“So, you want to come just as an ‘in’ to other hot celebs? Got it.”
“And you! Of course, I mean, well … you, but I’m used to you now. You’re kinda normal for a supermodel. I mean, not like when I first saw you sneaking out. You’re kinda boring too.”
Marshall gasped. “Excuse me?”
“Come on, man, you’d love to not be visible, wouldn’t you? You hate the spotlight. You, Jess, and Stu would be happy on a private island, I’d guess.” A shadow crossed his face, but it disappeared almost instantly.
He laughed and looked over at me and smiled. “Can’t deny it.”
“Okay, well, if you let me finish. So ... Oh. My. God. What will I wear? Do you know if the brother in that hot band right now is into guys?” He gasped then. “No, I don’t mean that. I mean. But yes, okay, I’m there. Thanks.”
After Jamieson’s excitement subsided, I told him we were heading to bed. I hadn’t asked Marshall if he was staying over, but he stretched and got up when I did.
“Okay guys, I’ll put Jess to bed, so don’t worry. Go and catch up.” He winked and picked up Jess, rubbing her head.
“Thanks, Jamieson,” Marshall said, tapping him on the shoulder.
In the bedroom, Marshall stripped down to his boxers. “Mind if I have a shower, I feel a bit gross.” He came over to me and hugged me, peppering kisses across my cheeks. “Or … you could join me.”
How could I resist that? The television was still on and I grabbed two clean towels from the linen closet as we went to the bathroom. The heat rushing over my shoulders felt amazing. Marshall seemed to take control and he rubbed shower gel over my body.
I turned round and he held me in his arms with the water cascading down. It was like we had our own little cocoon in here. No paparazzi, no fans. Not that I would deny him his career. He was excellent at it, but I also couldn’t deny the anonymity would be okay. Sure, I did my drawings, but it wasn’t like I got hounded when I walked around the city.
“Hey”—a thought had been bugging me since earlier—“for the party, what, um, what’ll I wear? I mean you’ve seen my wardrobe, not exactly suits and gowns.”
We stepped out of the shower and dried off, and as I tied a towel around my waist, Marshall said, “Hold that thought.”
Back in bed, we snuggled in together. He was on his back and had me tucked in near his arm at the crook of his neck. I lay looking up at him. “I could stay here forever. I missed you. I was upset before, but I’m good with it now. I know you’re just getting used to all of this. I am too. I guess what I want to say is, promise we’ll talk and work out whatever might come up?”
I rubbed his chest. “It’s difficult for me too, but …”
“I’m—I know what you mean, what you want. I’m trying. I want this—us. I’m just … Okay, we can take it one day at a time.” He sounded like he was just trying to make me happy or coddle me or something.
“Okay,” I said, sitting up and crossing my legs, “but you’re doing it again.” I looked directly at him. “You’re obviously holding something back.” I leaned over to kiss his cheek. “But yes, I’m here okay.”
He pulled me in closer and kissed the top of my head, murmuring, “Thank you. Now, about the party—‘gala’ as my mother says, feel free to wear whatever you like. If you feel more comfortable though, come to my modelling agency during the week, and we’ll find you something.”
“Okay, I think I will. It might not be me, but I don’t really want to feel awkward. I’ll be back to the Stuart you know and love, soon after.” I gasped, realizing what I’d just fucking said: the L word to the most relationship-phobic person I knew.
He looked down at me, kissed my forehead, and said “I know” before pulling me in closer to him. “Now, let’s sleep.”
23
MARSHALL
I sat in the Mayfair Modelling conference room with Brenna, as I had many times before. The floor to ceiling windows meant that everyone walking by could see us. The whole place was very sterile. White and grey, peppered with pictures of me and other models on various magazine covers. Those covers were the only splash of colour.
Unlike other times when I sat in calculated boredom, my palms were clammy and sweat beaded on my forehead as I tapped the table. To be honest, with Stu lying in my arms, I hadn’t fully thought through my offer the other night. I’d just wanted to make him happy for once. It was always him making me happy.
Now I needed to explain why he was coming. And more. He’d be here with Jess in T minus 10 minutes, and I hadn’t even gotten up the guts to tell her. What the fuck was wrong with me? No, I wasn’t opening that can of worms, that was for sure.
I shook my head to get myself out of that train of thought. How could I have him come with me to the event if I couldn’t even jump this hurdle, and so I burst out, “Bren, ah, Stu is about to arrive and so …”
She looked up from her planner then. “Stu? Another model?”
“Stuart. Well, you know him as the dog walker. But he’s coming here to see Antoni in wardrobe to pick out a suit jacket or something …” I trailed off.
Though I was looking out towards the main door, I could sense Brenna’s eyes on me, drilling her gaze into the side of my head. Before I could help myself, I was laughing hysterically. I wasn’t exactly sure what at—probably the audacity of the situation. It was like I was a little kid in class, asking the teacher if I could leave to go to the bathroom.
And then I saw him at the front reception and got up to go out and greet him. He looked stunning in black tight jeans and a t-shirt and denim jacket. His blond hair was a bit mussed up from the wind outside. I brushed his hair down for him. “Hey.”
He moved from foot to foot awkwardly, obviously not sure what was okay or not. I bent down to pet Jess and then discreetly wrapped my pinky around his before dropping my hand. “Follow me.”
He looked around in awe at the magazines on the walls. “Wow, it’s you,” he said in astonishment. “I mean I knew you were big, but this is unreal.”
I turned to him. “That’s what he said.” That set us both off laughing. I was making up for lost time on that front, that was for sure.
We went in to see Brenna and I tried to act normal, even with the stunned look on her face. “Are you staying in here to work for a bit? Maybe I can leave Jess with you while we go to the fitting area?” My eyebrows rose up in question. About a billion looks crossed her face before she settled on one.
“Sure. Okay. No rush, guys.”
I pushed Stu ahead of me out of the room and turned to mouth a silent “thank you” to her. She smiled but I know would want to talk later. So much talking.
“So, I get to see what it’s like to be you. This is exciting,” Stu said from ahead of me. I so wanted to throw my arm over his shoulder, maybe nibble on his ear. It was difficult to resist.
I moved ahead of him as we wandered the corridors and then went to the back of the building. As I opened the door to the wardrobe and fitting area space, Antoni greeted me with open arms. He was extremely over the top with everyone, whether you wanted it or not. He was short, older than me, with a receding hairline, and always in a turtleneck … and always with a measuring tape around his neck. He was the best in the business.
“And look what you brought me to work with?” he said, turning Stuart around. Of course, Stuart took it in stride, pivoting and spinning for his benefit. I think Antoni was in love. “My, my.”
Stuart proceeded to do a decent catwalk strut through the room, and then sashayed his way back with a final twirl. His hand on his hip, he tilted it and then took an elaborate bow. When he straightened up, he looked at Antoni and blew him a kiss.
Oh gawd, I thought. I loved him. Where had that come from? It was true. It hit me like a brick wall. So many thoughts and feelings overwhelmed me. Happiness and fear and joy and worry threatened to overpower me.
I was frozen on the spot then and I must have collapsed onto one of the chaise lounges scattere
d through the room, because the next thing I knew, Stu’s face was right in front of mine, asking if I was okay.
“I think you fainted, Marshall.” He looked pale and his eyes were popping out of his head. I brushed his hand. “Antoni and I were looking at the suit jackets, and I was telling him you could never have enough glitter, while he prefers florals.”
I listened to him ramble on and couldn’t have been happier. I sat up. The epiphany that hit me couldn’t be anything but positive and wonderful. Even with the unknown and possible repercussions, everything had come into focus. “Thanks. I’m okay now. Best do a fashion show for me then. I’ll be the judge.” I pulled Stuart onto my lap for a moment and kissed him right outside his lip. Glancing up, I saw Antoni look away, just as I caught his eye.
Stuart jumped up. “Okay then.” And went to Antoni, grabbing his hand. Then he was back to his usual self, and with him and Antoni becoming fast friends, I heard him call out for Antoni to bring him various items.
When he was hidden in the fitting room at one point, Antoni came over to me. “Don’t ever let him go, he’s a special one.” And then he marched back over just as Stu reappeared to take both his hands in his. “This is marvellous, just marvellous. Let’s see what Marshall thinks.”
Stuart always looked fantastic to me, but I had to admit, this was something special. He wore snug leather trousers, a fitted shirt with silver sequins, black dress shoes, and a navy blazer with a floral pocket square peeking out on top. Everything fitted him to a T.
It was the perfect mix of formal and casual. “Wow, I mean, this is fantastic.” I moved in my seat, trying to rearrange myself discreetly. “Damn. Yeah, that’s the one.”
He winked at Antoni and then went back to get changed.
“And you, sir? You have a suit already?” he asked politely.
“Yes, thanks. Too many to choose from, really,” I admitted and sighed.
“Okay, well I’m here when you need me”—he came over and put his hands on either side of my arms”—for anything.” In a whispered tone, though we were the only ones in the room, he added, “And your secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks.” I pulled him in for a hug without really meaning to. To think we’d worked together all these years, and this was the longest conversation I’d ever had with him. Holding on probably a bit too long, I repeated, “Thank you.”
I arranged to have Stu’s outfit delivered to my place and we were all set. We went back for Jess, and Stuart tried to charm Brenna, asking her, “Want to join us for lunch? I think we’ll find an outdoor patio somewhere since it’s rather nice out today.”
“No, you two go ahead. Thanks for the offer. Marshall, you remember you have an early start tomorrow? I’ll meet you at the airport and we can talk.” The emphasis she put on talk scared me until Stu discreetly rubbed my back, which seemed to make all my worries disappear.
“Yep. I’ll be there.” And we turned to leave. After walking a few blocks together, we found a takeaway restaurant and decided to sit at the park and eat there. I stayed on the sidewalk with Jess while Stuart went in for our order.
He came back with drinks and sandwiches and we strolled along in comfortable silence. It didn’t last long though. “Where do you want to sit? I’d prefer the shade—”
I stopped him. “You looked fabulous in the outfit and I can’t wait to be at the event with you. I mean, I can’t really be with you, you know, but just knowing you’re there will make it less painful.”
He must have heard the sincerity in my voice, for he stopped and faced me. “Thanks, Marshall. Me too. I’m excited to be out with you, even if I’m not really. Okay. I’ll be there for you.”
It was a beautiful day out. Blue skies and warm but not too hot. I planned to enjoy every moment with Stu before I had to jet-set away again. We walked along the pathway and then found a grassy area under a tree. The park was busy with everyone taking the opportunity to enjoy the great day.
Suddenly a blanket appeared for us to sit on. I looked over at Stu. “Who are you? Mary Poppins?” His bag also had water and food for Jess and actual small glasses. I sat down and made sure Jess was okay as items continued to appear.
“Well, I don’t have her great hats or dress sense, but I’ve made sure we are prepared.” Stuart sat down next to me, took his jumper off, and leaned back on his elbows then said, “This is the life.” Jess sniffed around a bit and then plopped down next to him. It was absolutely adorable.
He sat up and opened up the bag to pull out the sandwiches, then he handed me one and took his own. After a few bites, he pulled out our drinks. We were in the perfect place for people watching, and no one was paying us any attention from what I could tell.
“Where are you off to tomorrow? And when are you back?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s to Paris this time. I’ll be back the day of the gala. So maybe you could just stay over the night before if you want and then we’ll get ready and stuff. Whatever works. I think Carter will meet us there, but invite Jamieson over if you want too.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, his face dropped, but he hid it quickly. “Oh, great. Okay. I hope it goes well for you.” He poked my ribs. “I’ll make sure you’re in tip-top shape before you go. You surely need a workout.”
I perked up, “Oh, what did you have in mind?”
“Twenty push ups with Jess on your back?” He batted his eyelashes at me.
I slapped him. “Cheeky.” I sipped my drink. “And I’ll have you know, I could do a hundred.”
After we finished eating, I took Jess for a small walk to have a pee. When I got back, Stu was lying back stretched out with his hands behind his head. I joined him, stretching out close by. A bit of sun filtered through the tree branches, so I pulled out my aviators.
Stu’s eyes had looked closed but I heard him say, “I know it’s you, the world-famous model. You can’t fool me.”
I laughed and ruffled his hair. “Yep, you’ve got me all sussed out. There’s no doubt.” A few hours passed in perfect harmony. We enjoyed the fresh air and the peace and tranquility. I reached between us to caress his side, and he moved one arm down to hold my hand. It was something so small, yet meant so much. He rubbed between my thumb and forefinger.
Then Jess jumped up and plopped her head on both our hands. We both looked up and smiled. “Hey, little one,” Stuart said, rubbing her head and picking her up to cuddle her. And that was when I fell a little more in love.
* * *
Carter and I were waiting to be called up for the photoshoot in Paris. He was doing sit ups with his shirt off. I couldn’t deny he was a handsome man. We were at a luxury mansion and shooting for a perfume brand. We wouldn’t be in the same commercial but each with a female model.
My name was called and I jumped up to go through. I stood at the side of the pool in blue speedos while various people gathered round. They pulled and prodded and rubbed lotion on me. My hair got primped and primed and I stood still like a soldier.
I was always professional and moved when I was told and listened to what angles they wanted me at. I wasn’t egotistical, but I’m sure I came across that way sometimes. I was good at the job, but not overly friendly and more standoffish, so I’d been told.
The photographer directed me to the diving board by the pool after introducing me to Jasmine LaClerc, which he hadn’t needed to do as I’d worked with her many times. I placed a kiss on either cheek. It looked like we’d be here most of the day.
She’d sit on the edge of the pool while I dived into the water then reappeared by her side. They would add the perfume graphics after the fact.
After about ten dives, I was a bit fed up although I didn’t let it show. I wanted to be back at the park with Stuart.
There was a break and I went to check my phone. There was no sign of Carter. He must be in the other room for the other photoshoot in the library.
There was an urgent message from Brenna. Shit, that couldn’t be good.
“Hey, what
’s up?” I said without any greeting.
“The Daily Mail has run a story. I can do damage control if that’s what you want, that is. I saw what you were like with Stuart before. Come on, be honest with me. Is he your boyfriend now?”
I hesitated but was tired of the lies. Especially to her. She’d been with me every step of the way. “Yes, I-I’m gay,” I let out on a whoosh of air. “And I know I kept it from you. I’m still keeping it from people, but you deserve to know. You are right. And yes, he’s my guy.”
I waited for some earth-shattering disaster, but it never came. Well right away, at least.
“Well, that makes two of us,” she replied.
“Stuart’s your guy?” I chuckled, sounding stupid even in my own head. “What? What do you mean, Brenna?” I asked.
“I too have my secrets, Mr. Grumpy. Yes, I have a girlfriend. I’ll have to introduce you. And Stuart too.”
“Wow, what an asshole I am. We really need to spend more time together. How could I not know that about you? Ah and thank you for sharing.” Letting out a huge breath I must have been holding, I continued, “I have to get back soon, but … ah, you’ll still represent me, right?”
“Of course, you idiot. Always.” I heard her sniffle. “I’m proud of you.”
“Don’t cry. You’ll set me off. Thank you though. But wait, what was the newspaper thing?” I asked.
“Well, it’s kinda fuzzy, but it’s you and him at the park. I guess you’re both sitting quite closely and chatting. Do you want me to issue a statement, or leave it? And if I were you, I’d not answer any calls from your mother. She’s sure to have gotten wind of it by now.”
“Good advice. Doesn’t it say something, that I’m more scared of the wrath of my mother than an article all of the UK will have seen.” I laughed to myself.
She burst out laughing too. “Here, here.”
“Ah, just let it be for now. But keep me posted. If you think we need damage control, then tell me.” I cleared my throat, getting emotional without realizing it. “And thank you. I better go here.”
Marshall: Mayfair Model Series Page 16