Chasing Bliss

by Sophie Oak

  “My name is Cade, Gemma. And I try not to leave Jesse alone. He tends to get into trouble.” Cade slid into the seat beside Gemma.

  Thank god. He’d worried Cade would stay away, but he’d pulled his sneaky moves and crowded her from the other side.

  And Gemma was right back to looking a little like a deer in the headlights.

  “How about an iced tea for me?” Cade told Zane.

  Gemma took a long breath and seemed to gather her wits about her. “I would have thought you were a beer guy, Cade.”

  He turned to her, smiling slightly. “I like a beer from time to time, but I think I need all my faculties to deal with you, baby.”

  She knocked back a third of her drink, giving Cade a jaunty smile. “Well, I think I can handle you with one hand tied behind my back.”

  Cade whistled. “I would watch it, baby. You start talking about rope and Jesse over there is likely to give you a demonstration. It won’t be just one hand, though. I assure you, he’ll have you trussed up and unable to move so fast it will make your head spin.”

  Jesse couldn’t miss the way Zane Hollister started watching those two like they were the nightly entertainment. The bar owner’s hand went out, grabbing the phone and dialing a number—most likely his wife’s. Callie Hollister-Wright was a sweetheart of a woman, and she was also the filter through which all of Bliss’s gossip flowed.

  “I think I’ll pass on the hard-core bondage. I’m not exactly submissive,” Gemma shot back.

  And she was wrong about that. “Submissive doesn’t have to be a lifestyle choice, Gemma. It can be something you indulge in, like that ice cream the other day. It can be a way to relax, to unwind, to enjoy yourself.”

  She gave him a bright smile. “I think I’ll decide that for myself. Unless there’s something you need to tell me. Are you playing a part? Are you playing the reasonable guy until we get involved and then you’ll turn into an asshole?”

  Cade piped up. “I’m easy. I’m exactly what I show myself to be. I’m a mechanic. I like beer and burgers and the occasional action film.”

  She snorted a little. “Well, then, we’re not going to do well, are we? I like good vodka and romances. And I like to read. Guess we’re not compatible.”

  Jesse sort of wanted to punch them both. “Only if you’re both completely unwavering. Gemma, do you require a man who drinks vodka?”

  She sputtered a little. “Well, no.”

  One down. “Cade, if the woman you’re interested in wants to see a romance film, what do you do?”

  Pure stubbornness came over Cade, his whole body setting in hard lines. But at least his damn mouth didn’t lie. “I go see the film.”

  Gemma stared straight ahead. “And he probably complains the whole time. He would ruin it for me.”

  Poor baby. Was that how she’d been treated? “He wouldn’t.”

  Cade softened immediately. “Hell, no, I wouldn’t. If I liked her, and she liked some dumb romance movie, then I would like it, too, because it brought her pleasure. And if she didn’t want me to tie her up, then I wouldn’t. I can be vanilla if I have to be.”

  She shrugged a little. “And I might be more open than I let on.”

  The tension in the air seemed to deflate a little. Jesse leaned in. She was still on the edge, but Cade’s words had an effect. She’d been hurt. That was obvious. Maybe she needed a dual approach. Not good cop, bad cop exactly, but more like soft lover, take-charge lover. Damn, but she needed both.

  Jesse let his hand slide over hers again. “I like beer, too, but I would always get you what you want. This doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing. You see that, right? We can have a nice time. We can take care of you and still get what we need.”

  She took a long breath, shaking her head and pulling back her hand. “I don’t know. I just want to have some fun. Cade said it didn’t have to be serious.”

  But that wasn’t what she needed. She needed so damn much more. “Gemma, we don’t have to start picking out rings, but it’s also not just a good time. I want to see you on a regular basis. I want to give this a shot.”

  “I want to try, too, but I can’t promise anything.” It was more than he’d gotten out of her in a whole week of careful courting.

  He looked at Cade, whose eyes had grown heavy. The minute Jesse started mentioning anything permanent, Cade’s eyes darkened and his mouth turned down. Had he really expected that they would never settle down? Damn it.

  Cade nodded her way. “I’m going to head home. I don’t think I should be involved. The two of you have something going, and that’s fine. I don’t think I’m a relationship kind of guy. You two have a good time.”

  He slid from his barstool and walked back toward Ty.

  Fucking, fuck, fuck, goddamn fuck. Jesse took a long breath. What the hell had Cade thought would happen? He’d made himself plain. He wanted Gemma, and he didn’t want a one-night stand. Had Cade thought they would spend the rest of their lives on the road, screwing women and partying because he didn’t want to face the past? Jesse set his drink down. Cade had been his friend for too long. “I need to talk to him. He’s got a lot on his mind. Will you be okay here?”

  She turned to him, her face a mask of indifference. “I’ll be fine. Go talk to Cade. I need to head home anyway. I’ll talk to you later.”

  She wouldn’t call. She wouldn’t talk to him again. He started walking away, utterly sure that she would dismiss him entirely. And she wouldn’t try again. She’d taken a chance and goddamn Cade had let her lead the way. Her fears were leading them all down a path because Cade couldn’t let it be.

  Did he really have to make a choice? Or should he take a chance that might lead them to something good?

  Cade had walked away. Cade had thrown down a line in the sand. That didn’t mean Jesse had to follow it. Gemma was special. He felt it deep in his bones. He’d connected to her the moment she’d walked in their goddamn door. For the first time in years, he had to make a decision.

  If Cade was out, then he was out. Damn it, Cade was his friend, but he couldn’t give up his whole future for him.

  He turned around. He marched back to Gemma. “Dance with me. I’m a spectacularly shitty dancer, but I want to dance with you.”

  Her face was suspiciously red as she turned to him. “That’s probably not a good idea.”

  “It’s a great idea.” He held his hand out. “It’s the best idea I’ve had in years. Maybe you’ve had better, but as for me, this is it. I know one thing, Gemma Wells. I want to dance with you.”

  “I’m not a good dancer.” She sniffled, just a little.

  He gave her his surest smile. “Then we’re well matched, baby, because I’ve got two left feet.” She put her hand in his, but didn’t move off her barstool. “Gemma, baby, he’s just as scared as you are.” She started to turn right back to her vodka tonic, but Jesse reached out and put a hand to her chin, pulling her eyes back to his. “You be braver than that. You look at me. You tell me what you’re feeling.”

  Big fat tears pooled in those eyes, nearly breaking Jesse’s heart. “I don’t understand you two.”

  He gave her what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “You don’t have to right now. It takes time to understand, especially two men. But, Gemma, neither one of us really wants easy sex. If that’s all you’re looking for, then I need to walk away, too.”

  “I don’t know what I want. Do I have to know what I want tonight?” She wiped away the tears on her cheeks. “Damn it. I was supposed to get married tomorrow. I didn’t love him, but I planned a whole life around him. It fell apart and I lost my job and my fiancé and my life in one day. I thought I could just not think about it tonight, but in typical Gemma fashion, I fucked up and picked the man who doesn’t want easy sex, and the one who might have wanted it walked away. So just go. I’ll drink my way out of it.”

  He wanted to groan. He fucking attracted difficult people. He was a magnet. And he couldn’t stand the sight of her crying.

“Gemma, can we compromise?”

  She turned back awfully quick. “How?”

  He moved in, letting her feel the heat of his body, his lips close to hers. She was curious. He would place a big-ass bet that her fiancé hadn’t satisfied her on any level. “I don’t want a one-night stand.”

  “And I don’t want a commitment.”

  A standoff, yes, but one he could deal with. He let his hand cover hers again. “Open-ended affair. I want you. I wanted you the minute I saw you. I’ve been hard as a rock since you walked into the shop. It’s more than your curvy, gorgeous, fuck-me body. I like how smart you are. A woman like you can make a man better. I want that, Gemma. Cade wants it, too.”

  She didn’t pull her hand away. “You don’t know me at all, Jesse. And I don’t think Cade feels the same way. He walked away.”

  He tangled their fingers together, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his. “So did you. The only reason we’re having this conversation is that I’m the reasonable one.”

  Her lips tilted up. “The sweet one.”

  He could handle that title. “Yes. The sweet one. And you’re the fuckable one. And Cade’s the one who handles all the bad shit. It can work, Gemma. It can work for the long term and it can definitely work for a night. But I want you to go into this whole thing with an open mind.”

  She sighed, her hand squeezing his. “I’m a bitch.”

  So she’d been told, probably by many people, but Jesse was going to set her straight. “No. You’re smart and sexy and don’t compromise when it’s not necessary. I’m asking you to compromise now. You’re a real smart woman. Make a quick list. Put me and Cade on one side and your pride on the other, because that’s what we’re up against, your pride. You’re an intelligent woman, baby. You add those numbers up real fast. You tell me if I should stay or I should go. Factor in the fact that I don’t want to go.”

  He stared at her, sending her his will. He wasn’t sure he would be able to leave if she told him to.

  He was betting a lot on her, but then, he was a betting man.

  * * * *

  Jesse McCann was going to make her crazy. It was supposed to be a simple plan. She was supposed to smile his way, and then he would do just about anything to get into her pants. Easy, breezy plan that almost any man would follow.

  But no, Gemma Wells had to pick the guys who wanted more.

  Or the guys who wanted to play games.

  She was scared out of her mind. They weren’t acting like she thought they should. Cade couldn’t just lie and take some sex and dump her in the morning?

  And Jesse should have just been happy with one night’s fuck. He was supposed to be her rebound man. He was supposed to be that guy she took all her frustration out on and then sent on his way.

  And she would have woken up and felt emptier than she did right now.

  He was right. She was smart. She could think her way through this. What did she know?

  They hadn’t played games. They’d told her what they wanted. She didn’t know what she wanted except she wanted someone to want her. They wanted her. They weren’t willing to take her under her terms.

  Did she even like her terms? What the fuck were her terms? She’d gone into the whole thing with the thought that she would be in control. She would make all the decisions. That had never worked for her before. And why would she have goddamn terms? This wasn’t war. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she knew she didn’t want to fight with them.

  Cade’s green eyes haunted her. She couldn’t use the term “them.” He was gone. Would something with Jesse work when Cade didn’t want her?

  “What do you want, Gemma?”

  Jesse’s voice flowed over her. He was soothing where Cade set her on edge. Jesse calmed her, his very voice a silky-smooth seduction most of the time. Then there were times when he would growl her way. Would he have a problem with what she wanted? Would he be able to top her? Would he let her be in control when she needed to be?

  She liked both. She needed both. She didn’t even want to be in control, she just didn’t know another way to be. Neither of her previous two lovers had wanted to be in control. Patrick had been practically lackadaisical.

  Jesse had been honest. Fuck. Honesty stripped away her armor. What would be left? Be brave. Jesse had asked her to be brave. She’d been in hiding for six months. Could she be brave?

  She was Gemma Wells. She’d put herself through Harvard. She’d given up huge chunks of her soul for a job that had taken everything and given nothing back. Years of her life had been wasted on people who would never have been as honest as these two men had been in the last ten minutes.

  And she’d sent one of them away.

  She really was a masochist.

  What did she want?

  She wanted a couple of minutes of pure joy, and they were offering it, but it came with risk. Nothing came without a little risk. She might wake up tomorrow and look like an idiot. They might be lying. Was she willing to take the risk? What was the balance? Her pride versus the potential of a little happiness.

  “Don’t go.” The words sounded almost foreign in her mouth. She’d said them, but she wasn’t sure she recognized the woman who had spoken. She’d changed in an instant. No. She’d started changing a long time ago, six months in fact. She just hadn’t acknowledged it. “I don’t want you to go.”

  Jesse smiled that brilliant, light-up-the-whole-goddamn-world smile. She had no idea how a man his size, with those muscles and his badass looks, could have such a sweet smile. “I’m glad. Can I talk to you about Cade?”

  His friend. He wanted to plead his friend’s case to get into whatever the hell they were starting. Two men. Two amazing men.

  She got off her chair and looked around the bar. Cade was waving good-bye to the blond guy she’d slammed the door on a couple of days back. She really needed to think about being nicer to people. Cade said something to the waitress and then turned. He caught her eye, but his slid away, his whole body turning for the exit. Was she going to let him walk out that door? He’d wanted her earlier in the day. She’d felt his cock press against her, rubbing her right in every way. He’d wanted her, but there was a haunted look in his eyes at times. She’d seen it in her own. Could she let him go because she didn’t want to face him?

  Fuck no.

  She had no idea what she was doing, but she ran across the bar and found herself standing in front of him. Jesse followed her, his body bulwarking hers. And she stared, not a damn word coming out of her mouth.

  Cade stared down at her. “Gemma? What do you need?”

  Nope. Nothing. She just looked at him, feeling the weight of the whole bar staring at her like she was the lead actress in their favorite soap opera. She glanced around. They really were looking at them. She was being an idiot. He’d walked away. Why was she chasing after him?

  Jesse put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t think about them. They’re nosy. Go on, darlin’.”

  Go on. Yep. Go on. Did she want to go on? Yes. She did. She wanted him, even if it was only for a night. She was a Harvard Law grad. She knew lots of words. So why did they fail her? “Do you want to dance?”

  Dumb. That was dumb. There wasn’t any music. The jukebox had gone silent five minutes before, and no one had approached it since. She was so stupid.

  Cade turned from her, his hand going into his pocket. He walked away, her whole soul flattening. She didn’t even get an answer.

  He walked straight to the jukebox, putting some money in, and in a few seconds, a slow, sultry beat started to pound out. Cade turned back to her, holding out a single, callused, deeply masculine hand. God, she was fascinated by that hand. “Are you sure, Gemma? I don’t know what I can offer you.”

  She wasn’t sure of anything except the fact that if she walked out now, she would hate herself forever. She might be able to forgive herself if she got played, but not if she didn’t try. She’d always tried. She’d wanted to be a lawyer so she’d applied to Harvard. She hadn’t let the fact that she didn’t have the money faze her. She’d gone for it. When she’d decided she wanted to marry Patrick, she’d told him they should get married.

  She’d spent her whole life chasing what she wanted. Why couldn’t she ask for this?

  “I’m not sure of anything.” She didn’t bother to hide her emotions. He’d been honest. She could be, too. “I’m scared out of my mind, but I want to dance. And I want a night with you both. Is that too much to ask? I won’t require anything from you but tonight, Cade Sinclair.”

  She felt Jesse’s arms wrap around her waist. Pure pleasure. She was drawn back into his heat, his body. And Cade crowded her front. He put his forehead to hers, nuzzling her sweetly.

  “I’ll dance with you, Gemma. I should warn you, I’m not good. But I’ll dance as long as you like.” He pressed his body to hers, his hips swaying lightly. Jesse moved behind her.

  The sweetness of the moment assailed her. She let one hand wrap around Jesse and the other drift around Cade as the music flowed over her. Her feet moved in time over Trio’s hardwood floors. She barely noticed when other couples joined them. Couples? Trios. Laura Niles danced with her men, her body moving easily. Alexei Markov held Holly Lang as he swayed to the music. And Caleb Burke kind of, sort of, moved behind her.

  And she was surrounded by Jesse and Cade. She knew she should feel self-conscious, but it was hard when all she wanted to do was melt into them. Jesse’s hands molded her curves, skimming along her hips. Cade, who said he couldn’t dance, moved with such grace, his lean body picking up the beat and giving her something to follow. His chest pressed against hers, making her nipples peak. It wasn’t a dance so much as a seduction. Jesse and Cade surrounded her, not leaving an inch between them.

  While the music played, she didn’t have to think. She didn’t have a past. She didn’t care about the future. All that mattered was the moment, and the moment included two men.

  She let her hands drift around.

  “That’s right.” Jesse’s breath heated her ear. “Touch me.”

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