by Olivia Dade
Like her heart. Like his.
Together, they were forging a joyful path through lives that were sometimes hard. But they were both clever, both tough for all their softness, both willing to work. For each other, and for their own happiness.
That was all the meaning he needed. Enough to last a lifetime.
“My goodness, Grandma.” Fist in his hair, she was urging his mouth where she needed it, confident and playful and gorgeous. Exactly how he wanted her, now and forever. “What big teeth you have.”
His favorite bit had arrived, and none too soon. “All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
Then he settled down and got to work, as determined as ever to give Little Red Riding Hood—April, Ulsie, his fiancée, the woman he would always, always love—her very own happy ending.
Just like the ones in their fics.
Just like the one she’d given him.
Acknowledgments
THE EXISTENCE OF THIS BOOK IS ITS OWN HAPPY ENDING for me, joyful and hard-won and achieved through love. My love for the story, of course—but also the love of my friends and family, and the love of my agent and publisher for their books and authors. I want to thank everyone who’s supported me in the creation of this novel, but that would double its length, so I’ll focus on a few key people instead:
Sarah Younger, my agent, pushes so hard for me and my work. She’s uber-professional, always, but has also made her personal commitment to my stories clear, and I’m so grateful. Her advocacy and ambition on my behalf, her hard work and kindness, mean the world to me.
Elle Keck, my amazing editor, believed in me and this book and pushed me to keep polishing it until it shone. Thank you for shepherding me through this process so skillfully and with such patient good humor, and thank you for wanting me as one of your authors. I’m beyond grateful.
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to everyone else at Avon who worked on this book too, especially Kayleigh Webb, Angela Craft, Laura Cherkas, and Rachel Weinick. Also, I am so grateful Avon snagged my favorite illustrator, Leni Kauffman, for the gorgeous cover! Leni: This image made me (and many others) cry, because we saw ourselves in it in a way we rarely experience. I can’t thank you enough.
Margrethe Martin spent endless hours discussing geology with me over FaceTime—to the point where my phone repeatedly died on us—and she later read my draft to make sure I got everything right. Which I didn’t, but she helped me fix that. It was so generous and kind of her, and the act of a true friend. Thank you. And thank you for taking me to both the Shake House and the rock warehouse, despite your doubts as to my sanity! I was so tickled to be able to include both in the story!
Emma Barry read this story and improved it immeasurably, as she always does, and I’m so appreciative. But I’m even more appreciative of her: her kindness, her thoughtfulness, her infectious laugh, and the way she believes in me way more than I’ve ever believed in myself. Lucy Parker’s insight into the book also meant the world to me, as does her friendship.
To all my other Romancelandia friends on Twitter, who support me always and helped me power through my edits as the world burned: Thank you. Thank you. Special gratitude to my dear friends Therese Beharrie, Mia Sosa, Kate Clayborn, and Ainslie Paton.
My husband loves me without conditions, just as I am. With him at my back, anything is possible. Anything. My daughter is sunshine in my life, so dazzling and warm I have to blink sometimes. Every time I see her in my personal sky, my day turns bright. My mother has had one of the hardest stretches of her life recently, but she is still moving forward, still determined, and still so caring to the people she loves. Thank you for being my family, all of you, and thank you for loving me.
And, finally, to all the fanfic writers out there: I love you. For over a year, my anxiety meant I couldn’t seem to read published books, but I could still lose myself in your work. Hilarious stories, gut-punching stories with unparalleled angst, stories of such unbounded creativity and talent I could only read in awe—you offer them all to the world for free, and you saved my sanity (or at least its remaining shreds). A special shout-out to the Braime fandom, among whom I lurked for that year. You, uh, may see some signs of that throughout this manuscript? Just a guess. :-)
Excerpt from Slow Burn
Don’t miss Alex and Lauren’s unforgettable love story in
SLOW BURN
Coming Summer 2021
“NEXT TIME YOU GET IN A BAR FIGHT, DON’T BOTHER COMING back to the set, asshole,” Ron shouted. “Do you even realize what you’ve done? That kind of juvenile—”
By this point, the rant had entered—Alex craned his neck to catch a glimpse of Ron’s Rolex—its tenth minute. And counting. The amount of blustering tedium the Gods of the Gates showrunner could pack into such a short span of time was impressive, truly.
Alex would applaud if he weren’t too busy fighting both a yawn and his desire to nut-punch his boss.
Ron’s nostrils flared with each harsh exhalation, but he made an attempt to lower his voice. “Legally, given the amount of negative publicity you’ve generated with your drunken stupidity, we had several avenues of financial and professional recourse available to us, including—”
The showrunner was still speaking, but Alex had stopped listening. Instead, he was studying the woman sitting approximately five feet to Ron’s left.
Sharp features, including a beaky, crooked nose. Bright eyes. Very round body with comparatively skinny limbs. Short as hell.
His newfound nanny looked like a bird.
A silent one, though. Not a chirp to be heard despite the advent of dawn.
As soon as Ron got word of the events that had transpired overnight, he’d demanded a meeting first thing in the morning. Even though Alex had left the Gates set near midnight and departed the local jail’s holding cell maybe an hour ago. He’d barely had time to take a shower and grab an apple by the hotel’s front desk before returning to work.
The three of them could have met in a private trailer, but the showrunner preferred public humiliation. So they’d gathered outdoors, near a ragged stockade, where hundreds of Alex’s coworkers could conceivably overhear his disgrace, and so could she.
This pale-cheeked stranger. Whoever she was. Whatever she was.
His eyes were bloodshot, his right eyelid swollen, his vision blurry. If he squinted in the early-morning fog, that lank, ash-brown hair ruffling around the woman’s soft jaw might as well be feathers.
Yes, definitely a bird. But what kind, what kind . . .
She was white, so maybe an albatross? It certainly worked on a metaphorical level.
No, albatrosses were too long and narrow for the likes of her.
Once Ron had begun his lecture, she’d perched on a makeshift bench several feet away from both men. Quiet and still, she sat silhouetted before the chaos of their faux-battlefield set as it sprawled along the Spanish shore. Yet somehow, even amid the large-scale staged destruction and ceaseless bustle of extras and crew members, she stood out in sharp relief. Incongruously small in stature, if not circumference. Calm. Avian.
The ocean breeze flipped up the hem of Alex’s linen tunic, and he absently batted it back down, wishing he’d brought his woolen cloak to set. A bird-watching guide, too, to help him pinpoint the exact species she resembled.
Also noise-canceling headphones, because Ron was still railing at him—something about contractual obligations and my cousin Lauren and unacceptable conduct for an actor on my show and bond company will pull our insurance, blah blah blah—and, sure, Alex was furious at the reprimand and his allotted punishment and the way no one had asked him what actually happened in that bar, not a single soul, but—
His paid minder, evidently some unfortunate relative of Ron’s, looked like a fucking bird.
This whole discussion wasn’t merely enraging. It was—
“Ridiculous.” Alex snorted, sweeping his arm to indicate the woman on the bench. “This bird-woman barely comes up to my chest. How is
she supposed to stop me from doing whatever I damn well please? Do you intend for her to cling to my ankle like an oversized bracelet?”
He considered the matter. It would make his workouts challenging, but not impossible.
Ron smirked briefly. “She may be ridiculous, but she’s in charge.” After casting a sidelong look at his cousin, he turned his attention back to Alex. “You’ll do what Lauren says until the series finale airs. Until then, she’ll accompany you wherever you—”
Wait. Alex hadn’t meant to call her ridiculous. More the idea she could effectively keep him out of trouble for months on end.
But Ron was talking, talking, talking, and Alex didn’t bother to clarify the matter.
That could wait until later, since he and Lauren would apparently be spending endless, torturous months together starting right . . . now.
About the Author
OLIVIA DADE grew up an undeniable nerd, prone to ignoring the world around her as she read any book she could find. Now she has finally achieved her lifelong goal of wearing pajamas all day as a hermit-like writer and enthusiastic hag. She currently lives outside Stockholm with her patient Swedish husband, their whip-smart daughter, and the family’s ever-burgeoning collection of books.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
Praise for Spoiler Alert
“With richly drawn characters you’ll love to root for, Olivia Dade’s books are a gem of the genre—full of humor, heart, and heat.”
—Kate Clayborn, author of Love Lettering
“Spoiler Alert is a delight. April and Marcus will melt your heart.”
—Jenny Holiday, USA Today bestselling author
“Spoiler Alert is a gentle, funny, and sexy romance that captivated me from the first page and kept me enthralled to the very (happy) end. I adored these characters and every moment of their journey to love. Olivia Dade has crafted an unforgettable story, one that’s earned an immediate spot on my comfort-reads shelf.”
—Mia Sosa, USA Today bestselling author of The Worst Best Man
“I was engrossed from page one of Spoiler Alert until the very happy, sigh-worthy ending. Olivia Dade is consistently one of my favorite authors. Her writing is warm and witty, frequently funny, and often achingly poignant.”
—Lucy Parker, author of Act Like It
“I don’t even have words to explain how much I loved this book. It is a legitimate masterpiece. I fervently adored it. It’s rare to read a book that manages to be funny and thoughtful AND sexy at the same exact time, but Spoiler Alert pulls it off.”
—Cat Sebastian, author of Two Rogues Make a Right
“As funny as it is sexy (and boy is it sexy), Spoiler Alert is a love letter to fandom in all its many forms and was an absolute joy from the first page to the last. Reading it felt like a hug to the heart from someone who wants you to know that you are perfect and deserve to be loved exactly as you are.”
—Jen DeLuca, author of Well Met
“Olivia Dade perfectly captures fandom, love, and acceptance in this incredible, delightful novel. I loved every page!”
—Jessie Mihalik, author of Polaris Rising
“Olivia Dade celebrates geek culture and the love for all things fandom in Spoiler Alert. She had me laughing out loud and reaching for tissues, sometimes at the same time!”
—Brina Starler, author of Anne of Manhattan
“The journey to self-acceptance is never easy, and Dade doesn’t shy away from that, but she makes it just as beautiful and gentle as the love that blooms between Marcus and April. . . . Geek out with this romantic homage to fan culture.”
—Kirkus Reviews
Also by Olivia Dade
Lovestruck Librarians Series
My Reckless Valentine
Mayday
Ready to Fall
Driven to Distraction
Hidden Hearts
Love Unscripted Series
Desire and the Deep Blue Sea
Tiny House, Big Love
There’s Something About Marysburg Series
Teach Me
40-Love
Sweetest in the Gale: A Marysburg Story Collection
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
SPOILER ALERT. Copyright © 2020 by Olivia Dade. Excerpt from SLOW BURN © 2021 by Olivia Dade. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Cover design by Yeon Kim
Cover illustration by Leni Kauffman
Thumbs-up emoji here © FOS_ICON / Shutterstock, Inc.
FIRST EDITION
Digital Edition OCTOBER 2020 ISBN: 978-0-06-300555-6
Version 08212020
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-300554-9
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