I made circles on her lower back, “I’m sorry then.”
Chance walked to the side of the booth and touched me. I looked up at him then down at Trix.
“What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” he asked of her.
She shrugged, too choked by emotion.
“Liam,” I told him, “She’s regretting what happened.”
“Talk to him,” Chance simplified.
“I can’t find him,” she gritted out.
His brows knit together, “Lorenzo was at the bar tonight.” Chance informed us. “He hired Liam a few months back. I didn’t think anything of it.”
Her head shot to Chance and her eyes calculated the meaning of his words. “He’s got a job?”
Chance nodded, “Lorenzo told me he was looking for one back in May. I told him Liam was a good worker. He hired him. Tonight he said Liam is basically management. He helps run the place with Lorenzo’s family.”
I saw Trixie gnaw at her lower lip and smiled, “Go see him,” I said.
“What do I say?”
“Don’t ask Adam that,” Chance said before dropping his eyes to me, “He’s socially handicapped.”
I shoved him from my seat but he only smiled before bending to kiss me. I don’t wince or pull away anymore. Nor would Chance let me if I tried.
He walked off and I returned my attention to Trix. “Go talk to him. Couldn’t hurt.”
She sighed and kissed my cheek before getting up to go.
When I finally called it quits for the night and went up to Chance’s apartment he was on the phone with one of his less frequent but mysterious calls. “How is he?” He said into the phone. “I’ll send the check. That’s fine. Are you alright? Yes. Yes. I can’t this weekend.”
I listened from the doorway and fought the jealous boyfriend role. Old ways die hard.
“I got the pictures. It was great.” He said. “I thought that too.”
I sat down silently and tried not to look like I was listening but it’s not like I announced my presence either.
“I’ll come by on Saturday. I need to see him.” He said. My whole thought process raced. “Feels weird when it’s been too long.”
I hate that I’m curious. He’s made these calls so often. The bed and breakfast was the first place I heard it.
“Alright,” he said coming to a close, “I love you both. Bye.” He hung up and I swallowed the words he said.
“Who was that?” I asked.
He didn’t jump but he stiffened. “Nobody.” He went for the kitchen.
I stood and followed him, “Then tell me who nobody is.”
“Don’t be paranoid.” He blew me off with the word.
I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched him pour his decaf. “You don’t want me jumping to conclusions but that didn’t sound like a nobody.”
He bristled. “Adam, I share a lot of things with you. You know pretty much every skeleton in my closet. Let this one stay where it is.”
The more he fought it the more I needed to know.
He went to the bedroom where most my things were. Funny but we basically live together. I’m just too coward to get a key from him. I’m here six if not all seven days of the week. It’s not like I planned it but it doesn’t help we wear the same size in clothes, there’s no real excuse to go home.
He got in bed and set an alarm in his phone as he said, “Come on, get in and read or something. I won’t rant about the light.”
I watched him strip to his boxers and get under the covers.
He raised his brows at me, “If you are more comfortable standing and staring at me from the door, that’s fine too. A little creepy, but fine…”
I came in and stripped before putting on flannel bottoms only. I got in and put on my glasses but then stopped before getting my book, “If I took weird calls and didn’t tell you who it was, would you be okay not knowing?”
He laid back, “I have ways of making you talk.”
I glowered at him through my glasses, “Was it family?”
“Leave it alone, Adam.”
“Was it something to do with Jax?”
He sat up and brought our faces close, “Ask what you really want to know.”
I couldn’t.
He caressed my cheek and jaw with his thumb, “I’m not cheating on you. I love you. I love what you did for me tonight. I love that you live here-.”
“I don’t live here-,” I argued.
He laughed, “I love that you’re in denial about it.”
We both laughed.
His lips brushed over my nose, “I know you’ve been hurt by guys. I know I’m a big black mark but I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then who’s calling you?”
He licked his lips like I do, “Respect this. That’s all I’ll say.”
I nodded even though I don’t.
We kissed until reading was last on my mind and I forgot about the secrets while we made love.
TRIXIE
I went to Little Italy and walked the streets with a pace that slugs could surpass. I’m heading for Cibo Degli Dei. The authentic Italian Restaurant that Chance says Liam works at. I’ve never been to this district before, so I’m taking my time and I’m terrified to see him again.
I found it right where Chance said and stood in front of the building for a while. I checked my reflection in a window. I don’t want to seem I dressed like I don’t care, so I’m in a plain, navy, long-sleeve dress that stops above the knee. I don’t want to seem overdressed either so I’m in a deerskin jacket with a patchwork scarf. My ankle high brown boots are a little worn.
I tried asking advice from the two gay men in my life but they both are too straight-like to be of use. Makes me wonder if women put too much stock in clothes. Do men even see those things?
I went in and waited at the front.
“Hello!” A girl came bounding my way with two long braids, “Welcome! How many this afternoon?”
I looked all around as she talked. “Um, just one.”
“Is a booth okay?”
I made myself hear her, “Oh, yeah that’s fine.”
She led me to a tiny two person booth. This place is beautiful. The atmosphere is so romantic but I’m too nervous to enjoy it.
I looked through my menu and bugged my eyes. God. There’s like a whole novel here.
I was on page fifteen when someone sat across from me in my booth and said, “The spaghetti alle vongole is amazing.” The familiar voice raved. “So is the Minestrone soup. I remember you like soups in the fall.”
I drifted my eyes upward to find Liam. I smiled and struggled to find something to say, “Hey,” that’s all that came out.
“Hey.” He went with that and studied me. “You changed your hair.”
I touched the ends, “Yeah,” it’s now fire engine red with streaks of burnt orange. “I…I was sort of hoping you would be working.”
He sat back, “I cook in the back. My kitchen skills finally paid off.”
“Do they serve gumbo at Italian places?” I teased.
He laughed and the rich sound of it made me happy, “Nope, but I can read recipes so…”
I nodded. “Where are you staying now?”
“They pay well enough here for me to get a place. It’s not much, just one room but it’s mine and its working.”
I remember how handsome Liam is but seeing him makes it worse. He’s in a black t-shirt and black slacks, it seems to be the uniform here but he’s wearing a black apron as well. His fine figure is stressing some parts and it’s nice.
“I’m happy for you then.” I meant it.
“How are you?”
I sat up, “I’m great. I do more solos. The band is facing tours and Adam… he’s blossomed with Chance.”
“How are the guys?”
“The same; foolish, funny, and sweet as pie. Knox and Bianca are serious still. Blaze is…” I laughed, “As far from serious with any woman.” He laughed too. “Diego is invested with
the music.”
His green eyes were perceptive. “How’s Jolee?”
I shook my head. “That.” I traced all sides of my menu. “The day you left…Jolee admitted to taking your safe combo.”
His face smoothed out so I couldn’t read his thoughts. “Did she?”
“Yeah. She was in trouble again and…” I sucked my lower lip, “I never should have doubted you. It was…”
He smiled again, “Trix,” he waited until I looked. “It’s okay. I’m over it.”
I picked at the menu, “I’m not. I couldn’t even tell you. You completely disappeared. I don’t blame you at all but…”
“I shouldn’t have left like that,” he said looking to the side of the booth, “Then I felt too embarrassed to come back.” He put his eyes on me, “You’re a good person and you didn’t deserve that.”
“I did a little.” I reached across and took his hand. He held it tighter. “I’m sorry, Liam.”
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. “It’s really okay. Thanks to you I got a lot of what I lost back again. I’m happy and I’m especially happy to see you.”
I felt a sun rise in my chest. “How’s Buddy?” I inquired.
He paused, “He’s great. I finally took him to a groomer.”
We laughed until the girl from the front with the braids came to touch Liam’s shoulder, “I’m sorry to interrupt you guys,” she looked genuinely sorry, “but we have a twelve top coming in.”
Liam grimaced, “Oh boy,” he apologized with his eyes, “I have to go, but-.”
“That’s okay.”
“Oh!” he took the girl’s hand and I took mine back, “Trixie, this is, Giada. Giada is the owner’s sister.”
“Hi,” I waved, “we met up front.”
She grinned and I noticed she had dimples like Liam, “Yes! So you are Trix? I’ve heard a lot about you from Liam. You’re even prettier than I thought.”
I blushed, “Thank you.”
“Okay,” Liam stood, “I have to go,” he kissed her, just a quick peck on the lips but it made all my insides drop what felt like ninety feet. “I’ll see you in a bit,” he told her then smiled at me again, so full of warmth, “Maybe we can catch up soon,” he told me.
I couldn’t get words to come out so I just swallowed around the lump and nodded.
As soon as he was gone Giada sat where he had been and beamed at me, “Liam, said you’re a lead singer in Riders of Beat! Could I get your autograph?” She pulled a pen and waitress notebooks from her apron and I tried to focus.
“You’re a fan?” I smiled so fake it hurt my cheeks.
“Hell yeah! You guys are amazing. Liam said he played for you guys a few times. He’s so talented isn’t he?”
I fought back tears, “Yeah… he is.”
“I should see if my brother would let you perform here one night. We don’t have a stage but we could clear room.”
I scribbled my name and flashed another fake smile, “Maybe.”
She saw the door open behind me. “I have to get up front but if you stay, dessert is on me, okay?”
I nodded and she hurried to the door.
I hyperventilated a little. I almost made a fool of myself. Liam moved on and why not? It had been eight months.
I grabbed my purse and waited until Giada was sitting people to sneak out. I can’t eat now and I don’t want to risk seeing Liam again.
I bolted and raced down the sidewalk.
When I reached home, my intentions were bowls of ice cream salted with tears of despair. I schlepped to my door but stopped in my tracks when I saw who was there.
Jolee was sitting by my entrance with a giant purse and giant baby bump. “Hi, Sis.” She tried to smile but it was a sad one.
ADAM
I saw Chance leave on Saturday like he told the person on the phone and I might be following him. I’m not proud but I can’t live with secrets and this is the only one haunting us.
Zeus drove us in silence until we reached a suburban block.
“You know what this is but you won’t tell me,” I said to Zeus.
He smiled, “I can’t. You know how he is. Maybe if you see for yourself you’ll understand.”
“If you’re so loyal, why take me?”
“Because he should have told you by now and strangely enough, I be on your side.”
He pulled over three houses away. “Go ahead.”
I saw Chance park in a driveway and without question, I got out of Zeus’ car. October is cold but not bad. I crossed my arms to keep off the chill as I watched Chance light a cigarette in the driveway and smoke it before going to the door.
A very elegant looking black woman opened the door before he knocked. She smiled and went into his arms.
I felt a kick to my gut. Not again.
I saw him smile and kiss her cheek before going inside and I felt sick. I turned back to the car but Zeus locked the door and rolled the window down, “Don’t think so, white boy. You go talk it out.”
“I’ve seen enough,” I snapped trying the door again.
“You break my car; I’ll break your hand.”
“Zeus, I’m not in the mood.” I was cutting up inside. It felt like I swallowed glass. “Let me in. I get it. I saw it.”
He shook his head, “Go.” He pointed to the house.
“And do what? Break in and watch them fuck?”
He didn’t say anything, just pointed at the nice house.
I decided maybe I did need to see it. It would teach me to stop trusting men, once and for all. I’ve never given myself to anyone like I have Chance but Chance is what he is. A player. By the looks of it, he’s a straight one too.
I made the walk of agony to the door of the woman that held more of Chance’s heart than me and with no clue what to do after, I knocked.
After a good wait, the door opened and Chance stood in my way. His face fell and the color drained. His reaction made me hate him even more for this.
“Adam.”
I walked away. I can’t do this. I thought I could. I can’t. It’s fucking prom all over again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
ADAM
“Adam,” Chance came down the porch steps and followed me, “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Just reminding myself why this was a mistake.”
He stood in my way, “How the hell did you get here?”
I jerked my head at Zeus’ car.
If his eyes had lasers, Zeus would be toast.
“You know what,” I reasoned, “I’m glad I saw it. Yeah. It’s a good thing. You know Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same shit over and expecting different results. That’s me. Being insane. Expecting someone to just not fuck me over.”
“It’s complicated,” he tried. “It’s not half what you think but you probably wouldn’t like it either way.”
I looked him up and down, “You prefer women?”
“No.” He walked to his car like he needed to think. “I’m trying.” He admitted.
I waited but I already know it’s over for us. I’m trying not to throw up. I don’t know for sure if I can quit Chance. I’ve never been in this deep.
“Just say it. Who is she?” I bridged.
He scratched his beard then closed his eyes, “I don’t want to lose you, Adam. You’re the only one I want. I don’t know how else to prove that.”
“Telling the truth,” I steeled myself. “This isn’t enough for you, right?”
“No,” he said, annoyed.
“Are you married? Is this your home or something?”
“God, no Adam! Jesus, just stop.”
I waited again.
He looked everywhere but in my eyes, until the bravado finally was mustered. “While I was in prison… Lamar slept with a woman. It was just the one time, he was…I don’t know why. He was lonely, maybe.” He crossed his arms, “She got pregnant. He went into the army… not just because of my getting put away but be
cause he wanted to be able to provide for his kid.”
I still didn’t see where this all fit in. He saw it on my face and went on, “Leslie, is the girl he slept with. His son is eight and I pay to keep them here. Out of the projects. Away from what Lamar and I grew up in. He may be gone but to know this part of him exists is what got me through it. I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure you would understand. I love you and Lamar is gone. I’ll always care about him. I can’t help that. His son is all I have and his fucking dog tags.”
He walked further away and then circled back, “I’m sorry, but I promised myself to take care of them and I won’t stop.”
I digested the truth and it settled without trouble. It was easy to hear and easy to take. “You’re not involved with her?” I asked.
“No! Leslie is like family. She knows Lamar wasn’t in love with her and she knows he was with me. She lets me be part of his son and…” he took too long to say.
“What?” I asked.
“She’s a teacher, she works with me sometimes… with reading and shit.”
Before he could say anything else I closed the space between us and took his mouth. I let myself go on him, pressing my lips into his and tangling our tongues.
He pulled back and frowned, “I won’t stop,” he warned.
I smiled, “I don’t want you to stop. You really think this would have upset me? You think I don’t understand why the boy holds meaning for you? Chance, I know I wasn’t first. You know that you weren’t. I was with Trixie for a long time and I’m still her friend. Why wouldn’t I see what this is? I know you loved Lamar. I didn’t know him but I respect him. If providing for them and being in this kid’s life is what you need, then…” I held his face, “Then I don’t want you to stop.”
He smiled and kissed me again. I’m really rocking this PDA thing.
I rubbed his shoulders, “May I meet him?” I asked, uncertain. “If it’s crossing a line, I understand.”
“No,” he brought our noses close, “I want you to.”
We went inside where Leslie sat with a cup of tea. She smiled when she saw us and on the couch playing a game on an iPad was a carbon copy of the guy I’d only seen in pictures. Lamar’s kid was a perfect match. He smiled when he saw us and made room for Chance to sit.
The Significant Other (The Relationship Quo Series Book 4) Page 29