by D. N. Hoxa
Sadly, when we first made that deal, I hadn’t imagined that I’d end up caring for Red more than was reasonable, considering the circumstances and our very natures.
Red kept silent for a long while. I didn’t know what to feel except the relief that he lived. He hadn’t died. I hadn’t been the reason he no longer existed. It was going to have to do. But before I made up my mind to get up and leave, Red spoke again.
“If I’d known…”
His voice trailed off, and he started again.
“I didn’t want to leave you, Victoria. I’m not usually like this, but with you, I fell into this habit of putting your safety before my own. I couldn’t let the ECU find you with me, or you would have never again seen the light of day. I couldn’t do that to you, so blame me, but not for leaving you—because I didn’t. Blame me for not telling you first, or after.”
It was time to face the music. Red was a decent guy for a vampire. I would always care for him, but our deal was done. We’d both made it out alive. I couldn’t have asked for a better ending.
“I’m glad you got your item back, and I’m glad you’re okay,” I said, because no matter what he said, it didn’t get rid of that nasty feeling that had spread over my chest like a fucking virus: Red was alive. He’d left me all alone—thinking that I’d cost him his life. And I still didn’t know how to handle that.
“I’m glad you’re okay, too. What happened? Is Amara okay? Your sister?” Red said, sounding every bit as excited as he had before.
I stared into his eyes again, unable to come to terms with the fact that he was really there. For so long, I’d thought he was dead. I thought I sent him straight to his death, and I had still been trying to learn to live with that. I’d cried for him every night and thought about him every waking hour, more so than was reasonable. I’d mourned him in my own way, and now, he was here, pretending that everything was okay, that he’d never left. That I’d never really been broken, like I’d thought. It had all just been a lie.
“She’s…they’re fine,” I finally said.
Even my wolf had woken up, curious to see Red with her own eyes. She didn’t like him much—he was a vampire, after all—but I could tell that even she was glad that he hadn’t died. Unlike me, though, she didn’t feel betrayed.
“Amara is okay. Still trying to go after Haworth. I got my sister out that night and Finn set her up in a new place with a new identity, but she decided to run away and go back to Haworth. And we…she, uh…”
It was too much. I couldn’t look him in the eyes and pretend the past month hadn’t happened. I stood up.
“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
It might have been a childish thing to do, but I just needed some time.
“Victoria, no,” Red said, and when I left the bar, he followed me. I wished he hadn’t.
“Please, just leave me—”
He grabbed me by my arm and spun me around. “It’s fine. You can say to me whatever you want, okay?” He grabbed my face in his hands and came close until his eyes were all I could see. “You can call me every name in the book, but I’m not going anywhere. Not again, okay?”
“It’s not that simple.” I wished it were.
“Then make it. Hit me. Do whatever you need to do—just don’t ask me to leave you alone because I won’t.” Planting a kiss on my forehead, he held me against his chest, and I cried in silence. “I didn’t leave you the first time, either. I swear to you, I didn’t,” he repeated, over and over again.
Maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he’d had no other choice. Maybe he cared.
I wanted to believe him, I did! I just…didn’t know how. But I didn’t ask him to leave me alone. I didn’t want to be alone, not now. Not ever. A million times I’d imagined what it would be like if I saw him again, but in my imagination, it hadn’t hurt this much. I let him hold me while we both pretended that the world and the people walking around us weren’t there and that my tears weren’t still sliding down my cheeks. I wasn’t sure what they were for, but I let them fall. Lately, I was just letting things happen without care. I used to care about every little thing with a passion, and I was more often wrong than not, but not anymore. I’d changed too much.
“Can we go somewhere inside?” Red said after a while. “In a few minutes, the sun is going to burn me. My time is up.”
I still didn’t understand how his enchanted item worked, but I didn’t argue. I turned my head the other way and wiped my tears, and I let him lead me away.
13
I thought he was going to want to take us all the way to the Lair in the Bronx, but Red took us to a hotel nearby instead. He wasn’t happy about it, but he had no other choice. He was already very warm to the touch, and I didn’t want to think about finding a safer place to stay if it put him in danger of burning up. Not now, after everything.
I went inside the hotel room first and drew the blinds and drapes over all the windows, before he followed. We were on the eighth floor, which was too far from the main street for my liking, but it was the only available room the hotel had. We’d just have to stay in there until nightfall, and then we could find a better place. I still had the spell stones Vince had given me, and as far as I knew, Haworth wasn’t after Red.
When we finally settled in the small hotel room in the two armchairs in front of the windows, Red took out a bottle of water from the minibar and handed it to me. As I drank, I looked at him through the corner of my eye. He was smiling still, and I couldn’t bring myself to do the same.
“So Izzy escaped,” he said after I left the bottle on the table.
“She did,” I said reluctantly and told him everything that had happened since he’d disappeared from Haworth’s house.
He never interrupted me until the very last sentence, but somewhere after I told him that Finn had fallen into the coma by protecting me and how Vince had escorted me to that apartment all by himself, he became very angry.
“That is dangerous,” he said when I was finished. “Very dangerous. If he’d found you, he would have gotten you.”
“Trust me, I know.” Between the apartment and the hospital, it would have been easy as a breeze for Haworth to come for me.
“He was looking for the Reaper,” Red said. “You still have it, right?”
I patted my jean pocket. “Right here.” I never went anywhere without it. “Amara said he’s looking for ten items, and he’s already got nine, but she doesn’t think he’s coming for the Reaper again. Maybe it’s too much trouble?”
“No, it’s not too much trouble, but he’s found something that’s more powerful than it.”
My blood turned to stone. “How do you know that?”
With a deep sigh, Red leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I met someone—someone who knows Haworth. Used to work for him.”
“And?”
“And he’s far more powerful than we can imagine, Victoria,” he said, his voice slightly shaking. Which was a first. “I think it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“To leave,” he said. “To leave the States. This side of the world.”
I laughed. “Are you…are you serious?”
“Victoria, he’s not alone,” he said. “Haworth is not alone.”
“So? We guessed from the beginning that there was a chance he was working for someone.”
“He is, but I had no idea who that someone was.”
“Now you do?” Was he the reason Red was suddenly so afraid?
“I do. He’s…” Throwing his hands in the air, Red sighed. “He’s a bad man. No—not man. He’s no longer a man. He’s a…something. He’s pure power.”
“Who? Who is he?”
Red looked at me as if he was surprised I’d asked. Then, he looked around the room as if to make sure that we were still alone. But we were. Moore had taught me how to never let my guard down. I was constantly sniffing the air for new scents.
“He’s been alive for longer than any other paranorma
l in the world,” Red started.
“A vampire? Maybe a fairy?”
“Neither,” he said. “He used to be a witch, but now, people say he’s more. I don’t know what that means, but I really don’t want to find out.”
“Red, come on. You’re not really telling me anything here.” It was easy to see he didn’t want to, but he had to. I was in on this as much as he was—even more.
“They call him the Antichrist,” he whispered. “He’s been trying to take over for centuries. He’s smart and cunning, and has soldiers all over—soldiers like Haworth.”
“There’s more than one Haworth?”
Red nodded. “A lot more. He gives these people limitless power and lets them grow so that he can use them when the time is right.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. “Wait, wait. If he’s so powerful, why wouldn’t this Antichrist just do all the work himself?”
“Nobody knows,” said Red, itching his thighs. “But they say he can bring back the dead. And I know why Haworth is looking for the ten enchanted items.”
At this point, I was even afraid to ask. “Why is that?”
“Possession. Remember how he manipulated those wolves?” I nodded. “He wants to possess people next, and he needs an incredible energy source to do it. That’s why he needs those items.”
I jumped to my feet, too nervous to stay seated. “But why? Why would he need to possess people when a lot of them are already doing everything he’s asking? It makes no sense!” Haworth had it all: money, power, people. What more did he want?
“It’s just a guess, but I think he wants to do it for him. I think this spell Haworth’s working on is for him. Like I said, these people work for the Antichrist, and if I’m not mistaken, this is why he’s chosen Haworth—because his family specialized in possession in the old days, and he thinks he knows the spell.”
“He does, doesn’t he? Otherwise he wouldn’t have searched for the ten items.” Oh, God. This wasn’t good. Animals were one thing but controlling people? He could just spell any or all of the ECU leaders, and then what?
“I think so, too. Spells like this—possession, necromancy, weather manipulation—were destroyed by the ECU even before the Great War with the fairies, but families handed down grimoires in secret. It’s very possible that Haworth already has the spell and just needs the energy to fuel it.”
I sat back down on the armchair, completely defeated. “Who told you all of this?”
Red hesitated. “A fairy,” he whispered.
He didn’t want to give me a name, so I didn’t push him. “And you trust them?”
“I do. He has no reason to lie to me,” Red said.
“So…so…this Antichrist. Where is he?”
He raised a brow. “No.”
“No?” I laughed. “You think I want to go after him?”
“Just in case you’re thinking about it.” He shrugged.
“No, no, I just want to know.” I might have been desperate, but I didn’t have a death wish. Not yet. If anybody was stronger than Haworth, I really didn’t want to have anything to do with them.
“In that case, nobody knows where he is—and that’s a good thing. I’ve heard about him before, but I always thought people just made him up. A man who can bring people back from the dead is no joke.”
“Indeed,” I agreed.
“That’s why we need to leave asap—tonight.”
I flinched. “Leave the country?” It’s what he’d said, hadn’t he?
“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it. We can go to Thailand. I’ve lived there for a few years, and it’s a great place,” Red continued.
I hated to ruin this for him, but…“Red, I can’t leave.”
“Yes, you can. Haworth won’t be able to find you in Thailand. Or we can go to Russia, but it’s colder there. It just has to be the other side of the world.”
I shook my head. “My sister is here. My mother…and Finn. He gave his life for me, and he still hasn’t woken up. I couldn’t do that to him.” I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I walked away from him now.
“Victoria, I’m telling you, Haworth is no joke. He’s come after you once already. It’s only a matter of time before he does it again,” he warned.
“I know that, but I can’t leave. I just can’t.” Even if it was with Red. God knows I wanted to. I was already in deep with him, and the idea of getting to know him while being free of the constant threat looming over my head had my heartbeat soaring. But there was too much for me here. I couldn’t just turn my back to them and forget they existed.
Disappointed, Red rested back on the seat. “So you want to go after Haworth.”
I looked away. “I don’t know.” The truth was: I know I can’t.
“If you don’t stop him, he’ll come after you again. There’s only so many times he can fail,” Red said through gritted teeth.
Before, I’d wanted nothing more than to fight Red every step of the way, and not just because he was a vampire, but because what I felt for him scared me to death. Now, though, that desire was gone. Now I wanted to talk to him, to hear his thoughts, to know him. But this particular subject was very, very sensitive.
“I know that, Red. I’m stuck here, okay? I made a deal with Finn and I can’t break it, not after everything he’s done for me.”
“Your life is more important!” he insisted.
“His life is important to me! He was the only one who was there for me after everything that happened. I am not going to just abandon him!”
“Even if it costs you your life?” Red spit.
I asked myself that same question, and the answer was simple: “Yes.”
Frustrated, Red stood up and turned his back on me. I didn’t want him to be angry. I didn’t want either of us to be angry, but I couldn’t accept what he was asking of me.
“I respect your loyalty,” he finally said. “But you have to look at the bigger picture here. Finn jumped in front of the spell for you. That means he wants you to live, and if Haworth finds you, you’re done for.”
“So I’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t find me.”
Red turned to me, a dumbfounded smile on his face. “And when he does?”
I pulled my lips inside my mouth and looked the other way. I didn’t have all the answers, but I was trying to do the right thing, damn it. Leaving Finn was not an option, at least not until he’d woken up.
Red dragged the armchair around the table in front of me and sat down.
“Victoria, look at me,” he said, and I obeyed. “What do you want?”
What did I want? I wanted all of this to go away, didn’t I? I just wanted everything to go back to the way it was before.
When I failed to answer, Red put his hand on my chest. “What do you want, Victoria? What do you have in here? What do you need?”
His questions caught me off guard. How long had it been since I’d asked myself those questions? That one question:
What do I want?
Looking at Red’s eyes now, I heard myself speaking before I realized it. He had a way of luring the words right out of me, the bastard.
“I want to be free,” I said, my heart slamming against my chest, as if I was revealing some big, dark secret. “I don’t want to have to constantly look over my shoulder. I want to be unafraid, in control of my body. I want to know who I am and where I come from.” Now that I’d said the words, I realized, I really did want to know this. “And I want to stop Haworth. I want to free my sister, and I don’t care what she thinks about it. This man is a monster, and whether she realizes it or not, she’s his prisoner.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken from so deep inside me. All the simple things I’d always wanted—some of them—but never dared to admit it to myself because I knew I couldn’t have them. I couldn’t have freedom. I couldn’t have control. All I had was my wolf, and she was there, wide awake, watching, eavesdropping on our conversation when I didn’t wan
t her to. But it was the way things were.
Leaning back in his seat, Red sighed. “Then you know what to do.”
I did?
I did.
“Lie down with me,” I whispered.
I was tired. I hadn’t properly slept in three nights, and, just like before, Red’s presence made me feel safe. I hadn’t forgotten that he’d left me—or forgiven him for it—but there was time for that. For now, I just wanted to close my eyes and rest.
Red took me by the hand and took me to the king-sized bed. I toed off my shoes and lay down on top of the covers. It was already too hot in there. Taking my phone from my pocket, I wrote a text to Amara:
Our mutual friend is alive, I said, for some reason not wanting to mention Red’s name. He had yet to tell me why he thought the ECU would imprison me for just seeing me with him. He had yet to tell me a lot of things, but for now, he lay next to me on the bed and watched me.
Fuck me, Amara texted back, making me smile. She sure had a way with words. I slid the phone below the pillow, and looked at Red.
“If I fall asleep, wake me.”
Slowly, he dragged himself closer and slid his hand between mine. “Sleep. I’ll be right here,” he said, his low voice caressing my ears.
I believed him. Holding onto his hand, I let my eyes close and drifted into sleep.
I knew where I was even before I opened my eyes. Even the air smelled different there, and the atmosphere sounded unlike anything else I’d ever heard. It was usually quiet where I grew up, but nothing like this. Nothing reminded me of peace like the garden over the hill.
But today, the air had a distinct smell to it, one it didn’t have before. Sulfur. Something was burning, and though it was far away, my wolf could still smell it as if the fire was right in front of her.
Ban the white wolf was nowhere to be seen as she looked down the hills to the east, where the human houses were. The fire had started in a small forest behind the fourth and last house in her line of vision. The people had long abandoned it, and my wolf watched the house go up in flames before she turned to her own house. Ban was with her family, all of them standing on the porch, watching. It was a cloudy day, darker than I’d ever seen it before, but I still recognized the faces. The two men and the four women—and the brunette was now holding something tightly in her arms. A baby. The baby.