by Sadie Conall
This was intent. This was the touch of a woman who felt desire.
And then Ella moved her hand, running it slowly down his naked muscular belly, her touch as light as a feather, feeling the hardness of his body, the slight indentation of his belly button and then she went further and heard his sharp intake of breath.
“We have a whole night ahead of us Marrok. Please don’t waste it,” she begged.
6
She lay atop him, her naked body warming him, although Marrok didn’t need warming. She kissed him again, softly now, not like before, not like the hot heated thing that had been between them.
Marrok felt every inch of her along every inch of himself, even as his hands reached down to caress her thighs, as her hands caressed his shoulders and chest and her lips teased him.
“Do you have regrets?” he asked, his voice low and deep.
Ella pulled back a little to look down at him, then shook her head. “Never! For how could I be sorry for what we just shared?” she asked, her own voice husky, her body aching where he had been, yet she couldn’t move away from him if she tried, such was her desire for him.
Marrok took a deep shuddering breathe before rolling over so she lay beneath him. Ella bought her leg up so it rested over his and closed her eyes with pleasure as he kissed her again, his lips moving down to her neck, her shoulder and then her breast. Ella felt his sex rise again where he lay on her belly, but he was in no hurry. And all Ella wanted, was to lie like this with him forever.
He reached for her hand and held it in his own, leaning back to look at her. The moonlight shared enough light for her to admire his rugged beauty, his hard body that had given her such pleasure, and pain. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, a gentle caress, although Ella also knew how fierce and demanding that mouth could be as it claimed her own, along with the rest of her.
“There’s something about you Ella that drives me to the point of not knowing my own mind. I’ve never known it with another woman and I do believe you have the power to destroy me. I think I’ve known it since that kiss we shared in St Louis. Like the flame destroys the moth, so you could destroy me.”
“Well, you may think of yourself as a moth if you prefer, Marrok Gauvain, all I know is that I’m in love with you. And although I know we only have tonight, I don’t care. I shall carry this memory with me for the rest of my days. For every day is torture when you ride out and I don’t know where you’ve gone or if you’re safe. And although I understand that’s your choice and the way you live your life, I find I can’t rest until you’re back in camp and I know you’re safe and I can watch you and hear you and pretend you’re in love with me, as I am with you.”
She saw him smile and he let go of her hand to trace his fingers over her body. She felt that now familiar rush of lust at his touch and moved her other leg up and away from him, so he lay between them. He looked at her, his voice husky and low.
“Don’t tempt me Ella, for I’m well aware this is your first time.”
“I don’t care. I want this night to last forever. I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Oh, I know that well enough,” he said, moving his large frame gently off her so he could kiss her belly. So she moved her legs around him, caressing him with them, driving him to that other place where he’d lost control, when she’d pulled off her chemise, even as he’d tried to still her.
But Ella would not be stilled. And when she’d stood there naked before him, her hands reaching for him, Marrok had lost all thought of what might come of this night and taken her in his arms.
And as he lay above her now, smelling her sweet scent and feeling the hot warmth of her beneath his hands, he knew he’d wanted this from the moment he’d seen her riding Bear across the fields in that wedding dress back at the ranch, the gown billowing behind her, as though she didn’t give a damn.
“Yet what is a man to do after a night like this?” he asked, kissing her. “How am I meant to go on? I can’t bear to think of you heading off to California, knowing I might never see you again. Nor can I bear to think of any other man having this. And what if there’s a child tonight?” He sat up then and Ella moved to sit before him, yet unable to be apart from her, he lifted her so she sat on his thighs, her legs wrapped around him. He felt the heat of her against him.
“I shall deal with that if it happens,” she said, taking his face in her hands and kissing him gently, her lips soft against his cheek, his mouth. “Women have dealt with such things for centuries. But know this, Marrok Gauvain. I would keep your child. I wouldn’t allow others to raise our babe. And whether a boy or girl, they’ll likely want to be in the wild, just like you, just like your father and grandfather and the men and women of your mother’s people. And I could not deny our child that.”
Marrok looked at her in the moonlight, his dark eyes holding her own. And suddenly he felt that curtain lift again and knew that this was destiny. Her being with him tonight wasn’t wrong, it was the most natural thing in the world.
And he knew he’d felt that sense of destiny back at the ranch, when he’d asked her to come west with them. He’d known it when he put his own schedule on hold for almost a month, to help her, to make sure she travelled with him. He just hadn’t had a name for it, until now. She was his destiny. She wasn’t afraid of anything. She was his soul mate.
“Then marry me Ella. Come with me to Oregon. Help me build a new life in that valley I spoke of alongside Artie and the Chinook. Bring Jasper and Clara if they want to come. I think Clara already understands that Ruby will move on one day, leaving her alone, but she won’t be alone with us. And Abe and Wilber can join us if that’s what they want. Some of my own men are joining me, for Artie and I will need all the help we can get to build cabins and corrals.”
Ella wrapped her arms about his neck, yet her thoughts were of Martha and saying goodbye to her forever. It would break her heart, but if she had to choose between Martha and Marrok, there was only one choice to make.
“Yes,” she nodded, kissing him. “Yes, I’ll come to Oregon with you.”
7
The next few weeks couldn’t come fast enough for most people on that wagon train, as Fort Hall loomed in the distance. But none more so than for Ella and Marrok, for they had decided to wait and get married there. Artie had suggested it, for Marrok had to ride out again for a few days and Artie didn’t want his head full of Ella.
“It’s less than three weeks away and you’ll be gone for most of it. Let the girl marry in Fort Hall where she’ll have all the luxury the trading post can offer.”
Marrok finally saw the sense in it and Ella reluctantly agreed, but as he rode off, as she kissed him goodbye, all she wanted now was for this journey to be over so they could start their lives together.
Most people on the wagon train were shocked by the upcoming nuptials, including Constance and Willard, for they hadn’t noticed the blossoming romance between Marrok and Ella.
Jasper cried when Ella told him she was going to marry Marrok. “Oh Lord, I’s so glad Miss Ella. I wanted to go with him so badly and work his land and help breed horses. But I’d never have left you behind. And now we can take Billy and Bear with us.”
But Martha and Ruby weren’t shocked. Although they were shocked that Ella was choosing to follow Marrok into the wild. They had thought he would follow her to California.
But they didn’t know about the secret valley, they didn’t know about Marrok’s dream.
Martha tried to talk Ella out of it, but soon realized she was wasting her breath.
“I can’t live without him Aunt,” Ella said. “He’s my life. He’s everything to me. I’ll only be half alive if I’m not with him.”
Martha wiped the tears from her eyes. “I tried to stop it so many times, for I saw the attraction between the two of you from the moment you met. Remember that day back at the ranch, when you burst into the kitchen and Marrok almost pushed the table over getting to his feet? It happened right then, this t
hing between you two. And like I said, I’ve done my best to squash it, but love will find its way. Well, I’ll miss you girl, but you know that already I hope. And I know you have your own life to lead and it’s not for me to hold you back, but I think your mama and daddy would be pleased. Marrok’s a good man and I know you’ll be happy with him.”
Ruby found it impossible to believe that Ella would choose to go live in the wild, in a wagon, until Marrok could build her a cabin.
“I had thoughts of him following you to California! Not the other way around!” Ruby said. “But there’s no getting around how you feel about each other. I can only hope that one day I’ll find someone as worthy of me, as Marrok is of you.” She paused to reach out and hug Ella. “Do you know, we both escaped west by wagon train and look what you found. Now it’s time for me to find my happiness.”
Clara was thrilled to join Ella and Marrok in Oregon. Although Ella thought the deep friendship that Clara now shared with Jasper might be another reason for it.
“I know it’ll be hard,” Clara said to Ella when they spoke of it one evening. “Mr Marrok an’ Jasper done told me how hard it will be. Livin’ like this for months until a cabin gets built an’ havin’ Indians for neighbors. But I don’t care ‘bout none of that. I just want to get settled. I just want to have a home.”
“Me too, Clara,” Ella said softly. “And together we’ll create a family up in the north, you and me and Marrok and Jasper. Along with Marrok’s men, and Artie and his wife and her family. We’ll certainly never be alone, that’s for sure.”
*
The night before they arrived in Fort Hall, men brought out their fiddles and harmonicas after supper and people got up to dance. And while Ella stood off to one side watching Ruby dance with Moss, Artie approached her. Marrok had been gone for days, scouting the country ahead, although he would meet them in Fort Hall on the morrow.
“I know you’ll make Marrok happy,” Artie said. “For although he’s a very private man, I’ll tell you now, not once in all the years I’ve known him, have I ever seen him this happy. He never lets his guard down to anyone, certainly not a stranger, but he did with you,” he paused to watch the people dancing, then turned back to look at Ella, his hair and beard trimmed for their arrival in Fort Hall, ready for the handover of his wagon train to the two new wagon masters.
“Over the years I’ve seen a lot of women drawn to Marrok, but he gave none of them so much as a glance, until he met you. And forgive me if I’m speaking out of turn Ella, for I’m not entirely sure Marrok would thank me for it, but I’m pleased as hell that you’ll coming to Oregon with us. And I think my wife and her people will love you.”
Ella reached up to kiss him on the check, then Artie smiled and walked away, back towards his own team and to celebrate his last night driving a wagon train west.
Fort Hall
October 1846
1
The Shoshone Indians called it the Snake River. And above that long and winding river that made it all the way to the distant Columbia River, on a patch of cleared ground, stood Fort Hall.
The men and women who lived there traded with the Shoshone and Bannock tribes, for this was their land, along with fur trappers who worked the rivers in this territory for the Hudson Bay company in the north.
The team of seven muleskinners had delivered their wagons full of supplies more than three weeks earlier, so the shelves in the trading post were stocked with goods. And as people purchased what they needed for their journeys west to California or north to the Willamette Valley in Oregon, Marrok and Ella made plans to wed.
He’d arrived at Fort Hall the previous night and taken the time to wash, shave and change into clean clothes. And he readied the clothes he’d purchased in St Louis to take Ella out to dinner, to get married in.
As the wagons rolled into Fort Hall, Ella saw him sitting on horseback waiting, watching for her wagon. She ran to him as he dismounted and as the wagons moved into their circles and unharnessed animals so they could graze, they made plans for their wedding.
Martha wanted Ella to wear her mother’s wedding band, for as her aunt said. “It ain’t proper if you ain’t got a ring on your finger.”
Fort Hall didn’t sell anything like wedding bands, but Ella didn’t like the thought of wearing her mother’s wedding ring, so chose the ring she’d found at the ranch instead, which fitted her perfectly and which she thought might have belonged to one of her grandmothers.
Yet Martha felt uneasy about this marriage and tried to persuade Ella to wait a few more days to make sure this was what she wanted, but Ella assured her she had no plans to change her mind. She didn’t want to be anywhere else but by Marrok’s side. She was prepared to live in the back of a wagon for the rest of her life if it meant they could be together.
“Well, if that’s your mind made up, all that’s left to say is I wish you the very best, just as your mama and daddy would have done,” Martha said, reaching out to take Ella in her arms.
“They would be so proud of you, my darling, just like I’m proud of you. And I think you’ll do just fine up north. All I ask is for you to remember not to dwell on the hard times when they come, for they will come. Just think on what you and Marrok share, for that kind of love can get you through anything. Just try and send me a letter if you can, send it to one of the big hotels in San Francisco, even if it takes a few years to reach me, just to let me know you’re alright. And once a year I’ll have someone go check those hotels and see if there’s a letter waiting.”
Ella brushed away her tears and took her aunt’s hands in her own. “I’ll miss you so much. You’ve been a mother to me for more than half my life and you know I’ll think of you every day. And I promise that somehow, I’ll send you that letter, I’ll find a way.”
Martha wiped away her own tears. “And you know I’ll be alright. I’ve got Willard back and I’ll have four grand babies to take care of. They’ll run me off my feet, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She smiled as she looked at the radiant girl standing before her. “I might be losing you to the wild Ella, but I’d rather it be this way and know you’re happy, then you be trapped and living a life of misery on a ranch back home.”
“I know Aunt,” Ella said softly. “Ruby and I both had a lucky escape thanks to Marrok. And I wouldn’t change what’s happened for the world.”
2
The morning of the wedding, Ruby used her precious soap supplies so Ella could bathe, using a large bucket and lots of hot water which Clara boiled for her. And after helping Ella dry her hair, Ruby curled it, using her own pins and weaving strips of satin ribbon through the curls. Clara found wild flowers in a meadow behind the Fort, where she had gone with Clarissa and Eleanor earlier that morning, and now they gently pushed the small scented flowers amongst the pins and satin ribbons before Clara used what was left to make a small bouquet.
When Martha appeared at the back of Ella’s wagon not long before the wedding, where Ella was getting ready, she stumbled as she climbed up into the wagon from the weight she carried in her arms. Clara and Ruby rushed to help her and as Martha unwrapped the blanket which held the bundle, Ella gasped in shock, for there was the wedding dress which Jebediah had paid a small fortune for, all those months ago.
“I sponged all the mud splatter out of it best I could, while you and Marrok rode over to talk to Jebediah. And I patched the silk and lace gloves months ago, when I had a spare moment, just so I didn’t get you upset.”
“I didn’t know,” Ella whispered. “I didn’t know you’d kept it and brought it all this way west.”
“I couldn’t leave it behind. I couldn’t let Jebediah have it, knowing you’d worn it, knowing the man he was, the thought of that made my stomach crawl. So better for me to wash the mud out best I could and bring it with me. I never thought to see you in it. I didn’t really know what I’d do with it to be honest, but if you want to wear it, I guess that’ll be your choice.”
“But Marrok’s
seen me in this dress. When I was out riding Bear across the fields and again into the kitchen. Won’t that mean bad luck for us?”
“It’s only bad luck if you want to believe it. Now, let’s get you dressed and put some rouge on your cheeks and lips. There’s a tall handsome man waiting for you out there. I wouldn’t keep him waiting if I were you.”
Ella had never felt more beautiful. Her hands were trembling within the gloves as she climbed down out of the wagon, as she saw all those people who had come all that way west from Independence looking up at her, standing in a circle before Artie.
And then Ella saw Marrok.
He stood tall and proud and beautiful, in the clothes he had worn to take her to dinner in St Louis, his coal dark eyes looking at her with such love and longing she couldn’t wait to go to him.
And when it came time for her to repeat her vows after Artie, it seemed as if the world faded away, as if there were no-one else in that field outside the trading post than her and Marrok.
She heard Artie’s words, and then her own, followed by Marrok repeating his vows. And as Ella said I do, she knew without any doubt that this was where she was meant to be.
And she suddenly understood why her father hadn’t left her the ranch.
Quentin knew she would have worked until that ranch broke her, as it did him. By leaving a half share to his brother, a man he knew to be a wastrel, he knew Ella would have to move on, to stand on her own two feet and seek out a new life for herself.
He hadn’t done it because his mind was half gone with the disease that was eating him alive, he had done it because he loved her.
Yet what that decision must have cost him!
Ella felt herself trembling with emotion as she thought of Quentin. He would have loved Marrok. As so would her mother. And it had all started by taking a chance, by accepting an invitation to head west.