by Liwen Y. Ho
“You barely touched your food, Colin,” Mrs. Connelly protested. “Please stay.”
“It was delicious, really. Thank you. I’ll see myself out.” Colin pushed in his chair and turned to go. His heart ached to see Candy still eating, not even bothering to look up as he left the table.
“Candy, why don’t you walk Colin out to his car? Maybe you could take a look inside and see if you left your necklace there.”
Colin spun around, his next question directed at Candy. “Do you mean your locket? You lost it?”
She kept her head down but turned her body to face his. “Yeah, that day at the beach. I doubt if it’s in your car, but could we check anyway?”
Candy’s dull tone confirmed she didn’t want to be anywhere near him, but he would never turn down a request from her. He only hoped his fragile heart could handle being near her again, knowing that she didn’t want him. With a heavy sigh, he nodded in agreement. He grabbed the stack of paperwork the Connellys had given him and led Candy out the door.
Chapter Eighteen
Candy
Slipping on her coat, Candy followed Colin down the driveway to the sidewalk. She kept her head low and used her hair to shield the right side of her face. She felt so exposed, so unprepared to see Colin tonight. She should’ve never stepped foot in her parents’ home when she saw his car parked outside.
Oh, she’d given her mom an earful for inviting Colin to dinner without telling her. No wonder she had advised her to dress up. If only she had taken time to change out of her pajamas. Instead, she looked like a disheveled crazy woman who didn’t own a hairbrush. She didn’t blame Colin for leaving early, although it was likely the tension between them, and not her appearance, that caused him to forego a home-cooked meal.
But Colin didn’t seem to be in a rush to leave anymore. He was so kind and giving to put her needs above his own comfort. Even now, he was on his hands and knees, his large frame wedged into the passenger side of his car as he searched the floor. The car’s interior light shone on his head, highlighting the hair curling at the nape of his neck, the same place Candy had wrapped her hands around not long ago. Her fingers itched to touch his hair again, to run along his broad shoulders down to his muscular arms. Even to feel his hand wrapped around hers as it had at the dinner table. That simple touch had sent tingles up her arm and left her wanting more.
Colin seemed to always leave her wanting more.
She shook her head free of those thoughts and tried to focus on the task at hand. She felt bad for standing around doing nothing, even though there wasn’t enough room in the passenger side for both of them. She craned her neck to peek inside. “Is there enough light to see?”
Colin paused his search and turned around. “Not really. How about you hold up my phone for me?” He took his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants and handed it over.
She took the phone, careful not to touch his hand in the process. Better to be safe than sorry, she reasoned with herself. After turning on the phone’s flashlight, she decided to climb into the backseat for a better position. With her knees on the seat and one hand placed on the center console, she used the other to hold the phone up at an angle. The area around Colin’s head lit up in the beam of the bright white light.
“Thanks, that helps a lot.” Colin gave her a small smile, his eyes lingering a little longer than necessary on her face.
She lowered her lashes, embarrassed to have him staring at her. It was bad enough she didn’t have any makeup on, but she also had the scar from her fall that she couldn’t hide. Not that he hadn’t seen it already, but still. Colin already saw way too much of her.
“Thank you for doing this,” she spoke up, hoping to fill the awkward silence. “I don’t mean to trouble you.”
“It’s no trouble at all.” He reached under the seat, his mouth twisted to one side as he poked around. He paused then pulled out a purple dog leash with images of white cartoon bones on it. “That’s where this went. I thought one of the dogs had eaten it.”
She scoffed softly. Colin’s lack of organization could be kind of endearing. “What else do you have down there?”
“Lost treasure, no doubt. Let’s see if your locket is one of them.” He looked her straight in the eyes as compassion registered on his face. “I know how much it means to you. If it’s not here, I’ll go back to Carmel first thing in the morning to look for it.”
“Colin, don’t be crazy. You don’t have to do that.”
He sighed, turning his face away. “I know I don’t have to; I want to.”
The brokenness in his voice tore at her heart. She reached out a hand, wanting to comfort him in some way, but quickly drew back. “Anyway, there’s no way you’d be able to find it now. It’d be like searching for a needle in a haystack. It’s next to impossible.”
He shook his head. “Nothing’s impossible with God.”
“I suppose.”
He gave her a questioning look then returned to stretching his arm under the seat. His voice grew strained as he twisted his body in different angles in the tight space. “Did I ever tell you the story about my parents when they were on their honeymoon in Hawaii?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“They were snorkeling one day, and my dad had their car and hotel keys in this waterproof case that was hanging around his neck. He was swimming around the coral reefs, looking for fish, when this big wave crashed into him, pulling him under. When he came up for air, he realized the case had gotten carried away with the wave. Their keys were gone—just like that.”
Candy cocked her head to one side as she listened to his story. “Don’t tell me, your dad found the case?”
“Yup. He prayed, and before he knew it, he saw this bright yellow thing bobbing on the water’s surface about ten feet away. He swam toward it and rescued their keys.”
“That’s amazing,” Candy exclaimed. “He must’ve had a lot of faith to pray like he did.”
“Not really. Dad said it was a shot in the dark, but it was the only shot he had, so he took it. And God heard and answered like He always does. It only takes a mustard seed of faith to pray. Speaking of …” Colin withdrew his hand and produced a handful of colorful candies. He dropped them into the cupholder with a chuckle. “A mustard seed is a lot smaller than an M&M.”
“That it is,” Candy murmured, nearly smiling. There was something almost magical about spending time with Colin. His presence gave her a sense of comfort. Even when they had held hands earlier at the dinner table, it had felt so right. The worries in her heart had disappeared, much like her hand had in his. And now, peace flooded her heart like the waves of the ocean, bubbling with hope and joy. She closed her eyes, soaking in the emotions. If only she could feel this free all the time.
“Are you trying it out?”
She opened her eyes to see him gazing at her. The tenderness on his face almost made her forget she should hide her face. “Hm?”
“Praying. With your mustard seed of faith.”
She ducked her head. “I …”
“That’s all right. God knows your heart better than anyone. He knows what you need even when you don’t have the words.”
She nodded, with the little ounce of conviction she had.
Colin shifted positions to look in the crack between the seat and the center console. He motioned with his head for her to bring the flashlight closer. “Can you shine it right over here? I think I see something.”
She stretched out her arm, holding the phone next to his head. The hope in his voice caused a surge of hope to swell in her chest, even as her mind filled with doubt. Faith as small as a tiny mustard seed. She could manage that, right? Please, Lord, if You’re willing, let the locket be here.
Before she could say amen, Colin yelped in excitement. He grabbed a pen that was sitting on the dashboard and reached into the crack with it. Slowly and carefully, he lifted out a silver chain with a round locket at the end.
“My necklace! Colin,
you found it!”
Sitting backwards in the passenger seat, he beamed as he faced her. “God found it. He heard your prayer, Candy.” He blew at the chain and carefully dusted it off. With a gentle smile, he motioned for her to come close. “Here, let me put it on for you.”
She turned off his phone and set it on the center console. She then leaned forward, holding her hair to one side as he clasped the chain around her neck. When he dropped his hands, she lifted her eyes and met his gaze. She was keenly aware of how close they were now, with only a few inches between them. His familiar masculine scent and the heat of his body permeated her senses. Biting her lower lip, she tried to hold herself as still as possible, even as her body trembled with emotion.
She’d never felt so much in her life, or maybe she’d never allowed herself to before. But in this moment, she wanted to feel, to live, to love … more. She wanted more, and she wanted it with Colin. With a mustard seed of faith, she prayed again. Lord, help me to love … and be loved.
She held her breath, staring up into Colin’s deep brown eyes. She thought she saw a look of longing there, as his gaze fell upon her mouth. Could it be that he still wanted her, even after all the times she’d pushed him away? She wondered if he would kiss her. As much as she wanted to initiate, she held back, needing him to make the first move this time. If he did, she wouldn’t pull away.
Chapter Nineteen
Colin
Emotions waged a war inside Colin’s body as he stared at Candy’s beautiful face. His fingers ached to touch her soft skin, to cup her cheeks and pull her mouth to his. If she would let him, he’d kiss her silly until they steamed up the car windows and drove out the chilly wind blowing through the open doors. He would then take her into his arms and hold her, giving her a safe place to unload her cares. To listen to her tell him why her eyes were red from crying and why she had looked so worn out when she showed up at her parents’ place tonight. He would tell her how much he loved her and wanted to be with her.
Instead, he rubbed the week-old scruff along his jawline and pulled back to create some distance between them. There was to be no more kissing. And no more talk of a future together. He and Candy were friends. That was all they could be.
“See, miracles do happen,” he remarked, keeping his tone light.
“Yes, they do.” She stared down at the locket she was clutching in the palm of her hand. She sniffled before lifting her gaze. “Thank you, Colin.”
He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw her lower lip tremble. Was Candy crying? “No problem. You should’ve called or texted me as soon as you realized your locket was missing. I could’ve found it a lot sooner for you.”
“I should have.” She cleared her throat then sat back as if she wanted to create some distance between them. “I didn’t feel right contacting you after how we left off the last time we talked.”
“Psh! It’s all good,” Colin exclaimed, maybe a little too enthusiastically. He really didn’t want her pity today. “I’m over it.”
“But—”
“I’ve been doing some thinking,” he rushed in to try to gain the upper hand in the conversation, “and as much as I hate to admit it, you’re right.”
“I’m right?” She gave him a wry smile. “I’ve never heard you say that before.”
“Yeah, well, let’s call it the second miracle for today. You were right when you said I’m not the guy for you.”
For a second, he thought he glimpsed disappointment on her face, but he told himself it was wishful thinking. And bad lighting. Now that his phone’s flashlight was off, it wasn’t nearly as bright inside the car. Which was a blessing in disguise, considering how messy the floor of the backseat was. He wished he had taken the time to throw away the candy wrappers and empty soda bottles he’d tossed back there. Well, it was better this way. It was just another reminder of why he and Candy would never work out.
A lengthy silence ensued before Candy spoke up. “Why do you say that?”
He quirked a brow. Did she really want him to rehash everything she’d said to him up to this point? How he wasn’t mature enough and he should’ve had his act together by now like his brothers or any man his age did. “Let’s just leave it at that, all right? There’s no need to go into the details again. Been there, done that. I’d just like for us to go back to where we were, you know, before things got personal. Like last summer when we hung out at the ice-cream shop and joked around. When things were casual and fun.” And before you broke my heart, he wanted to add, but he knew better than to do that. He was done having his hopes dashed to pieces. Done wanting a woman who didn’t want him and imagining a future that wasn’t his to have. Honestly, he had enough to deal with as it was with his business. His bruised ego could only take so much beating. “I could really use a friend right now. I only have a couple of weeks left to figure out the rest of my life.”
“The rest of your life? You make it sound so dramatic.”
“Not dramatic, but serious. I’m trying to be serious for once in my life,” he drawled drolly. “I thought you’d appreciate that.”
“But it’s not you.”
He winced. “Ouch. You’re not holding back, are you? I guess I deserve it.”
“That’s not what I meant. Being serious isn’t who you are. You’re fun and lighthearted and full of life. That’s the Colin I know.”
“Yeah, well, that was the old Colin. The new Colin has exactly two weeks to decide if he should try to revive his business or chuck it all and become a tax preparer full-time.” He scoffed. “And he—I mean I—should probably stop referring to myself in the third person.”
Candy smiled for the first time that evening. “I love your sense of humor.” She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed it before letting it fall away. “You’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”
“Yeah? Thanks for the vote of confidence.” The warmth her hand had left on his arm was nothing compared to the warmth of her words. Colin returned her smile, already feeling more hopeful. “It seems like a no-brainer when you place the two options side by side, but it’s not that simple. I keep trying to come up with a way that I can make Cherry on Top more successful, but as long as that dessert place is open across the street, I’ve got no chance. How do I compete with them? If I start offering all-organic options on the menu, it would raise my costs for sure. I don’t know what to do.”
“So it’s a firm no to the tax job then?”
His eyes grew wide. Did she honestly think he’d survive the rest of his life cooped up within four white walls? “I wish I was cut out for life behind a desk, but I’d rather give up sweets than be stuck in an office all day. It’s just not me.”
“I know it’s not you. I was just asking to make sure.” She took a deep breath. “Tell you what, I’d be happy to help you out. I bet between the two of us, we could easily come up with a plan to turn the shop around. What do you say?”
Colin wasn’t sure if he was hearing her correctly. He narrowed his eyes at Candy who was facing him squarely and smiling openly at him. Who was this woman, and what had she done with Candy? “Are you serious? I’d love that. There’s no one else I trust more.” He hesitated. “What would it cost me though? I don’t have the funds to pay much—”
“Colin,” she interrupted him in a stern tone. “What are you talking about? I don’t expect you to pay me. I’m doing this because—” she bit her lower lip “—I care about you. You’ve always been there for me when I needed someone to lean on. I want to repay the favor.”
“The favor?” His chest tightened at those words. Didn’t she know he never expected anything in return? He had been there for her because he wanted to be. Love had driven him—and would always drive him—to care for Candy. He wished this wasn’t the case because it would surely make life more simple if emotions weren’t involved. At least the line had been drawn clearly now and the expectations had been set. They were friends, nothing more. “Friends don’t need to repay favors. You don�
��t need to help me out of obligation.”
“Obligation? What makes you think I’m offering out of obligation?”
“You know, because you’re you, and I’m me.” He rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly not liking where the conversation was headed. “You’ve got it all together, and I’m barely hanging on by a thread. It makes sense you’d feel pity for me and want to help me out.”
“Colin Spark, do you not know me by now?” Candy’s volume went up, filling the car with her sharp tone. “I happen to value my time and would never spend it on something I didn’t think was worthwhile. That includes you and your store. So believe me when I say I am not helping you out of pity.”
Colin blinked twice, partly in shock but mostly out of happiness. The fire had returned in Candy’s eyes, and he couldn’t be happier. Joy bubbled up within him, big and expansive, until his laughter filled the entire vehicle. The look of admonishment she flashed him should’ve scared him enough to stop, but he couldn’t. It’d been so long since he’d laughed, truly laughed. It felt so good, he didn’t want to stop.
She shot up straight in her seat and cocked her head to one side. “What’s so funny?”
He tried to catch his breath enough to answer her. “I … I just love seeing this side of you. The if you mess with me, I’m going to eat you alive Candy. I’ve missed her.”
Various emotions flickered across her face, from amusement to delight. “So you’re going to start referring to me in the third person now?”
He guffawed, still trying to contain his happiness. “Please tell her majesty that I would never dream of it,” he joked as he held his hand over his right brow in a pretend salute.
She rolled her eyes. “You are something else, Colin.”