by L H Whitlock
“I’m fine. Just… Give me some time, please, Lit-ta. I’m not ready yet. I need more time to think.”
Lit-ta nodded. “I understand. I’m here when you are, and we can get you hooked up to see how everything is progressing. But listen, Nora. You won’t be able to hide it for much longer. Maybe another month at most.”
Nora nodded as the realization that she was going to have to come up with a story soon settled in. But her mind was only focused on one thing: what would Grave think when he discovered the truth.
17
Grave walked along the path as the stars began peering through the evening sky. One hand was on Shade’s neck, his buchin, a four-legged mammal/reptile with a nappy main and long, slender face that resembled a dragon. Shade’s coat was black and gleamed almost blue in the light.
Grave had found the animal when it was being attacked by a wulgor, and while he normally would pass the display by, he had found himself rushing to the buchin’s aid. After he ran off the wulgor, the buchin had nuzzled him with his long face. Its large teeth didn’t quite fit inside its mouth, and a sharp point protruded outward. The beast’s sides had been sliced open from the attack, and the two had bonded while Shade recovered.
Grave had never meant to keep him, but the animal refused to leave, even after its recovery. Now, years later, Grave often found solstice riding on Shade’s back along the perimeter, or taking him to his favorite grazing locations.
Grave knew he should be paying attention to his perimeter check. He had heard a wulgor’s roar the other night, a bit too close to the walls for his comfort, but his mind continuously drifted to Nora.
Her pale skin, and her large blue eyes. The curve of her hips and how they swayed when she walked, though she didn’t seem to realize how alluring she was.
His mind darkened, and thoughts of gripping those hips filled his mind. He would strip her down and suck and nip her tits until they bore his marking. He would hold her down and drive into her, drinking in her moans and pleas. Her small body would shudder in pleasure beneath him, and he would fist his hand in her hair, pulling her up for his lips to devour—
“Grave!”
He froze as Nora’s voice drifted toward him, and a smile pulled itself forward as her steps padded along the dirt path.
Grave turned to see her, the simple vision almost too much for him. She had braided her hair off to one side and the flower he had left for her this morning, a pink, was tucked into her hair.
Disbelief rendered him motionless for a moment. She had come for him. She wasn’t dismayed from seeing his face last night. He knew she didn’t seem to care about his face, but there had still been a part of him that thought she would flee even then.
She stopped short and glanced between Shade and him, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip. “Uh…what is that?” She pointed to Shade who huffed in response.
Grave smiled. “This is Shade. He’s a buchin. You may not recognize them; they come from Morala.”
Nora nodded, her eyes still examining Shade. “Is he friendly?”
Grave patted Shade’s long neck and smiled at his ally. Shade tossed his mane, and the dreads flew before falling to the side again.
“He is to you.”
Uncertainty passed over Nora’s face before she took a few hesitant steps forward. “Can I pet him?”
Grave smiled and walked over to Nora to help usher her to Shade. He knew the beast wasn’t the prettiest or softest thing. Maybe that’s why they liked each other.
Grave held out his hand, and Nora readily took it, he closed his hand around hers, and the difference in their sizes once again shocked him. There was no way he could have her. She wasn’t built for a man like him.
Nora walked with him, and the two stopped in front of Shade’s snout.
“Shade,” Grave said. “This is Nora. We protect her.”
Shade looked at Nora with his red slanted eyes and dipped his head, easily accepting Nora as a master. Grave guided Nora’s hand to the top of Shade’s head between his two pointed ears and fitted his hand over hers, flattening it to Shade’s hide.
Nora laughed and looked at Grave, her smile dimpling her cheek. “He’s actually soft! He’s scaly, but the scales are…hairy, almost.”
Grave nodded. “They are an ancestor of a dragon and a four-legged mammal called a hos. The scales are hairy; it’s like no other animal I have encountered.”
Nora turned her attention back to the animal and trailed her fingers down his long neck before coming to his sides and tracing over the feathery scales, her fingers following the long scars in its sides.
“What happened?”
“Those are from a wulgor. I found Shade when he was being attacked. I chased the wulgor off and nursed Shade back to health. After that, he refused to leave, so here we are.”
Nora laughed. “Why would he leave? You helped him and showed him kindness when he was hurt and scared.”
“They are solitary creatures.”
“We all are to an extent.” She grinned at Grave. “Can I ride him!”
Grave frowned. “I’m not comfortable with you riding Shade by yourself. He could easily buck you off, and I don’t use a saddle.”
“What if you rode with me? Could he handle the two of us?”
Grave chuckled. “If he can handle me, he can handle both of us.”
A boyish giddiness built in Grave’s chest that he couldn’t remember having felt before. There had always been such darkness, pain, and blood. He had never had a moment for fun, and the thought of riding Shade with Nora filled him with anticipation.
She practically jumped with excitement, her face beaming, and her eyes glowing.
“Can you help me up?” Nora asked, a shy smile flitting over her face.
Grave nodded, and Nora reached her hands up to him. “Shade, kneel.”
Shade bent, lowing himself to the ground, so the distance atop his back was not so great. Grave held out a hand to help Nora swing a leg over the buchin.
Nora dropped her arms and studied Grave for a moment before accepting his help and perching herself on Shade’s back, one leg draped on either side of him. Grave got on behind her.
“Shade, up.” Shade stood effortlessly.
Nora gasped and jostled against him, fitting her back against his chest and stomach in hopes of stabilizing herself. She placed her hands in front of her and Grave caught them in his own, guiding her to two thick dreads. He clutched them, guiding her to do the same.
“Hold here, so you don’t hurt him. These are the area’s he’s used to me using as a guide.”
Nora nodded. “How do you make him go? Do you use a whip like a buult?”
Grave stiffened before he could divert the reaction. He let out a hissed breath from between his teeth to calm himself. He found it easier to hold on to his sanity with the soft, feminine smell of Nora surrounding him. He focused on that instead of the memories of the stinging whips.
“No, I have never used a whip on Shade, nor will I ever use a whip on another being.”
Silence passed between them as Shade clomped over the packed earth, sticking to the path for an easier ride for the beginner.
“What happened?” Nora asked softly. She leaned against his chest and looked up at him.
Grave felt paralyzed by the sensation of her being pressed up against him. His blood rushed to his cock, and his heart hammered in his chest.
“It was my master’s favorite form of punishment. He especially liked the kinds with a shard of metal on the ends. I’ve had a whip tear through my skin too many times to wish it on anyone or anything. There are other ways to get what you want and other ways to direct a beast. Shade responds to my body positions and verbal commands.”
Nora’s face dropped. “I’m sorry that happened to you. It must have been so painful.”
Grave gave a curt nod. “It is incredibly painful. But Helic went through electro-therapy. That is much worse. I got off lucky.”
“Electro-therapy?
”
“Instead of using a whip, the master would shock Helic with bolts of electricity. Our master loved giving maximum power. Not only does Helic suffer permanent damage from burns and a fear of lightning, but he had to overcome a lot with electricity in general. It affected his body. He used to have brown hair; now it’s pure white. Even his eyes changed color, and I swear he has a shock to his touch. Helic decided not to let it define him, though. He’s the one who negotiates with the other communities and acts as a diplomat for our interests.”
Nora squirmed, trying to adjust herself and Grave nearly groaned as she rubbed against his already sensitive cock. He tried to move away from her, but with nowhere else to go, he was forced to inhale a deep, steadying breath as she settled against him. There was no way she didn’t feel his need for her, his rock-hard arousal, but she didn’t mention anything.
“I can’t even imagine what you guys must have been through.” Her voice held a sadness Grave wished he could take from her.
“Do you miss your family?” Grave asked. He knew he shouldn’t. It bordered on the rule of ‘don’t ask why someone asked for sanctuary,’ but he wanted to find out a little about her past, and she hadn’t offered up any hints so far.
Nora was quiet, and Grave feared he had somehow upset her or insulted her. He felt like he had such a precarious relationship with her and that if he made a single wrong move, he would drive her away.
“I do. I miss my family a lot. I–I’m afraid I will never speak with them again.”
“We can send a message to Yunnika to them if you would like. We can send it on the next trade ship.”
“I’m afraid that’s not possible.” Before Grave could press her further, Nora changed the conversation. “Is your real name Grave?”
The question took him off guard. “My real name.”
Nora looked up at him from over her shoulder again, a teasing smile wrinkling the corners of her eyes. “Yes, silly. Or is Grave the name you were given in the arena? What’s your real name?”
Grave took a deep breath. He honestly didn’t know what his name was anymore. How long ago had it been lost to him? When he had been taken from his father as a teen and experimented on? He didn’t have a name back then; he was only known as number 987. Through training, he maintained his number, only so his progress could be tracked on the charts. No, he was given the name Grave by Vulnitro after his tenth win in the arena. A name he assigned him because he sent his opponents to the ‘grave.’
Grave groaned at the memory. Vulnitro’s creativity certainly wasn’t in language. The man spent most of that quality in beatings and brutality.
“I’m sorry if I offended you. I shouldn’t have asked. It does not even matter.”
“No offense taken. It’s a name given to me so long ago I don’t remember the original. It’s better than a number, and it reminds me of what I have overcome. It’s as close a name as I will ever have.”
Nora laid her head back, resting it against his chest. He tilted his head, so his face brushed against her hair, taking in her scent. Vanilla and spice. The silky strands tickled his cheek, and his fingers itched to tangle in them and pull her against his lips.
She sighed and closed her eyes, the dimming light glowing over her cheeks, highlighting the blush that lingered there.
Grave hunched over her, wrapping her in his arms. He settled his chin over her shoulder and relished in her surprised gasp.
“Grave!”
“You want to see how fast Shade can go?”
Shade growled in response and took off in a quick gallop. The wind blew his cloak sending it flying behind him, flapping harshly in the wind.
Grave’s hood flew off, and Nora’s soft cheek nuzzled against his. Laughter bubbled from her lips, and she squealed and clung to his hands.
He leaned over her, holding her tight so there was no chance of her falling. At least that’s how she would perceive his closeness. The truth was much uglier. He needed to feel her small form pressed against him and know that he had complete control. Her laughs enchanted him, her softness and smell encapsulating him and drawing forth desire he kept under a tight lock. Already he was enjoying the feeling of her in his arms and finding it difficult to keep his mind from imagining other, more intimate scenarios.
Shade growled, instinctively feeling Grave’s internal struggle. Grave directed the buchin toward Nora’s house with a tap of his hand.
“Oh!” Nora frowned up at him, her hair whisking around her face as Shade raced down the dirt path. “Can’t we ride a bit longer?”
Grave bit back his true feelings. He was much too close to the edge to continue being so intimately close with her tonight. He needed time to push back his demons.
Shade came to a stop behind her house, hiding them from anyone passing on the main roads.
Grave threw a leg over the animal and slid to the ground before reaching up to collect Nora. She leaned away from him and gave an awkward laugh.
“I can get down by myself.” She grinned at him, her eyes shifting in an almost nervous way. Was she afraid of him? Could she sense his true desire to throw her onto the ground and take her while she screamed for him?
Grave stepped back, once again lifting his hood. She doesn’t want me to touch her. I can’t blame her after what I’ve done. I haven’t proven to be the softest of people.
Nora slid off Shade’s back and landed clumsily on the dirt, she caught herself against Shade’s side and brushed off her pants and adjusted her shirt, then smiled up at him.
“Would you like to join me for dinner?” she asked, her voice hopeful.
Grave inwardly groaned. His desire to be alone with her nearly overruled his answer. “I must begin my perimeter check.”
Nora smiled up at him, and Grave found himself returning the gesture, his chest light, yet achy with the impending departure.
Nora walked up to him and put a hand on his neck and pulled, ushering him down. Her rosy, lush lips perked, her eyelids dropped, and she raised on her tiptoes seeking a kiss.
Grave froze. His demons roared for him to claim his prize and desire unleashed itself, racing through his veins. He felt himself begin to lose control, and he almost let go, but he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk being too rough with Nora, couldn’t risk scaring her away or doing something that could not be undone. He didn’t know how to deal with her yet, but he knew he trod a fine line already and he didn’t want to lose her.
His hand caught her cheek, and he bent and brushed his lips to her forehead, closing his eyes to savor the brief moment he allowed himself.
Nora huffed in frustration and pulled away. Her blue eyes watery while they studied him. She bit her lip to try and hid the slight tremor that slipped through.
“Grave... I don’t… I’m so sorry.” Her face turned a bright red, and she dropped her eyes to look at her feet. “I shouldn’t have tried—” She groaned and covered her face with her hands.
Grave’s heart ached, knowing that her embarrassment and hurt was because of him. He caught her chin with his finger and lifted her face to meet his gaze.
“Nora,” he said as softly as he could. “There is nothing I want more than to kiss you, but I’m not in my right mind. I’m afraid if I let myself kiss you right now, I’ll throw you onto my bed and do something that you’ll regret.”
“I won’t regret—”
Grave signed. “Nora, if we want to explore…this…whatever it is between us, you must promise me one thing. One thing that can never be broken.”
“Okay,” Nora said, her tone filled with uncertainty.
“You must be cautious of me and listen when I tell you I’m in a dark place. I won’t ever jeopardize your safety, but if you insist on pushing past that boundary, I’ll have to pull away. Do you understand?”
Nora’s eyes were huge and round, and Grave could almost hear the questions in her thoughts, the reevaluation against him.
She nodded. “I won’t push you past a point you aren’t com
fortable with. But Grave, I think you underestimate yourself.”
Grave offered a sad smile. If she only knew how easily he could be triggered or how tiny she really was compared to his abilities, she wouldn’t think that.
“I must begin my walk, good night, Naleje.” He turned and jumped onto Shade’s back to lead him away. Grave could feel Nora staring after him, but he couldn’t look back, he didn’t know if he would be able to leave her if he did.
18
As the sky turned from lavender to coral and Vivid Flor began its journey toward the horizon, Nora ran out of her home to the edge of the wood in search of Grave.
Grave’s pewter gray cloak whisked around his ankles, the hood concealing his face once more. He stood facing her, his neck tilted back, his gaze settled on the transforming sky.
Her heart jumped. He’s waiting for me! He had never done so before, and Nora couldn’t help but feel the intimacy in the simple act. Normally she had to chase after him or bump into him somewhere along the path outlining the concrete walls.
As Nora stepped up next to Grave, he looked down at her with a smile peeking through his gruff features, and creasing the edges of his scars.
“We didn’t have sunsets on Haddena,” Grave said as the two witnessed the sky turn to cobalt and the brightest of stars shine through the beginnings of dusk.
“Why is that?” Nora slipped her hand inside of Grave’s. His body tensed for a moment, then he relaxed into her and wrapped his fingers around hers.
“Maybe there was, but we were never allowed above ground unless it was to fight. Even so, that was usually at night or high day. When Rikar, Helic and I landed here, it was in the dead of night during the usual torrential rain and wind.”
Nora shivered, remembering her first night. It certainly hadn’t left the best impression, and she almost regretted leaving Yunnika.
“We didn’t have anywhere else to go. We welcomed the cold and the wet because it meant we had freedom. But come sunrise, it was an entirely different place, a place worth fighting for.”