by J. S. Cooper
“What are you doing?” she said. “Why are we stopping here?”
“We’ve gotta get out of this car. We’ve got to go somewhere else,” I said to her.
“Where are we going to go?”
“We’ve got to get another car and we’ve gotta get out of town.”
“What? I can’t go out of town. What are you talking about?”
“Sergio Moretti doesn’t give a shit about Fabiano. You hear me, Anabel? Fabiano did not work for Sergio Moretti. Enzo will find that out within an hour, and then he will come for me and he will come for you and he will kill us both, because he will be pissed. He will be pissed that I got one up on him and we escaped. He doesn’t care about Fabiano’s body now. Nothing is going to stop him from killing us, do you hear me?”
“Luca, but why didn’t you just tell him where Fabiano was buried?”
“There’s still stuff you do not know, Anabel. There is still stuff that is dangerous and I need you to trust me.”
“Where are we going to go? I don’t understand. We can’t just disappear. Is he going to be haunting us for the rest of our lives?”
“Anabel. We need to get out of this car.”
“Where are we going? I don’t want to get out. No. I just want... please, Luca. I just want this all to be over.”
“I know you want it to be over Anabel, and I’m sorry that I got you involved in all of this, but we’re not safe here in Brooklyn. We can’t go back to my house. You can’t go back to your house. You hear me? Enzo will be there and he will kill us.”
“So, where are we going to go?”
“I’ve got to think. I’m not sure yet. I hadn’t planned this far ahead.”
“I thought you always planned ahead, Luca. I thought you always knew what was happening.”
“I did always know what was happening, Anabel. I always knew what was happening until it came to you. Don’t you understand that? Don’t you understand what you do to me? I cannot think when I am around you. I love you, Anabel, do you not get that? I still love you. Please stop looking at me like I’m going to kill you, like I’m going to hurt you. I’m doing this for you. I fucking love you, and you look at me like I’m a fucking monster.”
“I don’t think you’re a monster, Luca.” She shook her head. “I’ve never thought you were a monster.”
“Don’t lie to me, Anabel. That’s why you went to the feds. That’s why you tried to get me imprisoned. You thought when I killed Fabiano, I was a monster, and you wanted nothing to do with me, you left me.”
“I didn’t leave you because I thought you were a monster, Luca. I left you because I thought it was my fault. I’m the one that flirted with him. I’m the one that got you angry and I did it on purpose, and then you killed him because of me. If I hadn’t been so immature it never would have happened.”
“But you know that’s not true, Anabel. I just told you Fabiano was fucked-up. That’s not why I killed him.”
“I know that now. I know that now, but you have to remember I didn’t know that back then. When I went to the feds, it wasn’t to turn you in, it was to turn me in. I wanted to go to jail. Don’t you understand that, Luca? I wanted to go to jail, not put you there.”
“Anabel. What?”
“They got it out of me. I confessed to the crime, Luca. I’m the one that confessed and they got it all out of me. They didn’t let me sleep for hours and hours, and I broke down and I told them everything, and it just came out. And they got your name, and they said they were going to arrest you, and I thought I was going to die. Don’t you understand? I thought I was going to die when I heard they were going to get you. And I knew you would hate me forever, and I’d hate me forever. Luca, you’ve got to understand. Even after all that, it was never you I wanted to get in trouble, it was never you. It was me. I wanted to pay for my sins.”
“Oh, fucking shit, Anabel.” I stared at her in shock and my heart exploded with love for her. “You never go to the cops, do you hear me? You never go to the fucking cops. Oh.” I pulled her into my arms and kissed her on the head. “But I’m glad you told me.” I looked at her in a new light. “Maybe we could make this work after all.”
“How are we going to make it work? You’ve got a fiancée.”
“What fiancée?”
“Valentina Marchese, your beautiful Italian girl.”
“Oh, nah. She’s not my fiancée.”
“But you said she’s your fiancée, Enzo said she’s your fiancée.”
“She’s a girl whose father wants me to marry her. He thinks I’m up and coming, one of the top mafia bosses, which I am, and he wants me to marry her; maybe because I kind of promised that I would marry her, but we’re not engaged. She’s just staying at my house.”
“She’s staying at your house?”
“Yes.”
“So, have you fucked her?” she whispered and I looked at her without saying anything for a few seconds.
“What if I said yeah? What if I said I’d fucked her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would you hate me?”
“I wouldn’t hate you. I’d be hurt.”
“You know I fucked other women, Anabel. You know that, right? I fucked half of New York. Most probably all of Queens, all of Brooklyn, all the Bronx. Maybe not all of Manhattan because you know those boujee chicks.”
“Stop it please, Luca, I don’t want to hear about that.”
“You have to know who I am, Anabel. If we’re to stand a chance, you have to know and accept all of me.”
“That’s hard, Luca. I mean, I don’t want to think about you with other women. Would you want to think about me with other men? What if I told you I fucked half of New York too? Would you be okay with that?”
“Have you fucked half of New York?” I could feel anger building inside of me. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was hypocritical of me. How could I be okay with fucking half the women of New York and not be okay if she’d done the same thing? “How many men have you fucked since me, Anabel? Tell me. I need to know. I need to know the truth.”
“I told you already. There’s been no one since you.” Love and joy filled my heart, but I kept my mouth straight.
“Really? There’s been no one, not one guy?”
“There could never have been anyone since you, Luca. Don’t you understand that? You’re my true love. I never forgot about you. I could never be with anyone else. They’d never match up to you. You’re my knight in shining armor. Not once, not twice, but three times now. Don’t you understand?”
“So, you still hate me?”
“Do I sound like I still hate you, Luca?”
“Nah, you don’t sound like you still hate me.”
“Do you still hate me?” she whispered.
“Do I sound like I still hate you?”
“A little bit.”
“I have never hated you, Anabel. The only person I hated is myself. I hated that I wasn’t good enough for you. I hated that you couldn’t see beyond my exterior. I hated that it ended.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I broke your heart, Luca.”
“You know what, Anabel? You did what you thought was best and I respect that. You stuck up for what you thought was right. And that’s cool. That’s really cool.”
“You don’t really think that.”
“I do. I respect that. And you know why?”
“Why?”
“Because that means you’re someone I can always trust to do the right thing. You’re someone I could trust with my life.”
“But Luca, I nearly got you imprisoned.”
“But you didn’t, and now I know you didn’t even try to turn me in. You’re a good person, Anabel. You’re too good for this world. You shouldn’t be in the mafiosa world. You shouldn’t be with me. I’m going to make it so you can go back to your life, you hear? I’m going to make it so you can go back and you can hang out with your friends in Manhattan, and you can work in your fancy-dancy law firm. And you can
meet a nice, good man and marry him and have 2.4 kids and send them to Columbia like you. And you can go on holidays to Europe and South America, and you can go kayaking and camping, and you can do all of those things that you love to do, and you can live a happy, normal life.”
“What if I don’t want that?”
“What do you want?”
“What if I want you, Luca?”
“I can’t give you a good life, Anabel. I can’t keep you safe. I can’t keep you happy. I can’t do that. And I don’t want to put you in danger, I love you too much for that.”
“But Luca...”
“But Luca nothing. We’ve got to stop talking now, we’ve already been talking too long. Enzo is most probably looking for us already. We’ve got to figure out somewhere to go. Why can’t I think of somewhere to go? Why do I have no one to trust?”
“What about your friend, Giorgio?”
“I can’t fucking trust Giorgio. I cursed. “I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.”
“But wasn’t he your underboss?”
“Yeah, he was my underboss. I’m a fucking fool. I’ve known this kid since we were kids. Watched him stuff his face with cake, but he can’t be trusted. And you know why I know that? Because I saw Enzo’s phone.”
“What does that mean?”
“When we were in the room Enzo’s phone was ringing.”
“Okay. And?”
“And you know who was calling him?”
“No, Luca. Who was calling him?”
“Fucking Giorgio. Enzo had Giorgio’s number programmed into his phone. So, you know what that means, Anabel?”
“No.”
“That means that fucking Giorgio has been the rat all along. Fucking Giorgio. And you know what that says about me? That says I’m a fucking idiot. My own fucking number one, my underboss. He is the one that’s been ratting me out.”
“I’m sorry, Luca.”
“Don’t be sorry, Anabel. This is the world I live in. It’s cutthroat. You can’t even trust your fucking brother. You hear me? You can’t trust your brother, you can’t trust your dad, you can’t trust your uncle. Shit. Some people can’t even trust their fucking wife. Their wife would fucking slit their throat.”
“Luca, that sounds absolutely horrible.”
“It is horrible, but that’s the life I am in. That’s the life I live. That’s why Matteo left. He didn’t want nothing to do with it.”
“Luca, I’ve got an idea.”
“What is it, Anabel?”
“You said you need us to go someplace safe, right?”
“Yeah. And?”
“I know you might not like this, but what about Matteo? What about Emily and Mateo? They could help. Didn’t you say they were all gathering together?”
“They can’t fucking help. Matteo hates me.”
“Yeah. He might hate you, but Emily is one of my best friends and he loves Emily, and Emily will do anything for me, I know that. They can help us. Please, let me help. Let me do something now, Luca, please. You have to trust me.”
“You can’t call them, Anabel. You’d just be endangering them. And what if they ratted us out to Enzo to save themselves?”
“Emily would never do that, Luca. I trust her with my life. And if you ever loved any part of me, you’ll trust me now. I know they can help. Please.” I looked at her and I saw the intensity in her eyes. I saw how important it was to her. And frankly, I didn’t have any better options. I was out of options, I didn’t know what to do.
“Okay. Anabel. Help us get out of this mess. I’m counting on you.”
Chapter 20
Anabel
“Okay, I just got off the phone with Emily. She said we should go over to the safe house they’re in and that Matteo’s going to help us.” I looked over at Luca and he grimaced. “Please, Luca. He’s your family.”
“He’s not my family.”
“Luca, he is literally your blood family.”
“Okay. He’s my blood family, but we don’t agree. He doesn’t agree with what we do in the mafia.”
“That doesn’t matter now. He said he’s going to help us. Emily promised me that we’ll be okay.”
“You trust her?”
He looked at me. There was a grim glint in his eyes and I nodded. “She’s one of my best friends and I trust her. I really trust her, Luca. I promise you we’ll be okay. Do you trust me?”
A silence filled the air between us and we just stared at each other. A moment seemed to pass on for an eternity before he finally nodded. “I guess I’m trusting you with my life. Aren’t I, Anabel?”
I could feel an intensity between us, something that we’d never felt before and it wasn’t sexual. It was just a buzzing, a connection. I reached forward and I grabbed his hands. “Can I tell you something, Luca?”
“What? Do I want to know?”
“I always knew you were slightly dangerous.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you remember that day when I was walking down the street, reading Harry Potter and I bumped into you and my bags went flying and you helped me up and you walked me home?”
“Of course I remember. I planned it, remember?”
“Yeah, I know. But there’s one thing that you didn’t know.”
“What?”
“I saw you on the street.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw you on the street when I was walking and I thought to myself, ‘That guy is really cute.’”
“Okay.”
“And so I looked down and I read my book, but I knew I was going to walk into you.”
“What?”
“I was trying to bump into you too. That’s why I never let go of the book. I was doing a bad job acting. I was trying to pretend that I was so engrossed in the book that I didn’t notice anything. But I did. I saw you ages before I bumped into you.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He laughed incredulously. “You knew I was there? It wasn’t me that bumped into you?”
“I don’t know if you bumped into me as well, but I walked into you on purpose. And that day, I saw your gun. I saw it there in your holster and it made me shiver. So you see, we’re both kind of crazy, Luca.”
“You never told me this before, Anabel.”
“Because I didn’t realize that you were a psychopath as well.” I half-laughed.
“I’m not a psychopath.”
“I know you’re not a psychopath, but it’s just weird. You know? I know you thought it was you that set it up and you did set it up, but I kind of wanted it to happen as well. There’s always been something between us. From that very first moment that we looked into each other’s eyes, there’s always been something there.”
“Do you know how badly I want to kiss you right now, Anabel?”
“I think I know how badly you want to kiss me because I want to kiss you as well.” I gave him a half-smile. “But we both know we have to go. Matteo thinks we should take a taxi over to the safe house. He thinks we’ll be safest in a taxi.”
“Why a taxi?”
“There are so many taxis out there, right? Even if someone sees us get into a taxicab, they’re not going to know which one. He said it will be easy for Enzo’s men to get confused and lost.”
“That makes sense.” He nodded. “I can see that. I guess Matteo’s not as dumb as he looks.”
“Be nice, Luca. He’s helping us.”
“I don’t know if he’s helping us or if he’s just trying to make his woman feel good. I just hope we can trust him.”
“He loves Emily, you know? He really loves her. That’s one thing I know and I know Emily loves me. They would never betray us. Trust me, Luca. You said you just trusted me.”
“I do trust you, Anabel. And if Matteo loves Emily, as much as I love you, then I think he will do his best to keep us safe.”
“Great. So then let’s go.”
“Let’s go then. My life is i
n your hands, Anabel,” he said as we got out of the car and I felt a huge amount of pressure on my shoulders. Fuck. I knew Emily loved me and would do her best, but what if her best wasn’t good enough? What if Enzo did find us there? And what if I was now endangering Emily and Charlotte as well.
“Luca!” I rushed over to him as he walked around to my side of the car and he pulled me into his arms.
“What is it? Why do you look so nervous?” His nose brushed against mine and I just wanted to melt into him.
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea. Maybe we shouldn’t go there. What if Enzo finds us and what if he not only kills us, but he kills Emily and Charlotte and Matteo and Max as well? I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear it, Luca. Let’s try to think of something else.”
“Anabel. Hey, calm down. It’s okay.”
I looked up at him. I could feel my body shivering and I held on to him. I hugged him and he held me close to him. He stroked the back of my hair and he whispered in my ear.
“It’s going to be okay. Matteo will know what to do. Matteo will not let anything happen to Emily. I promise you.”
“But you said you don’t trust Matteo. You said you don’t...”
“Look at me, Anabel.” I looked at him. “Matteo is a Calabrese and I know you don’t know much about the mafia world, but the Calabreses were one of the top mafia families. His family is my family, and we are the best. He left because he didn’t like crime and he didn’t like murder, not because he wasn’t good at what he did. And I respect him for that. Do you hear me? I would never tell him that, but I respect him for having the courage to leave. Matteo knows how to get his hands dirty. Who do you think taught me how to use a gun? Trust me, he can protect Emily. And if he said he’s going to protect us too, he will. I have faith in him. We got to go now, okay?”
“Okay, Luca. Thank you.” I took a deep breath and he pressed his lips against mine as if he wanted to kiss me forever. “What was that for? Why did you kiss me?”