by India Millar
“We’re safe here, I promise,” Seemon reassured me.
But fear had me in its grip and I shook my head fiercely. “Anybody could come in and find us! We can’t stay here.”
He put his arms around me and held me tightly against him. I could feel his chest moving with each breath and it calmed me.
“No. Nobody will find us here. Nobody else in the Hidden House knows about this room, not even the geisha here.”
“Nobody?” I wanted to be reassured. Feeling his arms wrapped around me was enough to quell my concerns.
“Nobody except me and Hana.”
I almost shrieked aloud. Of course Auntie would know about it. And if she came back and found us in her secret place? I fought in his arms, terror making me strong. But Seemon was far stronger still.
“No,” he said firmly. “Terue, do you really think I would expose you to danger? I will not. Hana has gone out of Edo. She’s had word about a girl that might be promising for the Hidden House and she’s gone to look her over. She took the boys with her as the area she’s headed for is not safe. It will be late tonight before she gets back.”
“How do you know?” I demanded.
“Because Hana mentioned it last night,” he said simply. “Trust me. The Hidden House has many secrets. This room is one of them. Now and then, a very important man might have need to disappear for a while. When that happens, Hana is pleased to let him stay here for a day or two until it is safe to slip away. That door—” He nodded toward what looked like another wall— “leads straight into the garden, and from there into the street.”
“How do you know?” I asked suspiciously.
“It was whispered to me by one of the greatest yakuza in Edo. He had taken a great deal of opium at the time, and I think his desire to impress me took over his discretion. He himself had used the room a couple of times, when rival yakuza were after his blood and he needed a safe place for a while. He assured me if things ever became difficult for me in Edo, then Hana would be able to get me out safely.”
I stared at him in bewilderment. Who was this man who could call both nobles and yakuza his friends? And why might he need to get out of Edo secretly?
“Don’t worry,” he said soothingly. “None of it matters, Terue-chan. Not to us. Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” I said simply.
He nodded, clearly pleased. “Then truly nothing else matters.”
He kissed me gently on my forehead. I trembled at his touch, just as I had trembled when Lord Dai had touched me. But what a world of difference lay between the two experiences!
Seemon stepped back and looked at me, his gaze taking me in from head to geta. I waited, taking pleasure in his obvious delight in my presence.
“Seemon.” I whispered his name and understood that it was already precious to me.
“Terue. Shining blessing. Dear one.”
He held his arms out wide, and I simply folded into him, content for the moment to feel him against me. He kissed my ear and I giggled as it tickled. His breath huffed in amusement and his mouth moved across my face, finally finding my lips. I froze. What was I supposed to do?
He moved his face away slightly.
“Have you never been kissed, Terue?”
I almost laughed aloud. “Japanese men do not kiss. Or at least, they do not kiss on the lips.”
“Then I shall teach you something new today.”
His lips moved back to my mouth. His tongue flicked my lips and I shivered with pleasure, even more so when his tongue parted my lips and forced itself lightly into my mouth. I had no idea how to respond, so I stayed with my mouth ajar as his tongue ran over my teeth, finally flirting with the tip of my own tongue. The sensation was so pleasurable that I gasped and unintentionally bit his lips.
“Ah, but that is delicious.”
Seemon’s voice was throaty with pleasure and I closed my eyes in relief. Lord Dai seemed happy for me to bestow small hurts on him. Perhaps all men were the same? He slid to the futon, taking me willingly with him. I felt his hands running down my robe, his fingers tugging at the knot of my obi. I was about to reach down and help with the intricate tie when I realized there was no need—he had already loosened it. The thought skipped through my mind that he must have had practice undoing a Japanese woman’s intricate clothing. I pushed it aside deliberately. I would let nothing disturb this moment.
He slid my kimono and undergarments aside. I felt his gaze on my body. I longed to open my eyes, to see if he liked what he saw, but I dared not. What if I saw an expression of disappointment on his face?
“The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor. Thy belly is like a heap of wheat, set about with lilies. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory. How fair and pleasant art thou, oh love, for delights!”
He crooned the words softly. It barely meant anything to me at all, but the words themselves were lovely, and I understood with infinite delight that he was complimenting me. He leaned forward and flicked his tongue into my belly button. His voice buzzed against my empty stomach.
“Those words were written many hundreds of years ago, by the wisest king the world has ever known. They are from my people’s holy book.” I approved of that. I had no idea what the gaijin religion was, but surely it couldn’t be so very wrong if it contained such beautiful words. “They are the words of a king, when his queen from a foreign land came to him for the first time. Do they please you?”
I nodded. I had no words. Certainly none that could hope to match the poetry of those Seemon had just spoken to me. He smiled at me and then dipped his head again so that his tongue trailed down the slight bowl of my belly and dipped into my black moss. I hissed with pleasure.
His tongue lingered for a moment and then he sat back, watching me. I realized he was expecting a response, but I had no idea at all what he wanted, what I should do. Oh, I had seen the shunga in the pillow books. And I had pleased Lord Dai, somehow. I wanted nothing more than to pleasure Seemon, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I felt gauche and very, very young.
To my profound relief, he solved the problem for me.
He pried the knot of his sash undone and then shrugged off his robe entirely. Another unknown to add to the strange wonders of this strangest day! Japanese men did not appear naked in front of women, not even their wives and concubines. I had noticed it in the shunga and had asked the other geisha how it came about that the women were nearly always naked and the men fully clothed, with their robes flung open at the most? They had stared at me as if I were asking a stupid question and I had felt very silly. Tamayu answered grudgingly.
“That’s just the way it is. When you finally acquire a lover, you’ll find it doesn’t matter at all.”
I had thought at the time it seemed unfair, that the men should be able to see the whole of their woman’s body whilst their partner had a peek and nothing more. But it seemed Tamayu did not, after all, know everything! I stared at Seemon’s nakedness hungrily.
His chest was deeply muscled and had a light down of hair on it, slightly darker than the hair on his head. The contrast to his white skin was exciting and I shuddered with pleasure. The line of hair continued down in an arrow to his navel, and my eyes followed it down quite naturally. Down, and further down, to his black moss. To my amazement, his black moss was almost black. I thought that the further away from the sun his body was hidden, the darker his hair became. The idea pleased me greatly and I smiled widely.
“Ah, Terue. My poor body amuses you. I am deeply sad.”
“Oh no! Not at all!”
I was horrified until I realized he was teasing me. I placed my hand flat on his chest and gave him a little shove. Immediately, he caught hold of my hand and raised it to his mouth, taking each finger in turn and sucking the tip very gently.
“Ah.”
I closed my eyes with pleasure and his tongue trailed into my palm, licking and nibbl
ing. The pleasure was so great I felt goosebumps erupt all over my skin.
Finished with my fingers, he released my hand and leaned forward to lick each nipple in turn. When he removed his head, the early morning cool made them stand erect. Suddenly, I understood the very fine line between pain and pleasure.
I could take no more. Forgetting everything that Auntie and Saki had instilled into me, I lurched forward with no grace at all and leaned into him, rubbing my head on his chest and wrapping my arms around him. I didn’t care. I knew nothing except the need to have him as close to as much of me as possible.
He patted kisses on the top of my head. Took my ear in his mouth and bit it gently. Trailed his tongue down my neck to suckle at my breasts. By the time his mouth had reached my navel, I was on fire for him. I felt that if he took a moment more to enter me, then I would explode.
“What do you like?” I heard him whisper, his voice hoarse. “What can I do for you that will give you great pleasure?”
“Touch me. Please.” I was trembling. I wanted to tell him that I needed him to slide his fingers in my black moss. To rub them up and down until I was ready for his tree. But the words stuck in my throat, and all I could do was to whisper “please” again.
He understood what I wanted better than I knew myself. His head slid down my stomach and his teeth plucked at my black moss. I reared against him, moaning deep in my throat. He waited for a heartbeat and then his nose and lips were sliding into my sex, rubbing up and down. His face seemed cold to me, until I understood that it was my internal heat that was the greater. I arched my back to find more of him and wailed out loud when he moved away from me.
“There are many games we can play, Terue,” he whispered. I wriggled impatiently. I had no time for words. I threw myself back on the futon, my arms flung out and my legs as wide apart as I could force them. My muscles complained at the violent movement, but I didn’t care. I watched Seemon’s face and saw the fire in his eyes and knew that my moment had come.
“Wait,” he said again, but I could not. Instead of speaking, I launched myself off the futon, wrapping my arms and legs around him, dragging him back down with me.
“Lie still,” he commanded. I could feel his tree sliding down my belly, and in spite of his instruction, I reared up to him. I couldn’t help it. I was on fire for him. For a single second, I thought of how it had been with Lord Dai. His old man’s body and withered tree.
Seemon was watching my face intently. He spoke very softly. “Dear Terue. I will never hurt you. I will never do anything you do not want me to do. Does that please you?”
“Yes. Oh yes.” And truly, I was delighted by his words. Not just what he said, but with the promise that he would be there for me again and again and again.
And then he was sliding his erect tree into my moss. Probing for my hidden place. I held my breath, tense with fear and excitement. There was a flash of pain, so intense it made me squeal out loud, and then Seemon filled me and I gave way to a pleasure so great I would not have believed it could exist a moment before. I felt him hesitate.
“Seemon. Do not stop. No.” Even as I spoke, I thrust myself against him and wrapped my legs around his waist, imprisoning him in me. I felt a moment of curious resistance, and then it was too late for both of us.
He thrust at me, his rhythm quickly becoming more urgent. I understood instinctively that he was close to bursting the fruit. I wanted to scream out loud, to tell him it was too early for me, but I doubted he would hear me in the midst of his passion. Instead, instinct came to my aid.
I loosened my grip on him and wriggled away, until only the very tip of his tree remained in my secret place. My flesh felt very cold without him, but I was determined. I saw the confusion in his expression and almost laughed at the thought that I could control his passion so easily. Very, very slowly I allowed us to come together again. I knew instantly that I was right. I had broken his rhythm and slowed him down.
Taking advantage of my moment, I rolled over so that Seemon was lying beneath me. I understood at once that I was in charge. Slow, fast. Gentle, hard. It was all up to me to dictate how I wanted him to make love to me.
The knowledge was hugely exciting.
His eyes were closed, his lips parted. I watched his face as I rode him, saw the pleasure my every movement was giving to him. Felt my own heat rise and rise until the fire in my belly consumed me entirely and I understood why the word for orgasm—yonaki—meant cries in the night. I was moaning out loud, unable to stop the feeling taking over everything.
And to my joy, Seemon burst the fruit with me. He did not cry out loud as I did, but his lips peeled back in a rictus that mimicked pain. His hips ground against me and I laughed out loud as I felt his hot seed gush into my body.
We slowed together. Finally satiated, I slid off him and lay on the futon at his side. Seemon propped himself on his elbow and pulled the bedclothes over my body tenderly. I snuggled into his shoulder.
“Terue.”
I waited for him to say more, and when he did not, I raised my head to look at him. I put my head on one side, smiling encouragement.
“I was the first.” It was a statement, not a question.
I nodded. “Yes. Lord Dai is unable,” I said simply.
His face crumpled, and for a terrible second, I thought he was going to cry. I was horribly hurt and confused. I had expected him to be pleased that he had taken the gift of my maidenhood. What was wrong? Suddenly, I felt like crying myself.
“You didn’t like me? I did something wrong?” I pleaded with him to answer me.
Seemon raised his fingers to my face and traced the line of my cheekbone. “I like you too much, Terue.” His voice shook. “Oh my God. What have I done?”
Sixteen
It is said that one
Should always look forward with
Anticipation
My pleasure crumbled to hurt.
I had expected Seemon would be delighted to find he had been the first man who had ever entered me, and I was bewildered and terribly hurt that he seemed to be—not angry exactly—but deeply worried. Nor would he explain to me. Far too soon, he insisted that we had to go. I stiffened, keeping my face calm. I would not let him see my pain.
“This way leads into the garden, in the far corner. Wait a moment, until you’re sure nobody is watching, and then slip across to the tea house.”
As I put my hand out to slide the screen aside, he put his own hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
“Terue-chan. Forgive me. I had no idea that you were still untouched. I’m deeply honored that you gave yourself to me.” I took a deep breath. That was better, but not what I wanted to hear. “Now is not the time for us to talk. Not the place either. Will you come to my home? Give me the chance to explain?”
Would I? For a moment, I was unsure. Then he leaned against me and said “Please” so intently that my doubts fled and I was suddenly aflame with excitement.
“I’ve rented a house on the Street of the Goldsmiths, just outside the walls of the Floating World. The fourth house along on your right. You can’t mistake it—it’s the only house in the whole street that isn’t a merchants’ shop. Do you know how to get there?”
“I’ve been there,” I said cautiously. Lord Dai had taken me to buy trinkets. I wished I hadn’t thought of my danna at that precise moment.
“Will you come and see me tomorrow? Please?”
I wanted to say yes. But how could I? Auntie would be back tomorrow. So would the boys. Of course, now that I was a geisha, I was at liberty to go out at any time I was free, but whenever I ventured outside the tea house, I was expected to take a maid with me, and I was never certain that one of the boys wasn’t my shadow.
“I can’t,” I said reluctantly. “I couldn’t go out without a maid. And one of the boys could follow me.”
He nodded. “The maid we can deal with. Choose the oldest girl—I think she’s called Aimi.”
I was amazed that he had bother
ed to learn the maids’ names. Half the time, I was sure the patrons had difficulty in telling us geisha apart, especially after a few flasks of Auntie’s superb sake.
“Why her?”
“Because she’s old and plain. She gets fewer presents from the patrons than the other maids, and she’s bitter because of it. I feel sorry for her, and I’ve always made a point of thanking her for her services and made sure she gets a decent amount of flower money.” He smiled wryly. “Because of that, Aimi will do anything to please me, poor woman. Get her on her own and explain to her frankly that you’re going to visit your lover, but that you don’t want anybody to know, especially the boys. Tell her I will reward her very well for her discretion.”
I barely heard his last words. He had said I was his lover! My emotions had been at the bottom of the well a moment ago. Now, they soared with the birds.
“But what about the boys?” I murmured.
“Don’t worry about them. The kabuki has a new production tomorrow. Bigger loves the theater. I’ll send a message to the tea house tonight to tell him that he’s been invited to be the honored guest of Ichikawa Danjuro, the lead actor. And of course, should he wish to take a friend with him, the kabuki would be delighted to welcome them both. Bigger would never miss a chance like that, and, naturally, he’ll want Big to share the honor of going with him. The play starts around mid-morning and will go on until the light fades. They’ll be out of the way all day. Hana will either be delighted with the success of her expedition, in which case she’ll be too busy making plans for the new girl to notice that you’re missing for a few hours, or if it was a failure, she’ll be angry and not stir from her room all day.”
I stared at him, wonderingly. It seemed my gaijin was well enough acquainted with the lead actor in the kabuki to ask him a favor and get it. And how well he knew the workings of the tea house and all of us who lived in it! What other mysteries did he hide? I shivered with pleasure at the knowledge that I would find out. Soon.