by Tufo, Mark
“I’d like to say I’m surprised you’re here, Lieutenant, but I guess I’d be more surprised if you weren’t. Any chance you’ll just go home and we can forget that you pulled a gun on my MP?”
“Gunny!” I yelled. “I don’t seem to remember holding a gun on you, because if I remembered that there’s a good chance I’d remember why I’m even here to begin with!”
He gave me the finger.
“It often amazes me, despite your lack of ability to make friends, those closest to you remain fervently loyal.”
“I only like him, sir, because I’m dating his sister,” BT said.
“You’re the best,” I told him sarcastically.
“I could order you,” Bennington said.
“You could, sir, and out of respect, I’d leave, but you know I would just double my efforts to find out exactly what’s going on, and obviously you don’t have a tight enough lid on this. I figure we should just skip the middlemen and all the strong-arm dealings I’d have to do behind your back. Plus, I have a lot of owed favors out there that I’d rather save for something good.”
“Black market been good to you?” Bennington asked.
“Sir, I’m actually a little embarrassed by how many sex dolls I’ve had to smuggle inside. The people I’ve got them for, though, they’d do anything to make sure that stays a secret, and trust me, they’re well placed.”
“Bordering on phrasing there,” BT chimed in.
“He knows what I mean,” I told him.
“Sex dolls? Really?”
“Big business.” BT was slumped slightly in his seat like maybe he was bored with the whole thing and was ready for a nap.
“I’ve had other, less savory requests, but I stay on this side of the up and up, sir,” I told him. “People want to get their rocks off with a large slab of rubber...”
“Silicone,” BT corrected. “Rubber would chafe.”
“Rubber, silicone, fruits and vegetables, I don’t care. Usually gets me cases of beer, food, or more importantly, information.”
“This information; it’s important to you?” Bennington asked.
“Ever since we brought your deluxe party favor back, yes sir, it is. Like I said, I respect you, but you’re still only a man. A man with most of the power in the general area and no one to answer to. Sometimes that thought keeps me up at night.”
“What. So now you’re like, my silent adviser?” He smiled.
“I like to think of it more as the person who will keep your conscience in check if the need arises.”
“You’re skirting subversion here, Lieutenant.”
“Not how I meant it, sir. I’m just a lot more leery about trusting those in power. There’s a reason why we’re in the situation we are. This is your base, and I think the job you’re doing is admirable. Think of it as my looking out for my family and friends’ well-being. I don’t care who it is, sir, I will not allow anyone to jeopardize their safety. That is my top priority, and always will be.”
Bennington eyed me for a few moments before he sighed. “I wish your honesty was more tempered. There’s a lot of times I wish you’d keep what you know to yourself.”
“Amen to that,” BT said.
“I want to talk to you privately.”
“Sir, you realize that two seconds after you tell me, I’m telling them, right?”
“I swear to God, Talbot, if you were any other officer in my corps I would push you out so fast there’s a good chance you’d be able to see your own ass as it flew through the gate.”
I said nothing.
He looked over my shoulder at BT, who had perked up. Justin had not left the driver’s seat. “The SEALs are bringing in a live subject. D112.” He said nothing more.
“The sheer number of markers I am going to have to call in tonight is going to be staggering. I’m going to need a bigger truck next time I go out, bring back a whole battalion of those sex warriors.”
“Where does one find a battalion of sex warriors?” the colonel asked.
“Weirdest place I ever walked into. A factory the size of an airplane hangar. For a fraction of a second, I thought we had come across some weird stasis hive. Was about to firebomb the whole lot. Glad I took a closer look; it’s been a damn goldmine.”
“The food we found in there alone…” BT rubbed his belly.
“Excuse him, sir. If he had to rely solely on my sister’s ability to cook, he would have wasted away a good long while ago. Who knew making sex dolls was such a food-intensive endeavor?”
“Preach it, brother,” BT said.
“Sir?” I prodded him.
“D112, or as you named him, Dewey.”
Any lingering effects I had from the alcohol were quickly burned away in the anger that swept across my brain like a flash flame. My mouth was flapping, but as of yet, I could not think of anything even semi-literate to say.
“Tell me he didn’t say what I think he did?” BT asked as he stepped out of the Hummer, which thanked him by letting out a relief-squeal from its shocks.
“What he said.”
“Lieutenant, you yourself said this particular zombie was a turning point in the evolution of their species. I thought it more than important that this be a subject we capture live, to experiment on. Extensively.”
I did a large circle around the area, doing my utmost to not rail and swear at the colonel. I was having limited success reeling myself in.
“Are you mad?” I asked. Before he could answer, I once again started my orbital journey.
“Lieutenant, I have other pressing matters to attend to that don’t include you making crop circles. Can we talk for a moment?”
I got down on my haunches and grabbed a fistful of grass before standing back up. I’m not going to sugar-coat it and say I’m even remotely one of the great thinkers of my day, or even of the people standing there with me. Advanced rational thought processes are just not part of my genetic make-up. Some see that as a huge flaw, maybe even most, but that same design imperfection can be a boon. When given limited options and facts, I still manage to get things done because, yeah, I never have to worry about over-thinking anything. But right there and then, there were so many misfiring neurons in my head I couldn’t even think of anything to say. Maybe some of it had to do with the alcohol, but rendered speechless? Not even having some smart-ass comment to diffuse my fear? Brand new thing for me. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, and still, I blessed Bennington with silence.
“I can tell by your reaction you don’t approve.”
Had fifty or so quips for that one. Went with the old standby. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Great value to be had here, Lieutenant, I don’t think you see the bigger picture.”
And just like a slap to a faulty piece of electronics, I came back to life. “Not seeing the bigger picture? I’ve seen the entire picture in all of its disgustingness. Funny thing about that picture, Colonel, is that it’s soaked in blood. So while it might give the illusion you’re looking through rose-colored glasses, I can assure you, it’s just death.”
“Gunny, could you please get your lieutenant under control? It appears he’s on the edge of histrionics.” Bennington was done.
“Sir, there’s not many times I agree with the LT; this happens to be one of them. I was there. I saw what that zombie was capable of, and I can’t help but think that Dewey let himself get caught.”
“You as well? You somehow think this zombie knew we were coming and allowed himself to be taken prisoner? For what reason?”
“Talk about not seeing the bigger picture. You’re bringing a starving lion right into the sheep pen. Why do you think he would want to come here?” Spittle was flying from my mouth along with the words. “He’s got food for days. The best thing you could do right now is radio your men and have them put a bullet in its head. Don’t let him come in here. If we survive this, history will show you as the man that opened the gates of Troy to the big fat wooden horse.”
/> “Get back to what you were doing, Lieutenant.” Bennington motioned for the military police. “Please escort the lieutenant and the others back to their living quarters.”
“With pleasure, sir,” Gunny Cabaro said. “Easy way or your way?” he asked. “And just so you know, I’m hoping you go for option two.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Colonel Bennington said.
My eyes were darting back and forth between the two; safe to say I wanted to take a swing at both.
“Come on, Mike, nothing good is going to come from anything here and you don’t want to be in the brig when the shit goes down.” BT had placed a hand on each of my shoulders.
“Big mistake, Colonel. I promise I won’t say ‘I told you so,’ but yeah, you can rest assured I’ll be thinking it,” I said before I let BT guide me back to the hummer. “Gunny, I want to know the second zombies start attacking the gates. Get us the fuck out of here, Justin. I’m afraid the stupid might be catching.”
Once we got out of sight, I had Justin take a couple of lefts and then stop.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I got out and crossed over a Major Dylan’s lawn, according to the lettering on the mailbox.
“Should be able to see the gate from this backyard,” I said. “And if I was smart enough to have brought a rifle, I’d take a shot.”
“Can I help you?” A petite blond opened the door and watched as I headed to the gate that led to the back.
“We won’t be long,” I told her.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you; Bruno isn’t good with strangers,” she said just as I laid my hand on the latch.
“Is the major home? I just need a few minutes,” I asked.
She smiled. “I’m the major; is that so hard to believe?”
“Shit, Talbot. You could get in trouble at a pirate convention,” BT said.
“What the hell does that even mean?” I asked.
“You know, because all they are is trouble, and you’d somehow top all of that to stand out.”
“Lieutenant Talbot?” the major asked.
“Thanks for using my name, Gunnery Sergeant Lawrence BT Tynes, service number…”
“I think she gets it,” BT growled.
“Don’t concern yourself, Lieutenant. I would have recognized the gunny first; it wouldn’t have been hard to figure out who was with him.”
“I’m the sidekick now?”
“What can I help you with?” she asked.
“Just need to watch the gate for a minute from your backyard, that is, if you and Bruno don’t mind.”
“Anything I should know about?”
BT subtlety shook his head but, you know, when you’re a giant, not much you do is subtle.
“You know, I was putting some dishes away; I just happened to look out my kitchen window—I have a great view of the gate. I saw you, then the colonel, and if I’m not mistaken, it very much looked like you were getting kicked out of the general area.”
“Just a misunderstanding on the colonel’s part. Can I go in?”
“You’ve yet to tell me why. What do you think, Gunny, should I call the colonel and ask him if it’s all right?”
“Come on, Mike, let’s just go.” BT seemed resigned.
“No, you know what? Maybe more people need to know. As a lieutenant, it’s not like I have a ton of pull around here. But a major, well, that could be helpful.”
“It’s going to be difficult for me to make any sort of decision if I don’t know what we’re talking about.”
“Mike, this could be considered treason.” BT was heading my way, most likely to clamp a hand over my mouth.
“Major, where do you work?” I asked.
“Does that matter?” she replied.
“It could. I mean, if you’re the colonel’s attaché or something like that, I’m figuring this goes straight from my mouth to his ear.”
“If I worked in his office, don’t you think I’d already know? And with the sheer number of times you’ve been called down there, I think we’d have met more than once.”
“I don’t think I like that you know that about me.”
“Relax, it’s indirectly. You send me enough customers, and they like to talk about your group. I run the base hospital.”
“Oh…no wonder Kirby always has some ailment that needs checking out.”
The major laughed. “I think that has more to do with some of my nurses, but thank you. So?” she prompted.
“Shit.” I looked over to BT, who again shook his head.
“You’re gonna do it anyway, so just tell her. For the record, ma’am, I would like it to be known I told him not to. Haven’t you had enough of court-martial proceedings?” That was directed at me.
“Relax, I’m not seven. I don’t feel the need to tell everything to my superior officers, and you have no idea how much strangeness comes across my desk. Just the other day there was an unfortunate issue between a couple and their, let’s say, sex toy; part of it broke off in a most unfortunate place.”
BT and I looked at each other.
“Yeah, unfortunate,” I said.
BT’s lips were pursed.
“If I can keep that level of discretion, I think it’s safe to say I can keep anything quiet.”
“But you just told us about it,” I said.
“I think you know why I said something. I’m a medical professional; it can be like a confessional booth in that exam room. There’s not much I don’t know in regards to why I’m seeing a patient.”
“I just pick up the contraband; I can’t guarantee its usability. Who knows what kind of kinkiness was involved? Sex swing, trampoline, motors, all sorts of strangeness in the world,” I said.
“Just shut up,” BT said.
“Too close to home?” I asked.
“Remember who I’m with.”
“Fuck, man! You just took away a whole spectrum of things I could give you shit about.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly why I did it, moron.”
The major looked over her shoulder. “Oh…it looks like something is happening.”
I grabbed the latch and was rewarded with the deep bass growl of Bruno, who I was assuming was not a Chihuahua.
“Rottweiler, pinscher mix,” the major said with a wry smile. “Aggressively defensive.”
I stepped back from the gate.
“We were on a mission in New York,” I started.
“Mike,” BT cautioned, “everything we do is classified.”
“I know that, BT, but Bennington can’t just do whatever he wants, autonomously.”
“You an ally or an adversary?” BT asked the major.
“Right now, I’m a neutral third party,” she responded.
“We were in New York, picked up some scientists doing some research, new tech on how to kill zombies, fairly impressive—except for one serious side-effect.” I took a breath. The moment I said what I was about to, could be my undoing. Almost didn’t matter, as the decision-making program running in my head had already come to the conclusion I would tell her. “There’s a small percentage that don’t die. Something in them mutates; the ones that survive, they’re altered.”
“Altered how?” I had piqued her interest.
“If I end up in front of a firing squad…”
“You won’t end up there. Remember, it’s my job to heal people, not hurt them,” she said.
“They grow smart, like, human capabilities smart. They can talk to us, communicate with their kind, and not just verbally, but through minds.”
“Telepathy? Are you sure?”
“If I was alone, I’d say no, that I’d had some strange flashback, or all the drugs I’ve taken through the years finally caught up with me. But my squad is witness to it, and we were not suffering from some sort of group hallucination.”
“Let me get this straight. You’re saying there are zombies out there right now that are equal to us in intelligence?”
“Some would say even sm
arter than him,” BT threw in there for good measure.
The major continued her thought. “They can speak? To us and others?”
“We didn’t have time to study its…his limitations, but from what we observed, he can speak to them from a distance. Whether his signal can reach out at length or whether he has his subordinates relay the message. Either way, it doesn’t matter; the colonel is bringing that monster straight through our gates.”
“Bruno!” The major had turned back into the house. I could hear the dog chugging through the yard and then the clacking of its nails on the floor inside her home. In an instant, Bruno was at her side. The dog was enormous; no doubt in my mind it weighed more than she did. It stood watching us, hair bristled, teeth showing, and a fair amount of drool flowing from its muzzle. “Friends,” she said softly. Suddenly his whole demeanor changed. He looked to her, looked at us, barked happily, then sat.
“Maybe you should have her train your dogs. She obviously knows what she’s doing.”
“My dogs are trained,” I defended.
“The only thing they’re trained to do is eat their food.”
“What more do they need to know? Can I come in?” I asked, once again moving toward the gate.
She nodded. I’d not taken three steps into her backyard when Bruno rounded the corner, all slobber and jowls. He sniffed me a few times; I tentatively patted his head, making sure he didn’t want to rip my arm off. Then he was content to follow me to the edge of the property. BT, Justin, and the major joined me. We watched as the gate opened. There were two Hummers, a troop transport truck, and an armored swat truck, repurposed for our base.
The major had a pair of binoculars and was watching as men and women spilled out of the Hummers and trucks. “There are two SEAL teams down there and a special forces unit. Whatever it is must be pretty important.”
“Or dangerous,” I said.
The colonel walked to the back of the armored transport. He had one of the SEALs open the door. Two men stood to each side of him, rifles pointing inside. After the colonel got the look he wanted, the doors were shut and the transport headed further in, presumably to a testing facility I’d not known about, but was going to locate sooner rather than later. The entire show lasted less than a minute, then the personnel dispersed, their jobs done.