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I stayed in my room all day. Logan never tried to come up and talk and I was glad that he didn’t. I just needed time to myself. Time to think. Before I knew it, the day turned into night and the next time I looked out my window, there was nothing but darkness. My alarm clock read 10:56PM.
Logan had to leave sometime soon.
Then I heard footsteps come up the stairs. “I’m leaving now. I’ll be back at six.” He said.
I didn’t respond and he probably didn’t expect me to. I watched from my window as his car disappeared down the darkened highway…
I tried and tried to get some sleep but no matter what I did, I kept having nightmares and waking myself up in a panic. I kept seeing Nick in a burning building with a child. I was there and he was trying to tell me something but all I could hear was, “The Bridge.”
After I woke up, I couldn’t help but think maybe this was a sign from him… Granted, I didn’t believe in ghosts or anything, but when your sleep deprived, you’ll believe just about anything.
The more I thought about it, the more goosebumps I felt.
When Nick proposed to me, he took me to an old part of town in the woods. He used to go there as a child with his father and it meant a lot to him. It was just a little wooden bridge that crossed a small creek in the center of the forest. He said his dad told him that his Great-Great-Great Grandfather built it with their father so they could explore the other side of town.
As I laid there in silence, I couldn’t get that off my mind. So, as soon as the sun began to rise, I gathered a few things and headed out the door. I had to go for a visit. The cool summer breeze hit me like a knife as I stepped out onto the porch. You’d think it would be warm, but here in Kentucky, it could be a hundred degrees one day and forty or below the next.
I went back in and searched for something long sleeved. I stumbled upon Nick’s army jacket and threw it around my shoulders. Before I left, I checked the clock once more.
5:48AM
Logan would be here soon, so I needed to get going before he could follow me.
It had been a few months since I had been out here and I was praying to God that I could find my way. There was a trail that led from the back of the house to about half way through the woods. Then it just ended.
I struggled a bit, trying to remember which way Nick took me.
“Come on, memory… Don’t fail me now.” I mutter.
For some reason, I had an urge to go to the right. So I did.
After walking 20 minutes or more, I finally reached an opening in the forest. The creek was right in front of me. But no bridge. “Come on, Nick… You wanted me here so badly… Show me the way to go…” I heard a rustling sound in the trees above me. A bird flew out, made a really weird sound, and flew to the right. “Okay then,” I mutter as I follow.
A few minutes later, my phone rang. I looked to see who it was.
Logan.
He was probably worried… Maybe I should just tell him I’m okay…
“Logan,” I answer.
“Caroline! Where the hell are you?” He yells.
“I’m okay… I just needed to go somewhere to think… Stay at the house… I’ll be back.”
“Too late. Your car was there and you weren’t in the house. So, I tracked your footprints. I got to the end of this trail and then I lost them. Which way did you go?” He asks.
“Logan, I’m fine. Stay there and I’ll meet you soon.”
“Caroline, no, I’m coming to get you. Now tell me.”
“Logan, I promise. I know where I’m going and I know how to get back.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes… I had some help along the way. But please just let me do this on my own.”
“Help? Who’s with you?”
I sigh, wishing he would stop asking a hundred questions. “No one… Physically… Just give me some time… That’s all I ask.” I add as I see the bridge coming up in the distance.
“Fine. I’m going to stand here for twenty minutes. Then I’m coming. End of story.” He adds and hangs up the phone.
Okay then…
As I step up on the bridge, I feel overwhelmingly calm… It’s like I’m worry free… Nothing matters. I walk to the center and stand facing the back side of the creek. Everything was so peaceful here…
Birds chirping.
The sound of water running over the rocks.
The smell of fresh air.
Everything is just so beautiful…
I cross my arms and take in the sweet smell of Nick’s jacket. “Well… I’m here… Like you wanted…” I say out into the open. Nothing happens but I feel as if I should keep talking… “I guess you already know that Logan was assigned to be my grief counselor…” The winds blows a nice steady breeze. “That’s what I thought… He reminds me a lot of you… Did you know that he lost his wife not long ago due to a car accident? He didn’t even get to say goodbye. He said he met you shortly after and all you wanted to talk about was me…” The wind blows again.
“What do you do? Control the wind?” I ask and it blows once again.
I nod slowly. “Okay… Then I would like to know something… One blow for yes, two for no… Agreed?” A cool breeze blows against my skin.
This was a little creepy…
“I’ll take that as a yes… When you saved those kids from that fire… Was it worth dying for?” A steady breeze was my answer. It was all I needed to know. “Don’t think that was selfish of me… I just would have felt better if I knew it was what you wanted…” I glance at the tree line. “Logan’s probably looking for me by now…”
Another breeze brushes against my skin.
“Can you see him?”
Yes.
“Is he close?”
Yes.
“He was supposed to wait…” I answer and sit down against the back of the bridge. “Before he gets here, I want to ask one more thing… Can I talk to you anytime?”
Yes.
“So, I don’t always need to be here?”
No.
“Thank you, Nick… I needed this…”
The wind surrounded me, almost as if in a hug. “Caroline?” I hear Logan yell. “Caroline?”
“I’m here!” I respond as he comes up on the bridge.
“You walked all this way just to get here?” I nod. “Why?”
“Didn’t Nick ever tell you about the bridge?” He shakes his head. “This was where he proposed. It was also a special place for him as a child.”
“Oh… Are you ready to go?” He asks.
I sigh and stand back up. “I suppose so.”
Logan leads the way as we start back to the house.
“I love you, Nick,” I whisper as three puffs of wind respond. A part of me knew that he said it back and that meant that this trip today was well worth it.
What Hurts The Most Page 6