by Liwen Y. Ho
She nodded and stuck her hands into the pockets of her white jacket. “Got it. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that I see plenty of guys come through here, many of whom don’t care about their women half as much as yours does. Trust me, the good ones are hard to come by.”
Candy nodded with chagrin, hoping the doctor would change the subject. To help her out, she asked, “So, when will I be able to get my stitches out?”
“In one week. I’ll write a referral for your local doctor so you can get that done near your home.” Dr. Hayes paused to retrieve some medical supplies from a cabinet behind her. After placing some extra bandages and gauze into a large plastic bag, she handed it to Candy. She also gave her instructions on how to keep her wound clean.
Candy made mental notes of everything Dr. Hayes told her. One important question that she hadn’t addressed weighed on her mind. “And how long will it take to heal?”
“Fully heal? It’ll take a good couple of months. You’ll want to keep the wound moist with petroleum jelly and stay out of the sun as much as possible to minimize the possibility of scarring.”
“Scarring?” Candy gasped. She hadn’t even considered that. Her TV appearance was in ten days. What was she going to do? “How likely is it going to leave a scar?”
Dr. Hayes gave her a reassuring smile. “Not likely, but only time will tell. Just follow my instructions and take proper care of the wound. You should be fine. Now, if you don’t have any more questions, you’re free to go after the nurse brings in your release forms.”
Forcing a smile onto her face, Candy nodded. “Thank you.”
“Take care of yourself, Ms. Connelly. And remember what I said earlier, the good ones are hard to come by,” Dr. Hayes added before she left the room.
Those last words replayed in Candy’s mind, even while a nurse discharged her and as she walked out to the waiting room. She knew in her heart the doctor was right. It didn’t take a medical degree to know good men were hard to find. Sure, the Spark family was blessed to have five of them, but other than their family, she hadn’t met many men who loved the Lord and cared for others as much as they did.
And Colin was the sweetest of the Sparks. He’d seen her at her worst and still wanted her. Who did that?
As soon as she pushed open the heavy metal door, Colin stood from the wooden chair he’d been sitting in. His brown eyes lit up as he approached her, but a solemn smile replaced his usual beaming one. He reached her side and greeted her with a slight nod of his head. The front of his dark hair stood on end as if he’d been running his hands through it the whole time he’d been waiting for her. “Ready to go?”
“Yes, I’m all set.” Candy took a deep breath. Gratitude suddenly welled up in her heart for this man who had done so much for her. She spoke her next words with sincerity. “Thanks for waiting, Colin. And for bringing me here. I didn’t get to thank you with everything going on.”
“Of course.” His words came out curt, devoid of his usual enthusiasm. “Sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have lied to the receptionist about being your, uh, husband.”
As if knowing they were talking about her, the receptionist called out to Candy, “Your hubby is the sweetest man, and you two make the cutest couple. I hope you feel better soon, dear.”
Candy gulped. The guilt on Colin’s face made her swallow the truth that she really wanted to say. Instead, she said, “He sure is. Thank you, ma’am.”
Colin stood up a little straighter at her words. “Do you really think so?”
“Hm?” She met his gaze and saw hope in his eyes. Knowing she couldn’t lead him on, she said the words that would extinguish it. “I was just playing along for her sake.”
His posture slumped again. “Of course you were.”
She shrugged off the guilt eating away at her gut and reminded herself this was for the best. Colin was better off without her. The sooner she helped him realize this, the better. “So, where are Darren and Danica?”
“They’re grabbing a bite to eat in the cafeteria. Do you want to join them?”
His bland, lifeless tone cut straight to her heart. What happened to the funny, optimistic Colin she knew? She hated seeing him like this, especially on his birthday. Even if there was no future for them romantically, they were still friends. And as his friend, she would try to make this day as special for him as possible. “I’m open to whatever you want to do. You’re the birthday boy,” she added with a playful lilt, hoping to make him smile. “You decide.”
“Birthday boy—right,” he reiterated, his face falling even more if that were possible. He avoided her eyes and instead took out his phone. He swiped at the screen and began typing. When he was done, he lifted his gaze and met hers for the briefest of seconds. “I just let Darren know you’re done and we’ll be heading back. You should get some rest. It’s been a crazy morning.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s all good. I’ll come back sometime on my own. Really, it’s not a big deal.” A pained look crossed his face, etching lines across his chiseled features. “We can go.”
Candy followed him out into the parking lot, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the noonday sun. The sky was now clear, though a chill hung in the air. She got into Colin’s car, thanking him for opening the passenger door. Once he shut it, her eyes followed him in the side mirror as he rounded the back of the car to the driver’s side. Her stomach twisted when he dropped out of view, surprising her with a sense of longing at his absence.
Her longing still grew, however, even as he sat next to her on the drive home. The mood in the car was quiet, too quiet. Colin’s mood had shifted considerably from when they met that morning. He seemed caught up in his thoughts, eyes focused on the road with a blank expression on his face.
When they reached his apartment complex, Colin parked and shut off the engine. He turned slowly toward her, sadness in his eyes. “Thanks for coming. I hope you feel better soon.”
She put a hand on his arm, stopping him from opening the door. This wasn’t how she wanted to part ways. “Colin, wait.”
He gave her a questioning glance, a flicker of hope lighting up his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry your birthday didn’t go as planned.”
The spark in his eyes vanished. “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have asked you to come today when it was obvious you didn’t want to be there.”
“That’s not true. I wanted to come.”
He scoffed. “You can stop being nice to me just because it’s my birthday. I’m not stupid, Candy. I know when it’s time to cut my losses and move on. I guess I was stupid before for thinking you’d come around. I get it now. I’m not the man you want. I’m just some immature little boy you keep around for laughs and a good time. It doesn’t matter that I’ve loved you since I was eighteen—even before then, too. Or that I’m the only man who’s ever seen you cry.”
She inhaled sharply. How did he know?
Colin’s face sobered with every word, his voice husky with emotion. “You don’t care that I get you. That I see past your perfect front, through all the walls you’ve built up around your heart so you won’t get hurt. You’re one of the strongest women I know, but it’s your vulnerability that I love. I love it when you’re soft, when you let your guard down just enough so I see the real you. The one where you don’t have everything figured out. When you aren’t afraid to feel things, both the good and the bad. When you laugh like you mean it and you cry because you need to. I see you, Candy, and I love you.” He paused. “But it’s not enough, is it?”
Candy swallowed hard, too moved to speak. What was she supposed to say, to think, to feel when everything Colin said scared her more than she wanted to admit. It scared her that he knew her so well, but more so that she had let him in close enough to see her. And now he was holding her gaze, yearning to look into her heart once more. His eyes, glassy with unshed tears, pled for an answer. Unable to find any words to speak, Candy could only shake her head.
> He took it as a response to his question because his face immediately fell. He opened his door, mumbled, “I didn’t think so,” and exited the car without so much as a look back.
Chapter Fifteen
Colin
Colin watched his brother Evan shoot a scene in front of the Palace of Fine Arts building for his TV show. The San Francisco tourist attraction stood impressively against the overcast sky, with its central rotunda flanked by a dozen tall pillars on both sides. When the early afternoon sun peeked through the clouds for a brief moment, the rays lit up the water of the small lagoon in front of the building. It was a beautiful sight to see and a welcome break for Colin to come out and watch his youngest brother in action.
A little over a week had passed since his birthday, and when it turned out that Evan would be sticking around the Bay Area for a while longer, he decided to come spend a day with him. Business was still slow at the ice-cream store, especially on Valentine’s Day. That day had been disappointing to say the least, especially when he saw a line out the door at his competition across the street. Candy’s review of the organic dessert shop had come out the day before, amping up the number of customers. All seemed lost now for his own shop. Even the half full tubs of ice cream were gathering frostbite from sitting untouched. Colin had done his best to eat as much as possible to keep it from going to waste, but even all the sugar had been too much for him.
Perhaps he didn’t have such a big sweet tooth after all.
Especially since Candy had officially dumped his sorry behind. Not that there had been an official relationship to end. But she’d made it more than clear that he wasn’t the man for her. Even after he’d poured out his heart to her and shared all the reasons why he loved her. So much for Frank’s wisdom. Some things were just not meant to be. He was sure now more than ever that God had closed the door for any future with Candy. That left a future that was getting bleaker by the day. So bleak that he wanted nothing more than to escape reality. So the first thing he did was return to his old habits.
Darren had been right. He hadn’t even lasted two weeks keeping their apartment clean. Laundry and video games had taken up residence on the coffee table, the couch, and the floor—again. He’d been slacking on his work as well. He’d called in sick more times than he’d shown up for his tax prep job this week. He’d also lost interest in his appearance. A layer of scruff now covered his face, and his shaggy hair curled around his ears and neck, in desperate need of a haircut. There was no point in keeping up his appearance when the rest of his life was so out of whack.
Now, sitting on the sidelines of primetime TV’s hottest teen drama, he regretted not dressing more nicely. Jeans and a sweatshirt didn’t really fit in with the Hollywood crowd. Evan, who’d been outfitted by his wardrobe designers and gone through hair and makeup, looked like a cover model. How was it that his younger brother by four years had his life together so much more than he did? Where had he gone wrong? Why had the good Lord blessed all his brothers with solid directions but not him?
“Cut!” The director, an older man with bright red hair, motioned for Evan and the other actors to prepare for the next take.
Evan ran over to Colin, his cheeks flushed red. “Hey, what did you think, bro? Did you like the fight scene?”
He nodded enthusiastically. It was great to see his brother doing something he loved. “It was cool. Good thing the other guy didn’t mess up your pretty face for real.” He reached out to give Evan a playful pat on the cheek. Wearing a leather jacket, dark jeans, and a black beanie, Evan really did look trendy and put together, except for the shiner on his right eye. “Ouch, they did a good job with that bruise. It almost looks real.”
“Yeah, makeup’s amazing.” Evan lowered his voice. “You wouldn’t believe how much they cake on the girls. Most of them don’t look like themselves when they take it all off. Except for Emma. She doesn’t need much at all.”
Colin smiled to see the look in Evan’s eyes. Yep, his brother was in love all right. The kind where his girl could do no wrong. Rose-colored glasses were no match compared to the lenses of love. “You’ve got it bad, bro. I can tell.”
“For Emma? Yeah,” he admitted with a shy smile. “She’s amazing. Gorgeous and totally grounded and on fire for God. I just hope I’m good enough for her.”
“Hey, of course you are. We Spark men are amazing,” he insisted, speaking the words out of habit more than conviction. “Every one of us was created—”
“By the good Lord Himself,” Evan finished with a chuckle. “I know. That’s the best line ever. If only it worked as well on women as it does on your ego.” He punched Colin’s arm playfully and motioned with his head for him to get up. “Come on, I need to get to makeup and have my bruise redone. It’s supposed to be a different color for the next scene we’re shooting.”
Colin followed him to the makeup trailer where he met Billy Bob, a man with spiked hair and tattoos along his arms. Colin shook hands with him then sat in a chair beside Evan’s. He watched in awe as Billy Bob removed the layer of purple and blue paint around Evan’s eye and began applying new colors to it. Over the course of half an hour, he built up another bruise on Evan’s skin, adding shades of yellow and green to form an older injury. When he was done, both Colin and Evan stared at Evan’s image in the mirror in front of them, amazed at the result.
“That’s a masterpiece right there,” Colin exclaimed. “I’m impressed. It’s just like painting, except your canvas is living and breathing.”
“Thanks, man.” Billy Bob grinned. “I used to paint for a living, but I find doing makeup more fun. Each canvas is different, with its own unique bone structure and complexion. Makes the process more challenging.”
“I can see that.” Colin glanced at the variety of colors in the makeup palette on the counter. He’d never seen so many brushes in one place before. The whole sight was very inspiring. For a moment, he contemplated trading in his ice-cream scooper for a brush. Granted, he’d never picked up a brush of any kind in his life, but he could learn, right?
As if Evan could read his mind, he immediately piped up, “Uh-oh, I can see the wheels spinning in your head, bro. Don’t tell me you want to be a makeup artist now.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with that idea? Our man, Billy Bob, here is making a living off it. Why can’t I?”
Billy Bob smirked. “It’s doable, but it does take some work. Actually, lots of work. I didn’t start out working on celebrities like your brother. I started out practicing on myself and uploading tutorial videos online. I only got discovered a few years ago from that. I’m not saying you can’t try it out though. But it will take time to do it well enough so you can profit from it.”
Colin grimaced. Of course. What had he been thinking? Nothing was that simple, especially for him. Had he forgotten all the time and money he’d lost on his previous ventures? And anyway, he wasn’t supposed to jump into another venture again without consulting God. With a heavy sigh, he nodded. “Yeah, I know all good things take time. I should probably stick to my current thing, even though it’s not exactly going as planned.” The only thing going fairly well was his tax preparation job, and that was honestly the last thing he would want to do for a living. He’d long lost the appeal of crunching numbers. The only numbers he wanted to calculate were the ones for his shop, yet they were too dismal to think about.
Candy had been right in calling him a birthday boy. He was nowhere close to being a man. A grown man would have a stable income and a bright future in front of him. He would have the means to provide for his family. All he had to look forward to was stale ice cream and empty arms.
Maybe there had been a missing piece in his design when God made him. Because he certainly felt lost.
“Hey, I’ll pray for you, man.” Billy Bob placed a hand on Colin’s shoulder and patted it. “Have faith. God’s not done with you yet. He made you for a purpose.”
Colin raised his brows in surprise. Now that he was close enough to Billy
Bob’s face, he saw a tattoo above his right eye that said John 3:16. It was a blessing to meet another believer in Christ. “I’d appreciate that, thanks. Hey, could I get the link to your website? I’d love to check out your videos sometime. Just for fun.”
“Sure thing.” Billy Bob jotted the link down a piece of paper and handed it to Colin. “If you ever need any ideas for a costume, you’ll find some cool ideas there. And I can give you tips on where to buy the right makeup and brushes in whatever price range you want. Most of the looks can be done with drugstore products. My email’s on the site if you need to reach me.”
“Thanks, man, for the prayers, too.” Colin shook Billy Bob’s hand before he and Evan headed out of the trailer.
Evan turned to him with an amused smile. “So, you are or you aren’t going to try becoming a makeup artist?”
“Naw,” Colin replied. “I’m barely making ends meet as it is. I need to be realistic about my choices. Nothing comes easy. Everything requires hard work and commitment.”
“Yeah, totally,” Evan agreed. “Speaking of, I need to run and shoot another scene. Do you want to stick around and grab a bite to eat after?”
Colin considered his brother’s offer for a moment before he spotted a red-headed woman coming their way. Seeing Evan’s eyes light up at the sight of his girlfriend, Emma, helped make up his mind for him. “I’m gonna run. Thanks for letting me hang out here today.”
With a quick hug for Evan and a wave goodbye to Emma, Colin strode away from the TV set, feeling lower than ever. He must have loser vibes coming off him if a complete stranger offered to pray for him. Each one of his steps felt loaded with lead, weighing him down with the reality that he might never find his way in life.
Just as he was crossing the street to his car, his phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket when he reached the driver’s side door and swiped it open. A surprising message popped up on the screen.