“I thought you saw a great deal of similarity between us.”
“I think that was just self-preservation. The way I feel for you—” Her throat hurt and a tear—a damn unwanted and uninvited tear—slid down her cheek. She’d bottled up these emotions for over a week and now they were coming back in full force. “The way I feel for you was too much all at once. Too big. Too intense.”
“The feeling is entirely mutual.” His voice was soft.
“I wanted you to change,” she said thickly. “But I get it. I do. It was a lot to ask and I understand why you couldn’t do it. This is your quality of life we’re talking about here, and I was selfish to ask you to choose it or me.”
“Carrie—”
“No, please, let me finish.” She let out a shuddery breath. “I don’t completely agree with your decision to keep using the healing charm solution, but I respect your choice. It’s not like you’re doing it with blinders on. I’ve been trying to forget how it was between us, how much I liked having you in my life. Erzulie said that in stormy weather a tree has to bend or it’ll break. I was too rigid and it was breaking me—my heart, anyway. So I can bend. I can wear the ring so we can be together.”
“Why would you do this for me?”
“Because I’m completely in love with you and I don’t want to lose you.”
He stared at her.
She swallowed and shifted her feet. “Now you can say something. If you want to.”
“You’re done?”
“That’s as much of a speech as I had prepared. More, actually.”
“You know how I feel about you, Carrie.”
She shook her head. “I think I need a reminder.”
“I love you.”
She felt a glow in her chest. “You love me.”
“Without any doubt in my mind.”
“And you put me with Jeremy because you thought he’d make me forget you.”
“Word has it among female agents that he’s hard to resist.”
“Not my type. I guess I prefer blonds.”
He smiled sadly and looked down at his desk. “So now what?”
“Now I think I want you as my partner again. Can I put in a special request?”
He shook his head. “Afraid that’s not possible.”
She felt an immediate stab of disappointment. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not a field agent anymore. I’ve agreed to resume my position here as agency manager.”
Her eyes widened. “You mean you’re the boss again?”
“Looks that way.” He leaned back in his chair. “And I think it’s best that you put that ring somewhere safe. I suggest the vault here at PARA where all enchanted or cursed objects are kept safely locked away.”
It took her a moment to understand what he was saying. “You mean you don’t want me to put it on?”
“No, I don’t.”
Her throat felt thick. “I don’t understand. Erzulie gave the ring back to me. She said I should bend, not break. Well, here I am bending, Patrick. I want to be with you and I’m willing to go against my better judgment in order to make that happen.”
“I don’t want you to sacrifice your standards. Not for me.”
“I thought you said that you loved me?”
“I do.”
“Don’t you want to touch me again?”
His gaze heated. “So much. You have no idea.”
“Then why don’t you come over here and kiss me? I’ll put on the ring.”
“No, leave it where it is, Carrie. I mean it.” He looked very serious for a moment. Then he pushed backward and wheeled his chair around the side of his desk.
His wheelchair.
“Patrick—” She held a hand to her mouth in shock.
He looked tense and uncertain at her reaction. “I destroyed the healing charm yesterday. A half hour later, I couldn’t walk anymore. I have feeling in my legs, along with periodic shooting pains. I’m going to need a great deal of physiotherapy in order to get back on my feet. But I’m going to make it to every goddamned appointment they book for me and give it 100 percent of my strength and attention. No matter what.” He exhaled shakily and looked down at himself. “They say I’ll be able to walk with a cane in less than a year. Possibly without a cane if I keep up the hard work. They don’t sound encouraging when it comes to running any marathons in the future, but I don’t accept that. I think anything’s possible if you believe it is.”
Now she was seriously crying. No chance of even pretending she wasn’t. “Oh, Patrick…”
“And I didn’t do this just for you,” he said sharply, although his eyes showed his current vulnerability. “Not entirely, anyway. But losing you made everything crystallize in my head. There was no more fooling myself that keeping the charm was the right decision. There’s nothing magical about physical rehabilitation. It’s messy and difficult and a major pain in the ass, but it’s the road I’ve chosen once and for all.” He looked at her intensely. “The problem now is whether or not you’ll be willing to wait for me to improve.”
“Patrick,” she said, swallowing past the hard lump in her throat and wiping away her tears. “I’ve waited for you for twenty-nine long years. I think I’d be willing to wait another twenty-nine. At the very least.”
His tense expression finally eased and he blinked hard. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that.”
She moved toward him and leaned over so she could kiss him. He pulled her onto his lap and held her tightly around her waist as their kiss deepened and grew more passionate. Nine days was way too long. She swore to herself never to go another day without kissing Patrick.
“Besides,” she breathed into his ear after a moment. “What am I waiting for, exactly? I believe we already had this discussion. You can still make love to me.”
His lips curved. “Yes, I certainly can.”
“Glad to hear it. You just can’t run away from me quite as easily as you could before.”
“Point taken.” His hands moved across her back to pull her closer. “So…you’re trying to say that you’re okay with this?”
“More than okay. And I’m going to help you, Patrick. You’re going to be walking, running, everything before you know it. And I promise to be with you every step of the way.” She kissed him again, and it felt even better now that she wasn’t wearing the ring.
“Good.” He smiled at her for a moment longer before he glanced over at the door. “You know, this is a work day and I am the boss again, so…”
She raised an eyebrow. “So you have the authority to take the rest of the day off, take me back to your place, and let me have my way with you for the rest of the afternoon?”
“Ms. Stanfield, I had no idea you were also a mind reader.”
“I am a woman of many, many talents.” She traced her lips over his ear. “Now let’s get the hell out of here, boss.”
His smile widened. “Sounds good to me.”
A FEW MOMENTS AFTER Carrie and Patrick left the office, the gold ring sitting on the desk top disappeared into thin air.
Erzulie figured her work in Mystic Ridge was done.
Good thing, too. It was much too cold at this time of the year.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-7462-8
TOUCH AND GO
Copyright © 2010 by Michelle Rowen
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