by David Connor
“You’re testifying on my behalf.”
“We’ll go in and give you some privacy.” Erika couldn’t help but feel responsible for Tom Alan’s sour new outlook.
“No.” He did a flip flop. Not all that long ago, ambivalence was his Achilles heel. “It’s nice out here…and Milo’s right.”
“About a lot of bloody things if we’re keeping track.”
“Once you get over the initial embarrassment…it’s…kind of…relaxing. We brought ice cream.” Tom Alan reached for the picnic basket. Erika pretended not to look at his ass, while other two took in the sight free of inhibition.
“Rocky Road, nudity, and alcohol…what problems can survive that combination?” Billy had the nerve to smack it, claiming, “Booger did it,” when Tom Alan whirled around.
“We’ll have to share,” he said, glaring. “I only brought two spoons.”
By the time they’d polished off the quart, six cans of beer, and a bottle of wine, Tom Alan was trying to teach Billy how to lift Erika. “I know you got the muscles. She does most of the work—holding herself stiff. Look.” He demonstrated with Milo, recreating the scene from Dirty Dancing. Now he showed everything, as he stretched from up on tiptoe, raising Milo toward the sky. The splash when he dropped him wet everything around them, including the untouched fruit, cheese, and crackers. “Oops. You try.”
“I don’t want to drop her.”
“We’re in water, Bill. It’s safe.”
“You do it first,” Billy said.
Tom Alan’s gaze met Erika’s. Seeing one another naked was one thing. Touching each other, that was something else. He held out his hands though, and she twirled into them, as if performing. It was quite a bit harder in water. Her back was to him, where she felt his gut move with every inhale and exhale. His warmth, hair, his flesh—she sensed everything, including his thickening dick. They turned together, still connected, then Erika came around to face him, just as close. Tom Alan put one hand on her abdomen, low down, almost where Billy had brought her to orgasm with his mouth not long ago. His other went atop it, and she molded herself to his palm. With a rush of air, he hoisted her up, and held her there, with two hands, and then one. It felt different. His hand on her body, it was something she’d taken for granted for years, except for on their wedding night. He spun, around in a slow circle, and then brought her partway down, his free hand on her hip. Bare bodies together once more, their faces aligned. She looked into his eyes. He looked into hers, and then she put her lips to his and they kissed.
Chapter 6
Erika got to the house first, running as fast as she could on waterlogged legs. She headed right to her room for a robe, and then to the dryer for a pair of Tom Alan’s pajama pants and a T-shirt that would be way too long on Billy. She’d hoped he would be right behind her.
“Babe…”
“He’s an extra-extra tall, so…”
“I don’t care about the shirt.” He proved it by letting it drop to the floor. “Are you okay?”
“Are they coming?”
“No.”
“Are they mad?”
“Didn’t seem to be,” Billy said.
“Are you?”
“No, babe. It was Tom…and you already told me how your feelings for him are kind of jumbled. Knowing he’s gay made it pretty hot, actually.” Billy started kissing Erika’s neck.
“Really?”
He looked at her sheepishly. “No?”
“I blame Papa.” She turned away. “He sent Tom Alan to boarding school and then moved him out of the main house and up into an attached apartment to stay in during breaks at sixteen. Did you know that?”
“Yes.”
“One minute we were brother and sister—when we were little—and the next we were reminded over and over that we weren’t. I thought father was trying to foster our on-ice romantic chemistry…until he admitted he wanted us to marry.”
“I know all of that, Rika.”
“I think I need to remind you…or myself…that it’s not all my fault I can’t get over him.”
“Shh.” Billy pulled her into an embrace. “I get it. It’s not a big deal.”
It still felt like one to Erika.
“I think Tom thought I was going to rearrange his face.”
“Tom Alan. And why would he be? I kissed him.”
“Well…he must be feeling guilty about something.” Billy’s tone was light. “I raised my hand to scratch my ear or something and he flinched. ‘I’m not going to hit you, moron,’ I said. ‘Isn’t that how you straight guys react to this sort of thing, Bill?’ he asked me.”
“He did not.”
“More or less. Then I told him I wasn’t straight, and added ‘So there.’”
“You did?”
“Scouts’ honor. Seemed like as good a time as any. We didn’t have a big long discussion, obviously, but I said that much and then came to find you.” He raised her face to his by her chin. “Left them wondering.”
Erika looked into Billy’s eyes and smiled. “What am I going to do?”
“Come to bed with me, I hope.” He took her by the hand and led her toward the stairs.
“I’ll get over him. All of it.” They started up the steps. “I promise. Maybe Tom Alan leaving is for the best.” Still, it hurt her heart to say it. “If he goes.”
“Come on.” They were at the top landing.
“My room’s downstairs.”
Billy laughed. “Oh. I’ve never slept here. You still want me to?”
“Yes.” She led him back down. “Of course.”
Her silky robe fell open with one tug of its belt. Billy gently laid her back on the mattress and kissed his way up. The fuzz on his rugged face tickled first at her hip bone, then right against her vagina, adding to her excitement. His hair was still wet when she grabbed it in both hands as finally he pressed his mouth to hers and his hard-on found her opening for the briefest of moments. From her neck to her breasts, he journeyed back down. After working her to a warm, moist wanting, he knew just the right moment to ease himself inside. Her breath caught as his girth slid between the folds, rubbing against the most sensitive part of her, where he also circled with his finger. Erika moaned when he rocked against her gently. The pitch became higher, the sounds much louder when he thrust in and out. Erika had only been with two men in her life, but she knew as she shivered with Billy twitching and throbbing when they climaxed simultaneously, she would always be satisfied. Never once would she feel as if she’d missed out if she was never with the other one again.
“I owed you that from before,” Billy said. They shared the same air now, with their open mouths so close, as he continued to slowly grind against her and she tightened her hold with her legs on either side of him. “I love you.” His kiss felt like he meant it.
“Me, too. No more craziness,” Erika promised, molding herself to contour to his body, sealing it to hers with their heat. “From here on in, our kisses are only for each other.”
* * * *
By the time Milo came down in his usual lack of morning attire, Billy and Erika were already in the kitchen. “Good morning, Flower.” He kissed her on the cheek. “And you…” Milo mounted Billy, there on his chair, kissing him so hard he nearly toppled them both back into the refrigerator.
“Get off, Brit!”
“Did you?” Billy was grinning as Milo spun around and off his lap. “That’s how this works now, right? We just put our mouths on anyone, any time?”
Erika had listened through the vent on purpose once Billy was asleep. She hadn’t heard a peep. Either they’d closed their side off, now that they knew, or they’d slept apart—because of her.
“I get one free cheat with you, Hockey Puck, you and your coat hook willie. Tom Alan says it’s fine as long as he gets to watch.”
“That was it?” Billy asked.
“Oh no. I’m going to edge you for days, then let you explode in my ass with something big and fat up yours.”
Billy’s jaw fell open.
“If you’ve never come with penetration, you don’t know what you’re missing.” Milo peeled and went down on a whole banana, leaving its fleshy curve wet, but still completely intact. “Impressive, huh?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
“Want to practice, in case Flower lets you reciprocate?” Milo held out the banana. Billy took a bite. “Easy, Yank! No teeth.”
“Hey!” Tom Alan came in through the kitchen door then. His outburst made Erika almost overfill her coffee cup. “Are those my boxers?”
“You kiss my woman, I wear your underwear,” Billy said. “Them’s the rules, now, Tom.”
“Where were you?” Erika asked.
“I took Flip and Twizzle back to the apartment.”
Erika looked back toward the basement door. Sure enough, the carrier was gone. “Oh.”
“We really brought a lot of stuff over here. Are you packed?”
“Mostly,” Milo said.
Tom Alan got out a juice glass then turned. “You’re in my chair.”
Billy looked at him. “Are you serious?”
“Totally.”
“Come on.” Erika couldn’t believe it either, but Tom Alan didn’t back down.
“Sorry.” Billy gave in. “I guess we shouldn’t drink,” he said, as he settled into a different seat. “If you’re upset about the kiss, Rika was just—”
“You don’t have to explain Erika to me, Bill.”
“You woke up in a mood, love.” Milo kissed Tom Alan on his stubbly cheek.
“Are you mad at me?” Erika handed Tom Alan the orange juice jug.
“I’m not mad.”
“We should talk about it,” Erika said.
“We don’t need to.”
“Sounds like we should,” Milo suggested. “Everyone here understands the situation…the blurred lines.”
“My lines are crystal clear. It was the wine,” Tom Alan said, “and it won’t happen again.”
“Just so you know, your boyfriend was just riding me like a pogo stick cold sober.”
“Billy…”
“You tell me you’re not totally straight, Hockey Puck; I have to test the waters.”
“Yeah. What about that?” Tom Alan asked.
“We were playing, Skater Boy. You don’t really have your knickers in a twist over—”
“No, Milo. The ‘not straight’ thing. What’s that all about?”
“Been bisexual since my first boner,” Billy said, punctuating the statement by slurping milk off the spoon with his Cheerios. “That’s what that’s all about. What’s it to you?”
“Nothing sadder in life than missed opportunities.” Milo shook his head. “We shared a bed more than once and chatted while you brushed your teeth and I showered behind a see-through curtain many a morn. How is it possible, as many times as I fondled you in ways that would get me sued in the workforce, did this—or that—” Milo pointed down at Billy’s lap, “—never come up?”
“Somehow I resisted.”
“A true mate would have let me taste his cum before I became betrothed to—”
“All right, knock it off.” Juice splashed out when Tom Alan slammed down his glass. “This house has a child in it.”
“Not currently…and that child is mine, by the way.”
“Billy…”
“What, Rika? He’s the one starting in. I’m just supposed to sit here and take it? So much for being liked and having Tom’s approval, I guess.”
“Hangovers make him bitchy. No more drinking for you, Skater Boy.”
“He’s not bisexual. You’re not bisexual,” Tom Alan said.
“You one of those gays that thinks there’s no such thing?”
“Of course; he was bitchy before he even started drinking, so…”
Tom Alan shot daggers at Milo with his eyes. “It doesn’t come on all of sudden, Bill.”
“It didn’t.”
“Why are you acting like this, Tom Alan?”
“I could care less who he sleeps with, Erika, except when it comes to you.”
“I’m not sleeping with anyone else,” Billy said. “We’re together, like we were supposed to be. We never should have split. Not that that’s any of your business, Tom.”
“Tom Alan.” He stood, scraping his chair against the floor. “My name is Tom Alan, and if you and Erika were really soulmates, you’d know why the distinction is so important.”
Billy stood, too. “I do know. And I’m sorry I screw it up more than I don’t. But…wow. If you think the intimacy Erika and I share has to be wrapped up in something about you, you got one hell of an ego.”
“I don’t want her hurt when you decide she’s not enough in a few months.”
“Just because someone is sexually attracted to both genders, Skater Boy, that doesn’t mean they can’t be monogamous.”
“I don’t need a lecture on intolerance, Milo. I’ve lived through enough of it. And he looks about ready to pounce on you at any moment. It’s pretty obvious when all you have on is underwear.”
Billy looked down at his open fly.
“Well, if you can put your mouth to the flower, I can put mine on the stick.”
“Oh yeah. Infidelity’s real funny.”
“Infi…You’re really jealous?” Milo asked. “I thought last night we were fun fighting.”
“It’s not last night. And I’m not jealous…or biphobic either. None of this has anything to do with prejudice. This is person-specific.”
“Person-specific…Me?”
“No, Bill. Except for being Etsuko’s father, you don’t matter to me.”
“Tom Alan!”
“You don’t have to go back to him, Kiki, just because you think you’re out of options.”
“Oh my God!” Erika couldn’t believe her ears.
“Did you ever think the reason Rika couldn’t move on with someone else, the reason she has all this stuff in her head, is because even though you’re with Fisher, you won’t let her go?”
“I thought she couldn’t move on because you’re her one and only.”
“You don’t want her with anyone else, and there’s only one possible reason why.” Billy shoved his chair back with his foot. “You’re a selfish son of a bitch.”
Tom Alan practically threw his. “Screw you!”
“Enough! Both of you.” Erika got between them. One hand on each chest, she felt them heaving. “You’re acting like a couple of boors and it’s fucking ridiculous. Neither one of you are in charge of my feelings.” Their words pissed her off. Their attitudes were stupid. The way their exhales came loud and hard like two bulls about to charge, that was rather arousing. “If you can’t talk to me about what’s going on, you better talk to Milo, because something is really wrong with you, Tom Alan, and when you can’t let it out…” She thought about that damned Stephen Crane book and Tom Alan’s scars.
“A bloody twit, is what you’re acting like.”
“Now, sit and eat,” Erika said to Tom Alan. “We have training. You.” She turned to Billy. “Finish your coffee, then go get your own underwear out of the gym bag in the truck and get dressed. You have class.”
“Yell at me, too. What do I have?” Milo asked.
“A desperate need for attention. Maybe you retired from performing too soon.”
Billy was the first to break the rather long silence that followed. The microwave clock jumped ahead three whole minutes—no, four—Erika watched it. “Check this out. Remember when Thyme and Phil came up?”
The others looked up. Only Erika answered. “Yeah.”
“They were so impressed with Jesse, they hit up Melinda Helmer and now she’s got Kevin Katt involved. He works with the U.S. team and wants to see her.”
“An Olympic hockey coach wants to see Jesse?”
Billy raised the tablet for Erika to see. “Yup. Assistant to the assistant, but still big.”
“Good on him,” Milo said, stressing the word for Billy.<
br />
“Oh yeah. Sorry.”
Kyoko entered the kitchen then, with news of her own. “I must speak with all of you.”
Milo and Billy covered their crotches, even though one’s was under the table.
“Mother. You’re back so early.” Erika kissed her.
“I took the very first train. Relax, boys. It is nothing I have not seen before.” Kyoko put on the kettle.
“Something’s wrong,” Erika said.
“I have decided to turn you over to Irina full-time now that she is closer. You need her—every day. That is obvious. I shall go back to Japan.”
“Oh.” Erika looked to Tom Alan, who seemed to have nothing to add.
“She is better for you than I am. You should be farther ahead of where you are even after your time away. Irina agrees. More structure is necessary…less upheaval. One coach. A steady routine.”
“No,” Tom Alan said.
“Yes. I am leaving this evening.”
Erika was stunned. “For how long?”
“A while. I will miss you all and my baby Etsuko, but you will be over for NHK and shows. Back and forth. Take care of the home—the three of you.” She looked to Billy. “Maybe four. Where are the cats?”
No one answered.
It all sounded so permanent—and so sudden. If Kyoko had time to tell Irina Mischen, however, some of it must have been thought out ahead of time.
“It is not a sad occasion, Tom Alan,” Kyoko promised. “We are on planes all the time.”
“But we were mostly always together,” Erika said. “When Tom Alan and I traveled, you came with us. Now people are going to be in two different places all the time, not just once in a while. I’ll be missing someone constantly. Today…all of us…I was kind of hoping it was how things were going to be from now on.” She took Billy’s hand, and Tom Alan’s. Milo took his other one. “But you’re moving. Milo’s leaving again for work…and…and the cats…”
Kyoko stopped Erika’s tear before it rolled off her cheek. “Life changes, when we don’t expect it to, in ways we never imagined.”
“Ku areba raku ari. You sound like Papa.”
“You have what you need here. You don’t need me hovering.”