He should be fully present, but his thoughts kept drifting to Caroline.
Was she okay? He’d been surprised when she asked to take his truck but had handed over the keys. That was hours ago. The noise level rose and he glanced around. The kids looked to be done with their food, so he stood and clapped his hands in three quick beats.
The kids’ heads snapped his direction. As he glanced over the tables, his heart swelled. These were his Lost Boys, with a few Wendys sprinkled in for good measure and some calm in the chaos.
Now he just needed his Wendy to arrive. The only thing that would make the moment better was Caroline standing next to him.
The level of hyperactivity had him changing his mind. Instead of s’mores, they’d go with cups of ice cream. The fire could wait for a night when he had backup. The last thing he needed was for even one child to get hurt.
“All right, gang. It’s time to pray for your families. Then we’ll have dessert.” The ice-cream cups might still be a mistake, but the kids would expect something sweet to end the meal. They were also easy to distribute. Only two choices: vanilla or chocolate.
“What is it, Mr. Brandon?” Eli’s lisp made Brandon sound more like Bwandon. Made him want to tickle the kid until his laughter filled the lodge.
“Something everyone likes.” At least they seemed to. Ice cream usually disappeared as fast as he pulled it out of the freezer. “Now let’s spend a few minutes praying.”
The older kids at each table took the lead. Brandon felt grateful as he watched even the youngest clasp their hands in front of them. He wandered from table to table, taking a few minutes at each to ask about the kids and see what their needs were. They wouldn’t all tell him what was in their hearts and minds, but he found these weekly connections made a difference in his ability to assess which kids might need more help than they were currently getting.
He’d made it to the farthest table when he heard the front door of the lodge opening. He slowly turned toward it and felt warmth surge into his belly as he watched Miss Caroline Bragg walk in.
* * *
The tension eased from her as she walked through the door.
This was where she belonged.
Brandon’s grin grew slowly, like a sunrise one had to wait for. But when it came? Lands, it stole her breath.
Lands? She stifled a giggle at the way she’d echoed her maternal grandmother. She hadn’t thought like that since she’d spent time with the very southern woman at Christmas. Caroline waved to a couple of the kids as a swell of hellos echoed off the ceiling and walls.
“Hey, y’all. Can I join you?”
Chloe Johnson nodded until her blonde braids danced around her shoulders. “Mr. Brandon hasn’t told us what we’re having for dessert yet, but it’s always good.” She leaned closer to Caroline until she looked like she’d topple from her chair, then stage-whispered, “The macaroni was overcooked, so hopefully dessert is something he bought made.”
Caroline bit her lower lip to keep from giggling as her gaze strayed to Brandon. “I’m sure it will be good either way.”
He just shook his head. “Everyone’s a critic.” He leaned near to kiss her cheek, and she ordered her heart to keep its rhythm as she inhaled his unique blend of aftershave. “I’ll even let you help me grab it.” He tugged on one of Chloe’s braids. “You, too, kiddo. You get to carry the spoons.”
The waif of a girl grinned at him, completely uncowed in his massive presence. The girl might be nine years old, but she looked like a pixie next to Brandon. Ten minutes later the initial chaos of distributing the ice-cream cups had quieted. But the calm wouldn’t last once the sugar hit the kids’ bloodstreams. Brandon was as bad as a grandparent who sugared up their grandkids before returning them to their parents. The house parents would have to get some serious activity going if they wanted sleep tonight.
Brandon took her hand, his still damp from washing off ice cream. “I’m glad you’re back safe.”
“Where else would I be? I missed my best friend. And the kids.” Being here with him tugging her closer made her heart want to melt faster than the ice cream. “I missed you, too, but I didn’t drive all the way to see you.” She paused dramatically.
“Wait. That’s right. You have my truck. You had to come back.”
“Really?”
He turned a slow circle, his arms wide. He winked at the kids, in his element. “Who else would bring you this far?”
She rolled her eyes dramatically, and a couple of the girls giggled. “It’s Thursday night after all. And that means . . .” She waved her arms like she was conducting an orchestra, and the kids didn’t disappoint.
“Family dinner!”
The eruption hurt her ears but was worth it.
He glanced around the lodge as if surprised to see it filled with kids. “So it is. That must be why all of them are in here.” His grin slowly faded as he studied her. “You okay?”
She nodded, her words stopped by the sudden lump in her throat. She tilted her chin toward the table. “Your ice cream is melting.”
She froze as she noticed the way he watched her lips. Everything in her stilled. Did she want him to kiss her? Oh yes, even in front of all these kids. Everything in her wanted to lean into him, initiate what her soul had imagined time after time. She let herself lean toward him.
A body barreled into her, bouncing her into Brandon’s solid chest. Ouch, the man had solid muscles. He grunted as she landed against him, his arms tightening as he steadied her.
“Luke, how many times have I told you not to run in here?” Brandon’s voice was firm with an edge of smile to it.
Caroline twisted to look at the imp who grinned up with a gap where his two front teeth should be. “Miss Carrie looked like she needed a hug. I helped.”
Imp.
The boy couldn’t be older than seven, and that grin melted her heart. Maybe someday she’d have a boy of her own with a gap-toothed grin.
The main door of the lodge opened and Jeff and Alaina walked in, Ellie strapped in a carrier across Alaina’s chest. Brandon tugged Caroline close and she let herself relax into the moment. He hovered just a moment over her lips, and she would have tugged him closer to narrow the distance if they hadn’t been surrounded by all the kids. That didn’t stop him as his lips touched hers. The world exploded in sparkles around her and she leaned closer. When the kiss ended a moment later, she took a half step back, her balance having abandoned her, and he grinned with little-boy delight.
Was it wrong that he liked the effect he had on her? Nope, not in the least. Not when she enjoyed it too.
Jeff started chuckling. “It’s about time.”
Chapter 30
Brandon swung Evan up on his shoulders. “You here to collect your cabin?” At Jeff’s nod, he grinned. “Good. I sugared them up with ice cream for you.”
Alaina rolled her eyes. “You boys are all the same. All the sugar all the time.”
“It’s what’s for dinner.”
“At least when you’re cooking.” Jeff called roll for his kids. Caroline was glad she wasn’t responsible for four boys and two girls ranging in age from about four to ten or eleven. She’d never had brothers, and other than classmates didn’t have much experience being around boys. “All right, men, follow Alaina.”
Alaina waved and then glanced at Caroline with apology in her eyes. “Guess we’re headed out posthaste.” She marched toward the door, and it was adorable to watch the boys fall in line behind her, their own version of Make Way for Ducklings.
“I feel like I should call them Jack, Lack, Mack, and Quack.”
Brandon looked at her quizzically.
“Those are the names of the ducklings in a children’s book.” She waved a hand as if to clear the thought from the air. “Silly of me.” She squared her shoulders and looked at the rest of the kids. “When do they get collected?”
“Anytime.” Brandon shook his watch. “Maybe this thing is broken.”
“Let
’s play a game until the other parents arrive.”
He scanned her up and down, and she felt the warmth of his appraisal. “In those heels? Why do you do that to yourself? Go change. You can always come back.” He waggled his eyebrows, and one of the kids laughed.
“I’m trying to add stature.” She rolled her eyes. “Why else would someone wear stilts all day? I’ll go change, then we can play something like Uno or War with whoever’s still here.” Slippers sounded really good, while tennis shoes sounded better. Her feet were weary and the comfort padding in her heels wore thinner with each passing half hour.
When she returned ten minutes later, she was more comfortable but several of the kids were spinning wildly in circles. “Think we can get them settled down?”
Brandon glanced around. “If they can sit still.”
“The house parents will appreciate your not winding them up more than the sugar already has.”
“Hey, you were an equal partner in distributing the ice cream.”
She grinned at him. “But I get to leave while you’re stuck here with them.”
Her throat caught as she tried to swallow. She didn’t really mean it, not like it sounded. There was something so wonderful and homelike about being here with these kids. They were secure in a way she hadn’t been growing up. Was it wrong to be jealous of them? Despite everything they’d lost or experienced, they’d landed here in a place of safety, rest, and love. All they had to do was embrace it.
* * *
While Caroline made an attempt, she wasn’t quite present with the kids. She’d spark to life when flirting with him, then her light would fade. While she matched wits with kids in a game of train dominoes, her gaze would settle in the distance only to jerk back to the present when someone snagged her arm or said her name.
Even though she was distracted, she was at her most beautiful interacting with the kids. She’d always been that way, and it was hard to imagine any of the women who’d pursued him having the same attitude. Caroline genuinely enjoyed his kids without pretense or fakeness.
She was a jewel.
It was almost ten when the final group of kids staggered after their guardians.
He’d need to have a word with Darren and Michelle about the late hour, but not tonight. Right now he needed to learn how Caroline really was. The tension she couldn’t quite mask made it clear something was bothering her.
He walked to the counter that separated the kitchen from the larger room. An electric kettle sat next to a Keurig with an assortment of mugs and boxes of tea next to it. “Coffee or tea?”
Caroline glanced at her phone and winced. “Better make it herbal tea. I’ll need to pretend to sleep sometime.”
“One mug coming up.” He filled the kettle and hit the button, then slid a small basket filled with tea bags toward her. “I should know your favorite is . . .”
“If we were in London, I’d say English breakfast, but tonight I’ll take mint.” She selected a bag and had the small package open when he placed a red mug in front of her. It looked tiny in his mitt but large in hers.
London? He’d have to remember that. Could come in handy for a honeymoon. He sank onto the bench across from her and waited as she dunked the tea bag in the hot water repeatedly, watching it as if her sanity depended on doing it just right. Finally he reached across the table and stilled her motions.
“What’s going on, Caroline?” As she just looked at the table, he reached across and tapped her forehead. “Where’s your head?”
Her gaze bounced up to his, her chocolate eyes startling in their intensity, before her gaze slipped back to the mug. “I can’t just come to spend time with you?”
“No. If you planned to spend the night again, you could have gone straight to the cabin.”
“You’re my boyfriend.”
“Who you haven’t spent a lot of time with the last two months.” She started to sputter, but he put a finger against her lips, then lost his train of thought. He cleared his throat. “That doesn’t matter, because you’re here now. How are you doing right now?”
She blinked at him, then glanced down at the mug of tea. “I’m kind of a mess.”
“Want to tell me why?” She swallowed, but he reached for her hand and held on. He couldn’t let her disappear physically. Not when he could feel her trying to withdraw. “We’re good together, Caroline. You love these kids as much as I do. And they love you back.” He tried to ease his grasp. What was that saying about letting something go? “I want to understand how this week is impacting you.”
She tightened her hold on his hand as if it were a lifeline. “What if I’d ridden with Justin instead of driving separately?”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. I keep thinking about that and my mind freezes. I could be dead or in the hospital. One more casualty.” Her eyes filled with tears. “All night I kept thinking that I was one decision from not being here tonight. With you. With these precious kids.”
“It affects perspective.”
“So much. I try not to live in fear, but it’s a real struggle some nights. You should probably know I can’t sleep in the dark.”
“Because I’m not there.”
She chuckled, but it was a strangled sound as she pulled her hand free. “Maybe, but last night every time I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I saw Justin’s body.”
“That’s understandable.”
* * *
Caroline rubbed her forehead to press back the tension. “But I don’t like it. What if it’s my fault that he died?”
“That seems like a leap.”
“Not when I know he died within twenty-four hours of me asking him for help with something at work.” She bit her lower lip, then looked down at her hands. “I never should have done that.”
“Isn’t that part of having colleagues? Relying on them to help with projects?”
“Yes. But he’s the second person at Praecursoria to die since I started.”
His eyes widened at her words. “You think they’re connected?”
“You’re right. I’m being crazy.”
“That’s not what I said.” Brandon studied her with an inscrutable look. “We can talk it through. Maybe you’re onto something.”
And put him at risk? Not a chance. “Let’s chalk it up to a rough day.” She hoped he’d go with that, because she didn’t want to edge closer to telling him anything that could get him in trouble.
“Don’t back away now.” Brandon reached for her hand again, and she let him take it. “Forget I’m an investor and let’s talk this through.”
“I can’t. It’s complicated.” She forced herself to meet and hold his gaze. “How much did you sink into the company?”
“Enough to fully fund Almost Home if the company’s portfolio takes off like Reid anticipates.”
“But you know it’s risky, right?”
He shrugged. “Life’s risky. It was a calculated risk, and I leave the details to Reid.”
“How much do you need the money?”
“It’s a chunk of what I have left.”
She stared at him as her heart sank. “A big chunk?”
“Is there an echo?” He rubbed the back of his neck and then leaned back until his chair teetered on two legs. “Reid made sure when I got out of the pros that my portfolio was diversified, but at this point little is liquid.”
What if she got it wrong and he lost his savings?
“I’ll be okay. Really.” It was scary how he seemed to read her mind. “You do what you need to.” Then he leaned back into the table as the chair clomped onto all four legs. “What’s going on? Really?”
How could she explain in a way that protected the company but expressed what had her mind and soul churning? “Have you ever had a moment where right versus wrong lost its black-and-white contrast?”
“Everybody does or they aren’t really living.”
“In law school the professional-responsibility professors made it simple. All we had to
do was put our clients first. As long as they weren’t doing anything too illegal, they could proceed and we could advise.” She nibbled at the edge of her thumb before his hand slipped across the table and eased her hand down. “Sorry, I only do that when I’m nervous.”
“I know. I’m not letting you push me away, Caroline.” He gestured toward the stairs that led to his apartment. “I could go up there anytime and be alone, but I choose to be here. With you. You need me right now, and you’d do the same for me.”
“I don’t need you.” Caroline let the words slam between them.
“This is what couples do. Depend on each other.”
Caroline wanted to fight back. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
“I want more than your physical presence.” He shoved to his feet and took a step back. “I want to know what’s going on in your head.” He pointed to his stubborn noggin, then to his heart. “And here. The woman I fell in love with is brilliant and kind. She sees other people more deeply than many. She sees me.” He exhaled, his hands hanging at his sides.
And she saw him.
She really did.
She saw the young man who’d been overlooked and forgotten by the system. The one who’d been left to fend for himself when the hardest thing he should have been deciding was whether to take Calculus 1 or AP Econ. Instead, he’d had to figure out where to sleep and how to survive.
It was the source of his strength and superpower protectiveness. But it was also his kryptonite.
It was too easy for him to believe he was invisible and unimportant. Her heart broke at the realization she’d let him believe that’s what was happening.
She stood, mirroring his posture and hating the table that stood between them. All she wanted to do was pull him toward her and let him know in any way that would reach his heart that she did see him. All of him. Instead, she was left with words.
Lethal Intent Page 22