Breathe

by Kristen Ashley

  Chace nodded this time. “You want a ride?”

  I shook my head. “No, a walk will do me good.”

  His hand gave me a squeeze and then he asked a question I really, really liked.

  “We doin’ your place or my place tonight?”

  He wanted to see me again and soon.

  Yippee!

  After celebrating inside, I contemplated his question. His house was better than mine. So was his kitchen. But my house had my clothes in it. I wasn’t one of those people who knew what they were going to wear throughout the week. Not even the next day. I usually stood in front of my wardrobe for ten minutes making my selection the morning of.

  Though, I was assuming his question of my place or his meant not only where we’d be meeting and eating but also sleeping.

  Maybe I was wrong.

  But I hoped I wasn’t.

  Belatedly and hesitantly, I answered, “Mine.”

  “Good,” he muttered dipping his head to touch his mouth to mine then moving back a scant inch. “There’s a piece of furniture in your house that’s on display I been lookin’ forward to tryin’ out.”

  He was spending the night.

  Yippee!

  I moved into him, his hand slid to the back of the neck and he gave me a kiss that wasn’t a touch on the lips.

  When he moved away again, he didn’t let me go but he did say, “I’ll run after work. I’ll be at your place around six thirty.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you there.”

  “Right,” he murmured, moved in for the lip touch again then moved back and gave my neck another squeeze. “Later, baby.”

  “Later, Chace.”

  He let me go and I watched him walk to his truck.

  I walked to the sidewalk as he drove off. He gave me a raised hand flicked out to the side as he drove past. I waved.

  Then I did what I told him I would do. I went home, changed, got in my car and went back to the library.

  The bags were still there.

  I didn’t like this.

  I drove around, parked on the street, waited and watched.

  At ten thirty, I was bored, I had a house to clean, groceries to buy, a gym to visit and a hot guy boyfriend to feed and entertain that night.

  So, giving one last look at the bags waiting by the return bin, my heart heavy and my nerves rattled, I drove home.

  * * * * *

  Eleven forty-eight that night

  I powered down my Nook, shifted carefully and set it on my nightstand. Then I reached to turn out the light.

  Chace was behind me in bed, sleeping.

  I liked this.

  We had a good night. Dinner and light conversation. Chace teasing, me laughing. Chace laughing when I worked at making it happen. We did the dishes. I read, my back pressed to the couch, my front pressed to Chace’s side, my Nook resting on his abs, Chace on his back, eyes on the TV so Chace could watch the game.

  The game ended, Chace muttered, “Meet you in bed,” which I took as my cue to get ready for it.

  This I did, wandering out a little nervously in a satin nightie that was a cream so creamy it was pearlescent. No lace, simple, elegant and short. I did this nervously because the minute I left the bathroom, I saw Chace’s eyes lock on me.

  I made it to the edge of the bed, started to put a knee in it but my knee didn’t hit bed. This was because Chace, lounging on his back, did an ab curl, lunged and I was on my back in bed, Chace on me.

  “My girl and her sexy nighties,” he murmured with easy to read appreciation and this was due not only to his tone but his hands roaming over the satin.

  Then he kissed me.

  Before I slipped into the haze of Chace’s kiss, I made a mental note to call Lexie and have her round up Wendy so we could go back to the mall. I hadn’t bought that many nighties or underwear.

  I needed to stock up.

  Hanky-panky commenced though Chace again didn’t make love to me.

  “Tomorrow,” he muttered against my lips and I was about to tell him I felt perfectly fine but his hand moved into my panties to cup my behind.

  That felt nice.

  Righty ho! Tomorrow it was.

  And that night, I wasn’t disappointed.

  But when we were done, I also wasn’t sleepy. As I commenced after hanky-panky talk and this went on for a while, it came clear Chace was. He didn’t tell me to shut up but I could read in his voice he was tired.

  So I told him quietly, “I’ll let you sleep, go to the couch and read.”

  “Read here,” he returned.

  “The light –”

  His arms around me gave me a squeeze. “Read here, baby. I’ll be all right.”

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  And that was what I did. He didn’t lie. He was all right. I checked about fifteen minutes after I started reading and he was asleep on his side, one hand shoved under his pillow, one arm cocked in front of him on the bed.

  I took this opportunity to study him since I’d never seen him sleep. His long, dark brown lashes resting at the tops his cheeks. His handsome face relaxed and no less handsome. His big, powerful body shut down.

  Studying him, I wasn’t surprised to note he exuded extreme hotness even when he was unconscious.

  Pure male beauty.

  After I set the Nook on the nightstand, I turned out the light and settled in, my back to him, thinking maybe I should adjust my sleeping schedule to his. The last two nights, I fell asleep in his arms. It was nice having him here with me in my bed. But it was better cuddling with him before I fell asleep.

  Bath didn’t help.

  His words the morning after I gave him my virginity filtered through my head.

  So much was happening and all of it was so huge, I didn’t think of it at the time, why he did that, guided me to the bath.

  I wanna see to you. Will you let me do that, Faye?

  He thought he would cause an ache and he did it to alleviate the pain.

  My heart settled, I smiled against my pillow just as Chace’s arm wrapped around my waist and hauled me across the bed. He didn’t tuck me to him, he tucked me under him, his body curved into mine but it also tilted into mine so it was pressed deep into me.

  He did this the night before too.

  I liked it then.

  I liked it no less now.

  “Done?” he muttered, his voice sleepy sexy.

  “Yeah,” I answered, my hand sliding down his arm to curl around his wrist at my belly.

  “Good book?” he kept muttering.

  “Yeah.”

  “Good,” he continued muttering.

  I snuggled deeper into him.

  His arm around me tightened.

  I sighed.

  I felt his arm relax and his weight settle into me.

  He was asleep.

  My eyes drifted closed and I became the same

  * * * * *

  Ten twenty-three the next night

  I gasped as Chace gathered me in his arms, rolled and I found myself still connected to him but sitting up and straddling him.

  Oh my fraking Lord.

  He’d lifted the ban on sex. We’d done a lot of really fun stuff before he finally connected with me again. And I was enjoying it, on my back, wrapped around Chace with Chace thrusting sweet and rhythmically inside me.

  I was enjoying it a lot.

  Now, I didn’t know what to do.

  Chace was up too, sitting under me in my bed. His hand moved up the satin of my nightie, up my neck to my head, he cupped it and tipped it down so his lips had my ear.

  “Move, honey,” he whispered, his arm around my waist giving a gentle pull up.

  “Move?” I breathed.

  “Ride me,” he urged, just those two words tore through me, sending shivers in their wake, “Go fast, go slow, do what you want but don’t lose the tip.”

  Ride him.

  Okay, um… I was a virgin before Chace but I’d seen television, movies, read romance novels.
I knew there were more positions than missionary.

  Chace was introducing me to a new one.

  So I pulled up.

  Not much fun.

  I slid down.

  Oo, better.

  I tried it again.

  Yeah, the down was better but to get it, you had to have the up.

  So I did it again.

  I found my rhythm and then I found I liked my rhythm a whole lot better when it was faster. I also found I liked my rhythm a heckuva lot more when I added allowing my hands to roam Chace’s skin and my mouth and tongue to roam his neck.

  Instinctively, I discovered something awesome and that was, on a downward glide, if you grinded in, pressing deep, shifting your hips around, that… felt… great.

  It didn’t only feel great to me, it felt great to Chace too.

  I knew this when he growled against the skin of my neck, his head went back and his lips ordered, “Faye. Mouth. Now.”

  I lifted my head and gave him my mouth.

  Incidentally, I did this on a downward glide and grind.

  Fraking phenomenal.

  Chace’s hand slid from my waist up my side, over my ribs to my breast. His fingers curled around then one finger and his thumb honed in on my nipple, squeezed then rolled.

  I slammed down on Chace, ground in, ripped my mouth from his, my neck arched back and I came hard on a gasp that melted into a whimper.

  While I was still doing that, Chace whipped me to my back, wrapped my legs around his hips and drove in way faster and harder than he had the other night. Way faster and harder than I rode him.

  Still coming, my body jolting, Chace thrusting, I couldn’t be sure, it had never happened before, not even close but either I started coming again or my orgasm lasted a really long time.

  It still ended before Chace’s began so, although I did it hazily, I got to watch.

  Fabulous.

  After he came down, he buried his face in my neck but unlike the first time, he didn’t stay planted. He moved in and out, slowly, four times (I counted) before he slid in to the root and stopped.

  There was something about that that was immensely sweet, gently giving something to me while at the same taking something from me which meant I also had something to give.

  I loved it.

  One of his hands glided down my nightie at the side and he murmured against my skin, “Next time I take you, baby, I want you naked. You think you’ll be ready for that?”

  What I thought was, once he started, I didn’t think much of anything. If I was lucid, I probably wouldn’t be. Since I’d not be lucid, I would.

  The other thing I thought was, it was unbelievably sweet that he asked.

  So I whispered, “Yeah.”

  “Good.”

  My arms gave him a squeeze.

  His head came up and he looked down at me, one of his hands moving to slide into the hair at the side of my head, his thumb coming out to do lazy, soft circles at my temple.

  That was unbelievable sweet too.

  “Came with just my cock,” he noted quietly and his words made me blink into his handsome, sated face.

  “What?”

  “Seein’ as I’m still inside you, I’m hopin’ you can take it real, just for now, but not a lotta women come just from takin’ a man’s cock.”

  Seeing as he was still inside me, I’d just come twice or I’d had a really hard, long one and I’d have to get used to real eventually, I gave it back.

  But hesitantly.

  “Seeing as uh… before there was your finger action at my, um… then your finger action between my… you know, and then my hand action at –”

  I shut up when he grinned and whispered, “I get it, Faye. You were primed.”

  I relaxed underneath him, grinned at him back and muttered, “Yeah.”

  “Like that,” he kept whispering.

  I was confused. My opinion was, there was a lot to like, as in, all of it.

  Which part did he like?

  “Uh…” I began, his grin turned into a smile, I started drowning in it then he did something amazing.

  He rolled us so he was on his back, I was on top of him, straddling him and we stayed connected.

  Oh wow.

  I blinked down at him while both his hands came up to either side of my head, his fingers sifted in my hair, pulling it back then holding it there at the same time managing to use the rest of his arms hold me.

  “I like it all, honey. Fuckin’ brilliant, showin’ you things, watchin’ you react, get excited, get confident, try your own thing. But what I meant was, I like it that you can find it just takin’ me.” He used my hair to pull my lips to his, his brushed mine then he gently tugged my hair to pull my head back and he finished, “A fuckuva lot.”

  “That’s good,” I whispered because it really was.

  His hands moved behind me and I would know it was to transfer my hair into one when my hair stayed back but one of his hands drifted down my spine to rest on the small of my back before he said gently, “We gotta get you to the doctor.”

  This was not a comment I expected so I felt my brow furrow and my head tip to the side.

  “Why?”

  “Birth control, darlin’.”

  “But I’m on birth control.”

  Chace blinked up at me before he stared.

  Then he asked, “What?”

  “I’m on birth –”

  I stopped speaking abruptly because I finally lost the haze and snapped back into real life.

  When I hit my twenties, my periods changed. They’d always been regular, light cramping, nothing too bad. Then they stopped lasting four days, started lasting two because they became heavy, the cramping intense and sometimes I’d get minor headaches that weren’t debilitating but they weren’t fun either.

  It was the cramping that was bad. Month after month, for the first day, it was awful. I’d have to sit in a hot tub and take large doses of ibuprofen even to make them manageable. If I didn’t start at night, I would have to miss class when I was in college or even miss work when I was working. If I did start at night, it would take so long to get the cramps to go away, my sleep was interrupted and I’d be a zombie at school or work the next day.

  When it came down to missing or zoning out during work, I eventually went to the doctor. She put me on birth control and voila! Back to regular periods, cramping and headaches gone, flow normal.

  I’d never gone off the pill and I’d never used it for the purpose it was intended because I’d never needed it. So I never thought of it that way.

  Until now.

  “You’re on the pill?”

  Chace’s voice took me back to him at the same time it reminded me this was not a story I wished to share.

  “Uh…”

  His hand at the small of my back became an arm around my waist and he said low, “Faye.”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  His brows drew together. “There a reason?”

  “Um…”

  “Faye, bein’ real, my dick is still inside you,” he reminded me. “This is not only shit we can talk about. It’s shit we have to talk about.”

  “Uh…”

  “Honey –”

  “I had really bad periods, I take the pill and it regulates them so they’re not bad anymore,” I said in a rush.

  “Right,” Chace replied matter-of-factly then concluded, “Excellent. Next time I get you naked and I get you, no condoms. All you. Fucking brilliant.”

  He let my hair go, gave me a squeeze with both his arms, lifted his head off the pillow and touched his mouth to mine.

  Then he rolled me to my back sliding out of me, bent his head, kissed my shoulder and muttered, “Be back.”

  He rolled again and angled out of the bed. I dazedly watched the muscles of his back and shoulders move as his arms swung loosely at his sides (along with watching other, um… parts of him) because he was walking to my bathroom.

  Okay, well, I guessed I didn’t nee
d to be embarrassed about discussing my period with Chace.

  Good to know.

  I rolled the way he rolled, hung over the side of the bed, reached out and nabbed my panties. I had them on and was sitting on my booty in the bed, knees to my chest, arms around my calves, back against the pillows I’d shoved against the headboard when Chace came back out.

  One could say I had no problem with his nudity. Even lucid. This could be because his body was like a walking, moving, blood-flowing in its veins work of art. Or it could be because he didn’t have any problem with it and that communicated something to me.

  Whatever.

  I didn’t.

  There was something marvelous about him climbing naked in my bed after making love to me that would make even the biggest prude not be embarrassed.

  He pulled the covers up to his waist, put his forearm in the pillow and tipped his eyes up to me.

  “I’m worried about Malachi,” I announced and his face went soft.

  “Knew this was comin’,” he muttered.

  He would since I texted him four times that day to give him status reports on the bags that Malachi had not been by to pick up. Not yesterday’s stash. Not today’s.

  I twisted my torso to him, letting go of my legs, positioning them in an “S” beside me and leaned into him.

  “Two days, Chace, and he hasn’t come to get his stash. This time, I wasn’t hanging out. This time, we were in your truck on the street,” I reminded him.

  “Maybe he made us in the truck,” he suggested.

  “Or maybe he saw me standing there Monday and he freaked out and he’s not coming back. When I left this evening, all the bags were still there.”

  “It’s gonna be okay, Faye,” he assured me quietly.

  I shook my head. “Something’s wrong.”

  “Maybe but it’s going to be okay.”

  I stared at him.

  His arm came out, hooked me around the waist and pulled me down and in the bed so we were facing each other.

  “I made a call,” he informed me.

  I got up on my forearm so we were face to face.

  “What call?”

  He studied me before he sighed and said, “Deck.”

  I felt my brows go up. “Deck?”

  “Deck’s between jobs right now so Deck’s got time on his hands. When Malachi didn’t show this mornin’, I gave Deck a call. He’s gonna find him.”