by Scott, S. L.
As Tiffany licks and nips at my neck, Ginger nibbles my earlobe while copping a feel of my bulge. Knowing we’re bordering on our own porn, I need to get these girls out of the store before we get thrown out. Moving forward with an arm around each of them, we stumble out from behind the curtain and towards the front check-out desk. I’m finally starting to feel like my old self again and breathe easier knowing this where I shine. I’ve got my mojo back.
Rounding the last aisle, we run straight into Mallory. She drops her movie as the girls drop theirs. Instinctively, I bend down, catching her arm and trying to help her, but she yanks it out of my hand. Her face is pale, paler than her usual Mainland shade of pale.
“Don’t touch me,” she says, warning me while eyeing the girls.
Still squatting, we both look down at the movies lying on the ground. She’s quiet, probably processing the information. The girls behind me giggle, and I see Mallory’s eyes look up and over my shoulder. Her cheeks flush with the sweetest shade of pink, reminding me of our first day together. I gulp, too humiliated for words.
Apparently, she’s not. “You’re disgusting, Evan!” Her voice is low. Her words are for my ears alone.
My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and I want to tell her this is all because of her. I need to forget you and these girls are going to get me over you. But I can’t, and it’s better that I don’t. She’s too smart to believe that bullshit and too beautiful to have to listen to it.
She stands up with her movie in hand, still pink-cheeked and embarrassed, even though I should be the one embarrassed. While she fumbles for her wallet, the girls reach down to pick up their movies. I stand, silent, unable to say what I really want, and watch Mallory completely shut down in front of me. All the emotions that she so readily wore on her sleeve before are gone. There are no witty, smart-assed comments to accompany this awkward situation.
My heart breaks even more watching her tell the clerk that she can’t find her money in her purse. She’s frantic as she glances back at us, digging in her bag. Looking at the girls caught up in their own world and oblivious to what’s happening right in front of them, Mallory says, “Just forget it. I’ll come back.”
“Take the movie. I’ll pay for it on my account,” I offer with a shaky voice.
“No.” She starts to walk off holding her head high, but I can tell she’s struggling.
I grab the movie and run to her before she exits. “Take the movie, please.”
“She owes a late fee to be able to rent that,” the clerk shouts at us.
I look back at him, and snap, “I’ll cover the damn late fee. Just put it on my account.”
When I turn back, Mallory is leaving the store, movie in hand. She doesn’t know I’m watching as she runs to the car, gets in, and leans her head against the steering wheel. I stand there stunned to the spot and watch as she cries. I want to go to her, but I know it’s better if I don’t.
I have royally fucked this up and the only thought that crosses my mind is that I lost her before I even had her.
12
Evan
I pay the rental fees for all three movies, including Mallory’s late fee. The girls and I get back into the car just as my stomach churns at the reckoning of my decisions, the choices I’m making. The girls’ high-pitched giggles fill the car making me realize I need a drink, and a very strong one at that.
I drive to the nearest liquor store, this time leaving the girls in the car to wait because they are a spectacle in public. I find the bottle of whiskey I’m looking for and go to the counter to pay.
That’s when I hear it. “What’s up, baby brother?”
Taking a deep breath, I turn around slowly, taking in the sight before me—Kate. I lean my back against the counter, cross my arms, and smile while shaking my head. “Big sister, you’re in town for what, like twelve hours and already stocking up?” I eye the three bottles she’s holding.
She looks at me with a smirk so familiar it could be my own, and says, “I like to be prepared.” Setting the bottles down, she tells the cashier, “He’s buying.”
I pull out my wallet and toss two large bills on the counter.
“It’s good to see you, Evan,” she says, hugging me.
I embrace her because sometimes I really do have the coolest sister on the planet. Yes, and sometimes she’s the biggest bitch, but she caught me in a sentimental moment. Strange enough, I’m happy to see her.
We walk out of the liquor store, and she points at my car. Tiffany has joined Ginger in the backseat to fill the time by making out in my absence. “Evan, dump the trash, and let’s go get drunk. I just got in, and I’m ready to party.”
I laugh knowing everything about these girls is wrong, very wrong. My sister’s demand lays out the facts to face what I knew I was doing was wrong. When did I become such an asshole? “Where are we drinking?”
“Home,” she says, smiling. “I’ll see you there.”
When I open the door, Tiffany says, “Come back here and join us, sexy.”
“Ladies, I’m gonna drop you back at the hotel.”
“Why, because of that blonde girl you were talking to? Ah, c’mon, we’ll be better than her, I promise,” Tiffany whines.
Ginger cuts in. “Or, we can ask her to join us.”
I scoff, completely grossed out by the thought. “That’s my sister! And, yes, because of her. She just flew in and I need to deal with some family business.” I start the car and they pout all the way back to the hotel.
After stopping the car before I reach the hotel carport, I jump out to open the door for them. Ginger runs her finger under my chin. “Maybe a rain check?”
I chuckle, now noticing the bellhops and valet guys up ahead, rolling their eyes at me. It’s not the first time I’ve stood here dropping a girl off before. Looking back at her, I say, “I’m sorry. I’ve got a crazy schedule right now. Have a good vacation.” I leave no opening for another rendezvous.
They turn without so much as a goodbye, and I get back into my car and drive off. I don’t feel bad. I actually feel like that might be the best decision I’ve made in days, at least since meeting Mallory. Mallory. Mallory … Mallory. I still don’t know what to make of her. She’s invading my thoughts more than anyone ever has and I’m just not comfortable with that.
When I get home, I walk into the main house and straight for the kitchen. “Hi, Ms. Chart,” I say, greeting our longtime house manager. She’s great, but I usually avoid the main house and any potential witnesses to my behavior. I know she would never rat me out to my parents, but for some reason I don’t want to disappoint her. I respect her too much to let her see the person I’ve become.
“Evan, what a pleasant surprise. How are you?”
“I’m good. You know, just working—”
“Lots of partying I hear, too,” she says, teasing with an all-knowing smile.
“Yeah, a little of that, too.”
“Katie’s upstairs changing clothes. She told me she’ll be down in a few minutes. Can I get you something to eat, honey?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay, well, I’m off in thirty, so let me know if you need me before then.”
She’s a great woman. She’s really the mom I never had. I have a mom, just not one like that.
“You going to call your loser posse over?” Kate asks, sauntering into the kitchen.
I lean my hands on the counter between us. “I thought it could just be you and me tonight.” I take the liquor out of the bag and twist off the cap of my bottle.
She ruffles my hair, and says, “You old softie. Now get me a drink, baby brother.”
Out back, we plant ourselves on loungers in the grass overlooking the ocean with a drink in hand. We don’t talk. Instead, we enjoy the view.
As the sun sets, Kate looks at me, and says, “They’re not happy if you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t,” I reply, my tone as cold as the drink in my hand. I swirl the ice around in th
e crystal glass and listen to the tinkering it makes as it hits the sides.
“The Fourth of July party is still on. Mom will be here in two weeks to finish the planning.”
“Of course, how could I forget about the annual party? It doesn’t matter what’s happening in the world, in their marriage, or with their son, but hell, the party must go on. A toast.” I hold my glass in the air, letting my sarcasm drip. “To the best family a kid could ever have.”
“You’re being overly dramatic. It’s not that bad.”
“Look around, Katie. This house, our cars, our education, none of this has ever been about family. It’s only about how we look to the outside world, how we’re perceived. Would you spend time with them if they weren’t paying your expenses? If you were broke? Think about it. We only fit the mold of what the ‘proper’ family should look like. That doesn’t make us the perfect family. I’m sick of it. I’d rather have a family than possessions. I guess that’s where we differ.”
“You’re not sick of that hundred and twenty-thousand dollar car. You’re not sick of your free rent in this house. You’re just sick that they don’t cater to your every bitch and moan, Evan. Well, it’s time to face it, they aren’t perfect parents, but they’re all we have. So this is it. This is your life. Welcome to it.”
I down my drink then toss the glass over my head into the pool.
“Why do you do that? You know that could break in there.”
I get up, begrudgingly, and walk to the side of the pool where I dive in. Water is my safe haven. I find solace in the water, whether it’s a pool or the ocean. I always feel better when I’m surrounded by it. It’s so easy to block out the rest of the world in here. Opening my eyes, I see the sparkle of the crystal on the bottom and force myself deeper to grab it. I emerge, setting it on the side. “There it is, all in one piece.”
“Good. Now get me another drink, please.”
After tossing my soaked shirt poolside, I make another round of drinks in the kitchen. I hand Kate hers before I jump back in the pool and hang on the edge, resting my chin on the rock border.
She moves to a chair that faces me. “Tell me what else is on your mind. I can tell it’s more than just the parents.”
I duck under the water debating if I want to share my thoughts, my concerns with her. When I come up, she says, “It must be bad if you’re hiding in there.”
“I’m not hiding—”
“No one knows you like I do. Just talk to me.”
She’s right. She may be a pain in the ass, but when the chips are down, she’s always there for me. “There’s this new girl—”
“Wait, let me get this straight, Baby Bro. You’re all worked up over a girl? That’s a first in forever.” She laughs then sips her drink. I give her a pointed look, so she softens a bit when she says, “Okay, I’ll be nice. Tell me about this new girl and what’s so special about her that she’s got you all twisted inside.”
I sink a little lower in the water, embarrassed I’ve exposed a weakness, but needing to talk about this with someone. “Her name’s Mallory. Sunny told Zach she’s here for the summer.”
“That’s better than just for a week like your usuals.”
“I’m going to ignore that comment, Kate. She’s also working at Kehones—”
“Wait, Sunny from Kehones?”
“Yeah, you remember her?”
“Uh-huh. So, her and Zach finally hooked up?”
I chuckle. “No, he still doesn’t have the balls to ask her out. But he finally started saying more than ‘I’d like a burger with fries’ to her.”
“He’s sweet, but I might have to get involved in that situation or we’ll all be old and gray before he makes a move. Now tell me more about this Mallory or is her name all you know?”
“I know a little more,” I say, closing my eyes. Memories of her body moving against mine and the feel of her heated skin flood my mind. I open my eyes. “She’s smart, which is a complete fucking turn-on—”
“And to think I thought you were just into tits and ass.”
“I am, but when she also has a brain, she’s perfect.” I jump out of the pool, sit on the edge, and take three gulps from my drink. “She’s different. There’s something about her. She’s frustrating too, so fucking frustrating and strong.” I stop to think about if I’m willing to share anymore, but I don’t think I can. This conversation is getting way too deep for my comfort level.
Kate has a thoughtful expression as she leans back in her chair absorbing what I’ve told her. “What was up with the girls in the car if you’re this in love with someone else?”
“I’m not in love!” I’m not in love, I repeat to myself. It’s only been two weeks. I’m not in love! That is one thing I do know. “I was trying something … sort of like an experiment.”
“It wouldn’t have worked. You know that, right? It could’ve been the best sex of your life and you wouldn’t see it that way because they aren’t her. And if you were using them to get her off your mind, it would have only been a temporary fix.” She takes a sip of her drink and smiles, like a big sister who actually loves her brother kind of smile. “If you’re so hung up on her, why aren’t you with her?”
I lean forward, running my hand through the water. “I’m not sure.” I pause before adding, “I can’t. I can’t do a relationship.”
Kate sits next to me, dangling her feet in the water, and putting a comforting arm around my shoulders. “You need to let all that stuff go. You deserve to be happy. It’s time for you to move on.” Standing up, she offers me a hand out, and asks, “Are you sure you want to be with a girl that’s leaving in a few months anyway? That might not be the wisest choice.”
I take the offered hand, and get out. “She’s the wisest choice I could make these days.”
After kissing me on the cheek, she walks away. “Go with your heart, baby bro, and fuck expectations. Goodnight.”
“Night, Katie.”
I thought I had spent the last year flipping the bird at all expectations placed on me by my family, university, and everyone else only to have it pointed out by my sister that I am doing exactly what has been expected of me for years—a self-fulfilled prophecy. I’m screwing my life up just like they said I would.
I grumble into my house, stripping off my shorts, and flop down on the bed—the bed where I can feel her presence suffocating me. I roll over, burying my face into my pillow, as memories of her crash over me like a tidal wave. Mallory.
13
Evan
Chirping birds and sunshine are my alarm clock—a typical morning living in the islands, a far cry from the busy street sounds of Manhattan. Glimpsing the time, it’s past noon. So much for the morning. When I sit up, Zach is lounging on my couch reading a book.
He looks up, and says, “Morning, pretty boy.”
“What are you doing here?” I would’ve normally thrown a fuck in there, but I actually don’t mind Zach hanging out in my digs. He and Murphy are my best friends.
“Did you know that ‘the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’ uses—”
“Every letter in the alphabet? Yes.”
“What about a duck’s quack doesn’t echo? Freaky, huh?”
“What’s up with the weird facts, Z?” I ask, stretching my arms.
“Just making conversation. You want to grab a burger?”
“Yeah, give me ten and I’ll meet you out front.”
As I ride in his truck, I wonder aloud, “Let me guess where you want to eat.” He gives me that guilty expression that says so much. “Why don’t you just ask her out?”
He stares forward when he answers. “I don’t know. Sunny is different. I don’t want to screw it up. If she says no then the fantasy is over. I know that sounds strange, but I would rather have the fantasy then nothing at all.”
“What if she says yes?”
“I haven’t been able to take the risk and hope for that outcome yet.”
I shake my head, and la
ugh. “Dude, really? You haven’t been able to properly formulate a theory that results in that conclusion? It’s called life. Ever heard it of it? Life is all about decisions, risks, regrets.” I knock him in the arm, and say, “I’ve kept my distance from that girl for six months now. If you don’t do it, I will.”
He gives me an evil look that I didn’t know he was even capable of giving. “You better not, man. She’s a good girl. Don’t even look at her.”
“What? I don’t deserve to date a good girl?” The lack of response kind of says it all. I throw my hands up in surrender. “All right, all right. I won’t go near her,” I say, knowing that comment would incite him. I would never hit on my bud’s dream girl. I’m actually hoping to provoke him into action. How could Sunny turn Zach down? Zach is the best person I know. Everyone loves him. She’d be lucky to have him.
We pull up to Big Kehones and suddenly I’m faced with my own dilemma that I had conveniently buried on the drive over. Mallory. Is she working today? Do I want her to be? My stomach turns and suddenly I feel like I might be sick. I press on my stomach without thinking.
“You all right there, E?” Zach asks, concerned.
“Yeah.” Just irritated I have such a physical reaction to that girl.
We walk into the restaurant, but I don’t allow myself to do the only thing I really want to, which is look over at the bar. I don’t have to, I know she’s here. I can feel her presence. I give in and angle my head, scanning the bar without reward. Disappointment fills my chest.
I follow Zach to our usual table, but don’t even have a chance to sit before Murphy barrels in. “Boys, how the hell are ya?” He fists bumps both of us, sitting across from Zach and next to me.