by Scott, S. L.
She pecks me on the lips, and asks, “I’ll see you tonight?”
“Yeah,” I whisper with an added nod.
Zach and I watch as the girls drive off and then we make our way back down the path and into the main house.
“I need to take care of some stuff. It shouldn’t be long. Help yourself to coffee and breakfast.”
“Cool,” he replies, following me inside.
When I open the door into the kitchen area, my mother is standing, staring out the window, and drinking her coffee. I can tell by the lack of acknowledgment that she saw Mallory. I gulp and then address her, the proper way—the way she likes. “Good morning, Mother.”
“Good morning, Zach,” she says, not looking at me. That can’t be good.
“Good morning, Mrs. Ashford,” he replies, surprised.
She turns toward me, smiling, and says, “Evan, I’d like to speak with you for a few moments if you can spare the time. I know you must have a busy schedule between surfing, partying, and screwing classless girls, but do you think you might be able to squeeze a chat in?”
I’d say I’m shocked or outraged but this is her standard M.O. so I’m used to her passive aggressive bullshit. “I have time now.”
I follow her into the library and shut the doors behind me.
“Sit,” she says, pointing at a wingback chair stationed in front of the desk. She sits in the chair behind the desk and teepees her hands, resting her forehead against her fingers while closing her eyes, apparently, searching for the words to come to her. I’ve seen these dramatics before, but usually when we’re in New York when she has the grey clouds to back her mood. It all seems silly with the sunshine, blue sky, and palm trees outside the large picture window. She lifts her head suddenly, and smiles. “How are you, Evan?”
“Ummm … I’m fine.” I readjust in my seat. I’m weary of this new approach.
“I’ve missed you. You should come home for a visit.”
“I didn’t know I was welcome.”
“You’re always welcome. It’s your home, too.” After an awkward pause, she says, “You’ve changed in the last seven months. You’re very handsome and look a lot like your father when I met him.” She smiles with pride as she searches my features as if to find contrast. “Your face structure is clearly his, but your eyes match mine.” An expression I haven’t seen in a long time, a soft smile, appears. “Kate seems to be the opposite. She looks like me, but has your fathers coloring.”
“She’s a beautiful girl—”
“Let’s hope she has the sense to use that to her advantage.” She shuffles some papers in front of her as if she’s back to the task at hand. “What have you been doing with your time out here?”
“I think you know for the most part. I’ve been working. It’s not full time, but it’s steady.”
“Your father tells me you decided to take more time off from school. Why is that?”
“I don’t feel ready for the commitment school takes. When I return, and I will return one day, I want to be focused—”
“It must be nice to flounder on your parents’ dime—”
“Like you did?”
Her eyes lock on mine, her pupils narrowing. “I didn’t flounder, Evan. I have a degree from Barnard College. Because I chose to stay home and raise a family doesn’t mean I don’t deserve respect.”
My blood boils as she looks at me spewing these words as if they’re true. “You didn’t choose to raise us. Nannies raised us. You were too busy getting drunk with the ladies of society to give a shit about me and Kate!”
She quickly rises to her feet, slamming her hands down on the wood desk top. “I will tell you this only once, Evan. You do not swear at me and you will show me respect!”
“Respect is earned. Isn’t that why you always told me you didn’t respect me, Mother?”
“I don’t respect you because you let a small incident throw all my … your dreams away. You let one small bump in the road ruin your potential.” I jump to my feet, walking towards the door as she continues shouting. “You will not leave until I dismiss you.”
“I’m not your servant!” I yell, not missing her slip up about my fulfilling my parents’ dreams. Stopping at the door, I turn around waiting for her retort, the excuse that will allow me to justify once again that we have no real relationship.
“That’s obvious because you’ve never listened to anything I’ve said.” She sits down as if she’s calmed down. She straightens her blouse and gently smooths a few loose strands of hair back into her updo. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m actually hoping for us to resolve this mess and move forward. Will you please sit down and talk to me?”
I want to stomp my foot like a petulant child, but I reserve my emotions, knowing I’ll take them out on some waves later. I take my seat again and lean down, dragging my hand through my hair twice before fully calming down.
“Let’s talk business,” she starts, “your father won’t be on the island long enough to go into any real details, but you and Kate are expected back for the annual company summer party. There’s no arguing this. You were noticeably absent from the holiday party and we missed you at home. I want you to be there for this event. I want my family back together. Can you do that? Will you come home for me?”
I can see the sincerity in her eyes and agree to her wishes by nodding, not able to give her more than that.
“Good. Thank you. In other business, a board meeting is scheduled for that week and since you’re still considered an active member you’re expected to attend. We’ve had a lot of changes that I’m sure you are unaware of so please study the details before you fly out. Your father’s company is resting in the hands of you and your sister and I expect you to protect what is rightfully the Ashford’s.”
“Okay.”
“Your father and I are still hoping you’ll follow in his shoes one day. I don’t think you’re a lost cause despite how you perceive my opinions. With power comes commitment, and we expect a certain level of respect from you. Your name is being sullied with rumors on a daily basis. You must show everyone that you mean business and you deserve their respect. That won’t come about with your flitting about being useless. It’s not been easy to squash the rumors thus far and will be even harder if you continue on your current path. So Dad and I need you to make some decisions and since school is off the table for the fall semester, you need to make better choices in your personal life.”
Oh, here it is. Here’s what she’s been trying to get at the whole time—Mallory. “Are we talking about my dating life?”
“We’re talking about your reputation, your image, and your future. There are plenty of,” she laughs with a casual gesture of her arm, “willing young ladies in New York. They’re beautiful, smart, and connected. They are the whole package. Surely, you can attend a few events during your visit.”
“Those debutantes are shallow and only care about fashion and gossip. I’m arm candy, a prize for them to display and use to make others envious. It’s pathetic. Anyway, I’m dating someone, someone that you treated like trash last night—”
She scoffs. “Evan, that girl, she’s a passing fancy. Honestly, I didn’t see anything special—”
“Don’t! Don’t talk about Mallory like that. She hasn’t done anything to deserve your judgment. She’s good. Her heart is good. She’s smart and can hold a conversation which is more than most of those twits back home can do.”
She waves her hand in front of her like she swatting away a gnat and then stands abruptly, holding in the raging emotions playing out behind the blue of her eyes. “I need to leave. I have a charity luncheon to attend.” Walking to the door without looking back, she says, “Thank you for chatting with me.” She exits the room leaving the door ajar.
I begrudgingly get up and leave the room too. I can hear Zach laughing with Ms. Chart before I see him. I hit him on the shoulder as I come around the corner. “Let’s cruise, dude.”
“Good morning,
Evan. Nice talk with your mother?” Ms. Chart actually sounds hopeful.
I stop to give her the respect that she has earned from me. “The usual. They want me back in New York, you know, living the high life,” I say sarcastically.
“Hmmm. I see. Well, what do you want?”
This is why I wish this woman was my mother. I smile, leaning against the marble counter, and say, “Would you be disappointed in me if I said I’m in a quarter life crisis and I’ve lost my way?”
She nods in understanding then asks, “Maybe this new love can help you find your way home. I don’t know her and I know it’s been just a short time that you have, but I see a spark in your eyes that you haven’t had in a long time. You’re happy which is a great start to finding your life’s path.”
The sentiment is sweet because she actually makes a future with Mallory sound possible. Is it?
She walks around and hugs me. I hug her back, leaning down against her shoulder as she whispers, “Bring your Mallory by. I want to meet this special girl.”
My eyes are watering, which is really fucking embarrassing in front of Zach, so I will the tears back inside and straighten to my full height. “I will.”
Zach nudges my ribs. “C’mon, you know how I get all sappy and shit.” He laughs, but I actually do know that he’s a sensitive guy.
On the drive to the beach, Zach says, “You’ve got a lot to think about.”
“Why does it already feel like I have to choose sides?” I remain staring out my window at the ocean beyond the break where the waves roll in.
“You don’t. You’ve already decided,” he says as he parks the car. “C’mon, we wasted enough time this morning. I need to get my surf on.” We do our knuckle, fist, thumb rub handshake and spend the next three hours feeling at peace as we become one with the ocean.
27
Evan
Time moves so slow when you’re anxious. Lying on my bed, I can feel myself getting more agitated with each slowly ticking minute. This is not just about want. It’s about need, as selfish as it may sound. Not only do I want to see Mallory, but I need to see her.
Moving to the couch for a change of scenery is a momentary distraction, even if it is just fifteen feet from the bed. Propping my feet up on the arm, I toss a tennis ball into the air, wasting another hour before I decide I can’t wait any longer. I call Murphy and Zach to come get me and we head over to Big Kehones.
Zach parks and we hop out. I rush ahead too excited for my own good, only to stop in my tracks in the doorway. Noah is sitting at the bar and laughing with Mallory. My heart clenches and anger takes over. I’m about to physically launch myself across the room when I see him lean forward and whisper something to her, but Murphy stops me. The commotion causes them to look over.
As Mallory’s eyes meet mine, she tilts her head, silently questioning my expression of rage. I watch the corners of her mouth slide upwards into a reassuring smile and feel the tension starting to leave my adrenaline pumped muscles.
Noah watches as she comes around the bar and greets me. “Hi, babe. It’s good to see you,” she says, wrapping her arms around me and bringing her lips to mine. We kiss and I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but deepen it since Noah is watching.
She stops, her lips almost against mine. “Stop. Don’t do that.”
I’m so busted, but feign innocence anyway. “Do what?”
“You know what you just did. Don’t use me like that, Evan.” Her arms are still around me, but I see the hurt in her eyes.
I lean my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I just got jealous seeing him acting too friendly.”
She calls over her shoulder, “Sunny, I’m taking five.” She pulls me out the back door and onto the beach. Once we’re a fair distance from anyone else, she says, “I’ve told you how I feel about you and more importantly, I feel like I’ve shown you what you mean to me. You have no reason to be jealous, especially not of Noah, so please don’t worry.” She holds both my hands between us, rubbing her thumbs over the prominent veins on top of them. “You have really great hands, strong hands.”
I laugh, and the small tension that had built falls away. “Thanks.”
Staring right into my eyes, she says, “I told Noah I would hang out with him in the next week or so. I’m not asking you, Evan. I’m not threatening you either—”
My mind is already searching for an explanation of why she needs to see him at all, but it’s coming up empty for any reasonable excuse.
“… I enjoy his company as a friend and I don’t think I should be caught in the middle of some ridiculous war you’ve got going with each other—”
“Ridiculous? Is that what he told you?” I take my hands from hers and rake them through my hair before bringing one down to my side, clenched. I turn to face the ocean. “You know I trust you. It’s—”
“I know, I know. It’s him you don’t trust.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, that’s not a good enough reason for me not to trust him or to hang out with him. So, unless you’re willing to talk to me about what really happened between you two, I’m going to continue spending time with him.”
I’m in utter disbelief, and suddenly my mind flashes forward. This is how Mallory is. This is how she will always be. She’s stubborn and frustrating and although it’s infuriating, I have to let her be who she is. I look at her defensive little body, arms crossed, fingers tapping, hips angled out. She’s perfect.
“Did you hear me, Evan? I’m hanging out with him unless—”
“Okay,” I whisper, taking hold of her wrists and carefully uncrossing her arms. I’m not ready to share the darkest part of my life, so I have to let her do this.
“What?”
“Okay, you can hang out with him. Obviously you’re allowed to be friends with whomever you choose. So if you want to waste your time with him then that’s your decision.”
I wrap her arms around my waist and wrap mine around hers, bringing her closer.
After kissing her on the forehead, I say, “Some things you’ve got to learn on your own.”
She leans back and makes a funny face at me. Then she smiles, and says, “Thank you, baby.”
“For what?”
“For trusting me to make my own choices.”
“And to live with the consequences?”
“Blah, blah, blah … no consequences. You just remember that I lov—” She pauses though we both know what she was going to say. I wish she would again because I’m too scared to do it all on my own. “Well, you know who I’m coming home to.” I still freaking love that she calls me home.
I kiss her on the tip of her nose. “Yeah, you just remember that when he’s flirting with you.”
She rolls her eyes. “I have to get back. Are you staying to eat?”
“If the guys are.”
She turns to walk inside and I smack her jeans clad ass—hard. She yelps from surprise and maybe a little pain, but I’ve noticed she kind of digs it when I do that too.
“Revenge is sweet, Evan.”
“Bring it on, baby.”
“Hmmph!” She struts off, tossing her hair over her shoulder and trying to act like she’s mad. She isn’t, I can tell beneath the fake pout.
I sit down with the guys and Kate joins us.
“What’s the drama today, lil bro?” she asks, not holding back. She’s never afraid to hold back when it comes to me.
I feel defensive, but try to keep that emotion in check when I speak. “Mallory’s going to hang out with Noah.”
All three of them look at me in disbelief, probably because I’m not freaking out.
“Ummm, and you’re okay with that?” Murphy asks, his mouth resuming the hanging open position.
“Nope, but she’s going to have to learn the hard way.”
“And what hard way would that be? When he has his hard member pressed against her? Is that the lesson you want her to learn?” Kate asks, looking between Murphy and me.
“Oh,” everyone says in unison. We all turn to look at the current topics of discussion at the bar.
I slap my hands together, which startles them. “So, we eating or what?”
Noah leaves while we’re chowing down on burgers and I can’t say I’m sad to see him go. He didn’t acknowledge my presence after the kiss I forced him to witness and ignored the group when Mallory returned from outside with me. I think he was more bothered than he let on, but that’s just my opinion and one I’ll try to keep to myself. Before we leave, I kiss her, not for show this time, but because I want to.
Kate is staying behind with the girls for their shopping excursion to Honolulu, but walks Murphy to the car. After their sexual display of pure horniness, I ask, “Hey sis, can I talk to you before you take off?”
She pulls herself away from Murphy like they’re chained together, each step a struggle for her. We take a small walk around to the side of the restaurant to talk in private. I shove my hands in my pockets nervous I might upset her, so I tread carefully. “So, um, I talked with mom this morning.”
“How’d that go?” She asks, obviously surprised by the news.
“Not as well as I would have hoped, but I’m not going to let them control me. I have a lot to think about concerning the future and I’m willing to do that now.”
“That’s sounds good. What about New York?”
“You knew?”
“Dad told me before I flew out here that they would appreciate us being there, representing a solid family front for the company … and for them.”
“I told her I’d be there for the board meeting and the party.” I look over my shoulder to make sure no one is eavesdropping. I lower my voice just in case. “Does Mom know about Murphy?”
Kate’s eyes scan behind me. “She’s aware of him, but not to the extent of how I feel.”
“How do you feel?”
“I like him … a lot.” She lowers her eyes and a small smile appears as her cheeks pink. The act itself is new for my sister. That’s how I know she means what she says next. “I might be falling in love with him.”