I still thought about him sometimes, wondered if he had found someone else to make his mate. Or if he was out there somewhere, looking for me. I didn't have the heart to go searching, not wanting to be met with disappointment and heartache. It was just better off not knowing.
"So you write most of the lyrics." I decided to change the topic of conversation to steer my thoughts and to keep him from running away. I had played with his emotions enough for tonight.
"Yeah. It keeps me grounded with all the stress of everything," he replied, satisfied with the guitar's strings and gently set it to one side. With his hands empty, he didn't have anything to distract himself with and folded them in his lap. His eyes still couldn't meet mine, however.
"I have never been good at writing poetry. They are not really that different from each other, I take it?"
"Depends on what you are writing and why. For me, they are not that different. Xavier likes drinking himself into a stupor, Jasper likes responding to the fans, keeping the business side of things in check...and I like to write."
"And that's why our songs are such big hits!" Xavier appeared behind Landon and clapped him on the back. Jasper wasn't too far behind, his hands shoved in his pockets. Our conversation was cut short with their interruption, much to the slight disappointment I saw in Landon's expression. I should have asked them to come back later, but I didn't want to appear rude. I would have to find some more personal time with him later.
"Th-thanks..." Landon muttered and scooched to one side so that Xavier could sit between him and me. The tattooed bass player looked much different without any makeup on his face, his eyes looking much more tired than I had expected. The hint of alcohol on his breath told me he had likely just woken up from a hangover.
"So, baby doll, you in for the night of your life?" he asked with a wink, his hand taking mine. With his wide smile, I could see his canines glistening in silver. Those were definitely new.
"Depends on what you are going to put me through," I returned, with a quirked eyebrow of my own. He was definitely more forward than his bandmate, with a playful personality that was much easier to flirt with. But that meant nothing without substance. I wasn't going to jump headfirst into something that seemed only temporary.
What was I thinking? Why was I already considering a relationship when I still barely knew them? I quickly shook the thought from my head. Their little magic was working a little stronger on me than I had anticipated. Perhaps because I had been away from my own kind for so long that I had forgotten how much control was needed to stop from throwing myself at their feet.
The yearning scent, however, was practically oozing off him that was difficult to ignore. I tried to suppress my own, burying it deep within myself before he caught wind of it. But there was only so much one could do to suppress their own nature. I decided to steer the conversation toward a safer topic and give my hormones a rest.
"So you guys play here every weekend?" I asked after clearing my throat and retrieving my hand from Xavier's grasp.
"Yup! The owner of the place pays us in drinks since we keep the crowd happy. Not that it matters, we are not really in this for the money anyway." He leaned back, not looking at all perturbed that I was rejecting his advances. With all the ego that he had, he was probably already formulating another plan to get me into his bed.
I stamped down the flash of my dream's imagery before I lost myself in it.
"Yeah, we get all of that from the other concerts that we do. We sell a lot of merch and autographs." Xavier thumbed over to a simple table over to one side of the stage that was laden with posters and t-shirts.
"And the small crowd?" I asked. Looking around the room, it was no bigger than my living room, if you took all of the furniture out.
"So that we can really cut loose and use our powers without things going crazy. We have to hold back during the bigger gigs so that we don't end up with a riot on our hands. And only the elite are allowed in here. Less chances of fistfights that way."
"Though we don't really know why. My guess is they are full of so much ego that–"
"Jasper!" Landon exclaimed under his breath.
"What? It's just a hypothesis. They do seem less affected than people of other social statuses..."
I had never noticed that before. But I had never played for celebrities before either, so I had no real way of knowing whether that was true or not.
"It doesn't mean we have to talk about them like that. They are still people." Landon huffed, his mood souring. He must really care a lot if he got this upset, and it was a little touching.
"People beneath us," Jasper replied coldly. "If they knew what we were, they wouldn't hesitate to put us down. Why should we give them any kind of respect when they have played a hand in reducing our numbers?"
I couldn't argue with that. The humans’ natural fear of wolves had led to a large culling of many packs, making it even more difficult for us to maintain our numbers. I could understand where he was coming from, even understand his anger, but I had never felt that way toward mankind. I was fearful of them more than anything.
Jasper must have smelled that hint of fear on me because his eyes were drilling right through me. The other two looked back and forth between us, the tension rising. I didn't come here for a lecture and raised a question of my own before Jasper spoke his mind.
"So the Fat Bastards, huh? That's, like, the worst band name for you guys."
"Keeps us in the dark, you know?" Xavier breathed a sigh of relief, jumping on the welcoming question to rid the bad air between us. "You hear 'Fat Bastards,' we are not the ones you really expect."
"It's kind of hard to keep that mystique around now that you are so famous," I said. "Ever thought of changing the name?"
It was then that someone from the back came on stage and touched Jasper on the shoulder.
"Five minutes," was all the stagehand said before disappearing again. The three gave each other a look, nodded, and started leaving the stage. But not before Landon gave my shoulder a squeeze.
"Don't...think too badly of Jasper. He has been through a lot since leaving. It...takes some time for him to open up. Give him a chance, huh?"
"I make no promises," I returned with a smile and shake of my head. I didn't know what to make of his advice. I hadn't gotten the chance to speak with Jasper one-on-one, so I couldn't exactly say one way or the other if I liked him beyond his looks. Maybe Landon was just trying to keep the peace or saving my feelings from being hurt by Jasper's words.
"And...uh..."
"Something wrong?"
"No..just..." He looked nervous as he pulled a gum wrapper out of his pocket and started scribbling on it with a pen. He folded it neatly and handed it to me, looking even redder than he had during our conversation.
"It's...it's my phone number. You don't have to keep it if you don't want to, I'll completely understand. It's not like we're–"
"Landon. It's fine. Thank you," I said as I tucked the small piece of paper into my purse. I had to stop his rambling before he started to faint. He seemed to appreciate that, and quickly hurried backstage to join the rest of his band.
"What was that all about?"
I almost jumped out of my skin, having completely forgotten that Madeline had come along with me.
"How long have you been there?!"
"Long enough to see you talking to lover boy over there. He was giving you the googly eyes...dunno what to make of the other two, though. The tattooed one seems like a firecracker, and the singer..." Her mouth twisted to one side, her outstretched hand flipping to one side and then the next.
"Yeah...I don't know what to make of them either...but we're not here for that!" I tugged down on the edges of my jacket and resumed my "professional" demeanor. "We're here to watch a show, not scope out boys."
"Uh huh, sure we aren’t. I see the sparks flying between you and them. Something is going on. Hopefully not some scandal on the cover of every newspaper in town. You are a handful a
s is. I could do without the responsibility of damage control."
"Ha, ha. Very funny. Trust me, there is nothing going on."
Not yet, anyway. Nothing solid I could put my finger on. That remained to be determined...and fully in the court of the Fat Bastards.
8
Madeline and I waited with anticipation near the back of the room. I had suggested we sit near the front, but there was already too many people near the stage and Madeline wanted more than just a little elbow room. I was a little disappointed, but it made sense. If the Fat Bastards were going to turn on their charm it was probably for the best that I didn't sit that close to them. I hardly expected Madeline to be able to keep me under control if I got a little...out of hand.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience tonight." The female voice over the PA sounded cheerful enough, and everyone around the room seemed to straighten up at her announcement. As if they were preparing themselves for the long-awaited show.
"Some of you are no strangers to them, but for the newbies, you might want to strap yourselves in. This show promises to be an experience you will never forget. Now put your hands together and join me in welcoming the Fat Bastards!"
The room erupted immediately, with applause, hoots, and hollers that made even my ears ring. I had never received a welcome like that before, and the room was abuzz with adrenaline. It smelled like the air after a lightning storm, like a flurry of angry wasps surrounding a victim. It made my skin tingle and I gripped the edge of my seat to stop myself from joining them.
With that announcement, Jasper was the first to step out from behind the curtain, wearing something entirely different from the sweatshirt and jeans he had been wearing during our conversation. He had on a black leather vest, no shirt, and leather pants. A single chain hung around his neck and I thought I spied a little highlight on his cheeks to add to the image.
Xavier was next, looking more familiar with his face all done up with mascara and black eyeshadow. The mesh shirt was also familiar, and a red choker around his neck. He wore denim shorts instead, with blue high tops and no socks. Definitely an eclectic sense of style.
He easily found me near the back of the room and blew me a kiss. I felt my lip curling slightly at the fawning women around me, believing that they had been the intended target. Which was fine by me.
Landon was last and took a seat behind his drums so quickly, I didn't get the chance to see what he was wearing. He definitely looked a lot more comfortable behind his drums, his sticks spinning between his fingers as he waited for the cue to start.
"Thank you for coming out tonight," Jasper rasped into the microphone. His forced smile sent a shiver down my spine, his earlier remarks leaving me cold once more. There must be some reason he was like that, why he held such an opinion of humans, but now wasn't the time to pick him apart.
"We've decided to go a little old school tonight and play a song from one of our very first albums. Please enjoy the show." Jasper replaced the mic in his stand and turned to his bandmates. They both nodded before Landon counted out a four-beat with his drumsticks.
The air was torn apart by the single strum of Xavier's bass guitar, the notes deep and reverberating within my chest. It was soon replaced by another and then the drums kicked in with a savage beat that lit the room up. A scream erupted from somewhere near the front and I saw someone throwing their hands up in the air.
Paid your bail, it's much too loud
You wanted to be a rock 'n' roller
Scream all night drinking champagne
Jasper's voice was smooth yet deep, pulling on the baser instincts within me, calling to my wolf. His eyes drifted across the room and I could see the crowd respond in waves. They remained in their seats, but they all wanted to climb onto that stage and give in to the demands of their bodies. The air was permeated with their scents to the point of overpowering, but they meant nothing to me. The three men on stage were all I could focus on.
Jasper worked the microphone and the stand with expert hands as if he were slow dancing with a woman unskilled in the art. He dipped it into a bow, held it close to stop it from falling. His shaggy brown hair fell over his eyes as he continued to croon.
Said you're sick, you're obscene
Clean your claws a little more
You're better off than hanging
As he moved around the stage, I could tell he was getting into his music. His presence demanded attention as he swayed his hips and threw open the flaps of his vest. Very unlike the detached, serious person I had been talking to earlier. What was it about the music that brought out this side of him? Or was it just another facade he wore to keep the crowd believing he was just like them, a human who loved the limelight?
So agonized no one hears you speak
Do you still remain
Come back
The beat of the drums grew to a fevered pitch and I couldn't help but stand from my seat as the song spilled into the chorus.
I was in disguise, and in your hands
Your heart beating blood from an ordinary
Wish you could have it in rhythm
It is the moment of truth
Something came over me at that moment, watching the three men perform on stage. Jasper's voice had such a soothing, raw quality to it that seemed to work its way under my skin and grab me by the nerves, leaving me unable to move. He knew how to use his voice to its fullest potential, the notes resonating throughout my body. And when his eyes met mine for a brief second, I could tell he knew what he was doing. This wasn't a game to him, this was work. This was his means to survival, and he wasn't going to let anyone take it away from him.
It was that drive that drew me in even deeper and added even more mystery to his character. I wanted to peel back the layers and see what lay beneath his anger for humans. I wanted to see why he chose singing of all things, why he was so serious about life, what had happened in his past that made it difficult for him to smile, especially for someone so young. All questions I wanted to ask, all questions that would have to sit at the back of my mind to be answered at a much later date.
Just watching him, however, I could read the intensity in his body. Whatever he put his mind to, he did with everything he had. In reading up on them last night, I had never once found him with a female companion. Many of those articles speculated he swung the other way, but I didn't get that from him. The shortest and youngest member of the band had his mind set on more important things, and a relationship would only be a distraction. Or was it his hatred for humans that kept him single? Not wanting to risk anyone learning his secret and taking action against his kind. Either way, I was eager to learn more about him.
Xavier was the wildest of them all; he was leaping about the stage, strumming his guitar with such fervor it was hard to keep track of him. His tongue hung out of his mouth as he strummed chord after chord, performing splits on the stage, cradling the guitar against his chest as he bent over backward...he was performing a veritable gymnastics show that definitely showed his flexibility. I wanted nothing more than to get on that stage and dance with him, feel his body as close to mine as was physically possible, and experience every taut muscle within him. I wanted to feel his hands on my body, I wanted to feel his lips against mine, I wanted his eyes to see nothing else but me, and I wanted him to whisper dirty nothings into my ear until I melted into a puddle on the floor.
I could see why he was the most popular of the group, always forward with his words that there was no room for confusion. In some ways, that was a blessing; being forward meant one knew exactly what he wanted out of a relationship. In other ways, that could get his band in trouble if he wasn't careful. So far, he hadn't crossed that line—probably kept in check by Jasper—and I wanted to see what he was capable of with someone who knew his secret. I wanted him to reveal the rest of himself to me, both physically and emotionally.
Landon was behind them all, lost in his own world as he pounded on the drums. He was still something o
f a mystery, his shy awkwardness serving as a barrier, keeping me at bay. But from what he had said earlier, his mind seemed beautiful, especially with the lyrics being belted out to the tiny room. Watching him play was like poetry in motion, his eyes closed, and short hair stuck to his sweaty forehead.
He was lost in his own world, focusing on the music and adjusting the tempo to match the changes from bridge to chorus. Adaptable without being forceful. He knew how to accommodate the needs of those around him, to find an even ground everyone could play on. It was hard not to be drawn to that, to someone who had others’ interests at heart before his own. He served a different kind of need, one of the mind. An empathetic soul to provide comfort in those right moments, to hold you and let you cry, or to offer a kind word to make you smile. I was sure once I got past his layers of shyness, I would find a striking man with tender words and an even more tender heart.
There was a deeper meaning there in the song, one I could find easily and understand. It was a song that spoke of their wolves—and of mine as well—and the isolation they felt in this strange world. The truth they hid behind these generated personalities, the lies told to keep ourselves safe...they were singing the very thoughts I had kept buried in my chest for months, and Landon had put those thoughts into words that were being belted out to the world. So obvious yet so vague for the humans’ ears...if only they knew.
They got to the chorus again and the song was even more intense. I didn't have to look at Madeline to know she had fallen under their spell. I could practically smell it on her, that eager willingness to do anything they asked. I was entranced too, and if it was affecting me this badly, it was probably a hundred times more potent on the normal humans in the room. I wanted to grab her and snap her out of it but to do so would let her know that something was off. Then I would find myself in a hole I couldn't explain my way out of. So I let her be. It would all be over once the show ended.
Loved by the Alpha Wolves Page 6