by Nicole Fox
I love that she knows my smell.
I explain what happened after she was taken and how I got onto the ship. I tell her that I’ve been looking for her from the moment I arrived and that the auction was my idea.
“It was the only way I could think to get you alone,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
Her chin wobbles, and she shakes her head. “It isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.”
I don’t believe her, but I pull her close and kiss her temple.
Courtney tells me that she only sees Olivia occasionally. She doesn’t know where she’s being kept or by whom. She tells me that Tati is sick and growing worse. Her headaches are crippling, and the conditions they are living in aren’t helping.
“She’s the one who needs a bath, not me,” Courtney says, pressing her hands against her face. “She should be here with you. She should be sleeping in a bed for the night. I don’t deserve any of this.”
I know Courtney would trade places with Tati in a second. So would I. I would trade my life to free all of them right now if it were possible.
I kiss her fingers and pull her hands away from her eyes. “You don’t deserve what has happened to you, but you deserve this.”
I bring her fingertips to my lips and then uncurl her fingers, kissing my way across her palms.
“You deserve to be cared for.”
I wrap her arms around my waist and cradle her face. She tries to gently pull away, but I hold her steady, staring into her eyes.
“I love you,” I whisper. “And you are going to get out of here.”
Her chin wobbles again, tears welling in her eyes, and I can’t bear it. I can’t stand that she’s here because of me and, right now, there is nothing I can do about it.
So, I tilt her face up to mine and kiss her. Because I’ve missed her, because I love her, and because there is nothing else I can do.
Courtney goes liquid in my arms. Her body arches against mine, and her lips open, allowing me into her mouth.
She tastes the same—mint with a hint of cinnamon—and I inhale her, trying to cherish every single detail about her I’ve missed.
When she pulls away, I keep my eyes closed, not wanting to give up on the moment.
“We can’t. We have to make a plan. We have to get out of here. We have—”
“All night,” I finish, bending to kiss the end of her nose. “We have all night.”
I see the doubt in her eyes, but I can also see that she has missed me in all the same ways I’ve missed her. When I drag her arms up over my shoulders and plant my hands on her waist, her eyes flutter shut. When I curve my hands around to her backside, pulling her against me, she sighs.
“I’ve missed you.” Her voice breaks. “So much.”
I kiss my way up her jawline and nibble on her earlobe. “You don’t have to miss me now. I’m right here.”
Courtney tangles her fingers in the longer hair at the base of my neck and then reaches around to pinch at my beard. “You have a beard now.”
“Disguise,” I mumble as I kiss her neck.
“I like it.”
“I’m cutting it as soon as we get home.”
I feel her tense, and I smooth calming lines down her back. “We are going to make it home. You and me and the girls.”
She takes a deep breath, and I know there is nothing I can do about the trauma she has endured. There is nothing I can do about the horrible way she has been treated. But even though I can’t take care of our daughters right now, I can take care of Courtney.
I press my lips to hers softly, walking her back towards the bed, and slide my hands under the hem of her too-large shirt.
She tenses when my hand brushes across her skin, as though she’s nervous, but then she relaxes, easing into my touch. I pull her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side.
“We should plan,” she whispers, tipping her head back as I trail kisses down her jaw and across her collarbone.
“After,” I say against her skin. I’m too far gone to think about escaping, to think about anything other than her body. I’m a man who has been without water and suddenly, here is a tall, delicious glass. “I need you.”
Courtney reaches for the button of my pants, and I fumble for hers. Clumsily, as though we’ve never done this before, we undress one another. When Courtney goes to lie down on the bed, I grab her arm and shake my head. “That’s my roommate’s. Top bunk.”
She turns and climbs the ladder, and I can’t stop myself from leaning forward and taking a bite out of her as she goes up. She pauses, surprised by my touch, and I keep going. Nipping and kissing my way to her upper thighs. Courtney clings to the ladder and spreads her legs slightly, and I almost black out from lust. I kneel on one of the lower rungs and position myself between her legs.
When I lick across her center, she jolts and repositions herself on the ladder. “This is dangerous.”
“This is hot,” I growl, wrapping my hands around her thighs for more support.
With every stroke and suck, her legs tremble in my hands, but I won’t stop. Not until she releases, not until her body is filled with nothing but pleasure and warmth and bliss.
“Dmitry,” she gasps when I circle my hand around the ladder and her body to rub circles against her sensitive skin.
“Come for me,” I command, pressing my tongue into her. “Come.”
Her entire body tenses, her back arches, and then her hips begin to circle, matching the rhythm of my mouth. A deep, guttural moan comes out of her that I’ve never heard before. By the end of it, she’s dangling from the ladder with limp arms, and I have to give her a push from beneath to get her up onto the bed.
As soon as I climb up after her, she tries to push me to lie down, but I shake my head. “This is about you.”
She opens her mouth to protest, but I capture her lips in a kiss and cover her body with mine. Courtney wraps her legs around my hips and it feels like coming home. It feels like the hole that opened in my chest when she was taken has closed slightly. The ache is momentarily gone, and I can’t stop myself from seeking more relief in her.
I press myself to her opening and thrust inside.
Courtney gasps, her fingers digging into my shoulder blades. She rolls her body against mine, drawing me in deeper, her breathing coming in small huffs that match the speed of our meeting.
Her body is soft, and I massage my hands down her body, rolling my palms over her breasts.
“More,” she says, looking directly into my eyes. She sits up and kisses my mouth. Then, she speaks against my lips. “Make me forget.”
I’ve never had more motivation to pleasure a woman in my entire life.
I pin her to the mattress and kneel in front of her, wrapping her legs around my hips. Then, I grab her legs for leverage and pull her against me.
The connection is deeper than anything I’ve ever felt, and I groan as she slides away.
Again and again, our bodies slap together. Courtney closes her eyes, her arms thrown over her head as we shake the entire bunk bed, despite it being bolted into the wall. I thrust into her as fast as my body will allow, and when I smooth my hand down her stomach and across her center, her back arches.
“Yes,” she moans, clapping a hand over mine, directing me towards her sensitive nub. “Yes, please.”
“So polite,” I tease, circling my thumb over her in time with my thrusts.
Her legs clench around my waist, squeezing me to her, and I can see the muscles in her flat stomach working as she gets closer.
Just when I think she’s going to fall apart, she slaps my hand away, grabs my shoulders, and pulls herself up so she’s sitting in my lap. Suddenly, she’s the one in control, and I am not complaining.
Her breasts are swaying in front of my face, and I draw one into my mouth, swirling my tongue around her nipple while Courtney circles her body over me.
We are tangled in one another, as close and vulnerable as two people can be, and it still isn’t enough. I still want
more of her. Now and forever.
I grab her waist and draw her against me again and again. Courtney curls her fingers in my hair and kisses me, her tongue exploring my mouth until I can’t think of anything but her. Until I don’t remember where I am or who I am. All I know is I’m happy, and I love this woman.
I feel her body tense as her second orgasm rocks through her. The sensation of her pulsing is enough to bring me to the edge.
I grab her ass and crush her against me, begging for more, for everything.
Heat builds in my stomach, tight and coiling like a snake. When Courtney cries my name, it explodes.
I gasp and it feels like I’m breathing for the first time. I cling to her, circling my arms around her tiny waist until I’m afraid I might suffocate her. Courtney wraps her arms around my neck, and we cling to one another as the orgasm flows and begins to ebb away.
When we’re done, Courtney curls against my chest, and I hold her. We cling to one another like the world is ending, and we’re one another’s shelter.
That’s what Courtney is. My shelter.
She talks about the beach outside of our house. She dreams of making it back there with our girls, of the family trips we should take abroad.
I want all of that, too, but in the back of my mind, I wonder if I can ever be for Courtney what she is for me. Can I ever be that soft place to land? Can I save her the way she has saved me?
My life is messy and cruel, and she and the girls are experiencing that firsthand. They deserve safety and peace, and I don’t know if I can give her that.
Courtney tells me about the conditions of the shipping container and the schedule of the Tiger’s visits, as well as the visits of another man who helps take care of them.
“Another man?” I ask. “I didn’t know there was anyone else.”
“He is quiet,” she says. “I don’t know what his role is. He has dark hair and blue eyes, but he hasn’t said anything about his name. He’s nicer than the Tiger, but—”
“None of these men are nice.” I clench my teeth and take a deep breath, trying to calm down. “They are all monsters, and I’m going to get you out of here. I’m working on it now.”
“How?” Courtney asks.
I wish I could tell her, but I don’t know yet. “I have to get to all three of you at the same time. Now that I know where you and Tati are, I have to find Olivia. Once I do that, I can formulate a plan.”
“And you’ll tell me what this plan is?” she asks, drawing a finger down my chest.
I nod. “Of course. As soon as I know, you’ll know.”
I’m not sure when we fall asleep or how long it has been when the knocking sounds at the door.
“Time is up,” the Tiger yells from the other side of the door.
Courtney gasps and clutches me. Her entire body is trembling, and her face is pale.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, kissing her hair, wishing I could go with her. Wishing I could kill the Tiger and keep her with me. “I’ll see you again. It will be okay.”
I help her dress in the dirty clothes she came in, and when I open the door, I see the Tiger take in her new, cleaner appearance. His eyes narrow, and I know the look too well.
Desire.
“Someone got a bath.”
Courtney glares at him, and he wraps his hand around the back of her neck. “Come with me.”
It takes everything inside of me not to rip his hand off with my teeth. I watch until they reach the end of the hallway and turn the corner. I watch until she’s gone and then wait a few minutes after that.
Then, I set about my day, all the while harnessing my rage and frustration into action. I have to get us all out of here.
10
Courtney
Tati is sitting up in the middle of the container, letting Larissa braid her hair.
Seeing the two girls do something so normal feels bizarre under the circumstances. Though, for the moment, I’m relieved.
Tati is awake and well enough to play. Well enough to want to do something besides cling to me. At least temporarily, I can think about something other than her declining health.
Though, I’m not sure how much of a gift that is.
Coming back to the container after a night with Dmitry—a night with a shower, clean clothes, and his arms around me—is harder than I ever would have thought possible. It feels like starving inside a cage when there is a plate of steaming food just on the other side. It’s torture of the harshest kind.
My husband is here on the ship, but I can’t reach him.
My toddler is being cared for by people I don’t know, but I can’t see her.
The Tiger had brought Olivia to me once a day since we boarded the ship, but since my night with Dmitry, I haven’t seen her. No contact, no word.
I tried to ask the Tiger about Olivia when he brought the stale bread that serves as our breakfast, but he just spat at me and left.
Sadie hasn’t been responsive since the night of the auction. She just wants to sleep, and I can’t blame her. I spent the evening with Dmitry; she spent the evening with an unknown sailor.
I have no idea what he did to her or what he made her do. I feel guilty that she suffered while I found a reprieve.
The nicer of the two guards slipped her a second helping of breakfast when he came for the bathroom bucket. He didn’t say anything to her or draw any attention to himself, but he must have noticed she was behaving differently than normal and was trying to help her keep her strength.
Dmitry said no one on this ship can be trusted and that they are all monsters, but I have my doubts about the dark-haired guard. He might be swayed to help us when the time comes.
Suddenly, Tati is in front of me, her little hands on my shoulders.
Can you tell Larissa that we live on the beach? She doesn’t believe me. Tati’s blue eyes—so much like Dmitry’s even though he’s biologically her uncle—blink up at me, and I want to cry.
I’ve said nothing to give Tati undue hope, but clearly, she has it anyway. She still considers the beach house our home, and I want to cling to that small glimmer of wishful thinking.
“We live on the beach,” I tell Larissa, bringing Tati’s forehead to my lips. “Our dining room looks out on the water. It’s very beautiful.”
Larissa looks amazed and turns to tell Annika about our home. Annika is much less impressed—in fact, she looks more curious than anything, inspecting me with a raised brow—but she feigns wonder for Larissa’s sake.
Tati and Larissa meet again in the middle of the container, this time with Tati braiding her friend’s hair, and I lean back against the metal wall and try to imagine what it will be like to be home again.
I spoke with Dmitry about what it would be like to go home, but it was more for his sake than mine. He was there with me physically, but emotionally, he felt a million miles away. There was something off in his expression, something haunted that unsettled me. Even if I wasn’t certain of it, I wanted him to believe that we would make it back to our old life one day. That we would get off this ship alive and be a family again.
Now, I try to cling to the hope I offered him. And when I can’t find the hope, I grab hold of the vengeance instead. It’s better than nothing.
The Tiger comes for me, Annika, and Larissa late in the evening.
He apparently determined it was too much of a risk to take us all out to the deck for air at once, so now he moves us in groups.
Tati, Sadie, and the other woman whose name I still don’t know went out the night before, and now it’s our turn.
I push Tati into Sadie’s arms, and it seems to awaken something in Sadie. She still isn’t as alert as I’d like to see, but she nods in understanding and hugs Tati to her chest.
The air is crisp, slicing through my thin pajamas, but I tip my head back until I see only sky. Until the ship around me is beyond my vision, and I can imagine I’m somewhere else. Somewhere beyond the confines of this emotional, physical prison.
> When a finger brushes down my neck, I think for a second that I must be imagining it. But then I feel a body press against my back.
“You have a pretty neck.”
The Tiger.
I jerk away, but a thick arm is around my middle before I can, holding me against him. He grinds his hips against my backside, breathing heavily.
“You better get used to being used,” he whispers, his voice harsh and threatening. “You’re facing a lifetime of it, and men pay more when they think you’ve enjoyed it.”
When his mouth clamps down on my neck, I yelp and drive my elbow back and into his stomach. It doesn’t hurt him, but it surprises him enough that his arm loosens, and I slip away from him.
Annika pulls Larissa away, directing her attention to the water beyond the railing, and I don’t blame her. I would do the same thing if Tati was here. I don’t want Annika to do anything to put herself or Larissa in danger. They need each other.
“What good do you think fighting is going to do?” he asks, tilting his head to the side like a predator examining its prey. “Where are you going to run to? I suppose you could jump overboard, but the cold would kill you. Do you want to die?”
If I didn’t have Olivia and Tati to think about …
If Dmitry wasn’t aboard this ship … .
Then yes, I would rather die.
I would throw myself over the railing without hesitation because death would be preferable to being touched by the Tiger. By his vile, disgusting hands.
But I have a family to think about. I have a little girl waiting for me in a shipping container, and I have to get back to her.
“I’m fighting because I want to live,” I say. “The moment I give in to your touch is the moment my life is over.”
The Tiger smiles and moves towards me, legs wide and arms spread like a goalie guarding the net. “Then you better say your final prayers.”
I try to dart past him, but his arm catches me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me.
“Go back to the container,” he barks at Annika and Larissa. “If you don’t, I’ll find you and throw you each overboard myself.”