by David Connor
“I’m not sure. How do you feel about it?”
“I’m not saying I’d get right up in there, but the thought isn’t as yucky as it once was.”
Erika huffed. “Your powers of flattery need work, you British butt-monkey.”
“You don’t mean that,” she heard Tom Alan say.
“No. She’s stunning…and a lot more than that. I’d be nervous, though, now wouldn’t I, venturing into unfamiliar territory and all? I don’t know what in bloody hell is going on under those sparkly skating dresses.”
“You’re a doctor. You took Anatomy, Advanced Biology…” Tom Alan’s voice had a lightness, as if he was finally more at ease. “You studied sexuality and sexual variations, which I assume included polyamory.”
“You’ve been studying, too.”
“Just Googling terminology in passing.”
“Umm-hmm. Well, I also studied astronomy in primary school, love. That doesn’t mean I could get to the moon without a GPS.”
“Bill is our GPS.”
It was Milo’s turn to laugh. Erika did as well, into her hand.
“Though I found my way around pretty well on my own,” Tom Alan bragged.
Erika couldn’t argue with that.
“And could again.”
“You go, Yank,” Milo said.
“But I guess we would have to invite Bill anyway,” Tom Alan told him.
“I suppose. Well, we know Flower would be game. Let’s face it, the woman is obsessed with two willies in one bed.”
Erika couldn’t argue with that either.
“It goes deeper, Milo. I have to be totally honest. I do. Suddenly, the tension in Tom Alan’s voice was back. Imagining sex with someone other than you is bad…”
“Or not, Tom Alan.”
“Falling in love with someone else is…when I’ve already promised to love only you for the rest of our lives. I’m in love with her, Milo, just like she says she’s in love with me. Can we…can we survive that?”
Etsuko woke up then.
“Milo?” He didn’t answer right away, and Tom Alan seemed anxious.
“Come on, baby girl.” Erika immediately got up. “We should go.” She took Etsuko to her own room.
* * * *
As of eleven that morning, Tom Alan hadn’t yet said anything. Erika could only assume the talk had gone well, however.
“And stroke, and stroke, and hold, and turn…Up!” Irina shouted.
Tom Alan hurled Erika high and far. She was in the air, where she did four perfect revolutions.
“Land it!”
She did. And though she bent at the waist and almost put down her hand, it was the best one in weeks. Irina was all smiles.
“Yes!” Tom Alan beat his chest like Tarzan.
The magic was back, and Erika felt it.
Their practice was interrupted not long afterward by a visit from Jesse and his grandmother. “I shall leave you alone,” Irina said. Her friendly tone did not mask the look in her eyes. Erika had a feeling they’d pay for the disruption later on.
“Though I’ve heard a lot about you, and know who you are through the sports media—as a fan—I thought I should at least meet you before I entrust you with my grandson’s welfare.” Jesse’s grandmother was not at all as Erika expected, even after seeing her from afar. If the woman was a day over fifty, she took excellent care of herself. She looked like a mature fashion model or a veteran soap opera actress.
“It’s nice to meet you, Missus…?”
“Bingham. Allison.”
“Please.” Tom Alan offered her a folding metal chair. “Sorry there’s nothing more comfortable, Allison.”
“We won’t be here long.” Erika found Allison Bingham a little cold. Maybe she wasn’t the kind, put-upon woman who just needed a break after all. “I haven’t done anything officially yet,” Mrs. Bingham said. “This is all rather out of the blue. I understand Jesse had some trouble yesterday, and I won’t stand in his way, if he insists on transferring, but unless it’s absolutely necessary, I think it would be better if he finished his senior year where he is.”
“Gramma…”
“It’s bad enough you’re missing class right now. I know you two were only trying to help, but I wish you had encouraged Jesse to come to me before this was all set into motion.” It was a relief to hear Mrs. Bingham referring to Jesse with the right pronoun, but rather unnerving to hear her make it sound as if changing schools was all Erika and Tom Alan’s idea. “You know this boy who caused the trouble?”
“Yes,” Tom Alan said. The one word packed a ton of animosity.
“I spoke with Kensuke yesterday as well,” Erika said. Jesse’s demeanor seemed to change. “If that was the only incident Jesse faced…” She tried to regroup. “Bill and I…Mr. Wahl, Jesse’s hockey coach, we’ve talked about it, and though we would be happy to have Jesse, if it would be to his benefit, we’re not completely sure we’ve discussed the situation as thoroughly as we should either.”
“I thought we were going to confer on all of this stuff…four ways,” Tom Alan said.
“What exactly is the living situation in your home?” Mrs. Bingham asked.
“Well, there’s Billy and I, and Tom Alan and Milo…sometimes. Milo, Tom Alan’s partner is away a few more days. If Jesse comes, are you…?” Tom Alan frowned. “Well, that’s kind of up in the air. Billy and I have a twenty-two-month-old, Etsuko. My mother splits her time between Japan and the U.S., too—well, not anymore, I guess. Not as often. Oh. And we have two cats. They’re staying either way. I guess.” She looked to Tom Alan again. “Right?”
“I see,” Mrs. Bingham said. “Jesse mentioned three of you. He didn’t mention his hockey coach lived in the house.”
“We’ve recently reconciled. Billy is awesome.”
Mrs. Bingham just made a face, and Erika wanted to punch her.
“Gramma…”
“As for this boy, I know he and Jesse were once close. If he’s having an issue with Jesse’s transition, that’s his problem, not Jesse’s. They seem hell bent on protecting him, though, when it’s obvious he’s the one who should be removed. I’ll contact an attorney next if I have to, since the school board and the superintendent don’t seem to agree.”
Erika swallowed hard. The woman was a little bit terrifying.
“I tell you this,” Mrs. Bingham continued. “A gay teen can be a troublemaker, too, and just as he shouldn’t be treated differently simply for being LGBTQ, he shouldn’t be treated differently if he’s a pain in the ass.”
“Stop, Gramma. It’s not Kensuke’s fault.”
“It’s not?” Tom Alan asked.
“I want to go to Somers because of B-boy.”
“B-boy?” Erika asked.
“I met him online a few days ago…on Grindr.” Jesse slapped his hand over his mouth. It was obvious he hadn’t meant to share that much information.
“Grindr?” Mrs. Bingham asked.
“It’s a site where—”
“I know what it is,” she told Tom Alan.
“We want to be together.”
“I see. No. Go get in the car, please. We’re going to school—the old one.” Allison Bingham stood. “And give me your phone. It may take me all day, but that app will be blocked.”
“I’m eighteen, Gramma.”
“Not yet. And you’re not behaving like an adult, trying to get your own way by fibbing like a three-year-old.” Mrs. Bingham held out her hand for the phone.
“Gra-am-ma!”
“Give it.” Jesse did. To Erika and Tom Alan, Mrs. Bingham said, “I’m sorry you were dragged into all of this. Had I known it was about another boy…”
Jesse crossed his arms over his American Eagle logo and pouted. “You don’t understand. B-boy is great.”
“You know this for sure? After ‘a few days’? Well, if in fact he is, then you can see him outside of school.”
“Like, never,” Jesse huffed as he stomped off.
Mrs. B
ingham sighed once alone with Tom Alan and Erika. “Thank you for playing along.”
“No problem,” Erika said, though she hadn’t realized she’d been part of a ruse.
“My son, bless his heart, has wanted me to move in with him for a while. Jesse has him wrapped around his finger. I can’t speak to how easy it was convincing the two of you.”
“Not too hard,” Tom Alan admitted.
“I knew Jesse wouldn’t let me use Kensuke as a scapegoat if I pushed the matter. I still believe they’re special to each other—as special as it can get at their age. I actually like Kensuke. He’s been to the apartment quite a bit, all ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’” Erika had never met that Kensuke, even on his best days. “He’s helped me in the rooftop garden, lugged trash out, mowed the grass…He actually seems to like chores, which is more than I can say for that one.” She pointed with her thumb toward the door. “As long as I keep Kensuke fed, he’s a prince. Boys and men are simple to date.” Mrs. Bingham almost winked. “Just not to raise. I’m very proud of Jesse, though. You know when he changed his name, going just with the E?”
“When?” Tom Alan asked.
“In fourth grade. I was a Rick Springfield fan, from his General Hospital days. I was always talking about how the Jessie in Jessie’s Girl is spelled wrong. I guess my Jesse listened to me more than I thought. Finally, the announcement came last week, with all his hair on my bathroom floor,” Mrs. Bingham said. “I’d been waiting years, practicing pronouns. I might have slipped up the other way once or twice—he instead of she. Phew. I’ve been worried about Jesse following in his mother’s footsteps, petrified he would find his way into the sorts of things Amanda did. She was already lost by this age. I raised a very troubled daughter. What if I screw up a second time?”
Erika shook her head. She wanted to offer some sort of assurance, but she couldn’t come up with the words.
“So far so good.” Mrs. Bingham put her hand on Erika’s, to reassure her, it seemed. “I really do appreciate the guidance you’ve been giving Jesse. Please thank your partner as well. Jesse told me all about the time he’s spent at NYU and how much it has helped. Despite what Bill O’Reilly called you after the Olympics, I have a feeling you’re wonderful people who will make great parents, together or separately. Now.” She steeled herself. “I better get out there before he takes the car and runs off with B-boy.”
“Wow!” Erika said, once Mrs. Bingham was gone.
“Yeah.” He had his phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“Kensuke. To apologize, maybe. I’d like to at least hear his side of the story.”
“I already told you his side.”
Tom Alan bit his lower lip. “No answer.”
“He’s probably at school. I hope he is.”
“Two classes, remember? One before lunch and one after. And knowing him, he’d answer during either one if he wanted to. Hey, Kensuke, call me when you get a chance.” Tom Alan left a voicemail.
“I wouldn’t call you,” Erika said as he hung up. “You didn’t sound terribly friendly.”
“Thanks a lot. Maybe he’ll call Mommy then…or one of his other daddies. That’s how it works, right? That’s what Etsuko will do. Whenever one of us says no, she’ll just go ask the other three until someone says yes, right?”
“Probably.”
“And I’ll be the pushover, like I was with Jesse. God!” Tom Alan finally exhaled. “He played us big time! We suck at parenting.”
Erika laughed. “Speak for yourself. I was ready to tell Jesse no.”
“Yeah, right. Until he put on that pouty face.” Tom Alan made one. “Tell me no.”
“Ask me something.” Her heart rate increased. “Anything you want.”
Tom Alan looked away. “Never mind.”
“Back to the ice!”
“Yes, Mrs. Mischen.” There was no one else to go to in their case, no committee to beg for mercy, no pushovers. Irina Mischen was a Ukrainian dictator, and they were at her mercy.
* * * *
We landed the quad twice!” she told Billy at bedtime. “It’s as if Tom Alan was suddenly his old self.”
“Which is why he’s spending the night again?”
“Maybe he’s just hoping to snuggle up to you.” Erika did and kissed him.
“Invite him over, babe.”
Removing her nightie and deliberately dropping it to the floor, she answered with, “Ha-ha.”
“Nice.”
“Hey.” The covers felt warm and cozy. “We can bring Tuxedo and Mama over here, if you want. I’m sure they’d get along with the cats.”
“They’re pretty settled over at my parents’, I think. I had him in Lake Placid for a while, but he missed the big yard, so…One forever home is probably best.” Billy was quiet a while after that.
“Maybe we can rescue another one.”
“Definitely. Sometime soon.” Billy was somewhere else.
“Hey.” Erika brushed his arm. “Has Kensuke called you lately?”
“Nope. And I can’t believe Jesse pulled that. Geeze. We almost adopted a teenager so he could have sex in school.” Billy bent over to take off his boxers. Erika enjoyed the view. “I mean, sex at school is fun and all, but…”
“You had sex at school?”
“All the time.”
Erika barked out a laugh. “Liar.”
“Bible camp. Same thing.”
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in.”
“Rika!”
Tom Alan had the door open before Billy could move the two cats and get under the sheets. “Oh. Sorry. I’m feeling lonely. Milo’s on an overnight something or other again, so, we can’t…talk.”
“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Billy asked.
“You want to sleep with us?” Erika patted the bed between her and Billy.
Tom Alan sat on the edge—Billy’s side. It was great to see him more relaxed. “He had this case today that made him cry. Then I cried because he did.”
“Aww.” Billy rubbed Tom Alan’s bare leg.
“It’s sort of like a ride-along with cops. He’ll do some of that later, too, since he’s going into the criminal side of psychology.”
“Scary stuff.” Billy added a pat.
“Definitely. Scariest thing that happened to him during his ice dancing career was a bruised butt and torn pants. If Etsuko was awake, I’d be talking to her.”
“We’re a piss-poor substitute,” Billy said.
“Eh. Not so bad.” Tom Alan yawned. “Kensuke still won’t call back. Milo hasn’t heard from him either. Brat. Oh well. Not our problem, I guess. Not to be harsh…”
“I’ll see him at hockey tomorrow, maybe.”
“Well, if he shows up, since we’ll be at our rink up here tomorrow, tell him we said hi.”
“Happy to be your wingman.”
Tom Alan groaned as Erika laughed.
“I wouldn’t play go-between for that.” Billy punched Tom Alan in the thigh. “Downton Flabby would kill me if he found out I helped you cheat on him.”
Tom Alan shoved Billy playfully. “He’ll kill you if he hears that.” He smiled—sort of—when Billy gently pushed back. “Alright…I guess I’ll go. Not that I’ll sleep. A few minutes here and there. It’s weird how fast you get used to sleeping next to someone.”
“Me?”
“You don’t have to go,” Erika said. “We could play cards or something.”
“Strip poker? Bill loses.”
Erika wondered if Tom Alan had noticed her lack of clothing, even beneath the sheet, as Billy tried to pull the blanket over his lower half. “A movie?”
“Or just crawl in. Come on. If it’ll help you get some rest.” Erika felt suddenly bold. “It’s no big d—”
Brian Griffin from Family Guy singing “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time” cut her off. It was Billy’s phone, way over on the dresser.
“My little bro,” he said.
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“Go get it.”
Billy twisted his head back to shoot Erika a look.
“I can.” Tom Alan stood.
“No. Make him.”
“He’ll leave a message,” Billy said. The phone stopped. “See.” Then it started right up again. “Dang it!” Billy flipped back the covers and got out of bed.
Erika snickered. “Nice, huh—without pool shrinkage.”
“T-shirt and nothing else…one of my favorite looks on a man.”
“Take a picture.” Billy’s tone was all snarky and grade school, so Erika grabbed her phone and did. “Hey, Peanut.” A smile fought through, despite a shake of Billy’s head. “Everything okay?…Well, it’s kind of late and all.” It was 9:14. “I am not old!” Billy insisted. He paced as the conversation continued. He always paced when he talked on the phone. “Tutoring? Cool. Guess you got the brains I missed out on. How’s Mr. Schwabb been to you?” There was a beat. “He better. Oh. Of course. Come on up. I’m at Erika’s still. Yep. So far so good. So far so great, actually.” Billy turned to face Erika and Tom Alan. “Hopefully, yeah.”
Erika wondered what Peanut had asked.
“You sure everything’s okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am your big brother though, so don’t take that tone.” Billy laughed. “You eat mom’s chocolate cake with that filthy mouth?” There was another pause. “Yeah. We were in bed.” He laughed again. “Uh, no. Tom Alan was in bed with us, too.” Billy screwed up his face. It sounded as bad as he thought it did. “Alright. Knock it off, kid. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Bite me, Peanut!” Billy turned off the phone. “He says he has something important to talk about. He wants you two there, too. We’re all going to meet at your rink after school on Thursday?”
“Works for us. I bet he scratched your father’s car.”
“He’s gay,” Tom Alan said.
“Flunking Calculus and wants me to tutor him.”
“Gay.”
“Wants to become a priest.”
“He’s gay…and he’s B-boy.”
No one had a response to that right away. “You gays think everyone’s gay,” Billy finally said. He lifted his leg to scratch behind his knee. If Tom Alan got the same glimpse from behind Erika got, Billy may have exposed a far better view of himself than he had in the cellphone snap or in the pool.