Distracted by my churning thoughts, I didn’t even remember the drive home, instead finding myself surprised as I stared at my apartment building from the driver’s seat of my car. This wouldn’t do. I gathered my things and went inside, heading straight for the landline phone.
“Grown-up emergency,” I declared when Mallory answered. “Think you can handle it?”
She didn’t miss a beat. “As long as there are cocktails.”
After a promise to pull the Grey Goose from the freezer—something I only did on special occasions since that shit is expensive—Mallory told me she’d be over right after work and hung up.
“Damn, girl. No more single dad divorcees for you.” This was Mallory’s first piece of advice after I’d spilled all about my weekend with Cal and my revelations from Phoebe.
“Yeah, I’ve made a note.” I rolled my eyes and slid her vodka tonic refill across the tiny kitchen island.
“Ugh. I’d say you could maybe work things out eventually with the daughter situation, but the jealous ex-wife? Yikes. That’s a combo you don’t need. We’re only twenty-three, Sofia. We’re not ready for ex-wives.” Mallory took a sip of her drink and settled her ass in one of my bar stools. “Thank God you aren’t in too deep yet.”
I wasn’t about to tell her how very deep I already was. This night was about strategy, not wallowing. “We need to come up with a good break-up plan.” The words hurt to speak, but it was the right thing to do. “Not that Cal and I are officially a thing, but you know what I mean. I need something he can’t talk me out of by being sexy and charming.”
“Right.” She tilted her head, her eyes getting squinty. “What if you just do the whole lame text break-up thing?”
I was already shaking my head. “No. First, he wouldn’t buy it. And, second, I need to talk to him about Phoebe. It’ll have to be in person.”
“Okay, well, what if you tell him you’ve thought about it and you’re not ready for the whole insta-family thing if this relationship goes further?”
I let out a breath, considering that. “I guess that could work. I mean, he already knows I have reservations about the teacher conflict.” I brought my drink to my lips but set it back down without taking a sip. I’d lost interest in anything but getting this plan going. The sooner I ended things, the sooner I could try to forget Cal. A lump set up residence in my throat at the thought. “Let’s figure out what I should say and then I’m going to practice it on you a hundred times so I won’t get off track when I do it for real.”
“I’m not sure two drinks is going to cut it.” Mallory held up her glass. “You’d best prepare your couch because I’ll be crashing there when we’re done.”
Two hours later, Mallory squeezed my arm as I switched my phone on. One missed call and two texts waited for me.
Cal: Is it just me or is the beach much better than this whole career thing?
Cal: Give me a call when you get off work. I miss your voice.
I couldn’t even check to see if he’d left a voicemail. My thumbs worked the phone before I lost my nerve.
Me: Can we meet for a drink tomorrow night, or do you have Phoebe?
Mallory had suggested I do the dreaded deed in public so Cal couldn’t work his sex magic on me. And we’d both have our own cars that way too. My speech was ready and I needed to get things over with and refocus on my job and avoiding men for a good long while.
The three little dots appeared and I waited. And waited.
“What is taking him so long?!” Mallory squirmed impatiently at my side. Finally, the message appeared.
Cal: I’m free tomorrow. Is everything okay?
Me: How about Vespers at 7:00?
I purposely avoided his question, something that did not escape his attention.
Cal: I’m calling you.
I let out a squeak and frantically typed.
Me: I have a friend over. Now’s not a good time.
The dots again, and then another message.
Cal: Okay. Tomorrow at 7:00. But I want to make sure you’re all right.
I sighed and then lied through my thumbs.
Me: I’m fine, Cal. See you tomorrow.
Mallory took my phone and turned it off again. “I think you’re ready.”
I repeated Mallory’s words in my head as two guys passed through Vespers’ door and held it open for me. My polite smile was undoubtedly a bit strained. “Remember, don’t let him interrupt you. Get it all out and then let him respond. But hold your ground. You can do this.”
My gaze hopped from table to table until it landed on a booth near the back. And there he was. My knees turned a little rubbery and my heart began to pound heavily in my chest.
I was so screwed. How was I going to get through this? Cal wore a dark blue dress shirt and his blonde hair was a mess. Clearly, I wasn't the only one having a stressful night. I knew that look on him—he'd been running his hands through his hair. Even from across the bar I could see the moment his eyes caught me. They lit, and my knees went even weaker.
My hand rose in a half wave and I nervously made my way to the booth. Cal stood and was waiting before I even got halfway there. It only occurred to me then that Mallory and I hadn’t discussed one very important detail. Cal put an arm out as I approached, and it wasn’t as if I could ignore it. He pulled me in before I could figure out what to do, and his lips landed on mine in a sweet, brief kiss that was made even sweeter by the knowledge that it would be our last. My vision blurred with unshed tears, and I tried to force them away as he pulled back.
“Hi,” was all he said, his voice husky even at the single word spoken close to my ear.
I backed up and forced a half-smile. “Hi.” Before I threw my plan out the window and sat on his lap, I slid into the seat across from him. Cal sat as well.
“I ordered you a mojito. I hope that’s okay.”
Another half-smile. “How long have you been here?”
His hand ran through his hair. “Oh, not too long.”
I grasped the mojito glass to give my hands something to do. “Thanks.”
Cal’s fingers wrapped around his beer bottle, causing my thoughts to travel to memories of those same fingers on my skin at the motel. Gah! I needed to move this along.
He took a breath, preparing to speak and I knew this was the moment. I barreled on before he could get a word out. “We need to talk.”
Dammit! That wasn’t how my speech started! Cal’s expression went from mildly tense to stone. Shit. I took a deep breath and let it out. “Cal, some things have come up in the last day or so that have made me do some serious thinking.” I tried like hell to keep my eyes on his face, but I couldn’t. They fell to the table instead. “I know we talked about how our seeing each other violates school policies. Nothing has changed there.” I forced myself to continue before he could respond.
“Also, I had a rather revealing conversation with Phoebe yesterday. I’m not sure if you realize how upset she really is about her home life. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to be a single parent, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s kids. And this little girl wasn’t pretending when she cried her eyes out telling me how much she misses her daddy.”
I chanced a peek up at Cal. He rested his elbows on the table and sunk his face in his hands, groaning. “I know. God. This sucks.”
I wanted to reach over and take his hand, but then I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to let him talk yet. My grip on my glass tightened. “Well, I have to say I’m relieved you’re aware of the situation. She needs all the attention you can give her. But that’s not all.” I braced. “Lisa has been crying over you. I don’t think Phoebe would make this up.”
Cal’s hands dropped to the table and his brow furrowed as his brown eyes came to mine again. For once, they weren’t melty at all. “Lisa.” It was just the one word. I drew in a breath to keep going before he could continue, but he put a hand up and my mouth froze, refusing to obey me. “Lisa is crying about me?” He see
med truly perplexed.
I wanted to smack the table with both hands and throw my head back. Stupid men. They have no idea the power they can wield over our hearts. “Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?”
One hand went back in his hair. “Uh, several reasons.”
We were getting off track again, so I put my own staying hand out. “Let me finish. So, you see how complicated this situation is. I think it’s best for everyone if I just step back and let you work on fixing whatever you can.” I swear, if I saw him holding hands with Lisa at any time in the future, I’d probably have to move to another city. Ugh. This was so hard.
Cal continued to look at me, his expression still tense, but now mixed with several other emotions I couldn’t quite identify. Again, he opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off with the final part of my speech. The one that would put the nail in the coffin of our not-quite relationship.
“And, besides, I’ve given it thought, and I’m just starting out life, really. I know by the time you were my age, you were ready for a family, but… I’m just not there.”
Cal narrowed his eyes at me. My heart split in my chest. I knew this would change the way he saw me—that was the whole point, after all, wasn’t it? Still, it hurt like hell.
I scurried out of my seat before I could change my mind. Cal sat staring at the spot I’d just vacated. He and Phoebe would both be better off, I reminded myself. That was supposed to be the end of my speech, but there was one more thing I’d forgotten. And it had to be said. “You’re a wonderful guy, Cal.” My voice cracked. “Good luck.”
And then I left to go cry my eyes out in private.
Chapter 9
“I’m not going to say, ‘I told you so,’ but…” Sam trailed off, requiring me to pummel him repeatedly in the arm.
“God, I have no idea why I came here with you.” My words were punctuated with more punches. They all bounced right off him.
“Yes, you do. You can’t pass up free tickets.” He did have a point. But I’d been under the impression we wouldn’t be discussing my love life at a damn college football game.
It was the Saturday following my conversation with Cal. Four days and counting. Instead of getting easier, each day just sucked more. I missed hanging out with him, talking to him, holding his hand, and doing… other stuff.
After a missed call and follow-up text where he said we needed to talk, I’d finally blocked his number. There was no way talking more would make this any easier. Emergencies notwithstanding, I’d just continue communicating with Lisa about Phoebe and avoid him until Phoebe moved on to second grade. I didn’t want to think how hard it would be seeing him at school functions, especially if he was planning on following through with being more present for his daughter. I ended up crashing at Mallory’s place after leaving Vespers for fear that Cal might try to stop by my place. But I had to return to normal life, so I’d stayed at my place the rest of the week. Cal seemed to have gotten the message because there was no sign of him. A fact that made me both relieved and terribly sad.
The truth was, I’d never had an immediate connection with anyone the way I had with Cal. My past relationships felt positively trivial in comparison, which was ridiculous given the short time I’d spent with him. And I hadn’t even gotten to find out his feelings on spiders. Nevertheless, I found myself mourning the loss of our almost-relationship more than I had all my past boyfriends combined. I was essentially a pathetic mess, as in, weeping at dog food commercials and searching my purse for any trace of memento from our time together. Not even my students could bring me out of my funk, although I was becoming pretty good at faking it. But I knew in my heart this had to end and I needed to move on.
So when Sam called to recruit me for the Martinez siblings’ day out, I’d quickly accepted, hoping that a distraction might cheer me up. And, besides, my brother Eddie would be there and it was a well-known rule in the Martinez household that you didn’t chit chat during a football game.
Apparently, half-time was another matter altogether. I swiveled my head, ignoring Sam and hoping to find my less annoying brother, but he was buying us the obligatory stadium food. Well, technically, our third round of stadium food, as we’d already sampled the nachos and soft pretzels like the good fans we were. It looked like I was stuck with Sam and his big mouth. I should have known he’d ask about Cal.
Not wanting to delve into it, I tried for flip. “I guess the only upside is that you don’t have your sidearm yet, so Cal can live to see another day.”
One of Sam’s brows rose. “I would have thought you’d want me to teach him a lesson.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “First, when has that ever been the case? And, second, I broke up with him, Sam.”
That sent Sam’s chin back, and, subsequently, my mouth gaping.
“What?! Why is that so surprising?”
He just shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess you sounded pretty sure of yourself last time we talked about it.”
Ugh. My mouth twisted and it was my turn to shrug. “It got complicated. Especially when I found out his ex still has a thing for him.” Jesus, what was taking Eddie so long?
Sam’s eyes went wide. “She does?”
“I don’t know for sure, but that’s what his daught—” I cut myself off. Talking about all the dirty details wasn’t going to help me move on. Football and forgetting were on the day’s agenda, not rehashing shit.
But Sam wasn’t paying much attention anyway. His eyes were on the field when he responded. “That’s really weird. Last I heard, she was getting remarried.”
My eyes narrowed. “Wait. You know her?” How in the hell did he know everybody? Next he’d be running for mayor.
Still distracted, probably by some cheerleaders, he responded, “Yeah. That’s how I knew Cal was divorced.” Sam finally turned to me again, a wry grin in place. “What, you think us guys sit around after the rec games talking about relationships. Please. Give us some credit.”
I waved him off. “But how do you know her?”
“She works dispatch. Ran into her at one of the games last year. She and Cal are still friendly.” He shrugged. “Sounds like she broke up with the fiancé if she’s going after Cal again.” Then, realizing his casual dismissal might hit me in a raw spot, he apologized. “Sorry, Sof.” But I couldn’t even register that part.
“No, she doesn’t.”
“Doesn’t what?” His attention went back to the field.
“Lisa’s a nurse. She doesn’t work dispatch.”
“Who the hell is Lisa? Wait.” He spared me a quick glance. “Who are we talking about now?”
I smacked his arm. “Cal’s ex-wife, you big dummy. Lisa Evans.”
Sam’s nose wrinkled. “Cal’s ex-wife is named Darcy. Darcy Carmine. And Darcy works dispatch at the District 2 station. I don’t know her that well, but I do know that much. I just ran into her a couple months ago.”
My head got light. What in the hell was he talking about?
“Well, I just emailed with her the other day about her daughter, Phoebe, who, as you know, is in my class at Sunview. And her name damn sure isn’t Darcy whoever!”
“Huh. Weird.” That was Sam’s entire response before he went back to cheerleader patrol.
“That’s all you’re going to say? Help me figure out what the hell is going on! Practice your damn police skills!”
“What did he do this time?” Eddie asked, shuffling his way in front of a couple other fans and moving toward us.
“Sof is getting confused and blaming it on me. Must be the heat.”
I growled at him. Eddie, behaving like the smart and nice brother, handed me a stadium dog. “Ketchup and relish—just how you like it.”
My hand froze mid-reach. “I don’t put ketchup on my hot dogs.”
“Yes, you do.” Eddie dropped my hot dog unceremoniously in my lap and handed Sam his.
“But, you can’t eat a hot dog with ketchup.” My voice neared panic level as I sent my brot
her a beseeching look.
Eddie leaned forward to pass a look to Sam. “You’re right. Heatstroke.” Then he unwrapped the silver paper and shoved half of his stadium dog in his mouth.
“Something is very, very wrong here.”
“Jesus. I can’t believe you just made me do that.” It was after the game and the three of us stood leaning against Sam’s car. To be accurate, Sam and Eddie leaned against the car while I alternately paced and banged my head on the drivers-side window.
Sam put his phone back in his pocket and crossed his arms. Then a huge shit-eating grin spread over his face. He shook his head. “Sofia, Sofia, Sofia. What a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself in.”
My lip curled. “You sound just like Papá.” This time I gestured for Eddie to hit Sam. His arm worked better. “So, what did she say?!”
Sam dodged Eddie’s punch. “You know, for a smart girl, you sure can be dumb sometimes.”
Chapter 10
There was no way to know if Cal would even be at the park. But, since I didn’t have his address, it was the best I could do. Sam, for all his overprotective blustering on this issue, had at least provided me with the rec league schedule, complete with times and locations of all the teams in the league. And he’d only growled at me once for not knowing the address of the guy I’d gone away with.
Balancing a carefully packed paper bag and purse I got out of my car and checked out the field. The game had already started, and I chastened myself for spending too much time on my hair and makeup. It wouldn’t matter how I looked if I missed my chance to see Cal. Although my flirty look did hit the mark if I did say so myself.
I took a deep breath. There was no prepared speech this time. No real plan at all except throwing myself out there and hoping for the best. In other words, I was ready to hurl. But I forced my feet to take me to the bleachers where I quietly found a seat.
About That...: A Small Town Romantic Comedy Page 6