I glanced at my watch and sprinted across the lawn, thankful that the She-Devil’s office overlooked the front of the building rather than the gardens. How mortifying. That was the end to my lunchtime walks round the garden. There was no way I could face the new gardener again and I suspected he’d seen more than enough of me already.
Tony and I didn’t cross paths that afternoon which was just as well because the incident preyed on my mind and I actually felt quite dirty. I should have said no. Urgh. Who was I? I’d always enjoyed sex and liked to spice things up a bit, but what we’d done was disrespectful to the residents and I should never have engaged in any of it. No more. Things were going to have to change. I wouldn’t make an issue of it tonight because I didn’t want to ruin our anniversary, but we did need to talk.
He was waiting for me outside when my shift finished and, despite having felt irritated with him all afternoon, my heart raced at the thought of the evening ahead. Deciding not to upset things by suggesting we go out to celebrate, I’d spent a small fortune on a special meal and his favourite wine purchased from a super-posh deli in town.
‘I can’t stay tonight,’ he said.
My heart sank. He didn’t stay over very often, but I’d stupidly assumed he’d make an exception for our anniversary. There was no point sulking about it so I smiled. ‘Okay. I’ll make dinner as soon as we get in, then. I’ve got steaks.’
‘Sorry, angel, but I can’t stay at all. I’ll just have to drop you off and go. Something’s cropped up.’
‘Like what?’
‘A work thing. It’s complicated. We’ll have to do steaks another night.’
‘When?’
We reached the car and he opened the door for me. ‘When what?’
‘When will we have the steaks?’
‘I don’t know. I’ll text you.’
Seething, I climbed into the passenger side and slammed the door. So much for not sulking. ‘They might not keep,’ I snarled when he got in his side.
‘Then invite your brother round for dinner,’ he snapped back. ‘I’ve said I’m sorry and I refuse to have a childish argument about it.’
So we didn’t have a childish argument. Instead, I childishly sulked all the way home and gave him a chaste peck on the cheek before exiting the car. Happy one-year anniversary.
‘I’m sorry he abandoned you on your anniversary,’ Nick said while we waited for the chips to cook.
‘So am I. Not that I’m not pleased to see you again, of course.’
Nick nodded. ‘Of course. Did you think about what you want from your relationship with Tony?
‘I did.’
‘And…?’
‘And I decided that I don’t see Tony as my future husband or the father of my children, but I like him too much to end it. Except today. I don’t like him today.’
‘Can’t say I blame you.’
I got up and checked on the chips. ‘Not all relationships need to be heading for forever, do they?’ I asked, closing the oven.
‘No, they don’t,’ Nick agreed. ‘However, both parties should still be getting something from the relationship. Are you really getting what you need from Tony? And, before you answer, I’d like to point out that my question has nothing to do with sex.’
I returned to the sofa. ‘Five more minutes then I’ll start on the steaks. So, am I getting what I need from Tony?’ I sighed. ‘We’re back to the same issue as last time. I enjoy his company and we have fun together, but it doesn’t feel right always staying in. I tried to enjoy it for what it was but I kept coming back to the same thing; it’s not a normal relationship.’
Nick leaned forward in his chair. ‘I want you to be happy, Callie, but I’m not sure Tony’s making you happy. You say you love him, yet you don’t see him as a forever relationship. You say you enjoy his company, yet you crave more from your relationship. I’ve never met him and Mum’s never met him yet you’ve been together for a year. That doesn’t seem like much of a relationship at all. It sounds more like friends with benefits.’
I slumped back on the sofa, looking at the ceiling as panic gripped me. Although Maria hadn’t used that term, she’d alluded to the same thing. ‘Oh God! You’re so right. That’s it, isn’t it? We’re friends with benefits.’
‘Which is absolutely fine… if that’s what you really, really want.’
But it wasn’t. I wanted marriage and kids. I wanted days out, walks along the beach, and date nights at pubs or restaurants.
The timer on the oven burst into my thoughts and I stood up. ‘Medium-rare?’
‘Yes please.’
Nick joined me in the kitchenette and dug out plates and cutlery while I cooked the steaks. ‘The other thing to think about, Cal, is whether friends with benefits is worth it when the friend in question keeps cancelling or changing plans or storming off in a sulk. I’m not sure I’d want to hang onto a friend who keeps doing that to me. Even if they are amazing in bed.’
I hadn’t thought of it like that before. Damn! Was it time to call it a day?
9
‘Ooh! Have you seen the new gardener?’ Maria fanned her face with her hand as she waited for the kettle to boil at morning break the following day. ‘I thought your Tony was hot but he has nothing on this guy.’
I pretended to rummage for something in my bag so she couldn’t see my bright red cheeks. ‘No. Not seen him.’
‘You seriously want to check him out. Marks out of two? I’d give him one.’
‘Maria!’
‘Well, I would. Tell you what, if anyone’s going to convert you from your old git fetish, that’s your man. I’d let him take me in the summerhouse any time.’
I looked up, startled. Did she know something? Thankfully the wistful expression on her face told me she was lost in her own little fantasy and it had been pure coincidence. ‘Or the shed. No. Maybe not the shed. Too many spiders. What about—’
‘Sorry. Desperate for the loo. I’ll see you later.’ There was no way I could stay and continue the discussion.
‘Oh, Callie! I’m glad I’ve bumped into you.’ I nearly collided with Ruby in my haste to escape to the ladies. ‘I wanted to say I’m sorry if I caused problems for your sugar daddy yesterday afternoon.’
‘It’s okay. Sorry, I’m in a bit of a rush.’ I continued along the corridor.
‘I wanted to give you the news about my grandson,’ she called after me.
‘Maybe later?’ I shouted back.
Splashing some cold water onto my face, I took a few deep breaths. I grabbed a couple of paper towels and dabbed my face dry, then leaned against the cool white tiles that covered the walls of the staff toilets. It was only when I relaxed that Ruby’s words eased their way back into my mind. She’d apologised for causing problems with Tony yesterday, but the discussion I overheard had been the week before. Was she confusing her days, or had she had another confrontation with Tony and, if there had been, was that what had caused him to change his mind about spending our anniversary together? I’d have to ask her about it later.
‘Have a wonderful weekend away with your family,’ I said, waving away a taxi for one of our residents at the front of Bay View later that afternoon.
‘I nearly didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.’
I cringed as I turned to see the new gardener picking weeds out of the raised flowerbeds. I’d avoided the gardens all day, worried about bumping into him after the summerhouse incident, but had hoped I’d be safe out the front. Clearly not. ‘You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that,’ I said, giving him a dirty look.
‘I wasn’t sneaking. I’m working out here while I wait for a delivery.’ He wiped his muddy hands down his jeans and cocked his head onto one side, grinning. ‘No fun in the summerhouse planned for today?’
I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. ‘It was a one-off.’
‘Shame. I was thinking I could supplement my income by selling tickets.’
‘That’s disgusting.’
My jaw dropped. ‘Tony’s not a resident. He’s only forty-five.’
‘Then he’s at about twice your age. And you say I’m the disgusting one.’
I shook my head. ‘I’m not having this conversation with you. I don’t know who you think you are being rude about my boyfriend like that.’
‘Boyfriend? He’s hardly that, is he? The man’s old enough to be your dad.’
My throat burned at the mention of my dad. I chewed on my lip, hoping the tears wouldn’t flow.
He’d obviously misread the expression on my face as he laughed. ‘Urgh. He’s a friend of your dad’s, isn’t he? Oh, I bet your dad’s really proud of you.’
I swallowed hard and willed my voice not to break. ‘I wouldn’t know. He died when I was six.’
He started to walk towards me, his face pale. ‘Shit! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—’
‘Riveting as this conversation is, I’ve got work to do,’ I snapped, storming back into the building, head held high, body shaking.
10
A week passed with only text messages from Tony. He apologised for not spending our anniversary together and promised we’d spend some time together the following week when he’d make it up to me. How many times had I heard that? We spoke a couple of times but it was always while he was driving and we invariably got cut off.
I never got the opportunity to catch up with Ruby to ask whether she’d had a second confrontation with Tony. She always seemed to be with Iris and I didn’t want to involve another party in my complicated love life and risk a rumour getting back to the She-Devil that I was seeing Tony. There wasn’t a rule against relationships at work but I couldn’t imagine her looking on it favourably.
On Friday morning, I walked to the pool for the early bird swimming session. I was the first one poolside and therefore had the rare privilege of being able to break the surface. I loved doing that. It was like first-footing in fresh snow. Perfect. The moment I dived into the cool water, I felt the stresses and strains of the past weeks ebb away. I glided up and down the pool on my own for five lengths, then was joined by a few regulars, mostly elderly swimmers doing a slow and steady breast-stroke.
I took a moment to rest at the shallow end after thirty-two lengths. Raising my goggles onto my head as I caught my breath, I surveyed the pool. Knitting Lady was on the balcony as always, creating something in a rank shade of mustard. She waved when she saw me looking and I politely waved back. She accompanied Mr Pink Goggles, one of the elderly breast-strokers. Tweety Pie – a man in his mid-thirties with a bald head and a tattoo of Tweety Pie on it – was chatting to one of the lifeguards. I squinted in his direction. I thought I knew all the lifeguards, but I didn’t recognise this one. The lifeguard turned and looked in my direction and my heart sank. For God’s sake! Was there no escape from him? And how many jobs did one man need? Gardener and lifeguard? That was just greedy. He raised his hand and waved but I pulled my goggles back down and set off again, every muscle tensed.
A mile complete, I looked around, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Phew! I hauled myself up the steps and made my way towards the changing rooms, but a massive cramp attack in my right leg stopped me in my tracks and I cried out in pain.
‘Are you okay?’ God knows where he’d sprung from, but he was there by my side in an instant.
‘Cramp,’ I muttered.
‘Hold onto me while you stretch it out.’
‘I don’t want to hold onto you.’
‘I’ll just leave you here in agony then, shall I?’
I had no choice. My whole leg was in searing pain. ‘Help me to the side, then.’ I reluctantly put my arm round his waist while he put his round my wet shoulders and helped me hop to the wall. I leaned against it and tried to stretch my leg out, wincing as I did.
‘Do you often get cramp?’ he asked.
I bent over and rubbed my leg. ‘Never.’
‘I’m a first-aider. If you let me massage your leg, it might get some circulation back. It would be easier if we went into the office and you laid down, though.’
I wanted the ground to swallow me up as I lay on the floor of the lifeguard’s office a few moments later with the gardener massaging my leg, front and back. A soggy swimming costume and goggle rings round the eyes weren’t the most flattering of looks. I felt like a beached whale.
‘I’m really sorry about your dad,’ he said after a while.
‘You weren’t to know.’
‘I know, but it wasn’t a nice thing to say anyway. I’m sorry. Can we start over?’
I sighed then reluctantly muttered, ‘I suppose so. You’d better start by telling me your name. I can’t call you the gardener or the lifeguard forever.’
‘It’s Mikey. Pleased to meet you.’
‘Callie,’ I said.
He stopped massaging my leg. ‘How’s that?’
‘I think I might be able to walk now. Thank you.’
‘Pleasure. Drink plenty of water today, and I’ll probably see you later.’
‘Lucky me,’ I said, sarcastically, before limping to the changing room, hoping he wasn’t staring at my arse. What a horrendous morning.
11
‘What’s that in your ear, Callie?’
‘I dread to think, Reggie.’ I smiled at another of my favourite residents, Reggie Watts, as I poured him a strong cup of tea that afternoon.
He reached out and produced a sherbet lemon from my ear. ‘Will you look at that!’
No matter how many times he did the trick, it still made me laugh. ‘I don’t know where they keep coming from.’ I took the wrapped sweet and slipped it into my tunic pocket. ‘Thanks, Reggie. Are you feeling any better today?’
‘Still not a hundred per cent, my dear, but mustn’t grumble.’ And he wouldn’t. It was one of the things I loved about Reggie. He never had a bad word to say about anyone or anything and always had a smile on his face.
‘I’m sure you’ll be right as rain for your birthday tomorrow.’
He smiled. ‘I’m sure I will. It’s not every day you turn ninety.’
’It certainly isn’t.’ I smiled as he shuffled towards the far window with his drink. He had no idea that the day out with his family was a ruse and they’d really arranged a big party at one of the pubs in Whitsborough Bay. I’d volunteered to chaperone a mini-bus of residents there and back and was really looking forward to it because his family, who frequently visited, were all as lovely as him.
‘My grandson’s taking me out for dinner tonight,’ Ruby announced, reaching for her drink.
‘Are you sure? He hasn’t appeared the last few times.’
‘That wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t able to move back to Whitsborough Bay as quickly as he’d hoped, but he’s here now. I can’t wait to introduce you two. Rhys is such a lovely young man. Good looking too. He takes after my side of the family.’
I smiled. ‘If he has your genes, I’m sure he’s absolutely gorgeous.’
‘He is and I’m so glad he’s finally here. You know, Callie, you might have already met him.’
I shook my head. ‘I don’t think so. He didn’t turn up, remember?’
‘I know, but he started working—’
A loud smash and a cry from the other end of the residents’ lounge sent my pulse racing and my heart thumped as I saw Reggie lying on the floor, convulsing.
‘Oh my God!’
Maria dived for the wall to press the panic button and I ran towards Reggie.
‘Reggie! Can you hear me?’ He was now lying still. Kneeling beside him, I grabbed his wrist and felt for a pulse. Nothing. No!
‘Can we all step back to give Callie some space?’ Maria’s calm but clear commands moved the residents away.
‘He’s not breathing,’ I said, starting CPR.
‘Defibrillator,’ Maria shouted, presumably to a colleague responding to the panic button.
>
‘Come back, Reggie,’ I whispered. ‘Don’t leave us.’
I felt sick with relief when the second charge of the defibrillator started Reggie’s heart. ‘Don’t you ever scare me like that again,’ I said, my voice shaking as I draped a fleecy blanket over him.
‘The ambulance is on its way, Reggie,’ the She-Devil said, gently placing a cushion under his head.
Reggie grasped my hand. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered. ‘Will you come with me?’
I looked up at the She-Devil and she nodded.
‘Of course I will. Now don’t you try to speak. That’s my job.’ I searched my mind for something I could talk about until the ambulance arrived. ‘Did I tell you about my day out with my brother?’
‘No.’
‘It was amazing, Reggie. We pretended we were tourists…’
I caught the She-Devil’s eye and she smiled gently and mouthed ‘thank you’ which nearly broke me.
Reggie’s heart stopped on the way to the hospital and, this time, it wouldn’t start again. I held his hand as the ambulance technician pulled a sheet over his face, tears streaming down my cheeks.
‘You did your best, Carolyn,’ the She-Devil said when I arrived back at Bay View. ‘Unfortunately, it was his time.’
I swiped at my tears again, willing myself to act professionally, but it was so hard when my heart was breaking. ‘He was such a lovely man. He should have had longer.’
‘I know. We’ll all miss him.’
I took a deep breath. ‘Does his family know?’
She nodded. ‘I called them as soon as I heard.’
‘How did they take it?’
‘They were shocked and upset, as you’d expect. They wanted me to pass on their thanks for everything you did to try and save him.’
My shoulders slumped. ‘It didn’t work, though.’
Making Wishes at Bay View Page 5