The Unimaginary Friend

by Guy Bass

  Daisy struck a match against the box. In an instant, the flame flickered into life.

  “Daisy, what are you—?” Ben began. “Oh no.”

  “Oh yes,” said Daisy, flicking the match into the fireworks mountain. “I’d run if I was you.”

  “Gorblimey, go! Run!” Ben screamed as he heard the hiss and fizz of the fireworks. As Daisy vanished, Ben turned on his heels. He shoved the Gorblimey out of the front door and on to the pavement.

  BOOM.

  Ben glanced back through the open door

  filled the air as the fireworks exploded, emitting colourful sprays of sparks. Ben and the Gorblimey watched in horror as the fireworks continued to WHiiiiZZ and FOOOSH and KA-BANG!

  In moments the room was ablaze.

  “The twitch is never wrong…” said a clattering voice. Ben glanced behind him to see a pair of polished black shoes and thin, stocking-clad legs. He peered up, and Skeleton Keys glared down at him.

  “It wasn’t the Gorblimey!” Ben cried. “It was—”

  “I shall deal with the monster momentarily!” interrupted Skeleton Keys, striding past them towards the burning room. “But first let us get this impromptu inferno under control before it burns your house to the—AAARGH!”

  The last of the fireworks smashed through the front window. Skeleton Keys threw himself to the ground with a clatter of bones as the rocket exploded in mid-air, just above his head.

  “Crumcrinkles, it has been a while since I have been struck in the bony bits by a whippadeedooo! Not an experience I care to repeat,” Skeleton Keys said, crawling to the front door on all fours. He quickly pulled the door shut and dragged himself to his feet, brushing at the singed sleeve of his jacket. “This calls for the Key to Possibility! For anything is possible when the Key to Possibility makes anything possible – possibly.” Skeleton Keys inserted the middle finger on his right hand into the door and turned it with a CLICK-CLUNK. “It never fails! Usually.”

  Skeleton Keys swung open the door. Ben gasped. It was raining – inside the front room. Water poured down in gallons from grey clouds gathered on the ceiling, dousing the flames in a matter of seconds.

  “No way,” Ben said, watching, open-mouthed, as the rain fell in torrents.

  “See? Never fails!” said a relieved Skeleton Keys. As Ben edged towards the front door, the rain stopped as quickly as it had started, the clouds fading to nothing in an instant. Ben stood in the doorway, the last of the rainwater washing over his feet, then slowly made his way inside. The room was charred and scorched, and burn marks covered the walls, ceiling and floor. The table was upturned and blackened by fire, and the once proud matchstick pirate ship that stood upon it was no more. It had been blown to pieces, and the pieces burned to ash.

  Skeleton Keys and the Gorblimey followed Ben inside. There was a long, strange silence, without so much as the squawk of a seagull outside. At last, Ben whispered:

  “This is my fault.”

  “Flabberjabs! This unimaginary is to blame!” howled Skeleton Keys, rounding on the Gorblimey and pointing a key-tipped finger at him. “Ol’ Mr Keys was right all along – he is too dangerous!”

  “But the Gorblimey didn’t do it!” said Ben as the monster emitted a thin, helpless whistle. “It was Daisy!”

  “That is what they all say!” said Skeleton Keys. “Actually, no one has ever said that. Who or what is ‘Daisy’?”

  “My other imaginary friend! My first imaginary friend,” Ben explained. “I saw her at school … I actually saw her. She’s real!”

  “Another unimaginary? I have heard some tall stories but that is one you could climb,” Skeleton Keys sneered, eyeballing the Gorblimey. “You may have spellbound the boy with your lies, beast, but I was not born yesterday. Technically, I was not born at all but that is beside the point. I will not fail this family again! It’s Oblivion for you!”

  “But you can’t!” Ben cried as Skeleton Keys pulled the front door shut.

  “But I must,” the skeleton added, aiming his little finger at the lock. “And any door can be the door to Oblivion … even this one.”

  “Don’t!” Ben cried, grabbing Skeleton Keys’ finger. He grappled with the skeleton, trying with all his might to stop him from turning the key. The Gorblimey hooted, taking a step towards Ben. “No!” Ben shouted. “Get out of here! Run!”

  The Gorblimey shook his head, desperate to help and horrified at the thought of abandoning his friend.

  “I mean it!” roared Ben as Skeleton Keys edged the Key to Oblivion towards the lock. “Run, Gorblimey! Run!”

  The Gorblimey made a sound Ben had never heard before, like the desperate song of a lost whale. Ben howled one more desperate “RUN!” before his best friend’s groans gave way to a high-pitched whistle. There was a crackle of electricity and a moment later, the Gorblimey launched himself out of the window with a

  Ben watched his friend leap high into the grey sky and disappear into the clouds. All that was left was the echoing sound of his explosive bounce.

  The Gorblimey was gone.

  “Dogs ’n’ cats, he got away!” huffed Skeleton Keys as Ben let go of his finger. “But fret not! Ol’ Mr Keys will not rest until—”

  “It wasn’t him!” Ben yelled, tears streaming down his face. “I told you! I told you it was Daisy!”

  “Benjamin, I have been dealing with the unimagined since before your great-grandparents had great-grandparents,” explained Skeleton Keys. “I think I would know if there was another unimaginary on the loose. My twitch, lest we forget, is never—”

  Ben didn’t see Daisy appear from inside the fireplace. He didn’t notice the iron poker held tightly in her hands. He didn’t even see it swinging through the air towards Skeleton Keys’ head. What he did see was the skeleton’s head fly from his neck and through the air. The head collided with Ben’s chest before bouncing along the floor and skidding to a halt. Ben watched in silent horror as the headless Skeleton Keys slumped to the floor with a bony clatter.

  “Goes on a bit, doesn’t he?” said Daisy, flinging the poker to the floor with a CLANG.

  “D-Daisy!” Ben cried, unable to take his eyes off Skeleton Keys’ decapitated head. “What did you do?”

  “That’s nothing,” she said, her lopsided grin spreading across her face. “Wait ’til you see what I do next.”

  “Look what you did!” Ben howled, peering in horror at the disembodied skull lying at his feet. “Why would you do that?”

  “I can’t believe you’re ten – you still whine like a six-year-old,” Daisy tutted. “If I had a phone I’d report you to the crybaby police … and then I’d smack you with it.”

  “But you killed him!” growled Ben. Daisy shrugged.

  “He’s a skeleton, isn’t he dead already?”

  “That’s not the point!” Ben said angrily. “How are you even here? I didn’t imagine you … did I?”

  “You didn’t mean to, maybe,” Daisy replied. “But even when you forgot me I must still have been there, in some dark corner of your mind. Otherwise how did I appear on that beach yesterday?”

  “Is that … is that when I unimagined you?” asked Ben. “I didn’t see you…”

  “I was invisible, you soggy bog roll,” said Daisy. “Not that you’d have noticed anyway – you weren’t trying to imagine me, were you? You were trying to imagine him.”

  “Him?” Ben repeated, though he knew exactly who she was talking about.

  “Don’t play dumb, dummy,” huffed Daisy. “Fluffy McCandlehead … the big monstrous teddy bear that looks like you tried to draw all your sad feelings … the Gorblimey. How long have you two been a ‘thing’?”

  “Uh, since last year,” replied Ben. “But I didn’t imagine anyone for ages after we – I mean, after you decided to stay in the old house.”

  “I didn’t decide to stay, you decided to go without me,” snapped Daisy. “You decided you didn’t want to be ‘Bad Ben’ who answers back and starts fights and sets fires. You
wanted to hide away like a big crybaby and do nothing with your life except arrange birthday parties that no one comes to.”

  Ben winced at the thought that Daisy had been there at the house, an invisible witness to yesterday’s bizarre events (although technically it meant one more guest at his tragic party) – and then he remembered the words written on his wall.

  “You blunted my pencils,” Ben said as sternly as he could. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

  “Of course it was me – who else even knows you exist?” Daisy sneered. “No one, that’s who.”

  “I’m telling on you,” said Ben, clenching his fists in frustration. “This is all your fault! I’m telling Mum and Dad what you did!”

  “‘Telling’? What are you, six?” Daisy replied. “You can’t blame me for this, crybaby. You just said it yourself, I heard you – this is your fault. You made me – I’m all the bad things you ever did, and you wanted to forget that you ever did them. So you forgot me.”

  “I didn’t!” Ben cried. “Is that why you’re doing all this? ’Cause you think I forgot you?”

  “You did forget me! You never came back! One minute you were there and the next you were gone,” Daisy growled, her face flushing a dark grey as she looked Ben square in the eyes. “Well, now the Gorblimey has gone too – bounced all the way out of your life. Now you know what it’s like to lose a friend.”

  “Daisy, I didn’t forget,” Ben said, tears welling in his eyes. “You were my friend but—”

  “Pfff, like I’d want to be friends with you anyway,” Daisy tutted. “I’m going to get a new friend – someone who’s not a crybaby.”

  “Who?” Ben asked.

  “Don’t know yet,” replied Daisy. The sight of her lopsided smile immediately made Ben nervous. “But I know where to look – Oblivion.”

  “What?” Ben said, his eyes wide. “H-how do you know about that?”

  “I was here when this old bone-bag came knocking, you toenail – sitting in the fireplace, as invisible as farts,” Daisy explained. She craned to look over her shoulder at Skeleton Keys’ headless body. “Bone-bag was banging on about Oblivion, and I got to wondering who else he’s locked in there, in that big prison of nothing … who else has been forgotten? Then he said it – ‘After what happened with your dad.’ And it hit me like an iron poker on the back of the head. It all makes sense…”

  “What makes sense? What about my dad?” Ben asked. With everything that had happened, he’d almost forgotten Skeleton Keys’ cryptic statement.

  “Why do you think bone-bag was worried about the Gorblimey being dangerous? Just ’cause of his stupid twitch?” said Daisy with that smile. “Nah … he’s worried about history repeating itself. This is all about your dad, crybaby.”

  “I … don’t understand,” Ben said. “Please, tell me…”

  “You’ll see,” Daisy said. Her grin was replaced with a stranger expression. She looked like she wanted revenge. She leaned over Skeleton Keys’ body and began inspecting each of his fingers in turn. “Now, which one was the Key to Oblivion? This one? This one? Aha! Here it is…”

  Daisy grabbed the skeleton’s right index finger and twisted sharply. With a CRACK the finger snapped clean off the hand. She held up the finger and peered at it.

  “Daisy!” Ben cried. “Put that back!”

  “Time to find my new friend,” she said with a grin. Then, as she began to fade and disappear, she added, “After I’m finished, no one is going to forget me, ever again.”

  “Wait…!” muttered Ben as Daisy vanished. He stood there in the burned-out front room, dread and panic mounting as he stared down at the skull at his feet. Daisy was on the loose with the Key to Oblivion and the Gorblimey was gone.

  Ben decided he should probably find his mum and dad, even if it meant getting in all sorts of trouble. He turned to go … only to find his path blocked by a headless skeleton in a tailored suit.

  Skeleton Keys’ body was on its feet.

  “AAAARGH!” Ben screamed as the skeleton lumbered towards him. Ben stumbled backwards, tripping over Skeleton Keys’ head and toppling on to the soaked carpet. The skeleton loomed over him … then bent down and picked up his head. The jaw of the skull swung and rattled as the skeleton pressed it on to his neck. Then with a sharp CLACK the head snapped into place.

  “Where was I?” said Skeleton Keys. “Ah, yes – my twitch, lest we forget, is never wrong and—Wait, did someone knock my head off again?”

  “You – you’re alive!” cried Ben, scrambling to his feet.

  “It takes more than having my head separated from my body to cramp Ol’ Mr Keys’ style,” declared the skeleton. “Was it the Gorblimey? That fiend! Fret not, I shall—”

  “No! I told you, it was Daisy! Daisy!” Ben wailed. “She’s a girl with a backwards head who can turn invisible and hates everything and she’s unimaginary now. She knocked your head off!”

  “Daisy, you say?” he said. “Cheese ’n’ biscuits, what a dangerous unimaginary she must be. I knew my skull-ache was right on the money – the twitch is never wrong…”

  Ben slapped his palm against his forehead.

  “You got it all wrong – all of it!” he yelled. “Now Daisy’s gone and the Gorblimey’s gone too!”

  Skeleton Keys scratched his head, his fingers scraping noisily along his skull.

  “I suppose I might have got the wrong end of the twitch, what with this Daisy of yours being invisible and— AiEE!” Skeleton Keys squealed as he spotted the bone stump where his little finger used to be.

  “And she stole your finger after she knocked your head off,” Ben explained.

  “Dogs ’n’ cats, she is a monster!” cried Skeleton Keys, inspecting his stump. “I have been after the wrong unimaginary this entire time! What a saddle-goose! I was just so desperate not to fail you, after everything that happened with your father…”

  “What did happen?” insisted Ben, exasperated. “Daisy said my dad’s the reason for all of this. What did she mean? Tell me!”

  Skeleton Keys sighed. “Very well – but be warned, it is a hum-dum-dinger of a tale,” he began. “Your father had an imaginary friend.”

  “What?” Ben gasped. “When? Who?”

  “His name was Beardbeard the Pirate,” Skeleton Keys continued. “Your father imagined him on the eve of his fifth birthday. Beardbeard was a formidable rugslugger – strong, fearless and, as it happened, thoroughly unpleasant. Imagine all the anger you have ever felt – every wild, squally, crunch-foot feeling that furrowed your brow and maddened your mind … that was Beardbeard. He was nothing but trouble. Now, it is all very well having a trouble-chum when they only exist in your imagination but when they are suddenly as real as roof tiles, it can be an absolute flabbergaster! Sure enough, your father imagined his IF so well that he became unimaginary. But, when he laid eyes upon the unimagined Beardbeard, your father was terrified. He ran away in fear – ran and ran and did not stop running. Even I could not find him.”

  “He was scared?” Ben said. He couldn’t imagine the Gorblimey being even slightly scary … but there was no doubt that Daisy made him nervous.

  “To badden matters, Beardbeard then summoned his great ship and went searching for the one thing every pirate craves – treasure,” continued Skeleton Keys. “He destroyed everything in his path, starting with your grandparents’ home. Beardbeard reduced it to rubble and dust.” Skeleton Keys gazed at the space where his little finger used to be. “I was left with no other choice…”

  “The Key to Oblivion,” said Ben, the penny dropping as if in slow motion. “Is … is that what you did to Beardbeard the Pirate? Sent him to Oblivion?”

  “I had to end his rampage!” cried Skeleton Keys. “Since Beardbeard was obsessed with finding treasure, I tricked him into thinking he would find it inside Oblivion. I opened the door and the foolsome pirate disappeared through it. In the moment he vanished, every memory of Beardbeard vanished too. Your father forgot him in an instant. He rememb
ers nothing of his IF, or that fateful day.”

  “But wait, you still remember,” Ben said. “You put Beardbeard in Oblivion and you haven’t forgotten him.”

  “Yes, well, I am rather a one-off,” Skeleton Keys noted. “The problem is that while Oblivion erased your father’s memories, it could not erase his feelings. I fear that losing his memory of Beardbeard the Pirate has tied your father’s feelings in a bother-knot. He has spent his life looking for something he does not know he has lost.”

  Ben rubbed his eyes. Suddenly, his dad’s obsession with the sea, his precious matchstick ship, the constant moving from coast to coast, island to island – it all started to make a strange sort of sense. All this time, Ben’s dad was searching for his lost memories of Beardbeard the Pirate – even though he couldn’t remember what he was searching for. Ben remembered Daisy’s message – “You forgot me” – and a sudden sense of guilt began to turn his stomach. Maybe he had tried to forget her. Could he blame her for trying to find a new friend?

  “But wait – Daisy said she was going to find a new friend,” said Ben. “And now she has the Key to Oblivion. Do you think she’s going to—”

  “Swallow the key and run off to join the circus?” interrupted Skeleton Keys. “Just what I was thinking!”

  “Or maybe she’s going to open the door to Oblivion and free Beardbeard…” suggested Ben.

  “Exactly what I was going to say!” declared Skeleton Keys. “Enough chin-waggering – we must find Daisy before she opens the door to Oblivion and releases Beardbeard!”

  “But what about the Gorblimey?” asked Ben. “He’s out there somewhere, all on his own…”

  “Hat ’n’ gloves, Benjamin, your friend must wait,” declared Skeleton Keys. “Do you have any idea what might happen if Daisy releases Beardbeard?”

  “No,” confessed Ben.

  “Last time, he destroyed your father’s home. Why, he very nearly destroyed an entire town in search of his treasure. We must find Daisy before she uses that key,” said Skeleton Keys. He rushed over to the chest of drawers, and with a CLUNK-CLICK, opened it to reveal a void of blackness. “That-a-way!” he cried, pointing inside the drawer. “Do not diddle-dally!”