“Mar.” His voice was low. Warning. Jaw clenched. His posture drooped. He started to step toward her, paused, and then stood right there. Never able to truly move forward.
“You don’t need me. And I need you. And I can’t be the one who loves you more.” She hurried toward her car. This time, she didn’t look back.
Eli didn’t think she knew how to be alone, but if she were totally honest? She’d spent a good deal of the past years alone. It might not make any sense to anyone else, because technically she’d been with Scotty. Spent tons of time with him. Looking back? She’d been lonelier than she’d ever realized.
“Marlee.” This time, her name wasn’t a warning. It was a plea. But Marlee couldn’t go back. The time had come for the future. Her future. Their baby’s future. Even Eli’s.
She shook her head.
The ball was in her court. But she was done playing.
She dug the key fob from her bra and clicked it. She didn’t need to glance behind her to know that Eli would wait for her to be safe in the car before he went back inside.
Because despite everything Eli ever said—all the starts and stops, everything she knew to be true about him—deep down, he was always watching out for the ones he cared about.
Until he realized it for himself, he’d always be stuck. Always going backward.
As long as that was happening, she had no place in his life. There was only forward for Marlee.
“Sorry, dude.” Marlee gave Lothario a snuggle. “He’s got to figure out what he wants. Until then, it’s you, me, and Thumper.”
Velma had sent Marlee some magazine articles on pregnancy. One of them encouraged her to give the baby a cutesy name. The idea was that if the baby had an adorable-sounding name, then giving birth to it wouldn’t scare the crap out of her so much.
So far, it’d only worked minimally. Since she was still in the first hours of the experiment, she figured she’d withhold judgement on whether this actually worked or not.
Lothario stuck his nose in the air. He seemed to understand they were moving out of Eli’s apartment, and he was not happy.
Marlee had packed her bags, loaded them in the car, and now, she was waiting. Waiting for Eli. Because even if she was moving forward and he was standing still, this was his Thumper. He deserved to know where she was going to be—a long-term motel until she found a real apartment.
After she’d left the fundraiser, she’d picked up Lothario from Babushka and then texted Sadie, Velma, Heather, and Claire so they’d know she was fine. Then she’d texted Kelli and Becca, but Sadie had already filled them in.
She was as fine as she could be, given that she was pretty sure she and Eli were over. Over-ish. She held hope that he’d come around.
Someday.
Maybe.
She curled herself into a ball on the sofa, and she waited. Her eyes got heavy, her breathing steady. There was that space between being awake and being asleep, not fully conscious but not unconscious, and that’s where Marlee had settled when a knock on the door startled her awake. Her heart did the just-woke-up-not-where-I-should-be race.
Eli still wasn’t home.
Toes in the carpet, she padded to the front door where Lothario currently snuggled with one of Eli’s flip-flops. He gave her a don’t-you-dare-move-me look.
Winning his regard back after they left would take some time and probably an abundance of Pup-Peroni.
She glanced through the peephole.
Her dad.
Along with her mom.
Damn.
Still dressed in their black-tie attire—Dad in a traditional tux and Mom in her version of a little black dress. The LBD was floor length (not so little), but it had a slit up the side, which her mom totally pulled off. Marlee fully expected that they’d be angry after everything. Instead, they just looked worried.
Marlee pressed her forehead against the doorframe.
Her dad knocked louder, right next to her forehead.
Marlee opened the door.
“Hi.” She stepped back to let them through. “You two are out late.” She said this as though they hadn’t witnessed her confession of being pregnant, who the father was, and the fallout in a ballroom filled with their peers
“Marlee.” Her dad’s edges were often sharp—he wore suits to the office, polo shirts to the country club, and he took no shit from anyone. Well, except Marlee, but it could hardly be considered taking her shit when he had essentially cut her off and cut her out. So, yes, his edges were often sharp. Tonight, they weren’t so harsh. “May we come in?”
“Sure.” She gestured to the living room. “Yeah.” She pressed a hand through her hair, doing a finger-comb she hoped would settle her just-awake hair.
Lothario, apparently pissed at her parents, raised his chihuahua nose in the air and marched his furry butt to the bedroom.
“Come sit down. Can I get you something to drink?” she asked.
“Maybe in a bit,” her mom replied, tone soft like cotton candy.
This was new. Usually, when Marlee screwed up, they took a hard line with her.
Marlee might’ve expected a lot of things to happen that night. What she did not expect was her dad to wrap her in a bear hug and not let go.
“We messed up,” he said into her hair.
“What?” She pulled back.
“Is he here?” her mom asked. “Eli?” She took in the apartment, nowhere near the glitz they were used to. “We’d like to apologize to him.”
Marlee’s heart did a little dip. “No. Not yet.”
Her mom nodded. “We’d like to meet him. Officially.”
“I transferred Scotty to Cincinnati. Talked to Jim, got it all settled.” Dad dropped his arm and pulled a key from his pocket. “After everything tonight, we sat down with Scotty and told him. He agreed to sign the house over to you. He’ll be out of there tonight.”
The cool metal of the silver key pressed into Marlee’s palm.
“We also made some calls.” Her mom cleared her throat. “Your cards are turned on. We’d like to start some paperwork to transfer control to you early.”
“We don’t like that Eli could get a chunk of it,” her dad added.
“Eli won’t want it.” Eli was a lot of things. A jerk, he was not.
“We believe that,” her dad said. “Had a nice talk with his friends after you left. You said he was a good man. We believe you.”
“We just forgot you’re not so little anymore.” Mom squeezed Marlee’s hand. “We thought being firm when you came back married was the thing to do. We didn’t realize it’d cost us…you.”
Marlee tightened her grip on Scotty’s key in the other hand. Her eyes had gotten hot.
“We’d hoped that you and Scotty would work things out.” Her dad’s voice was rough. Which made sense, he’d adored Scotty. “We hoped he’d see he made a mistake calling things off.”
“And we thought if you had no other choice, you’d come around to see that he made a mistake, too,” her mom added. “We shouldn’t have gotten involved.”
“It’s pretty clear if you’re waiting tables in defiance and Scotty is dating again, the two of you won’t be finding your way back to each other.” Her dad was apparently resigned to the idea that Scotty wouldn’t be the son he had always hoped he’d be.
Of all the things that made her sad about her breakup with Scotty, that was the thing she couldn’t forgive. That Scotty hadn’t just broken it off with her, he broke it off with her and then tried to hold on to her parents.
There was one thing that needed to be clarified. “I waited tables because Eli needed the help. His staff was all sick. I would’ve done that if I had Grandma’s money or not.”
Now that? That surprised them. Clearly.
“Then you must care very much for him,” her dad said.
She did. She really did. “I do.”
“Then I’m certain we’ll love him, too.” Her mom gave her hand a squeeze.
“Eli needs
some time to get used to the idea that he’s going to be a dad.” Marlee glanced around at the apartment he still hadn’t returned to. “I’m not sure he’ll ever get there.”
There was a time in the very recent past when having her parents show up at her door ready to give her money back would have put Marlee over the moon. Tonight, she just wanted to know where Eli had disappeared to.
“Marlee, we saw the man when he came back without you.” Her dad tucked a chunk of her hair behind her ear. “He’ll come around.”
She hoped, really hoped, Eli would see that all he needed to do was stop going backward.
She’d just have to keep hoping…
Chapter Twenty-Three
Marlee had left.
“She said she’s going back to her old house.” Sadie held her phone up to Eli, showing the text.
Scotty had moved out. Marlee had her money. She had her house.
Marlee was set.
She may have been the one with chronic asthma, but Eli was the one who couldn’t catch his breath.
“You’re just going to let her move out?” Sadie asked, all sass.
The fundraiser was complete, but the committee chair had been frosty with him after everything—who knew if he’d ever get another job with them. Afterward, he’d driven Sadie back to his parents’ house. Then he stuck around, telling himself it was because he hadn’t talked to his mom and dad in a while.
If he were being more honest with himself, he stuck around because he didn’t know what to say to Marlee. This was confirmed when he realized his mom and dad were already asleep, but he still stuck around.
He was having a kid.
With Marlee.
And she was moving out.
Eli held his hand at the back of his neck, rubbing the knot there.
He’d fucked up a lot of shit in his life. Never anything that mattered this much.
“Eli?” His mother came from the back bedroom, tying her robe around her waist. “What are you doing here?” His mother’s eyebrows furrowed. “Where is Marlee?”
“I don’t know.” He went with the truth.
“Elias Santiago Howard,” his mother said, her words low. “Have you lost your mind?”
Sadie crossed her arms. “This ought to be excellent.”
“You’re nicer when you’re not in Colorado. You know that?” he asked.
“You’re nicer when you’re not knocking up my friend,” she replied in a huff.
“Eli.” His mother clapped her hands together like she’d done when he was a child. “Sit.”
He sat his ass at the table as directed.
“Sadie.” His mother pointed toward the hallway leading to the bedrooms. “Time for bed.”
“I don’t think so.” Sadie shook her head. Instead of listening to their mother like any of the other Howard children, Sadie grabbed her purse and marched out the front door.
Eli probably should’ve been worried, what with the way the blood vessel in his mother’s forehead was pounding. He wasn’t, only because he knew Sadie was going to Marlee.
He didn’t want Marlee to be alone.
His mother dug through the cupboards. His parents’ house hadn’t been remodeled since the eighties—the appliances were old, but they worked, the carpet was old, but it worked. All the times he’d tried to do any updating had been firmly yet politely declined.
“I like Marlee.” His mother placed a pan on the stove, poured milk from the Meadow Gold container, and turned the flame on low. “And I love you.”
He knew better than to reply. His mother had a point to make, so he knew his job was to sit down, hush, and let her do it.
“When you got married to her, I thought, ‘This is not a mistake. This is a good thing for Eli, and he will be good for Marlee.’”
She’d thought that? He hadn’t realized—
“She is wild, and you’re stable.” She smiled a flash of white. “Balance.”
“And then I messed it up,” he said. “I’m not who she needs me to be.”
“Eli.” She sat across from him. “You are always what anyone needs you to be. It’s time you are who you need you to be.”
He stood, unable to stay still. “I don’t understand.”
“When I got sick…”
Eli flinched. He couldn’t help it.
“When I got sick,” she said again. “You were there for the girls. You were there for me. You were there for Dad. Not once during those years did you put yourself first.”
She wasn’t wrong.
“And in the years that followed, you continued with this.” She stood to stir the milk, adding a handful of chocolate chips. “Then you tried to cut everyone out of your life. But in attempting to cut everyone off, you continued putting yourself behind. Because you never really cut anyone off, you only told yourself you did.”
Was she right?
“Being alone is not the only cause of loneliness.” She pulled two thick ceramic mugs from the cupboard. “Sometimes, it’s being afraid.”
He took the offered mug, wrapped his hands around it.
“You love her,” she said. “And you don’t know what to do with that.”
Did he? Did he love Marlee?
“Maybe,” he said to the mug of hot chocolate before him.
She tipped his chin up so he had to look at her. “Then you tell her.”
He took a sip of the rich chocolate.
“You tell her how you feel,” she continued. “You tell her that you’re scared. And you stop hiding your life from everyone else under the disguise of protection.”
“She’s already gone.” He glanced down then back up to catch his mother’s gaze.
“I doubt that.” She clinked her mug against his.
They finished the cocoa. He went home.
And he was right. Marlee was already gone.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was Monday, which meant coffee on the corner. Marlee distributed about twenty cups of java along with cookies Heather had given her to hand out.
She may have had her money back. Sadie may have been back in town. Heather, Velma, and Claire may have all checked in on her regularly. But Eli had been incommunicado.
He was in the middle of buying his building. Marlee knew from talking to Sadie that he had finally asked his sisters to come on as investors. They’d been thrilled to finally be able to pay him back.
Marlee picked up her Lothario purse—he was hanging on to his pissy mood for a lot longer than she’d expected. All the Pup-Peroni at Wal-Mart wasn’t swaying him to her cause.
Empty drink carriers in hand, she headed back toward her SUV. She was due to work at Jase’s in fifteen. Money woes may have become a thing of the past, but she liked working at The Flower Pot. Liked making pretty things that brought others joy. She’d just donate her paychecks to Babushka’s retirement home and Babushka’s pet projects—whatever those might be each day.
She’d have to ask her CPA if purchasing a batch of sex toys in bulk for a senior citizen’s project was an effective write-off.
That thought had her smiling.
Seeing Eli and Sadie milling around her Jag? That had her frowning.
“What are you doing here?” Marlee asked.
Of course, she knew she’d be seeing Eli again. She had just hoped it would be when she expected it and had time to prepare her heart.
“I’m not here as your friend. I’m here as his attorney.” Sadie was in full legal mode.
“Aren’t you my attorney?” Marlee asked. Also, best friends couldn’t be the attorney of the other best friend’s ex. Even if the ex was the attorney’s blood relative. Marlee was pretty sure that was written in the manual.
“Not on this case.” Sadie slid her gaze to her brother and then back to Marlee. “Sorry, he’s making me.”
Marlee moved to get past them. “Today’s not a good day for this.”
She worried no day would be.
“Give us five minutes?” Sadie set her hand
on Marlee’s arm.
Marlee looked at Eli. His gaze was burning a hole right through the icy veneer she’d sworn she’d hang on to when he was around.
“Eli?” Marlee asked. “What are you doing?”
“He’s not allowed to talk.” Sadie was back to attorney mode. “When he talks, things go wrong. So he’s going to not talk for the duration.”
I’ll just mess it up. Eli did his best to telepathically reassure Marlee that he wasn’t there to screw her over. He was there to win her back. That’s what Sadie keeps saying anyway.
“Is there a place we can go sit?” Sadie asked, gesturing to the tables and chairs outside of Starbucks.
“Sure.” Marlee led the way, Lothario whining in Eli’s general direction.
He’d missed the little dude, too. Marlee looked good. Not that she ever didn’t look good, but she didn’t look like the miserable pile that he felt like. She looked like she was going to be just fine.
That’s what worried him. She’d be just fine without him, and he was convinced that was not the case for himself.
Marlee sat on one of the black metal chairs, her posture precise.
Sadie spread out the documents she’d had Eli sign earlier across the table.
“Now, my client wanted to let you know, in person, that he’s contesting the divorce.” Man, Sadie as an attorney on the other side was scary—she held her posture firm, her eyes sharp, and her words hard as granite.
Marlee sucked in a breath.
Eli wanted to reach out and hold her. Reassure her that this was a good thing. He didn’t. Sadie told him to zip it, so he would.
“Eli?” Marlee asked, her voice cracking.
He just shook his head. The lump in his throat practically clogged his esophagus with the pain reflected in her eyes.
“He doesn’t feel that the current structure is fair to both parties.” Sadie slid one of the documents to Marlee. “He wants you to have half of his estate, the catering company, and his future restaurant. Half of the profits from both will belong to you.”
Just the Tip of the Iceberg: Mile High Matched Books 1-3 Page 71