by Aria Norton
Luke Christiansen was the youngest son of a duke, so he was the right sort to spend her afternoons with, but he wasn't the right sort for her. Nathaniel had been perfect for her, but he turned out to be just like every other man.
"I think every man annoys you," Rose commented. "Every man but Nathaniel. I had such high hopes for him."
"Don't talk about him to me, Rose. I don't like to remember how he has disappointed me."
What had she done to deserve his behaviour? Everything was going splendidly, wasn't it? And then he hurt me. I don't know why, but maybe 'tis best that I don't know. But I still wish to know why he didn't bother telling me that he would no longer teach me, let alone see me! Did I do or say something wrong?
"You're thinking about him right now, aren't you?" said Rose.
Helena sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately, so. I can't seem to remove him from my mind no matter how hard I try."
And yet it wasn't her mind that was the problem, but her heart. Nathaniel had wedged himself into her heart so deeply had she hadn't a clue how to remove him. I have spent my days being courted by countless suitors, danced around ballrooms until my feet felt that they would fall off, and paid visits to more people than I care to, and yet still, I cannot get him out of my heart. Helena had hoped that she would find someone who she had much in common with, but every single man seemed to have the same sort of hobbies- money, hunting, and gentlemen's' clubs. Not one of them had expressed an interest in music or art. In fact, when she had mentioned the possibility of more female violinists, the men had been horrified.
"Perhaps Candace and Sophie can take your mind off Nathaniel. Don't send a message to Mr Christiansen, but ask them out to tea. I have seen a great many tea houses in London, some more lavish than others."
Helena grimaced. "I don't think I could take their company today. They are always bickering, and Sophie keeps dipping into my wardrobe for dresses despite having her own."
"Perhaps she thinks that wearing your clothing will bring her more luck. She hasn't had much yet."
Poor Sophie had hoped for a whirlwind romance the second she landed in London, but Candace had been the one to get that opportunity. No one had seen it coming, least of all Candace.
"She should take a leaf out of Candace's book and stop looking and trying so hard. Sophie laughs too much, bats her eyelashes too hard... she simply overdoes it! I don't know what else I can say to get her to calm down and simply allow love to come to her. She's a pretty and intelligent girl- it shouldn't be so hard. In fact, I'll send a dozen of my suitors her way."
Helena wasn't exaggerating. She had lost count of the number of men who had asked to call upon her. Thinking that they would keep her mind off Nathaniel, she had agreed to every single invitation. Poor Rose had to accompany her everywhere, but Helena's friend seemed more amused by the whole thing.
The woman had also attracted her fair share of attention, but due to her status, that attention wasn't the sort a decent woman was looking for. One man had even asked if Rose came with the Barclay package! Helena had never kicked someone out of the house faster than that day.
"Well, I suppose Mr Christiansen will have to do," said Rose. "Shall I get your writing pad and quill? I would write it, but he would see that 'tis not your handwriting. Mr Christiansen has noticed a great many details about you. Too many, in fact. 'Tis as though he has studied your entire life with the express purpose of marrying you."
Helena touched her temple, feeling a throb. "Oh, don't talk to me about such frightening things, Rose. My head hurts. I must be over-thinking this entire situation instead of merely letting it be."
"Shall I massage your temple for you? I have a little bottle of lavender oil that will surely alleviate any throbbing in no time at all."
Helena nodded. "If you would be so kind. In the meantime, I should probably send a note to Luke. He seems a little more normal than the rest, although since you've told me that he knows me too well, I don't know if I should be around him."
"That's just my observation. Perhaps the man is merely smitten with you. Didn't you have a need to find out everything about Nathaniel? Mr Christiansen is merely doing the same thing."
Helena groaned. "You brought up Nathaniel again, Rose."
"Oh, my apologies. I can't seem to get rid of this habit. I'll try harder next time," the woman promised. "I'll just go and fetch that oil."
"Bring me the writing pad and quill first. An afternoon walk through Hyde Park is preferable to moping about at home."
Rose fetched the writing equipment, handing it to Helena. "Only go if you are confident that you want to."
"Luke is amusing. He might be able to cheer me up today."
Rose nodded. "I'll fetch that oil."
Helena wrote a quick note and sent it with her footman. It would be easy to just sit in the house and remind herself about all her times with Nathaniel, but Helena had resolved not to do so. What she needed to do was focus on the here and now, and push the past to the back of her mind until she could forget all about it.
The special bond she had had with Nathaniel had been one-sided, leaving her confused and heartbroken. The day Helena found out that he wasn't coming back had been a sad one indeed. It had dulled something within her, so much so that Helena felt like a different person. She no longer saw life as she once did, neither did she experience joy in the little things. Perhaps this was a sign that she had finally grown up.
Helena kept looking behind her to make sure that Rose was within calling distance. Luke was acting a bit odd today, and he was making her nervous.
"Do you recall when I called on you back in the countryside?" he asked.
"Which particular time?"
Luke had called on her at least three dozen times, but most of those times had been a case of her hiding in the attic so he wouldn't know that she was at home. The man had never interested her, and Helena had been glad when he left their town and permanently moved to London.
"The few times I was able to see you. But on this particular day, you were wearing a bright yellow dress."
That didn't help Helena at all. "I've worn a yellow dress at least ten times this year."
"Well, never mind that. It's enough that I remember the day. Well, when I saw you that day, I just knew that you would make the perfect wife."
"Indeed?" Helena said a little weakly.
Oh heavens! We're back on that subject again. Luke had brought up marriage four times since coming to London.
"Indeed. You're intelligent- which I appreciate in a wife. I cannot have a foolish wife."
"No, of course not," Helena murmured.
"Yes. You're also beautiful- have I told you today how stunning you look in your pale blue dress? It suits your colouring perfectly."
"Yes. I believe you did when you arrived at the house."
"Did I? Oh, it must have slipped my mind. Although it's not such a terrible thing to repeat it, is it? Especially for a beauty as exquisite as you."
"You flatter me, Luke," said Helena trying to keep the exasperation from her voice. "Why don't we stop by this bench? There should be enough shade from this large tree next to it."
Luke hit his brow. "Yes, of course! Why didn't I think of that? How terrible of me, Helena. Please forgive me."
Helena pulled her head back slightly. "There is nothing to forgive, Luke, I assure you. Come, let's sit."
Luke waited for her to sit, but when he looked as though he would sit a little too close to her, Helena scooted to the end of the bench. By the time Luke sat down, they had a good few several inches between them. He seemed disappointed by the distance, but he didn't say anything about it. Where on earth is Rose? She is taking an extraordinary amount of time getting here. I need some relief from this man. The upside to Luke's insufferable behaviour was that Helena had yet to think of Nathaniel. Oh, I shouldn't have thought that. Now, I am thinking about him! I hope Luke says something shocking.
"Do you see husband material in me?" Luke asked suddenly.
>
That was precisely the sort of thing Helena was expecting from him. "I suppose I do. You are respectable, kind to women and children-"
"And animals," he interrupted.
"Yes, and animals," Helena agreed. "You have wonderful manners, you dress smartly, you're intelligent, and you handle business affairs well. Have I left anything out?"
"I was hoping you would say that I'm dashingly handsome as well," he admitted a tad shyly.
"I didn't think I had to mention that, but of course, you are. You must have received the attention of many interested women this Season."
"I wouldn't know as I have only had eyes for one woman," he said earnestly.
Oh, my. Why is he looking at me like that? Do I perhaps have something on my face?
"You don't say," Helena offered, not knowing what Luke expected her to say to that.
"Yes, I do say. Oh, Helena, I thought that I could wait until at least mid-Season, but my heart is telling me to just do it."
Helena felt alarm rush through her. "Do what, exactly?"
"I would like to approach your parents for your hand in marriage."
Oh. He does move rather fast. "Well, I...uh. I don't know what to say."
"Say yes and make me the happiest man in the world."
Helena touched a hand to her throat. "This is all rather sudden, Luke."
Where on earth was Rose? Helena was tempted to look behind her, but she also wanted to keep her eyes on Luke. He had already inched towards her, and she hadn't even noticed.
"I know that I've sprung this on you quite out of the blue, but I promise you that you won't find a husband as loving and good as I am."
Helena could argue that, but her judgement wasn't that good. Not anymore. Nathaniel's betrayal had taught her not focus on her feelings, but her head. Luke might just be right about his own character reference. He always makes the right gestures, says the proper thing, and he has never pretended to be anything else. Unlike Nathaniel, who had the ways of a chameleon. This might just be as good as it gets. Helena couldn't believe what she was about to do.
"I would be honoured if you approached my parents for my hand in marriage."
Luke's eyes lit up. "Truly?"
"Yes."
"Oh, thank you, Helena," he said, reaching for her hand and kissing it. "You will not regret it."
I already am.
Margaret was surprised when their housekeeper announced that Luke Christiansen had come to see her and her husband. It was relatively late into the evening, and they had just had their dinner. He must have a good reason for coming.
"Show him in, Agatha."
"Yes, my lady."
"Isn't Luke that chap who's keen on our Helena?" Henry asked. "Good fellow."
While Margaret agreed with her husband that Luke was a good man, that didn't mean that he was suitable for Helena.
Luke came in moments later, performing the necessary greetings before taking a seat.
"How lovely to see you, Luke," said Margaret. "How is your mother?"
"Well, well," the young man replied. "In fact, she couldn't be better. I must say that you are looking particularly lovely today, my lady."
"Are you interested in my wife or my daughter?" said Henry with a little grin.
"Oh, Henry! Do not tease the man. He is well aware that I belong to you."
"What a pity," the young man commented. "But if I cannot ask for the hand of the lovely Lady Pembroke, then perhaps I can ask for the hand of my beautiful Helena?"
That wiped the grin right off Margaret's face. She turned to her husband, who seemed equally as shocked.
"What's that you say?" Henry asked. "You wish to marry my daughter?"
Luke nodded. "Yes, my lord. Helena is the only woman I can ever see marrying, and I do not wish to wait anymore."
The Season had hardly begun, but Helena had managed a marriage proposal. Margaret didn't know what to make of it.
"Are you certain, Luke?" Henry questioned. "This is a rather big decision to make so early in the Season."
"I know," the young man agreed. "But Helena is on board with the idea."
"She is?" Margaret and her husband said at the same time.
That didn't sound like their daughter. "How do you know that she is accepting of this marriage?" Margaret asked.
"I took the liberty of asking her this afternoon,” Luke explained. “And she agreed."
Margaret had to sit back in her chair. Never did she think that her daughter would marry the likes of Luke.
"We would like to discuss this with our daughter, Luke," said Henry. "I know that you understand."
Thank goodness for her husband because Margaret didn't know what to say. She watched the young man's face fall, but he quickly covered that up with his usual charming smile.
"Of course, Lord Pembroke. I understand. Will you let me know when you have reached a decision?"
"Certainly," Henry replied. "We'll send a note to request an audience with you."
"Then I'll be going," the man said, bowing. "A pleasant evening to you both."
Margaret waited until the young man had left before discussing the matter further. "A marriage so soon?"
"I know. I'm surprised as well,” her husband confessed. “Helena has become the docile young woman we had always hoped she would be, and she is ready to settle down. However, I don't feel this is right."
Margaret was glad that her husband was thinking the same thing. "I thought that this would make me happy, but it only worries me. Have you notice how changed our daughter is?"
Henry sighed deeply, rubbing his rasping jaw. "Our daughter has lost her love for life, hasn't she? I hoped that I was reading into things, but it's difficult not to notice that she has become a shadow of the lively young woman she used to be."
Helena had indeed retreated into her shell. She no longer looked, spoke, or behaved the same. Their daughter had become a completely different person. I used to think that a betrothal would make me happy, but the circumstances are not right.
"Do you think we did the right thing by ending her violin lessons and rushing her off to London?"
They had pushed countless suitors on her, and now Helena had chosen one of them.
Henry shrugged. "I don't know, my dove. I just don't know any more."
Margaret didn't know either. What had they done?
Chapter 19
The room listened in rapturous silence as they fixed their attention on Nathaniel, none the wiser of the turmoil moving and writhing within him. Nathaniel kept his gaze averted from the crowd, concentrating on a large statue towering over most of the guests present. Helena might be amongst the people, and he was not ready to see her. It also helped to focus on one object while playing, rather than a multitude of eyes.
Nathaniel knew his performance was perfunctory, practised, and perfect; but it had none of the heart of his other one-man shows. How could it when his mind had no peace, his eyes no rest, and his heart no calm? Since he heard what he could only assume was Helena's betrayal, he had failed to come to grips with the absurdity of his situation. However, it was best not to dwell on that right now, not when he still had several more sets to complete.