by Lara Norman
“She had some ideas about that, but I told her she should run them by you first.”
Devon snorted. “Why? She can make that decision herself. I trust her.”
“She’s worried she’ll pick someone you don't like.” Sitting back, Caleb crossed an ankle over the opposite knee. “She’s considered Chloe, Katrina, and Olivia.”
Devon drummed his fingers on his knees. “Chloe has a job. Katrina is, what, in high school or barely out? Olivia might be a good pick. I thought she worked at the Thriftway.”
“She does, but apparently it’s ‘the worst.’ Lori likes Chloe, that’s why she considered her.”
“I don’t see her giving up her job as a dispatcher to be an interim receptionist for eight weeks.”
“Probably not. According to Anna, Chloe is friends with John and his wife, Hailey’s teacher.”
Devon recalled seeing Alicia at the search where she informed him she was Mrs. Hurley. “I like Alicia. Too bad she has a job.”
They both fell silent, watching the bed and praying for any sign Hailey would wake up. It was an awful kind of vigil, at least for her father. He used to have a full, rich life which centered around his daughter, his family, and his job. He had hobbies like reading the occasional spy thriller, watching sports on TV, and running. Now he had nothing more than staring at a hospital bed.
Vince came in the room, pulling the remaining chair over to Devon’s other side and clapping him on the shoulder before he sat down. “Anything?”
“Nope.”
“I heard Lori is looking for someone to fill in for her.”
Devon squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m liking Olivia for it. Katrina is too immature for me to put up with her for long. Whoever it is will stay on and be an assistant to Lori when she comes back.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Vince paused. “I picked up another round of gifts from your house. I brought the stuffed animals here and gave them to the nurse at the desk to donate to other children.”
“That’s fine.”
Silence fell again.
“Do you need anything?” Vince asked after a few minutes.
“Dad just brought me clothes and soap and stuff, but thanks.”
“I’ll get some lunch for us, how does that sound?” He stood, hovering over Devon’s seated form.
Devon looked up at him with a wan smile. “That would be great.”
Caleb waited until Vince left the room. “I think he’s going stir crazy without any work to keep him occupied.”
“He can work. Too bad he never learned carpentry, but he can go in and do anything he wants.”
“Maybe you should tell him that,” Caleb suggested.
Devon shrugged. “When he comes back, I will.”
The brothers didn't mind not talking constantly, unlike almost everyone else who visited. They simply sat in companionable silence and watched Hailey; the rise and fall of her chest was the only visible sign she was alive. Devon tended to watch the readout on her vitals monitor as well, but mostly he watched her breathe. To him, she looked very young in her sleep, her face round and her muscles slack. Everything about her birth and the way she’d filled his life ever since was permanently etched on his brain. It was difficult to comprehend how much he missed her.
And then, as he watched, her eyelids fluttered.
“Devon—”
He was on his feet before Caleb even got his name out. He leaned over her, stroking her forehead and whispering to her. Caleb got up and pressed the button to call the nurse before joining Devon at Hailey’s side.
“Come on, Hailey. It’s time to wake up. Daddy wants to see those pretty blue eyes.”
Her eyelids fluttered again, and she coughed.
Caleb picked up her hand. “Hailey, Uncle Caleb is here, too. We really want you to wake up.”
A nurse walked in and glanced between the three of them. “Do you need something?”
“She’s waking up,” Devon said without taking his gaze from Hailey. The tears rolling down his face went unchecked.
“It’s possible she’s in REM sleep.” Despite her statement, she checked all of Hailey’s vitals and lightly shook her foot.
Hailey moaned a little and coughed again. She shifted her head on the pillow and blinked her eyes open. Though she stared up at Devon, he had the impression she wasn’t truly cognizant.
“Hailey,” he said, exhaustion and exhilaration evident in his voice.
Smiling and blinking slowly, her eyes slipped closed again. Devon’s knees went weak and he almost sank to the floor, but Caleb gripped his elbow and guided him to his chair. If he’d been intently focused on her face before, it was nothing compared to now.
Vince came in to find Devon crying and Caleb standing by Hailey’s head. “What’s going on?”
Caleb lifted his head. “She opened her eyes, but only for a few seconds.”
“Oh wow.” He set the food down on the rolling table and went to Devon’s side. “What happens now?”
The nurse spoke up. “Nothing, really. She isn’t fully awake, but I will make a note of this and inform her physician.”
Caleb murmured a thanks as she left. “I’m hungry, how about you, Devon?”
The sound he made in response was noncommittal.
“Come on, I got you a burger. You’re losing weight, dude,” Vince said, handing a bag of food to Devon.
Devon broke his intense stare at his daughter long enough to thank Vince and take the food. He did as he was expected and ate. His mouth felt perpetually dry, and most of the food he consumed tasted like cardboard. But when Vince handed him a milkshake, he realized he really wanted it.
“I think you just found the one thing I really want,” he told him.
Vince grinned at him. “If you need to live off strawberry milkshakes, I’m your man.”
Devon smiled back at him. “Thanks for being here.”
“Don't go getting emotional on me.” Still, he sat back with a look of satisfaction.
Devon closed his eyes as he sucked on the straw. “It’s just that my mouth is always dry lately, and everything I eat sticks in my throat. This is perfect.”
Caleb chuckled. “I feel like there’s a ‘that’s what she said’ somewhere in there.”
“Daddy?”
The three of them stopped talking and looked over at Hailey. Caleb wisely took the milkshake from Devon before he dropped it.
“Oh, baby girl.” He stood so he could lean over and kiss her cheek. “How do you feel?” Picking up the hand closest to him, he squeezed it lightly.
“Sleepy.” Her voice was weak and scratchy.
“I bet. You can sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.”
She nodded and closed her eyes again, her hand going limp in his.
He sank back in his chair, still holding her hand. “Call Mom and Dad.”
“On it,” Caleb said.
Vince’s voice came from directly behind him as he stared down at her too. “Holy crap, Devon. She’s going to be okay, isn’t she?”
He couldn't know for sure, but there was a feeling taking root in his gut. At first he wasn't sure what it was, but it didn’t take long to figure it out.
It was hope.
Chapter Ten
They came in droves. His parents, the elementary school teachers, friends, and even strangers. They couldn't see Hailey, but there was an influx of people Devon was unprepared to face. He felt like a fish in a tank. Tap on the glass harder, see if they’ll scatter. He appreciated the support, but he didn’t enjoy feeling so overwhelmed with so many people wanting to shake his hand or catch a glimpse of the man whose daughter went missing. They didn't get much crime in Merrimac, and Hailey’s abduction had turned the McMillan family into a sideshow. Very quickly, acting cordial simply became too much for him to bear. Hailey might wake up at any time, and he refused to be standing down the hall giving facetime to strangers when that happened. Eventually, Don was the only one w
ith the patience to greet visitors in the waiting room.
Devon mastered one thing, though; he’d compartmentalized his feelings for the sake of his daughter. Between the agony of what happened to her and the anger itching to burst out of his skin, he had to keep it under wraps to maintain his sanity. It sat there in the back of his mind, however, festering into an ugly sore. He was ready—more than ready—to unleash everything building up, but he knew he had to bide his time.
Hailey opened her eyes several times the following day. She would blink, shift around and focus on her father, and typically fall back to sleep. He knew she needed all the rest she could get in order to heal, but he wanted her to wake up and reassure him she was better. If that made him selfish, he didn't care.
It was the rare time of evening when he was alone and everything was quiet as he sat with Hailey’s hand in his. Her color had returned to her cheeks, and she looked healthier already. She stirred, and his heart jumped in his chest as he waited to see if she would open her eyes again.
“Hailey?”
He said her name quietly, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her knuckles and smiling as her eyelids fluttered.
“Excuse me, Devon?” The soft voice was as familiar to him as any by then. Chloe stood just inside the door.
“Hey.”
She gave him her gentle smile. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I want to ask if you need a break.”
He looked back at Hailey, who was motionless once more. “You know, I’ve been out of this room an awful lot today.”
Chloe came and sat in the chair next to his. “Visitors?”
“Yeah.” He said nothing else for a few minutes, and she let him be. Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking above the head of the bed filled the room for around ten minutes before he finally spoke. “Do you think I’ll ever feel like I can just go home? Like I don’t have to worry or hover?”
Chloe watched Devon’s profile as he kept his gaze on the bed. “I would guess so, eventually. You’ve been through a trauma, Devon, and it’s understandable you’d want to maintain a vigil on your daughter. She’s who’s most important to you.”
Slowly, he tore his focus from Hailey to stare at Chloe. “Most people are encouraging me to go home. Everybody except Caleb has told me she’ll be fine; I’ll be fine.”
Chloe shrugged. “I deal in facts, and the fact is you’re not ready. Maybe it’s easier to see from the outside.”
He looked back at Hailey. “That's probably it.”
They were silent for a time as they watched Hailey. For Devon, he watched the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed steadily.
“I can sit with her if you need to shower or get something to eat,” Chloe said, breaking the silence of the room.
He took a deep breath. It had been a long day, full of activity and people. He needed time alone, and there was only one way to get it in that hospital. “I think I’ll get a shower, if that’s okay?”
“Of course. I promise not to leave.”
Devon took his bag into the bathroom and locked the door. He’d been doing a decent job of holding it in, he thought. Twisting the shower knob so the water would heat, he stripped off his clothes. He was weary to the bone, dragged down to the base of his humanity. He couldn't help but think he was failing the test God put before him. When he was in the shower and the scalding water streamed over his head, he closed his eyes against everything crushing him and wept. Covering his face with his hands and falling against the tiled wall, his shoulders shook and knees trembled. The grief was suffocating him, and he couldn't get his breath to cooperate. He needed the one person he couldn't have. He needed his daughter’s mother, his wife, his life companion, meant to always be there to help him through the hard times. More intensely than he could previously recall, he missed Kathy with a desperation which brought him to his knees. He sank to the bottom, drowning in his sorrow until there was nothing left of him but the empty husk to which he was growing accustomed.
As Devon emerged from the steamy bathroom, he heard Chloe sing to Hailey. Her head was down as she focused her attention on the girl in the bed. He suddenly wondered if she heard him breaking down on the other side of the wall, but he didn't ask. It seemed she wiped her face quickly at the same time she finished the song; he situated himself back in his chair while she stood.
“Are you set for the night?” she asked in a thick voice.
“I am, thanks.” He didn't look at her, and she fled the room without another word.
As the door closed, Hailey’s eyes opened. “Daddy?”
Her voice was little more than a whisper. Devon smiled down at her. “Hailey.”
“I’m thirsty.”
Devon stood up and pushed the call button as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Okay, baby. How do you feel other than that?”
She yawned. “Done with sleeping.”
He laughed in relief. “That would be great, bug.”
The nurse came in and saw Hailey was awake. Helping Hailey sit up, she raised the head of the bed. After Devon made sure he could give her a drink, he held the cup with the straw to her lips and she drank it all.
“More water, please,” she rasped.
“Oh, sweet girl.” Devon wiped away his tears as he leaned over, pulling her head to his chest. “I love you.”
“I know that.” His shirt muffled her words.
“Are you really feeling okay?” He pulled away and sat in his favorite spot while the nurse looked over the machines and the readouts.
“Yes, Daddy. Why am I in the hospital?” Scrunching her nose, she looked around the room.
“You don’t remember?”
“Not really.”
Devon sagged against the back of the chair, squeezing her hand in his. He was relieved she wasn't burdened with those thoughts.
“The memories might or might not come back to her. The bump to her head was significant, but time will tell.”
Devon thanked the nurse and watched her leave the room. “Do you want me to call everyone, bug, or are you sleepy again?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay. Don’t worry about it.”
“What happened, Daddy?”
Devon sighed quietly. He knew he couldn't avoid talking to her about what happened, but he was so reluctant to relive it, or to have her relive it. “You wandered off, I guess. We found you asleep after you fell down.”
Hailey frowned. “I fell down?”
“It seems like it.”
“That’s how I bumped my head?” Gingerly, she touched the bandage on her temple.
Devon swallowed hard and nodded. It was somewhat the truth. She lifted her elbow, indicating the arm in the sling. “You broke it when you fell.”
She looked down at the cast covering her arm and the blue sling. Devon thought she would ask more questions, but she just looked up at him again. “Can I watch TV?”
Devon laughed. “Absolutely.”
One of the patient care aides came back with a refilled water cup and handed it to Devon. When Hailey had her fill, he switched on the TV mounted high on the wall opposite the bed and flipped through the channels until he found something about horses. He shifted the recliner he always sat in until he’d lined up with the bed and sat there holding her hand as they watched the show. After half an hour, he found her asleep again, which wasn’t surprising. It was more time than he’d had with her in a week, and he was happy to have it. He tucked the sheet and the blanket up to her chin and kissed her forehead as she snored softly.
Without thinking of the time, he called his brother.
“Devon? Is something wrong?”
“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn't think about the time.” He glanced at the clock and winced when he saw it was after midnight. “Hailey was awake, and we talked.”
“Wow, okay.” Devon heard rustling on the other end of the phone. “How long was she awake? What did she say?”
“She asked what happened. She remembers nothing,
but the nurse said her memories could come back.”
“So she’s asleep again?” Caleb asked, and Devon heard Lori’s murmured voice in the background.
“Yeah. We watched TV, Caleb. She was perfect except for what she couldn't remember.”
“That’s great, brother. Kiss her for me, and I’ll come by in the morning.”
“You think I should call Mom and Dad, or let them sleep?”
Caleb laughed. “Dad wouldn’t mind being woken, but you know how Mom gets without sleep.”
Devon discovered he could actually see the humor in that. His mood was improving. “Okay, I’ll wait until the sun comes up. Love you, man.”
“I love you, too, Devon. Lori says she loves you both, and we’ll see you in the morning. Good night.”
Yeah, his mood had improved. He wanted to find out if Chloe was still in the hospital since she’d never met Hailey while she was awake. He figured she’d already gone home, though, so he was content to watch something mindless on the TV he hadn't turned off.
The next morning, there were visitors again, some wanted and some unwanted. Devon decided not to leave her room; Don could handle his fellow reporters. Caleb and Lori came, followed by Vince and Anna.
“Devon, I was so happy when Lori said Hailey woke up last night.” Anna had made an effort to come a few times that week, both with and without Vince.
“It was over too fast, but it was nice to see her smile and talk to me,” he told her.
Vince gave Devon a one-armed hug. “It's good she was talking and everything.”
“It’s an enormous relief.” Devon sat in his chair and watched Hailey sleeping. “It worried me she’d have lingering issues we wouldn’t know about until she woke up. She doesn’t remember anything yet, but the doctors think it’ll come back to her with time.”
Lori sat, and Caleb stood behind her. “It’s a burden off your shoulders, I hope,” she said, rubbing circles over her swollen belly.
“It is. You know how worried I was that something was seriously wrong with her.”