Chapter Eleven
I heard everything he said. I know I shouldn’t be listening to him but he was kind of screaming and it was hard to just ignore what he was saying. I was shocked to learn that they didn’t support him in the army. What kind of parents were they? I mean, Logan is very good at what he does but not only that, he actually enjoys his job. Not many people can say that now days.
Logan continued to sit in the corner staring off into space. I could tell he was in deep thought so I didn’t disturb him. I just looked over to my nightstand and grabbed the book I had been reading. I picked up where I left off and silently read to myself…
“They’re leaving first thing in the morning.” Logan mutters after a few minutes.
I look up at him. “That’s fine…”
“What did they say to you?”
I hesitate before responding, “Honestly, they didn’t say much. I just introduced myself and then they just sat down after I told them that you weren’t in.” I look back down at the book and continue reading.
“Why do you do that?”
“Do what?” I finally give up and sit my book back on the nightstand.
“Not ask me a billion questions. You act like it’s none of your business and you completely withdraw yourself from asking anything about them.”
I sigh. “Because it isn’t any of my business. What happened between you and your family is between you and them.”
“It is now. You live here too and they had no right to talk about you like that.”
“Well, they did and oh well. I’m not going to go kill myself just because your momma doesn’t like me. Trust me, I’ve been through worse and you of all people should know that.”
“You confided in me, now it’s my turn.” He adds and stands up. I watch him carefully as he sits down on the other side of the bed.
“Oh, Lord.” I mumble.
“What?”
“You don’t need to tell me your life story just because I told you mine.”
“Yes, I do and you’re going to listen.”
Did he just give me an order? “Well, I got news for you, Captain, you may yell out orders outside of this house and expect people to jump every time you say something, but that’s not how it works inside.”
“Oh, really?” He smiles.
“Oh, yes. I rule in here. I give the orders.” He bursts into laughter. “What’s so funny?”
He tries to keep a straight face. “Nothing… Nothing.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, if you don’t want to tell me, don’t. I honestly don’t mind.”
“But I want to tell you.”
“Fine.” I sigh. “Go.”
“My parents only had two children. I was born first then Alex, but he was more of a surprise. I always knew my dad had a corporate job but I didn’t know much about it until I was in middle school. That was when my parents told me that I was to become a successful businessman and carry on my dad’s legacy after he was gone. I didn’t tell them that wasn’t my dream until my junior year of high school, they refused to listen to me and ignored me for months. I let it go and graduated high school with my wife. Her name was Julie and we had been going to school together since Kindergarten. We never really talked to each other until eighth grade, that’s when we began dating. My parents always liked Julie until I asked her to marry me. They didn’t think she was fit to be a business man’s wife, it was then that I told them I had joined the army. That was the last time I saw them until now.”
“So, they just gave the company over to Alex?”
He nods. “Pretty much and he ran it into the ground. Which is why they were here. They want me to fix it.”
“Are you going to help them?”
He shakes his head. “No way. They made a mistake, let them fix it.”
I look at my alarm clock.
10:28PM.
“So, where are they sleeping?”
“My parents are in my room and Alex is on the couch.”
“So, I guess it’s just you and me?”
“If you referring to sleeping in the same bed together, then yes, we are, unless you’d rather take your pick from three complete strangers?”
“I think you’re a keeper.” I add quickly.
He smiles. “That’s what I thought.”
I stand up, walk into my closet, and shut the door. I look for my PJ’s and only find two pairs. One is a tank top and short set with hearts and Sexy Stuff written on them and the other was a tank top and pant set with a cartoon dinosaur on them. I decided on the dinosaur and quickly changed.
When I walk back out, Logan is now shirtless and laying on top of the comforter. I do not make eye contact as I slip under the covers and grab my book. “What are you doing?” He asks.
“Reading, what does it look like?”
“Is that Barney?” He laughs, looking at my shirt.
“Yes, it is, you better not make fun of the big purple dinosaur, he may haunt you in your dreams,” I warn.
He laughs. “Yeah! Funny.”
“Chance it,” I add and look back to my book.
It remains silent a moment. “Caroline, I can’t sleep with that light on.”
“Then don’t sleep,” I smirk.
He glares at me. “What? I need sleep. If I don’t sleep, I’m going to be very cranky in the morning and you don’t want that.”
“I don’t see how that’s possible, as you’re already cranky.”
“Caroline.” He groans.
“Fine, I’m only a page away from finishing this chapter, can you wait that long?”
He sighs. “I guess.”
“Thank you.” I slowly continue on with my book, I actually get a few pages into the next chapter before Logan catches me. “Oh, no you don’t.” He adds and snatches the book from my hands. “Turn the light off.”
“Why should I?” I smile.
“Caroline, I’m not in the mood for you childishness.”
“Just answer one question. Why can’t you sleep with lights on?”
“I don’t know! I just can’t. Now turn it off!”
I cross my arms. “I most certainly will not if you keep yelling at me, Captain. I am not one of your soldiers.”
“Fine, I’m sorry, okay? Now, will you turn the light off?”
I smile and click the off button on the lamp before sinking down into the mattress. I hear Logan sigh and turn over, I can feel his breath on my skin. “Nope, nope, not going to work,” I add and sit up.
He groans even louder than before. “What now?”
“You are way too close to me, I need my space when I sleep.”
“Well, gee, I’m sorry, I’m not exactly a small person, I take up quite a bit of room.”
“Then could you at least face the wall. I cannot stand people breathing in my face.”
“Fine.”
I get comfortable again as Logan slides over. “Better?”
“Yes, very, thank you.”
“Could you remind me tomorrow to pick up an air mattress in case we ever have visitors? Because I repeat, this will never happen again.”
“Agreed.” I laugh as all goes silent.
Soon, I hear Logan snoring. Maybe this isn’t as awkward as I thought…
I was sleeping pretty soundly until I felt something heavy on top of me. My eyes immediately flew open and I saw that Logan had turned over and was now partially laying on me.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
He moved a little more until I was between his left arm and his chest. I’ll admit, I didn’t move right away. It was kind of nice not sleeping alone for once. But I almost felt like I was betraying Nick… Granted, I know that Logan didn’t have anywhere else to sleep but maybe I should have slept on the floor or something.
I looked to Logan who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I hated to wake him but shouldn’t I move? But on the other hand, he did have a rough day and I didn’t want to be the reason he woke up cranky in the morning…<
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I finally decided to just leave him alone. Maybe he’ll move back in a few minutes… I try going back to sleep but I can’t. I just keep watching Logan. I wonder what he would do if he woke up to this? Would he move?
I lightly elbow him in the stomach, he groans a bit but doesn’t wake up. I close my eyes and elbow him once more. This wakes him but I continue to pretend I’m asleep.
“Wow…” He mutters under his breath. “Caroline?” He whispers.
I don’t respond.
I expect him to let me go, but he doesn’t. Instead, he kisses me on the forehead and lays back down. I know I’m blushing, but I force myself to remain still until I hear him snore again.
Why on earth did he do that? Why wouldn’t he move? Or flip over or something?
My brain keeps telling me to move but for some reason I don’t. I lay there until I fall asleep…
The next time I wake up, light is coming in through the curtains. Logan and I hadn’t moved since I went to sleep. I quietly remove myself from his arms and stand up. My alarm clock says 6:01AM.
I open my closet and grab some clothes before going into the living room. No one’s here. I checked the driveway to see that the SUV was gone. Logan was right, they did leave. I go into Logan’s room and see that his bed is made and everything is neatly placed around the room as if no one had ever been there.
I go into the bathroom and take a quick shower. After I change, I go back out into the bedroom as I hear a phone ringing. I follow the sound and find Logan’s cell phone in the kitchen. The caller ID says it’s the General. Crap!
“Logan!” I yell and run into my room. He doesn’t move. “Logan!” I scream throwing a pillow at his face.
“God, what?” He asks, sitting up.
“Phone.” I throw it at him as he catches it and answers, “General?” I walk back into the kitchen and eat a bowl of cereal. The next time I see Logan, he’s walking through the hall in his uniform.
“When did they leave?” He asks, looking around.
I shrug. “I don’t know, when I got up at six, they were gone.”
“Good.”
“Where are you going?”
He sighs. “Office, I have a meeting with the General. Just curious, what are you going to be doing around lunch today?”
“Uh, well, I was planning on looking up some houses that are for sale in the area. Why?”
“Could you maybe take a break from that around noon?”
I nod. “I suppose, what’s the occasion?”
“Well, I was hoping we could eat lunch together, so we can discuss a few things.”
“A few things?”
“Yeah, ya know, the house and what not.”
My eyebrows furrow. “Oh, alright…”
“Good, be at my office at noon and print off any houses you’re interested in, I’d love to see them.”
I nod as he heads out the door. Wasn’t I supposed to remind him of something? I run to the door, “Logan!” I yell as he stops and looks back.
“What?”
“I believe I was supposed to remind you to pick up an air mattress today?”
He laughs, “Very funny, Caroline, very funny.” He adds and walks off.
I smile and shut the door. I guess I’d better get busy… I grab my laptop and sit down on the sofa. I check all the local real estate sites for any houses I’d be interested in, but I’m coming up empty…
Everything in my budget either doesn’t have a yard, only has one bedroom, or is completely outdated. I’ve been looking for hours and everything I look at just discourages me. I finally just give up and get ready to meet Logan.
I lock up the house and walk down the sidewalk to the office building. I check the directory on the wall and find Logan’s name. It says he’s on the second floor in office 3B. I take the elevator and walk into the office. A woman is sitting behind a desk. She smiles and looks up at me. “Would you be Ms. Woods?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, the Captain has been expecting you. You may go on in.”
“Thanks.” I knock and walk through the door.
“Caroline, right on time.” He adds and looks at the clock.
“So, what are we eating?”
“Well, why don’t we stop by the cafeteria, I think they’re serving Chinese today?”
I nod. “That’s fine.”
He grabs his phone off the desk as I follow him out.
“I’ll be back in an hour.” He tells the secretary.
“Have a nice lunch, sir.”
We exit the building through the back and enter the cafeteria, a couple of soldiers salute Logan as we get our food. “This way,” Logan says, walking through a door off to the side that says, Private. It’s a rather small room with a couple of tables and chairs inside.
“This is where we usually hold lunch meetings but the General said we could use it. Once everybody starts coming in for lunch, you can’t hear yourself think out there… So, show me what ya found.”
“Actually, I didn’t find anything. I looked all morning but nothing jumped out at me.”
“Then maybe right now isn’t a good time for you to move. We’ve only been here a few days. Get to know the area, then look for a house.”
I sigh. “I don’t know…”
“Just because there isn’t a house on the market that you like right now, doesn’t mean one might not pop up tomorrow. The housing market is very unpredictable.”
“That’s true.”
We eat in silence for a few minutes.
“Uh, there’s something I would like to discuss with you but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He says, without making eye contact.
“Oh, well, what’s the subject?” I ask, nervously.
“It’s about last night…”
I laugh, “Actually, I wanted to talk about that as well.”
“Oh, well, you first…” He adds.
“No, no, you.”
“Alright.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll just be completely honest with you. When my parents showed up yesterday, I wasn’t myself… I was kind of in shock and I just, I wasn’t me… I should have asked your permission before I just invited myself in. That wasn’t Logan thinking… Or at least, not you’re Logan. The little Logan that my parents once knew took over and the only thing I could think of was getting away from them. I never even thought about sleeping on the floor. It was like yesterday was a dream and I was watching it all through someone else’s eyes. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to be near someone that reminded me of who I was. And at the time, it was you.”
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, I knew you were upset about them, so I continued on the only way I knew how and that was to aggravate the crap out of you. But there was one instant that I was a bit curious about… I woke up during the night and… You were… We were-”
“I know.” He adds simply.
“But, when you woke up, I was awake. I was actually the one that woke you up. I wanted to see if you would move and you didn’t… Instead-”
“I kissed you.” He shrugs. “But it was just on the forehead.”
“That’s all?” I ask.
“All what?”
“That’s all you’re going to say?”
He shrugs. “Well, there isn’t anything else to say…”
“Why did you do it?”
“What? I don’t know. Guess it’s just one of those things you do in the moment… And I was half asleep…” I don’t say anything else, I just finish my food. “Is that what you’re upset about?” He asks as we start to throw away our trays.
“I just, I don’t know. It shouldn’t have happened. Everything about last night shouldn’t have happened.”
“You just said I didn’t make you uncomfortable and now you’re all upset over the fact that I kissed you… On the forehead, might I add?”
“I wasn’t uncomfortable, I just-”
“Oh, I get it! Yo
u aren’t mad because you were uncomfortable, you’re mad because you liked it!”
“What? I most certainly did not!”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know, Logan! Okay? I don’t know anything about me anymore.” I yell and walk out of the cafeteria. I needed time to think, so I took the long way home.
Was Logan right? Did I like it? I got so used to sleeping alone and being alone, I almost forgot what it’s like being around a man… Logan listens to everything I say, he cares about my opinion, he wants me to be happy, and it drives me crazy!
I hate to say it, but I don’t even think Nick did all that… I mean I loved him so much, but with him gone all the time, we never really had the chance to talk or have time to ourselves…
Once I got back to the house, I noticed the door was already unlocked. Logan must have come back. I walk inside but I don’t see anyone, so I continue on to my bedroom. As soon as I open the door, I see Logan sitting in the corner. He gets up and starts walking toward me.
Before I can say anything, he pulls me into him and presses his lips against mine. I become dizzy and melt into his arms. I want to protest, but my body refuses to listen.
“What the hell?” I say as he finally pulls away.
He smirks. “You want to be mad about something? There’s something to be mad about.”
“Logan! That’s so not fair! We agreed that there would be no awkwardness between us! Nothing was supposed to change.”
“Yeah, we also agreed that we wouldn’t go into each other’s room unless it was a life or death matter but that didn’t work either, now did it?” I groan and walk away from him. “Where are you going?” He asks, following me.
“Out,” I mutter and start to open the front door but he slams it shut and steps in front of me.
“Not yet, we need to talk.”
“We can talk later, now move.”
He counters. “No, now sit down and listen.”
“No, I’m leaving.”
“How is leaving going to help anything, Caroline? You’re just going to ignore me when you come back. I know how you work.”
“It’s not that, it’s just that there isn’t anything to talk about. I lost my fiancé and you helped me through it. I thought we were good friends.”
“What are you talking about? We are good friends!”
“No, because if we were, you wouldn’t have kissed me. Friends are more of a social matter, kissing is more intimate which is something friends don’t do.”
“Would you please just sit down so we can talk about this? Then if you want to leave, I’ll let you go.” He says with a saddened expression on his face.
Why does this mean so much to him? Why can’t he just forget about it?
I stare at him for a minute then sit down on the sofa.
He smiles and sits down next to me. “When I first met you, I couldn’t quite figure out why Nick fell in love with you. You didn’t show your feelings so how could you show anybody affection? You weren’t very social and you didn’t really need any kind of attention. You took care of yourself and I couldn’t figure you out. I couldn’t tell what you were thinking and it bothered me. Your attitude toward things kind of got on my nerves, but then it hit me. That night I told you about my wife was when I finally saw that you had feelings. You actually did care somewhere in there. That was when I realized why you annoyed me so much. It was because you are just like me. I was the same way after Julie died. I shut everything off, I might see it or even hear it, but I never let it get to me. That’s why I was such a good soldier, people were dying all around me and I didn’t even flinch. Until Nick died. That’s when I finally let it all back in and you were my first assignment.”
“I got on your nerves?” I ask, laughing.
“Yes, you did, but in a good way. When you agreed to come here with me, I was relieved. I knew that I eventually had to leave and I was dreading it. I was afraid if I left you alone, you’d become depressed. I was afraid that when I came back to visit, you wouldn’t be there.”
“Logan, you do understand that I’m not going to live with you forever. I am going to find my own place.”
He nods. “I’ll be honest, when you came to lunch today and told me you didn’t find anything online, I wasn’t exactly upset. I was kind of glad because that meant you could stay with me a little longer. But even if you did find something, you would at least be near the base and not a couple states over.”
I look around the room trying to gather my thoughts. Is he trying to tell me something? Am I just supposed read his mind? “What are you trying to tell me, Logan?”
He sighs and makes me look at him. “I know this is kind of sudden and you may not be ready for it, but I can’t put it off any longer. I care about you, Caroline. I know that seems wrong but I do. When I’m with you, I feel like myself again, which is something I haven’t felt since Julie passed. I didn’t tell you, but I found out who put on the memorial service at my ceremony. I almost fired him, but instead, I basically threatened him and as a person of authority, it could have gotten me dishonorably discharged, but I didn’t care. He hurt you, therefore, he hurt me.”
“You do understand that Nick died only six weeks ago… I’m not ready to for all this.” I shake my head and rise to my feet.
“I know, Caroline, I know, but you said it yourself. You left because you wanted to start over. You wanted to go somewhere where no one knew you and just become who you wanted to be. Why can’t that include me?” He asks, reaching for my hand but I pull away.
“I never said it couldn’t. You are my best friend but that’s just it. I don’t want to ruin what we have. Not only that, but I’m just not ready.”
“I understand… Will you at least tell me when you are?”
I nod and walk back to my room.
“I love you…” He mumbles under his breath.
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