by JB Caine
“Well, but…” I realized I didn’t have a good answer. He was right. I’d been sitting around waiting for him to reach out, not wanting to make the first move. “I guess that’s fair. I can still hardly believe all of this. I guess I’m afraid I’ll wake up and it won’t be real.”
A cool wind full of whispers blew across the beach, giving me goosebumps all over my arms. He squeezed me tight again.
“So you’re scared.”
“Yes, Alex, I’m scared. I’ve liked you for a long time, and you didn’t seem to even notice me until a few weeks ago. I’m afraid I’m reading too much into things.”
“I noticed you. I just didn’t say anything.”
This took me by surprise. “Why not?”
“I’m not sure,” he shrugged. “I guess it wasn’t the right time then. Now it is.”
I turned to look up at him, and his eyes stared intently down at me with an expression, an intensity, that I’d never seen there before. He pulled me so close that I had to grip onto his shirt for balance, and then he kissed me with such ferocity and desperation that I struggled a little to breathe. The chilling, whispering wind whipped around us again, and Alex began to shiver violently. I pulled back, alarmed, and as I did, his eyes rolled skyward, and he fell back onto the sand. His shivering stopped and his eyes closed.
“Alex? Alex!” Panic rose up inside of me and I knelt over him, shaking his shoulders. “Alex, wake up!” I looked around me desperately, seeking help from someone...anyone...I couldn’t just leave him here, but our cell phones were in the car, and I didn’t know what to do. Had he had some sort of seizure? If I yelled for help, would someone hear me? I knew it wasn’t likely. Fear overtook me and I began to cry. “Help! Someone help us!”
The strange breeze blew through again, warm this time, making a sssshhhh sound as it lifted my hair in a dark halo around my head. I felt an awareness, a familiar presence.
“Selene! Help me! Help us!”
I have, answered the wind.
“What are you talking about?” I stood, defiant and also afraid, and faced the moon. I dug my toes into the sand. “What have you DONE?”
The small lapping waves before me shuddered with the anger coursing through me. I could feel myself pulling on the power of the sea, though it was several miles distant. All at once, a powerful gust of wind sucked in water from the Salt Run and shot at me like a cannonball, knocking me flat. My head hit the sand a few inches away from Alex’s, and everything went black.
I am floating above the gently lapping waves. Every thirty seconds, a powerful beam of light from the striped lighthouse passes through me, undimmed and unimpeded by my body. The pale light of the moon glows cold and distant above me.
Selene, I plead, what’s happening? Why are you punishing me? What have I done wrong?
Clouds pass before the moon, darkening its aura for a few seconds. Foolish child, do you not see the gift I have given you?
What do you mean? What’s wrong with Alex?
I feel the moon sigh. Have I not delivered to you your heart’s desire? He is yours, now and forever. No other can touch him. Was this not your wish?
I don’t understand. I never wanted harm to come to Alex!
No harm has come to him. He carries a moment’s passion into an everlasting dream of you. There is no other in his thoughts, and never will be. He is yours forever.
I begin to weep. My fault, my fault. This is wrong! He didn’t choose this. I gesture at Alex’s prone body on the beach, surprised to find that mine is still beside him. A deep-seeded fear bubbles up in me. Oh, Selene, did he never choose me at all? Is this your doing?
No, child, she chides me. This is YOUR doing. It is your power and your aura that draws him into your presence. I have simply held him in that state for you. Now he will never reject you, never leave you, never forget you, never betray you.
My weeping turns to wailing. My heart shatters. It was never real. His feelings were never his own. They were nothing but moon magic. Selene, help me. Help me undo this. He doesn’t deserve this! He should be...free… I know this means my living dream is over. That lock of hair, those eyes, his lips on mine...over, all over.
Selene does not understand my agony. She does not understand why I am not grateful. I can almost feel her shake her head at my naiveté and foolishness. I can release him from sleep, but the spell over his heart is not mine to break. It is yours, child.
I feel myself being pulled into the orb above me. Higher and higher I rise, until the light blinds me, consumes and absorbs me. I explode outward, becoming tiny raindrops of light.
I lay on the sand, eyes closed, as I felt the first icy drops hit my skin. I sat bolt upright in alarm. “Alex!” I turned toward him, half in fear, half in pain. He groaned and rolled on his side before pushing himself up into a sitting position.
“What the actual hell…” He looked around as if he had no idea where he was or how he got here. “Lia? Did I fall asleep?”
I choked back tears of relief and regret. “Yeah, yeah, I think we both did. We... should probably head back home. I have no idea what time it is.”
“Home...yeah…” He shook his head as though trying to clear the cobwebs in his mind, and slowly stood up. “Aw, man, it’s starting to rain…”
I nodded mutely, hoping the raindrops would provide good camouflage.
He reached down to where I still sat, offering me a hand up. “Dang...we’d better get to the car before your dress is totally ruined. It’s already covered in sand.”
I accepted his outstretched hand and stood, brushing what particles I could out of the velvet. “Are you...okay?” I asked.
"Huh? Yeah, I guess so. I don’t even remember being tired. I can’t believe I fell asleep. I’m okay, I just feel...weird. Like when you wake up from a really long nap, you know? And then you’re kind of screwed up afterwards?”
I nodded and snatched my shoes up out of the sand. We walked back to the car in silence, the beam from the lighthouse mocking me as it passed above our heads.
Thankfully, the next day was Saturday. I had no desire to get out of bed for the entire weekend, honestly. The ride home the night before had consisted of small talk about the party and another apology for falling asleep on the beach. There was no mention of the kiss, no mention of what had happened during the ghost tour, no mention of “us”. I was broken-hearted to think that any romance that had existed between Alex and me was the result of some hinky accidental magic. It explained a lot, really, especially the difference in how he had been in my presence versus when we were apart.
My phone had buzzed half a dozen times by 11 a.m., but I couldn’t bring myself to check it, couldn’t bear to look, knowing there would be nothing from him. I didn’t even want to look at my phone to play music, because then I would feel responsible to respond to any messages that had come in. At least this way, I could honestly say I hadn’t gotten them.
At 11:15, my mother came and tapped at my door, cracking it open. I mumbled something barely coherent and sunk deeper into my comforter.
“Honey, are you okay?” Mom asked. “It’s not like you to lay in bed so late.”
“I...just don’t feel too good, Mom. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you hung over?” She was careful with her tone, wanting me to be honest, but also potentially disappointed in me.
“No, Mom...I just...I don’t really want to talk about it, but I think Alex and I might have broken up last night. Like I’m pretty sure we did. I just want to lie here and be miserable.”
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry,” She came over and kissed my forehead, which was the only part of my body actually visible amidst the covers. I’m going to the grocery store and some other errands. I’ll bring you some cookie dough on the way home, and tonight we’ll watch a stupid movie and eat a variety of bad-for-us crap for dinner.
“Thanks, Mom, you’re the best.”
“I know. Boys suck.”
“Boys suck.”
“Can
I bring you up something to eat or drink before I go?”
“Just a drink, please; I don’t feel like eating.”
She kissed me again, delivered not one drink, but three, and then she was gone.
Around 12:30, I finally steeled myself and reached for my phone. As I’d expected (but hoped I was wrong), I had no messages from Alex. Three of the six messages were from Treigh, and the other three were social media alerts.
Hey girl what happened 2u last nite?
Did u and alex run off 2 somewhere romantic?
Text me when u wake up.
I groaned and texted back.
Sorry I didn’t say bye. We went on ghost tour. Started out great...went all wrong. I think we broke up. I don’t really want to talk about it yet. I’ll text later I promise. Xoxo
I knew full well that Treigh wouldn’t be able to survive without the full story for long, but I hoped this would buy me an hour or two. I was going to need a lot of strength for that conversation.
I dragged myself across the room and looked out the window. It didn’t seem fair for it to be such a nice day when I felt so incredibly sad and bereft. Pulling on some ratty sweatpants and a clean tee shirt, I resolved to try and “walk it off” before talking to Treigh. I trudged downstairs and out the front door, locking it behind me. This was definitely an expensive coffee day.
I shuffled down the residential street and toward San Marco Avenue and my favorite hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. There were a few people outside, and a few cars parked along the road. I felt oddly uneasy, a strange prickling at the back of my neck, and I quickened my shuffle to a brisk walk. I turned out of the neighborhood and cut through a hotel parking lot, heading to the familiar red door of Dotz, home of caffeinated goodness. I got myself a latte and thanked the trainee manning the register. The place was surprisingly empty for early afternoon, and I was able to snag a seat in the retro-style chairs in the back.
As I sipped my coffee, an unusually well-dressed couple walked into the place. It was clear they’d never been here before, because they seemed at a loss about how to order. Dotz is run as an occupational training site for the visually impaired, and so it works a little differently than your major coffee chain. The couple looked genuinely confused as they stared at the Keurig machine on the shelf across from the door. The girl who had helped me at the register approached them and assisted them with their order. After a couple of minutes, they were situated with coffees and pastries at a table by the entrance. I had watched the entire scene unfold with somewhat detached interest, and now I observed the couple from my dark and oversized seat.
Even though they were only a few feet away from me (Dotz isn’t very big), they leaned over their drinks and spoke in such hushed tones that I couldn’t make out anything they were saying. They seemed to be aware that I was watching them, too, because they kept casting furtive glances in my direction. I was suddenly self conscious and a little embarrassed, so I got up and made my way toward the door, exchanging goodbyes with the cashier on my way out. As I passed them, the couple fell into complete silence. The door clicked shut behind me, and I could feel their eyes on me through the large shop window as I made my way back across the parking lot and toward home.
Still a little unnerved by the attention of the strangers, I thought it might be a good idea to call Treigh on my walk home.
“Oh, my Jesus, girl. How could you drop a bomb like that and then wait this long to call me? I have absolutely dying for the tea. First of all, whatever happened, I’m on your side, and I am prepared to go nuclear-level petty on this man.”
“And I love you for that,” I began, “but it’s not necessary. It turns out that the reason he couldn’t ever seem to be bothered to call or text me was that I may have unintentionally put him under a spell.”
A pause. “Say what now?”
“Um, yeah…” I told him the whole story from the beginning, starting from our departure from the party to the ghost tour, to the passionate kiss on the beach which led to a near-coma and a close encounter with the goddess.
“I didn’t think it was possible for me to be at a loss for words, but here I am,” he said when I finished the whole roller coaster-y tale.
“And now I’m all weird and paranoid, apparently. I walked to Dotz for coffee, and managed to convince myself that this couple was stalking me. I’m a hot mess.” I arrived back home and let myself in.
“Do you want me to come over?” he offered.
“If I’m totally honest, Treigh, I really just want to crawl into bed and blast H.I.M. through my earbuds and pretend this world doesn’t exist. I’m walking a line between being mortified and being miserable, and I’m crappy company.”
“You never need to put on a face for me, Lia. But if you really just want to be by yourself, just remember that I’m one text away. I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and come eat all the junk food your mom is bringing home.”
That pulled a smile out of me. “You’re a real pal.”
“Aren’t I, though?”
“All right, I’m gonna go be morose now. I love you.”
“Love you too, my gothic goddess. Text me later so I know you’re doing okay.”
“I will. Bye, Treigh.”
I made my way back upstairs, and forced myself to take a quick shower before burrowing back under the covers with my vampire music. My mom got home a couple of hours later, heavily laden with Cheetos, Ben & Jerry’s, and an unreasonably large tub of Nutella. Two thousand calories and an Adam Sandler movie later, I was still sad, but I had reached a level of acceptance about the entire situation involving Alex.
What I wasn’t at peace about was how my new abilities had manifested themselves without any intention on my part. I had to learn to control it better, and the only one who could really help me with that was Aunt Kitty. I needed to talk to her and find out what she could tell me about Selene and all the side effects that came with ownership of the Moon card.
Chapter 16
I used the excuse of having to return the grimoire as a way of justifying my sudden trip to visit my great aunt. Mom hastily agreed; I think she really wanted it out of the house. She seemed confused as to why I wanted to go alone, but agreed, making me promise to call when I arrived and when I was leaving to head home.
I pulled into the gravel driveway to find Aunt Kitty singing to her herb garden as she pruned the bushes. She greeted me effusively.
“I’m thrilled to see you, dear, but I hope this doesn’t mean that your newfound powers have caused any harm?”
I hugged her. “I guess it depends on what you mean by harm,” I replied. “I feel like there’s so much I don’t know, and I’m afraid of what I may be doing accidentally.”
“Come on in, honey. I’m glad you came to talk to me about it.” We went inside and sat in the front room with all the random tchotchkes. “Now, what’s been happening?”
Even summarizing the last couple of weeks took me nearly ten minutes. When I finished, her face was calm, but stern.
“It’s really dangerous to let you go on without proper training, I think. But it would strike your mother as incredibly odd if suddenly I was showing up at your house every week.”
“Did you have all this same stuff happen to you? How did you deal?”
“Well, I was older, for one, so it was a little different. And I also had some training, so I was better prepared. It’s time you had the same. Let’s start at the beginning. Let’s list every phenomenon you’ve experienced so far.”
“Well, it started with telekinesis…”
“Wrong. It started with channeling moon energy.”
“What?”
“The night of the play. I tried to tell myself it was some special effect that you rigged up, but when you drew down the moon, I think you actually drew it into yourself. That’s why you glowed.”
“Wait, what? Shouldn’t it have been drawn into the card?”
“No, Lia, the card doesn’t draw IN moon energy, it RADIATES it. Th
e card is tied to Selene herself. When you cast that spell, the combination of life energy from your blood and moon energy from the card drew power from Selene directly into YOU.”
“So what’s the consequence of that?”
“I can’t say. I never did that. But binding yourself directly to the goddess likely amplified whatever natural power our bloodline already carries. So everything you do will be stronger, and since you are bound to her, the stronger you are, the stronger she becomes. Theoretically.”
I stared at my aunt. I didn’t know what to say to that.
“So the next power you manifested, then, was the ability to communicate directly with Selene. That makes sense, and she will probably want to keep that bond, so that’s why you’ve heard from her regularly. Then came the telekinesis, the glamour, and the ability to influence the feelings of others. These abilities are filled with temptations as well as dangers.”
“So tell me what to do? How do I start learning to control it?” The desperation in my voice was growing.
“You’re going to need to learn to meditate and visualize, I think. I agree that control is priority one; but then you’ll need to learn how to deal with these powers emotionally, and most importantly, ethically.”
Aunt Kitty gathered a few items from the house; a cup of water, a bowl of salt, incense, and a candle, and led us through the sliding glass doors and into the private garden in the back of the house. I hadn’t been out here much, not at all in the last few years, but now I was looking at it with fresh eyes.
Neatly swept earthen paths were arranged like eight spokes off of a central point. The paths were dotted with white and gray gravel, labeling the cardinal directions. The center was an elaborately decorated birdbath filled with hand-painted stones. The stones themselves were colorful and exotic: mandalas and celestial symbols and runes. Aunt Kitty arranged the items carefully and deliberately amongst the colorful rocks. An altar. This was an altar. The revelation shocked me for some reason. She sat on one side of the spoke representing the direction of east, and indicated that I should sit beside her on the other side of the line.