“Dominar,” the words were torn with pain and worry. “You must sleep. You can’t watch the battle all the time. Without sleep, you’ll fall.”
We were up on a rampart somewhere high and I was seated in a dragon saddle. Ah. Raolcan. I’d liked him.
What are you doing here?
I gasped. He heard me!
What are you doing in the Dominar’s mind?
I tried to think of a picture of the Ka’deem and of the test so far.
Ah. She took that test. You’d better choose correctly! I will not see my spider harmed by you.
Spider? That was a weird nickname.
I looked at what they were watching – a line of black moving across the landscape in silence. I glanced behind me at the skycity whose walls I was sitting on. Was it evacuated yet?
Obviously. The Dominar would never let her people stay in harm’s way.
But what was she doing up on this wall?
She will not rest. She will not leave.
Well, that was silly. She needed her rest. Maybe this was my decision. To save her from herself ... or not.
There was a burst of movement out at the lines of the rolling black wave. The Dominion should be attacking.
She can’t both lead an attack and rest at the same time.
I swayed in the saddle, exhaustion wavering my strength.
“You’re right,” I said aloud in her authoritative voice. “I must rest. Please, take over, Captain.”
What was his name again? Leng? He gave me a strange look at the title Captain, but he saluted heart-to-fist and seemed pleased by my decision.
Pain and light filled me, and the battlefield was gone with it.
I blinked as pain filled me – blinding, crushing pain – almost worse than the pain I’d felt in the Dominar’s body. My knees buckled, but I held onto the handle.
You pay in pain.
Did I ever.
I twisted the handle, feeling my hand shred under the spikes and another layer of the woven metal carapace opened up. There were still more layers, though.
Tears slipped from my eyes and I moaned with the agony of it. I wanted to scream. Wanted to let it all out. But I was worried about Nasataa and my friends. If they came to help me, they might suffer, too.
Bareena said to tell you that the prophecy says, ‘Only the one who gives it all, can bring the magic with the call.’
Was he saying this wasn’t giving my all? Was he crazy?
Atura cried out, biting her lip. Blood trickled from her lip and something flickered beside her. How strange. What was that?
I opened my mouth, but the light filled my mind, blinding me once again.
I was holding the barbed handle still. That wasn’t right.
I squinted at Atura, but she didn’t look right. Her face was drawn and haggard, but her lips were too full, her messy, wavy hair too blonde, her friends too ... that was me!
I almost dropped the handle in my surprise. I had to hold onto the handle. I had a feeling that the test would consider me choosing to drop her handle ‘interference’ with her test and it would disqualify me.
“I know you don’t want to listen to me, Atura, but you did ask,” I looked to the side to see the specter of Hubric standing there with crossed arms. He was looking right at me. My heart leapt. Hubric! It was so good to see him again. Why did he look so sour? Oh yeah. He was looking at Atura who had sucked out his soul. “You wanted to know how to defeat your enemies and the answer is still the same. Power comes in knowing the truth and letting the lie burn away. You want to be free? You need to let the lies burn away.”
In every other scenario, it had been up to me to make a decision for the machine to judge. Scatter or attack. Fight or rest. What decision did I need to make here? Was it just a matter of playing fair? Of not dropping the handle?
I could feel Atura’s frustration coursing through my veins. I could feel how much she hated Hubric and his words of wisdom. I could see how her eyes kept tugging at Heron curiously. Why was she curious about him? She hardly seemed to notice me at all.
“You’ll never see clearly until you forgive them.”
“Forgive who?” I asked, though it came out in Atura’s harsher tone.
“The dragons. You hate them so much. It’s not even logical. You hate them for pushing your people into this alliance. You hate them for reading your mind and guessing your thoughts. You hate them for their power and capability. You hate them because if your father hadn’t been so obsessed with them, then maybe things would have been different. Maybe he wouldn’t have had such a strong opinion about sending you on this race.”
The frustration turned to burning hate. But I couldn’t figure out what decision I needed to make for Atura. There was nothing to decide.
“Forgive,” Hubric whispered and I wondered what he’d be whispering to me if I was the one he was haunting instead of Atura. Would he be whispering ‘forgive’ to me? “I know how lonely your childhood was – how loveless. Sent away to harsh schools. Valued only for your accomplishments. Made to spy on your teachers and friends and watch them and their families marched away to be killed and thrown in mass graves. And never, never being allowed to mourn for them. I know all of it.”
Atura wanted to hit him – not that you could hit a ghost – but I wanted to hear more.
“If you can learn to forgive, you’ll be able to see the truth of it all again.”
Would he say that to me, too? Was I so blinded by my hatred of Atura and her Bubblers that I wasn’t seeing clearly? Did I need to forgive somehow? Wouldn’t that leave me vulnerable?
I didn’t realize I’d asked him that until he was already responding.
“Not for them. For you. It won’t leave you vulnerable. It will heal you.”
I didn’t think Atura would want to forgive anyone. And I knew I sure didn’t want to forgive her. But when he said it like that, well, I wanted to want it.
But that wasn’t enough, was it? Wanting to want something. Wishing you had the strength to be who you should ... those were just daydreams. I glanced to where Heron was standing behind Seleska, his huge arms crossed over his chest as if he were guarding her back. He flinched every time she did and smiled with her every smile.
I longed for our youth on the Havenwind Isles where it was possible to love others and not hold grudges. Where it was possible to live a whole life without enemies. But what choice did I have here? These people would be my enemies whether I wanted them to be or not. But couldn’t I forgive them inside, even if they were still pursuing me? Could you forgive a person who wasn’t asking for forgiveness? Could I forgive Atura?
I couldn’t say yes. I didn’t want to say yes. I shook Atura’s head no.
“Just think about it,” Hubric said. “Just don’t rule it out.”
The way he was looking at me – at Atura – looking into her eyes, it was almost as if he could tell that I was the one inside her right now.
Fine. I wouldn’t rule it out. For Hubric’s sake.
But that didn’t mean that I didn’t think it was a bad idea.
There was another flash of light and I looked up to see the last layer of the onion opening and the sphere opening with it.
On the other side of the Kah’deem, Atura looked smaller, somehow.
Her eyes snapped open, too.
Chapter Fifteen
Inside the Kah’deem, words glowed in the yellow dust hanging in the air. A downward arrow and the words.
Thus, with a key you are marked, thus with a sign sealed. The Haroc will be opened and the floodgates loosed.
Well, that was ominous.
Atura’s lips moved as she saw the words, too, and then she lunged forward to grab a tiny golden key in the bottom of the sphere. I hadn’t even noticed it there.
I let go of the bloody handle and as her fist tightened over the key, my hand tightened over hers.
We flinched in unison, our breath snatched away in this strange moment of conflict and unity. We
hated each other to the core, and yet in this moment, we both wanted the same thing, and our blood mingled together like the waters of a river flowing into the sea.
But I didn’t really believe that this key mattered. It seemed to me like it was more of a token than anything.
It matters.
I felt a flip in my belly – a painful twisting – and then my hand flipped in a strange motion I didn’t expect and I leaned forward on the ball of my right foot as my right forearm twisted around Atura’s and then pulled her forearm toward me at the same time that my weight pulled back to my left foot and the key wrenched out of her hand and into mine.
Octon. That was his move. His ability.
And it was perfect for this fight.
The entire struggle hadn’t taken more than a moment.
Atura and I were still gasping when I realized that her harsh breathing was the only sound I could hear. Fear shot through me like a bolt of lightning and I spun, my hand spattering blood across the stones. It would have to wait to be bandaged.
I saw Heron first, his face worried, his mouth open. Looked to Nasataa next, but his mouth was open, too, and not a sound came out.
Nasataa? I called. Olfijum?
There was no response. I looked back and forth between them and Heron and then even Bareena’s voices were silent.
I looked back at Atura and for a moment we were united in a shared horror, her face a mirror of mine, and then all sight was gone, and everything went black.
Chapter Sixteen
I was not unconscious. Which might have been the most horrible part of it all. I was not asleep. I was not in some other world.
I just couldn’t see, couldn’t hear – not even the voices of my dragon friends.
I could feel.
And that was almost worse. Something soft, but not furry, or fleshy, or like cloth – but something soft all the same, molded itself around me, lifting me until I was no longer standing, wrapped around me until I couldn’t move my arms or head. And it rolled and shifted under me in an unfamiliar and vaguely horrifying way.
At first, I panicked. I fought. I screamed. I cried. Eventually, I ran out of tears.
I was thirsty and hungry.
I tried to stay hopeful. I tried to tell myself all the reasons why I shouldn’t panic. But all I could think was that the Draven were the ones who stole sight and hearing and that meant that somehow, I was in their clutches. And so was Nasataa. And so was Olfijum. And so was Heron.
And that made my hope dwindle as the minutes leaked into hours or maybe even days. There was no way to tell how long it had been. My hunger and thirst were constant – suggesting that it was more likely days than hours.
I was beginning to think that things would never change, that I would be stuck in this senseless existence until my body rotted away and I was nothing but bones. I had almost given up, almost lost hope completely when something shifted and there was solid ground under my feet again.
The softness released me, and my legs ached under my weight as if they hadn’t held anything in a long time. I swayed and then crouched down, feeling the ground below me.
Rock. I was standing on rock.
Tears of relief leaked from my eyes – who would have thought that a hard surface could make me cry? I was just so grateful to feel something – anything – again.
I stayed in my crouch, my palm pressed against the rock floor. I didn’t want to break contact after so many hours of non-feeling.
It was long moments until I could see – and even then, it was barely seeing. I saw only a faint purple light – barely there at all – but as my eyes adjusted to it, I began to see outlines. There was someone else nearby – or the outline of someone else. Someone roughly my size and shape. Bareena? No, taller than that. She also crouched next to the earth, hands pressed to the ground.
Behind her, I heard a trickling sound. Sound was returning.
I gasped and her head popped up. I wished I could see her expression.
And then she leapt for me, and her shoulder plowed into my stomach before I could even react, propelling me backward, knocking my feet out from under me so that I hit the ground with an agonizing thud.
Blinding pain flashed through my shoulder but far from sparking fear in me, it filled me with gratitude. I could feel something again! I could fight someone again! I could finally take all this pent-up frustration and despair and turn it around on someone else.
I was almost jubilant as I fought back and the fire burning in my belly told me I wasn’t the only one to be excited by this fight. I threw her off of me with a throw I didn’t even think I knew and popped up into a fighting crouch.
She popped up just as fast and either the faint purple glow was growing in intensity, or my eyes were adjusting to it more, because now I could clearly see her face. Atura. Yes! If I could pummel anyone right now, I would want it to be her.
Come on, Octon! If you’re still in here, help me fight!
I spun into a roundhouse kick and though she blocked it with crossed arms, it sent her backward a few steps. I recovered and moved in a strange half-squat that felt practiced and martial. My belly burned as I turned the sliding squat into a stance that popped up in front of Atura, dodged her punch, grabbing her hand and pulling her over my hip in a very neat throw.
“A panther three throw?” Atura asked wryly – as if we were playing a game and not deadly enemies. “That’s a staple of the warrior class. It’s so simple they do it in basic training. Do you have anything better?”
“If it’s so simple, why did it work on you?” I asked but my body was already moving in an almost dance-like flow of movements that circled Atura, moving closer and closer to her.
“You’re just lucky that you stole that rock from me. Who would have guessed that you’d have the guts to swallow it? Even a powerful life force manipulator trembles at the thought of eating a soul rock!”
“You ate Hubric’s!” I said, following that up with a flurry of punches. She blocked most of them, but one got through and I heard the oof of her breath as it hit her in the belly. Fury filled me as she landed a blow of her own and pain flared in my side.
“It was my right,” she said through gritted teeth.
“I have a question for you, Atura,” I said as I danced back, breathing hard as I managed the pain in my side. “If you serve these Draven, why are you in this hellhole with me? You’d think that they would let you continue on the quest for the keys if they like you so much.”
She didn’t answer but the fury in her narrowed eyes told me I’d scored a mental blow. She launched herself at me, more angry than skilled in that moment. Octon easily stepped me to the side, kicking out at her leg. She stumbled and fell to the ground, rolling to pop back up, but she was favoring the leg, careful not to put too much weight on it.
It was really getting brighter in here. Bright enough to see her face easily. Bright enough to see that the trickling water washed over the stones like a thin wedding veil a little behind where Atura had landed.
Bright enough to see exactly where all sight cut off again – a ring of darkness and fuzziness. Draven.
“I’m surprised that they haven’t eaten us yet, but I’m sure that’s coming,” I spat. “And before that happens, I want to make you pay for what you’ve done.”
She laughed harshly. “And you’re going to do that with a few punches and kicks? You think that is equivalent for destroying and killing everyone you’ve ever cared about? I know you’re from some islands far away. Do you know that the Draven are going there, too? Remember how they poured from the ground in Ko’Torenth as the world shook apart? Remember how you saw them swallow the armies of Baojang? Don’t shake your head at me. I was there. I saw that. And I know you saw it, too. They’re going to do that to your precious islands. To your family.”
Fear shot through me, followed by a fury like nothing I’d felt yet. It was all lost. And the person to blame was right here. Convenient, wasn’t it?
I la
unched myself at her, and this time I thought it might be me and not Octon, because my dive through the air was clumsy and full of passion. I knocked her to the ground and sat on her, my hands finding her neck and throttling.
She gasped. My attack must have surprised her. Maybe she was expecting something with more finesse. Maybe she was expecting Octon’s skill rather than my pure fury.
It felt so good to squeeze her neck, to feel it vulnerable beneath my hands. After everything she’d done to me and mine, it felt so good just one time to strike back. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t save my people or the people of all these other countries. It wouldn’t change a thing and yet I’d never felt so gratified, so fulfilled in all my life.
I throttled her as hard as I could until her fighting hands began to weaken and her breath came in gasps. I’d never killed anyone with my bare hands before but was it really so bad to kill her? She’d killed so many people. She was key to the destruction of everything I loved – of everyone I loved.
“Seleska, stop!”
I gasped, looking up at the wavering, glowing specter of Hubric in front of me. Wasn’t the one dying supposed to be the one seeing hallucinations? And yet I was the one seeing him.
“Didn’t you hear me talking to her about forgiveness? I saw you there. I saw you listening.” The accusation was strong in his voice.
He was only my imagination. Did I want to die having done nothing, or did I want to die having at least brought Atura down with me?
“Can’t you find it in you to forgive?” Hubric said. “To at least forgive enough to spare her life?”
“No!” I screamed at him. “I don’t forgive people who aren’t sorry. And I don’t forgive people who are working against me.”
“There is power in forgiveness,” he said and for a moment, my hands relaxed. Should I be listening to him? But no. He was only a specter. The real Hubric would want her dead, too! “Remember the prophecy! There is life in forgiveness and in the healing of the soul there is peace. In the giving of the heart comes a gift greater than that given, a treasure granted that overshadows sacrifice.”
Dragon Tide Omnibus 2) Page 19