driving into me. His hand disappeared between our bodies, finally shoving me over the cliff. With his head buried in my neck, his hand moved to cover my mouth when I started to scream. I ended up biting his finger, but I didn’t think he even noticed, grinding into me as he came seconds after me.
Only when our heartbeats slowed, did Lincoln roll onto his back next to me, removing the condom and tossing it in a nearby waste bin. “Come here,” he said, pulling me so that my head rested on his chest. “That was—”
“Amazing,” I finished for him. “I’ve never….” My words trailed off because I didn’t want to think about what I’d never been able to do before he came into my life. I only wished my virginity hadn’t been stolen so I could’ve given it to him.
Craning my head to look up at him, my heart skidded to a stop when he winked at me, his smile widening when I snuggled closer.
“I love you,” I whispered but loud enough for him to hear me clearly because his eyes almost popped out of his head.
“Maddie… I… I don’t think what you feel for me is love.” He flashed me a strained grin, looking more like a guy who wanted to run for the hills rather than lie here with me.
“But I do,” I argued, my heart splintering with every second in which he didn’t tell me he felt the same way.
Lincoln shifted, helping me to sit beside him. “I know you believe that, but I think sleeping together has muddied the waters between us.”
“You regret it
?” I tried to remain as calm as I could, but my damn voice shook. “You think having sex with me was a mistake?”
He reached for my hands, but I yanked them back. “Maddie. No. Of course, I don’t regret it.”
“But you said that if we did it, that I would belong to you. And you to me.” My bottom lip quivered, and I cursed my emotions for rushing over me.
“I didn’t lie about that.” He moved into a sitting position as well, reaching for me once more, but again, I moved back. If he touched me, I didn’t know what I’d do, too vulnerable right now to trust myself.
All the times I’d been forced to have sex, I’d never once felt this exposed, my heart hanging in the balance. The one person I knew I was meant for didn’t love me.
“You don’t love me.”
“I don’t,” he quickly responded.
What’s the saying?
Like a Band-Aid… right off.
34
“Maddie. Come back here.”
She told me she loved me, and I told her I didn’t feel the same. What was wrong with me? She offered me her body and her heart, and I dumped over the entire experience with my thoughtless words. And now she locked herself in the bathroom.
“Go away,” she cried, her voice cracking, devastating me.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Fuck!” I growled, walking the few feet to get to the bedroom door, glancing behind me to see if Maddie had come out of the bathroom. Of course, she hadn’t. She’d probably never come out again.
Knock. Knock.
“Linc!” Ace shouted from the hallway.
I swung open the door so fast Ace almost hit me in the face, his fist raised to pound on the wood again.
“What?” My temper had gotten the best of me, and although Ace didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end, I didn’t have time to mess around. I had to get back to Maddie before my thoughtlessness did any more damage.
“You left your cell on the bar,” he answered, handing it to me.
“So?”
“So, it keeps ringing. I think it’s Rico, about a fight.” He moved to walk past me and into the room, but I blocked him from entering. “Where’s Maddie?” Ace looked down and saw that I was naked except for a sheet wrapped around my waist.
“She’s in the bathroom.”
“Whatcha doin’ in there?” His arched brow indicated his disappointment, but the crook of his smile told me he might be amused. I didn’t have time to decipher exactly what expression was the one he wanted to portray, so I shoved him back.
“None of your business,” I said, slamming the door in his face before he could ask me any more questions or shoot any more confusing looks my way.
I was next to the bathroom two seconds later. “Maddie, please open the door and talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I heard her sniffles, and instead of giving her the time she so obviously needed, I pounded on the door.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, so you better get your ass out here and talk to me.” I hit the door with my fist over and over, coming across as annoying more than anything else. But I’d do whatever it took to get her to hear me out.
After another minute with no result, I must’ve released every curse word known to man, backing up and leaning against the nearest wall. I ran through all the things I wanted to tell her, none of which would soothe the wound I’d created.
Maddie was mine. Undeniably.
Did she make my heart race? Yes.
Did I dream about her? Did I miss her when she wasn’t with me? Yes, and yes.
Did I want to give her the world? Yes.
Was there a strange pull dragging me toward her? Another yes.
Could I picture my life without her? No.
Did I love her? Wasn’t it too soon?
I didn’t have a straightforward answer, which angered me. Why couldn’t this be simple? And if it was confusing for me, how was I gonna be able to explain it to her?
The creak of the door opening had me moving forward, meeting Maddie at the threshold of the bathroom. She’d been crying, as I suspected, her eyes red and slightly puffy.
“I’m so sorry, babe.” That time when I reached out to touch her, she let me. “It’s not that I don’t—”
“You don’t have to say anything.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have told you that. You’re right. I’ve been through a lot, and I’m just confused. What I feel for you probably isn’t love at all, but something else altogether.”
I’d been the one to try and convince her of that very thing, so why the hell did her words gut me?
35
Two days had passed, and the awkwardness between me and Lincoln only seemed to increase. Ever since I told him that what I felt for him wasn’t love, although I believed the opposite to be true, he seemed to be distancing himself, acting like I’d been the one to break his heart and not the other way around. He wasn’t even sleeping in the same room with me anymore.
My time here was closing in, and although I feared that Griller was still waiting to snatch me back, I had to devise some sort of plan to leave. I couldn’t stay here at the clubhouse forever, and now that things between us were strained, I thought it was best to leave.
Losing myself in mindless television did nothing to take my mind off my situation, and it wasn’t until Lincoln walked into the bedroom that I perked up. Simply looking at him made my heart thrash inside my chest, so much I sometimes feared I’d have a heart attack.
“Hi,” he greeted, rooting through some of the drawers of the dresser until he pulled out a white T-shirt. Turning away from me briefly, he pulled his off and tossed it in the corner. Before he redressed, I saw the handle of a gun in his waistband.
“I don’t like guns.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to say that because I doubted he cared.
“I’m not a fan either, but we need to carry in case somethin’ goes down.”
“Speaking of which,” I said, moving to stand next to him. “I’ve been thinking and… um… it’s for the best if I leave.”
“Leave?”
“Yeah. It’s because of me that the Reapers might come after you all, and I just think I should go.”
“And where do you think you’d go?” He folded his arms over his chest and didn’t look pleased to be having this conversation. Was it because he realized I’d need his help? I didn’t have any money, so I would need to borrow some from him. I’d pay him back, of course, once I was settled and got a job.
“Back home to Oklahoma. I have an aunt who lives about an hour from where I did. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but I’m sure if I reached out, she’d help me.”
“No.” His response was immediate and curt.
“What do you mean, no?”
“What do you think no means, Maddie? It means you’re not goin’ anywhere.” He unfolded his arms and advanced toward me. “I told you right before you spread your legs for me that if we had sex, you belonged to me, and me to you. Do you remember that?” His tone was angry, some of his word choices crass, but his eyes told me something different.
Was he upset I wanted to leave here?
Leave him?
“Do you remember?” he repeated, grabbing my arms and pulling me into him, his lips an inch from mine.
“Yes.”
“So, what makes you think I’ll let you go?”
“Are you saying I’m your prisoner now?” My heart skidded to a stop, my mouth dropping open in surprise. Had I been wrong about Lincoln all this time? While he never physically hurt me, nor did any other members of his club, was he going to keep me here against my will?
There was a knock, the handle of the door twisting before he could answer.
“Linc, what the hell ya doin’ back here? Let’s go.” A young guy who looked to be closer to my age walked in, looking to me, then Lincoln. “Hi.” He stepped forward and extended his hand. “I’m Zander. Linc’s brother.” As soon as he introduced himself, I saw the resemblance,
although their eye and hair color were different.
“Hi. I’m Maddie.” I looked at Lincoln quickly. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”
“That’s probably because he didn’t want any competition.” Zander was attractive with his dark blond hair and hazel-colored eyes, his hair a bit shorter than Lincoln’s. He was tall, but then next to me, most people were. “Do you know he has a sister?”
“Yes. Riley. I met her a couple times. I like her.” I smiled to ease the mounting tension in the room. I’d suddenly become uncomfortable with the way Lincoln’s eyes bounced between me and his sibling.
“And how do you know my big bro?”
“She’s my girlfriend,” he answered for me, shocking me half to death.
“Okay.” He nodded before inspecting the room. “Are you keeping her locked in here? How come I haven’t heard anything about her? No offense, Maddie,” he said, before turning his focus back on his brother.
“It’s complicated.”
Wasn’t that the understatement of the year?
“Sure, it is. Okay, whatever. You ready to go or what?” Apparently, Zander wasn’t going to inquire any more about me or our relationship, which was fine with me.
“Yeah, give me two minutes.” His brother huffed. “Zan… two minutes. Go talk to Dad or somethin’ until I’m done.”
“Where’s he at?”
“I don’t know, but he’s here somewhere because Mom still won’t let him come home.”
“Those two.” Zander sighed, shaking his head. He pointed his finger at his brother. “Hurry up.” Then his eyes landed back on me. “Nice to meet you, Maddie.” And as quickly as he appeared, he was gone, leaving me with all sorts of new questions.
Once the door closed, my mouth opened. “Why did you tell him I was your girlfriend? And why did you never mention him before?” I was insulted he didn’t think me worthy enough to tell me about his other family member. “Do you have any more, other than Riley and Zander?”