I frowned, “No.”
“It wasn’t a question.”
“I’m still saying no.” I looked him in the eyes to seem unmoved but he used it against me.
His blues darkened. “I’m your boss, I can make you go.”
I snorted, “Nobody makes me do anything.”
“What are you afraid of?”
Him.
I’m afraid of the level of need he puts me on.
Even right now all I want is to touch him.
I’m terrified of the need I have to know him.
“We can’t dance around this flirting thing forever,” I said in a rumble of thunder from outside. “I go too far with you on a daily basis. I went too far already. Even this.” I gestured between him and I. “How is this even okay? Being here alone, wearing almost nothing…”
He moved to sit closer and I felt his hand cup the back of my neck. The warmth soothed me right away and then he was massaging which killed the last of my common sense.
His mouth pressed against my ear like for a kiss but instead, he whispered to me like we weren’t alone. “You owe me. That night when I wrapped my mouth around your cock, you agreed to pay me back for the release I gave you. I sucked you off knowing you would be obligated to return the favor anyway I wanted.”
I shut my eyes in a brief attempt to block out his words. He was like a dirty secret insinuating a threat. I envisioned him asking me to do the same thing to him right now. I imagined him asking for it. I would gladly lower to my knees and return that favor. He’s caught me in a strong moment of weakness.
I pulled my neck back so I could turn my head. We were almost nose to nose. “Tell me what you want then.”
His head bent closer until his breath was felt against my lips. “And you’ll do what I want? Whatever I ask for? Because you know you owe me. Maybe too, because you want it.”
My breathing came faster. Could I do this? Right here and now, with no thoughts to Trix? How far would I be willing to go? “I will,” I nodded and it caused my top lip to graze his nose. “Just say it.”
He pressed our cheeks against each other and smoothed down my jaw so he was back at my ear, “You are going sight-seeing with me. On weekends.”
I sat further back, feeling like ice water was dropped in my lap, “You plan to use that specific favor on getting me to go out?”
He grinned as he returned to sitting straight and picked up his coffee, releasing my neck, “Yep, what did you think I meant?”
I’m not sure if I want to laugh or punch him but either way, we ended up laughing.
September
Cibo Degli Dei. That’s the name of the Italian restaurant Chance took me to in Little Italy. It was a great spot. Outside were three iron tables and chairs with the traditional red and white checkered tablecloths. The place had two big blackboards with all their menu specials written in white chalk. Hanging plants hung from the street lamps and an Italian flag over their doorway.
“What does the name mean?” I asked as Chance held the door open for me.
“Food of the Gods.” He supplied. “My friend, Lorenzo runs it with his family.” We stood and waited for someone to seat us and I took in the space.
The inside had three archways made of brick and above them were garlands of greenery. Garlic bunches in nets hung on the wall near paintings of Italy and life-size statues of the Roman gods were erected in corners. There was a small fountain that lent the calming sound of water as it trickled from four levels and in its center was a carved King Neptune holding his triton.
Italian music filtered through hidden speakers and an expensive wine collection was displayed proudly on the farthest wall. Tables were filled with tiny vases of red or white carnations and candles. The lighting was dark but inviting and I felt at ease.
“Chance!” A girl about Trixie’s height and age came bounding our way. Her hair was in two long and sleek braids and she was in all black with an apron around her waist.
“Hey, Little Bit.” He hugged her and she wrapped herself around him with a grin. “What you been up to?” he asked as they parted.
“Work and school,” she beamed, “and I might be dating soon, but it’s a secret.” She whispered. “Do. Not. Tell. My. Brother.” She grounded out in a warning.
Chance shrugged, “No promises.”
“You tell him and I’ll spit in your drink.” She threatened before noticing me. Then she stood straighter, “Hi,” she bit her lip. “Sorry, I wouldn’t really do that.” She stuttered. “Like, it was just a joke.”
I laughed, “It’s all good.”
Chance pulled her into his side, “Adam, this is Lorenzo’s youngest sister, Giada.”
“Hi!” she put out her hand and we shook.
“Nice to meet you.” I smiled.
She fanned herself, “Sorry for being blunt but if you ever feel like being gay isn’t for you I can help with that.”
“Not in front of me,” Chance pulled one of her braids, “and your brother.” He pointed behind her and we all looked. “Damn it!” She ran off before I could say anything.
“She’s cute,” I laughed.
He gave a chin lift to someone, “She’s outspoken, and sadly not allowed to have boyfriends.” He smirked at me, “and I’m fairly sure her brother has paid every man in the city not to date her anyway.”
“Ciao!” Someone called from across the restaurant. A tall guy with shortly cut dark hair and eyes so brown they looked black came up to the door.
“Lorenzo,” Chance greeted the man with a handshake and a smile. “Hey, how are you?”
“Good, good!” Lorenzo grinned. “About to go in the back to cook. You almost missed me.” His eyes fell on me, “Who is the new one?”
And boom. Proof that anything with Chance is pointless. Just like that, I felt a sinking in my chest. ‘Who’s the new one?’ Chance might be more than I thought but he’s also everything I first perceived.
“I’m not a new one,” I said it lightly to make it humorous, “I’m just the employee under obligation to sight see.” I corrected before extending my hand.
We shook and Lorenzo laughed, “Good looks and a sense of humor. Chance, maybe you should make him more than an employee?”
Chance had been observing the change in me, “Maybe.” He said.
“My girlfriend might object,” I put in.
“Ah,” Lorenzo grabbed two menus off the front desk and motioned for us to follow, “I see. Then you are just the employee. I get it now.”
Lorenzo led us back to a secluded table in the far corner. It was a great table and a little quieter.
“You know that Mamma will be out to see you. Don’t go nowhere till she does,” Lorenzo told Chance.
Chance nodded and when his friend left I opened the menu. “Great place,” I admitted. For some reason, the disappointment was pissing me off. Why did I care if he dragged me all the same places as his fleeting lovers?
“If you trust me, I’ll order for both of us,” he said, scooting his menu away without even looking.
“Well, I don’t,” I said turning the page.
He sat back in his chair and watched me, “Got a problem?”
I flipped through the pages again but there is like twenty pages. It’s like a book, not a menu and I have no clue what is good nor am I really reading, “How many more weekends do I owe you before I can quit this?”
He smiled, “You can quit when you want.”
“I’ve seen more than half the city so I think I’ll call next weekend, quits.” I closed up my menu, “this shit is insane. There are too many options.”
He stacked my menu with his. “You aren’t a ‘new one,’ Adam. Yes, I’ve taken guys here before. Doesn’t mean I think of you the same way.”
I folded my arms over the table, “You’re playing me. This is your routine, right? It all leads to the same place. I’m not leaving Trixie, to be a superficial fuck. I’m too old for that. We can be friends but stop trying to find someth
ing else.”
He looked around and I tried to decide if leaving now made more sense.
Then he spoke. “I can’t read but I actually know almost everything on the menu here.” He looked over at Lorenzo as the guy was going into the kitchens. “His dad used to leave scraps out back for me when I was a kid. I got close to his family and they started leaving out actual plates for me and Lamar. When I made my first fair share of money I spent it here. My goal was to be able to afford a dinner at this place.”
He looked back at me, “No, one but Zeus knows I can’t read. I’ve never brought anyone to my district on Mondays. I don’t allow people in my apartment. I’ve only entered Jax’s territory for Bianca the one time. No one’s been in my mother’s house.” He leaned forward. “The only reason I brought other guys here, was so they wouldn’t know I can’t read. Also, it’s special to me because of him…”
I pieced all that together. I think he’s telling me I’m more than them, and now I’m not sure what’s worse. Being like the others or being more?
“If I already know you can’t read well, why bring me here?” I had to test it.
He was quiet, then, “Maybe because I just wanted you to see another thing that is part of me.”
We just studied one another a long while. I feel what he’s saying. I want to embrace it.
“You’re gonna have to order for us then,” I said breaking the moment. “Because I have no fucking clue what I want.”
He gave me the smirk, “I don’t think you ever do.”
Chapter Twenty
TRIXIE
October was a great month to spend in NYC. The city is absolutely gorgeous. Now this feels like home. Now I’m settled and with each performance, our fan base grows.
“Five minutes!” Zeus yelled to me. I hurried from the bar where I was talking to Liam to check the guys backstage but what I found was a seriously pissed off Adam and a jumpy band.
“Um…” Knox came up to me with a wince, “we need to talk to Chance like, stat.”
“Why?” I said as I finger combed my hair and fussed over my dress.
Diego came up and whispered. “We need the boss.”
“What’s going on?” I frowned.
Chance charged my way and growled at everyone, “What the fuck is the problem?”
Blaze had brought him but now Blaze was over by Adam patting his shoulder. “Little dilemma…” he began.
Adam looked pale and was tight lipped with a ticking jaw. He was sitting on a speaker with his back hunched.
“What’s going on?” I asked again.
Blaze opened his mouth to speak but Adam cut him off with a hoarse squeeze of his vocal chords, “I- fucking- voice.” His words were so broken up we all strained to understand.
“Are you okay?” I went over and brushed the hair from his brow but he ducked away from me.
“No! Not- it- can’t- fucking sing!” Adam rasped.
I set the back of my hand over his forehead, “You’re burning up!”
Knox held Bianca’s hand as she came backstage to witness our little drama. “He has laryngitis,” Knox told us. “He can’t sing. He has no voice.”
We all stood in a frenzied freakout but all I could think was I suck. I’m his girlfriend even if we are on a break and I didn’t even know he was sick. We spend zero time together. I should have been the first to see it but we don’t talk much.
Chance roared over all of us, “Work it out.” He barked. “You have two minutes to be on stage. The show must go on, so work it the hell out!” he glared at Adam, “Next time give people a heads up instead of playing the fucking macho card.”
Adam jumped up, “Fuck off- bastard- trying- didn’t know- the-.” His voice kept cutting out.
Knox went over and pulled Adam’s shoulder back, “Cool it, Pop.”
Adam shrugged him off.
Oh, the testosterone right now…
Chance got in Adam’s face, “I have a club to run! Two minutes! You wanna tell me who is gonna sing in two minutes?!”
Adam was like a skipping DVD saying, “Bianca’s got- the DJ- making it a- dramatic- goddamn,” Adam got annoyed with his own voice and kicked the speaker over.
“Alright, calm down,” Blaze interjected. “Arguing won’t fix this. We need to get a game plan.”
Diego pointed one of Blaze’s drumsticks my way, “Trixie, could sing? She’s bueno.Very talented.”
I shook my head, “No, no, no, I do back up. I’m not singing in front of all these people. I didn’t-.”
Knox touched my arm, “I can back you. You know all the songs Ma, you can do this.”
“No,” Chance corrected, “She will do this. Because I’m not losing customers because they expected a performance they aren’t getting.”
I snapped, “Do you really need to make this worse?” I shouted.
Diego sighed, “Listen, Trix, you got the voice. You got to do this.”
I shook my head, “Knox,” I turned to him, “we don’t harmonize that strongly. I’ll falter and it will sound so bad. We can’t chance that.”
“What about Liam?” Blaze blurted.
We all stared at him like he was nuts. Adam looked ready to rip his voice box out and Chance looked plainly lost.
“My bartender?” Chance questioned.
I was struck with a thought, “Oh my God, Liam and I harmonize…” I looked over at Adam and he glanced away. This would sting a little. “Adam,” I went over and held his elbow, “Stud, we don’t have a choice. Liam and I play together often enough that we know one another’s sounds and he knows all the songs too. I’m so sorry but I think we need him.”
Adam’s eyes flicked to our boss’s and I found that odd but then he was looking at me again. He nodded once then pulled from me.
“Move,” Chance growled.
I took off from backstage and searched the club for Liam. I saw him mixing drinks and smiling as he laughed with a customer. I ran up and pushed behind the bar, “Liam!” I grabbed his sleeve, “Liam, I need a favor.”
“Sure,” he held up his finger to the customer and stepped my way. “Anything, what’s up? Are you okay?”
“Adam’s voice is toast and we need a lead guitarist. They want me to sing but Liam, you, I need you. I can’t sing without a backup. It’s my first time.”
He looked as panicked as I felt, “What about the bar?”
“Chance can take over here but Liam, will you do this? Please? This could really hurt our influence if we don’t go on and Chance is like one temper flare up from firing us.” I don’t think he would but this would be damaging either way.
He untied his apron, “Okay. Yeah. Alright.”
I breathed for the first time as Zeus went out on stage to do our intro; a longer than usual one to buy us time. Liam and I ran for backstage and I started working out the lineup. Adam left before I could say anything and as I looked over the songs I shook so badly I thought I would pass out.
“Hey,” Liam came and took my hand, “Hey, you’re going to do great.”
“I’m not ready for this. I haven’t even practiced. I have to project. What the fuck am I even doing-?”
“Trix,” he turned me and held my shoulders, “Sing the song.”
“What song?”
“The one you wrote…” he cupped my face. “Music is in your soul. You don’t have to study it, or practice it. That day in the park, when we met, did you practice that song? First song you ever sang, did you practice it? You are a singer. You’re a songwriter. You’re a musician. You created all the words this band sings. They’re part of you. It’s about time you sing them.”
Zeus was nearing the end of his intro and I took an unsteady breath, “Look at me,” Liam demanded and gently turned my face up. “Sing the song that means the most. The one you wrote about Adam. It’s been months. It’s time.”
My eyes filled up, “If I sing that, he’ll know what I’m saying. What I’m feeling.”
“Maybe it’s okay if
people know how you feel. You take care of everyone. Let the music take care of you.”
I took a breath and debated with myself but now there’s no time left.
ADAM
Sitting at the bar instead of being on stage is like being benched at a game. It sucks. My stupid voice is still lost and all I can do is watch from my stool as Trixie and my band plus Liam come out to play.
The applause is loud and thunderous and even though I’m beyond frustrated I’m also nervous for her.
“Can she do this?” Chance asked. He was behind the bar getting a beer order from the tap.
I attempted talking, “She has- great voice. I just- she’s freaking.”
He served the last drink and stopped to watch Trixie take her place at my mic. She looks adorable as usual. A plain but skin-tight black dress with nylons and Chuck Taylors. She looked small and she was. Liam had to bring the mic down for her and though I was absent, the crowd gave her so much love. She’s a beloved band member so the fans we have adored her.
“Hi, everyone…” she said nervously. “So… um, Adam… you know, the beat in this band’s heart…” the crowd made tons of noise in my honor and the way she mentioned me made me smile. “He’s a bit under the weather,” she told them and a bunch of ‘awww’ and ‘boo,’ and ‘nooo’ followed. “I know. And trust me,” she laughed, “he’s a tough guy so if he’s not up here, just know he’s no happier about it.”
She bit her lip then released it, “You know, one time I had to slip Nyquil in his coffee to get him to rest?” They all laughed. “Yeah, he had strep and he insisted he could work but his fever was way high…” She caught my eyes and we shared a moment. “Adam is super bull headed. He once performed on stage with a broken leg.”
The audience was totally taken with her and so was I.
“He fell off the stage,” She told them, “and uh, he broke his leg but we only had one more song. The ambulance was ready to go but he insisted and to be honest, two paramedics are no match to an enraged Adam.”
The Significant Other (The Relationship Quo Series Book 4) Page 21