She kept her eyes glued to the ground, not wanting to see the satisfied grin she heard in his voice.
“Of course, we’d have to wait until these guys leave. But if you’re interested, we could pack a lunch and make a day of it.”
Brow lifting in a gotcha sort of manner, she looked at him. “What about my recovery?”
His hands moved to his hips as he glowered. “You’ll be riding in the passenger seat. Maybe doing a little walking. It’s not like we’ll be scaling Mount Sneffels.” He paused then. Briefly looked away. “But if you’d prefer to go back to the bed-and-breakfast—”
“I didn’t say that.” She groaned inside. Did she have to sound so eager?
I thought you wanted to keep your distance from Jude.
She did. But it had been so long since she’d been in the mountains. Especially the San Juans. And Last Dollar Road was so pretty this time of year. It was one of the last places Jude had taken her before she and her parents left Ouray.
You could drive yourself.
True. But after suffering a flat tire and a dead battery all in the same week, she wasn’t sure she wanted to risk it. Which left her with two options. Spend the afternoon with Jude or go back to Granger House Inn.
“Come on, Kayla.” He nudged her with his elbow, the way he used to all those years ago. Whenever he was trying to talk her into something. “It’ll be fun.”
That’s what she was afraid of.
Memories invaded her mind. Thoughts of happier times. When there was a man who made her feel loved, wanted and safe. When life was easy and she didn’t have a care in the world.
But that was a long time ago. Now she’d been misleading Jude, blaming her erratic behavior on stress and the wedding, instead of telling him the truth about her marriage.
Looking up at his handsome face, she knew he deserved her honesty. What she didn’t know was if she could bring herself to tell him. Not when letting him believe a lie was so much easier.
* * *
Jude had a feeling that getting Kayla out of Ouray, away from the ranch and all the hubbub of this past week, would do her a world of good. And seeing the contentment on her face as she stared out over the rolling hills blanketed with shades of orange and gold, he knew his impromptu suggestion had been a good one.
The autumn air was cool but not cold, and beyond the colorful foliage, the snow-dusted peaks of Mount Wilson glistened in the distance.
“I told you there’d be snow.” She grinned over her shoulder.
Or not, he was tempted to remind her. But he chose to let it slide. “Yeah, you called it, all right.”
“I’ve missed having the mountains so close.” Hands perched on the backs of her hips, she turned from the view to him and back again. “I think it’s funny how everybody associates Denver with mountains. Yet while you can see them, it takes a while to get there.” She swept an arm through the air. “Out here, everything is so close.”
“Yep, sometimes, all you have to do is walk out your back door.”
Her laughter was a sweet sound. “This is true. Especially if you live in Ouray proper.”
“Which you’re about to do.”
“I know.” Her head moved from side to side, her long ponytail swaying with each movement. “I still can’t believe it.” She sent him a somewhat befuddled look. “And here I thought I was just coming to Ouray for a wedding.”
“Speaking of the wedding...” He walked the few feet to his truck and lowered the tailgate. “Care to join me for some lunch? Those roast beef sandwiches are calling my name.” Moving to the side of the vehicle, he opened the back door and retrieved the box they’d loaded with chips, leftover wedding cake and, of course, sandwiches.
“How did you get lunch out of wedding?” She snagged a small bag of cheese puffs from the box and pushed herself up onto the tailgate.
He chuckled as she popped the bag open and began crunching. “Simple. We have wedding cake for dessert.”
“Dessert?” She shoved another puff into her mouth. “I’m thinking appetizer.”
Watching her now, seeing her shoulders relax, enjoying the banter... This was what he’d hoped to achieve when he invited her to join him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a beautiful place.” She licked her fingertips that now matched the orange leaves below them. “And I’ve seen a lot of places. But these colors...” Once again, she took in the brilliant aspens. “They’re so vibrant.”
“You’ll get no argument from me.” Pulling his sandwich from its plastic bag, he continued, “This is one of my favorite places to come in the fall.” He took a hearty bite, the flavors of beef and horseradish making him eager for the next mouthful.
“I can certainly see why.” Wadding her empty cheese puff bag, Kayla let go a contented sigh. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
There’s nobody I’d rather share it with.
The thought had him choking, though he covered by taking a sip of water from the one of the bottles from the box. Then he grabbed a second sandwich and handed it to Kayla. “Here. Protein before cake.”
Instantly, her eyes narrowed, her lips pressing tightly together. She glared at him, then at the sandwich before accepting it, as though she found it appalling that someone would care about her well-being and that of her child. And he would give anything to know why.
After another bite, he mustered his courage. “May I ask you something?”
Continuing to take in the view, she ate, never looking his way. “Depends what it is.”
No point backing down now. Even if she didn’t answer, at least she’d know what was on his mind.
“Why do you get so defensive whenever you think I’m trying to tell you what to do?”
Her chewing slowed, her shoulders again becoming rigid as she lowered her sandwich to her lap and swallowed. “Well, for the past two years a good part of my life has been out of my control. Now I’m trying to regain some semblance of normalcy, and you’re interfering with that goal.”
Just like that first day at the hotel, her words flew all over him. “Interfere? How could you possibly believe that? I mean, sure, it’s been a long time, but I’m not that kind of person and you know it.”
After a long stretch of silence, she straightened. “Let’s just say my perception has been skewed.”
“How?”
More silence, and he could tell she was debating whether or not to divulge whatever it was she was clinging to so tightly.
Finally, she blew out a long breath laced with resignation. “My husband died at the hands of a drunk driver.”
He wasn’t sure how that applied, but he was shocked nonetheless. “That’s rough. I don’t know why people think they can get behind the wheel—”
“He was the one who was drunk.” She looked at him now, a mixture of fear and relief etching creases into her brow. “Shane was an alcoholic. But I didn’t learn that until after we were married.” Pausing, she seemed to ponder what or how much to tell him. “He got drunk the first night of our honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas. Then spent the entire evening voicing his regret over marrying me and telling me how blessed I was to have him.”
Jude’s sandwich soured in his stomach. “What kind of guy does that?”
“One who doesn’t remember it in the morning. And on the off chance that he does, he goes out of his way to apologize and atone for whatever he did.”
His gaze searched hers. “This went on your entire marriage?”
“He had stretches where he wouldn’t drink at all. I used to pray he would stay sober because he was...different when he drank.” She looked away. “But, for him, alcohol was a convincing mistress. One I couldn’t begin to compete with.”
Jude was almost afraid to ask, but he had to know. “Did he ever hurt you?” Her silence spoke volumes, and his anger flashed. Yet he managed to k
eep his breathing even.
Just when he thought he couldn’t stand it anymore, she said, “Things got progressively worse that last year. Lily advised me to leave him—”
“But you didn’t.” He knew his reaction was probably harsher than she deserved right now, but he’d been called to domestic situations before and had very distinct opinions.
“I made a vow.” Determined eyes bored into his, as though willing him to understand.
“Is that why you’re still wearing your wedding ring?”
She glanced at the plain gold band. “Not really. I simply wanted to avoid the whole unwed and pregnant persona.” After a brief pause, she continued, “For two years I clung to the hope that Shane would change. Until one night in May.”
“What happened?”
“He came in late. Drunk, of course. And when I refused his advances...” She eyed the jagged peaks in the distance. “Things got a little rough.”
“What do you mean by rough?”
“We argued. I tried to leave.” She looked away. “And he...did whatever he had to to stop me.”
Anger propelled Jude off the tailgate. He paced as a wind kicked up, sending a chill down his spine. The thought of that slimeball treating Kayla like that disgusted Jude in a way he’d never experienced before. He wanted to let out a guttural yell or punch something. But there was no way he’d do that in front of Kayla. Not now, not ever.
“I knew then that I had to get out.” She lifted a shoulder. “So, I talked to Lily, and she offered me a place to stay. I was just waiting until I knew I could break away without him finding out, but before I was able to make that move, he was dead.”
He stopped in front of her, taking care to keep his voice even. “Did you ever tell anyone, besides Lily, about the abuse?”
She lowered head. “I was too ashamed.”
“Kayla, I—”
“Don’t say it, Jude.” Hands clasped, she picked at her fingernails. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. What happened is in the past. Now I’m getting a do-over. I only told you because—”
“I asked.” And he was grateful she trusted him enough to tell him the truth.
“I need you to understand that I’m not that carefree girl you once knew. I’ve been through a lot.” Her hand fell to her swollen belly. “I’m older and, hopefully, wiser.”
Again, curiosity prodded his brain. And since he was on a roll... “When did you find out you were pregnant?”
She looked away for a moment. “About a month after Shane passed. I thought I was just stressed, but I went to the doctor and... Well, you know the rest.”
Looking into her sad eyes, he wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her until all of those bad memories disappeared from her mind. That wasn’t going to happen, though. Even if he tried, she’d only push him away. That kind of healing could only come from God. And how he prayed God would heal her.
Despite the war raging inside of him, he managed to hold on to the appearance of control. “You say you’re no longer that carefree girl. But unlike the past, we don’t know what the future holds. Perhaps she’ll, one day, make an appearance again.” The way she had only a few moments ago, before he stirred this hornets’ nest. And he’d give anything to be there when that happened.
Chapter Ten
Kayla would kill for a supreme pizza with extra cheese.
Instead, she dropped onto her bed at Granger House Inn late Wednesday afternoon and tore open the package of peanut butter crackers she’d snagged from her snack stash in the top drawer of the dresser. Despite indulging in her favorite Mexican fast food before leaving Montrose an hour and a half ago, she was starving.
Biting into the first little sandwich, she grabbed her purse from the end of the bed and pulled out the small stack of brochures she’d received at her new obstetricians’ office. There was information on the hospital, some coupons for baby formula and diapers and...
She singled out the flyer adorned with a teddy bear.
Childbirth classes.
Her baby wasn’t even due for another three and a half months. Of course, with the holidays thrown in there...
Shoving what was left of the cracker into her mouth, she flipped the brochure over to look at upcoming class dates.
She skimmed the information until a single phrase captured her attention.
Price per couple.
Kayla was not a couple, nor was she even half of a couple. She was flying solo. Headed down this scary path to parenthood all by herself. The last thing she wanted was be the only single in a classroom full of couples.
Her doctor had told her not to worry, that all she needed was a coach. Someone she trusted to encourage her and be there for her during labor and delivery.
At a time like this, most women might turn to their mothers. But Claudette Brennan had already made it clear that, while she loved her daughter, she had no desire to witness the birth of her first, and likely only, grandchild. She was happy to wait until both mother and child were out of the delivery room.
That didn’t leave Kayla with many options. There were only two people in Ouray she trusted—Lily and Jude. And there was no way she was going to ask Jude to be her birthing coach. She’d simply have to mention it to Lily once she returned from her honeymoon.
And while her friend would, no doubt, be more than happy to take on the role, now that Lily was married, Kayla felt bad asking her to be on call at all hours in those weeks leading up to the delivery. Lily had a family of her own to take care of.
For the briefest of moments, Kayla found herself wishing Shane was still alive. At least then she wouldn’t be facing this dilemma. He would be her coach. That was, if he showed up for the classes. And was sober enough to drive her to the hospital when she went into labor.
A shiver sifted through her, and she crawled under the cozy comforter. She didn’t even want to think about what it would have been like to raise a child in the toxic environment that had been her marriage. She wanted her baby to grow up knowing he or she was loved unconditionally, in a home where they were free to be themselves, not forced to conform to the whims of someone who had a distorted view of love.
She tugged the comforter to her chin and closed her eyes. God, there have been so many changes in my life these past several months. Things I don’t really understand. But thank You for protecting my baby.
A gentle rap sounded at her door.
“Kayla?” Carly whispered on the other side.
Kayla tossed the covers off her and moved across the plush carpet in her sock feet to open the door.
Smiling, Carly said, “I was afraid you might be napping.”
Kayla clung to the glass doorknob, her mind still reeling from all the twists and turns her life had taken since May. She’d never been a fan of roller coasters, but at least she could take solace in knowing that God was at the controls. “No, just resting.”
“Good, because you have a guest.”
She darted a glance toward the steps. “Anyone I know?”
“Jude,” Carly tossed over her shoulder, already heading back downstairs.
Jude? Now?
Ducking back inside her room, Kayla checked her look in the mirror. Thanks to Carly, she now had clothes that actually fit her expanding waistline. And the black maternity leggings and pale gray tunic were a nice change from her overalls.
Not that she should care. It was only Jude, after all. The man she’d revealed her deepest, darkest secret to three days ago and hadn’t seen or heard from since.
She’d begun to think he was avoiding her. Believing her weak for remaining in an abusive relationship.
She grabbed a brush and ran it through her hair. Well, he could judge all he wanted. It was easy to do, until you found yourself someplace you never thought you’d be. Which was why, aside from Lily and now Jude, no one else knew the
truth about her marriage and Shane. Not even Shane’s parents.
Her insides twisted. She had yet to inform her in-laws of her decision to stay in Ouray. No doubt they’d try to talk her out of it. Which was precisely why she’d been putting it off. Perhaps she’d wait until she moved into Livie’s House.
After tugging on her boots, she made her way downstairs, through the Victorian-style parlor and into the dining room, where she spotted Jude just inside the kitchen, holding baby Lucas. The sight halted her steps. She paused beside the antique sideboard, blinking away tears. The tenderness in his voice as he talked to the babe and the loving look in his eyes...
She wrapped her arms around her midsection. Her child would never know the love of a father. Wouldn’t experience the kind of special bond Kayla had shared with her dad. Her insides clenched. Oh, how she missed him.
Tilting her head back, she continued to blink. Why were all these things she’d never even considered before bombarding her today? Her pregnancy was just as real now as it had been weeks ago when she was still in Denver.
Her hand fell to her belly. But back then, she hadn’t felt her baby move yet. Or seen it sucking its tiny thumb, the way it had today when the doctor did the sonogram. Now this life that had been growing inside of her for months seemed more real than ever. And yet as terrifying as it may seem, she could hardly wait to meet him or her. Meaning she could not give in to the fear all these things rattling through her brain tried to evoke. Instead, she had to trust God to give her the strength and wherewithal to be everything her child needed her to be.
With a bolstering breath, she continued into Carly’s beautiful white kitchen. “Hello, Jude.”
“There you are.” Standing at the large, marble-topped island, he smiled at Kayla before passing Lucas into Carly’s waiting arms.
“Come on, little fella.” Carly laid her son against her shoulder. “You and I have a date to fold some laundry.”
The two disappeared into the adjoining family room, where a television played as Jude’s cautious gaze moved from Kayla’s face to her feet and back again. “Everything all right?” His scrutiny had her feeling rather self-conscious.
Reunited in the Rockies Page 10