by Hamel, B. B.
I plaster a smile on my face. I’m going to get through this. I’m not going to die.
“Thanks, Michael. Tonight is going to be a bit chilly with a low of thirty-nine, so pull out those extra blankets. Tomorrow’s looking clear with a high of fifty-six and a low of thirty-three. The rest of the week goes from nice and crisp to gloomy and rainy pretty fast.” I gesture once, twice, at the green screen I’m standing in front of. I have no clue if I do it right. “Keep an eye out on those temperatures, folks, because it’s going to get cold. Back to you, Michael.”
And the red light blinks off.
I frown and turn toward Cade. He’s grinning huge, looking so excited, like a little boy at Christmas. Ken, for his part, doesn’t look angry. He’s actually smiling a little bit.
“And we’re out,” Ken calls.
“Holy shit!” Cade comes running over to me. “Holy shit, Lucy!”
He wraps his arms around me and lifts me up in the air. I hear people clapping and it takes me a second to realize that it’s the entire studio, the anchors included, giving me a standing ovation.
“Not bad,” Ken grumbles begrudgingly. “Not bad at all.”
“I was okay?” I ask.
“Okay? You were fucking fantastic!” Cade shouts. “Oh my god, Lucy, you were so good!”
He hugs me again and then the next few minutes are a blur of shaking hands and congratulations. The main anchor, a nice older man named Michael, makes it a point to come over and say how wonderful he thought I was.
“You’ve got a future, kid,” he says, grinning, as he walks off again.
I’m dizzy and overwhelmed so I finally manage to excuse myself. I slip off and hide in the office, sitting down on the couch to catch my breath.
Cade comes in a second later.
“Did I really do okay?” I ask him, head still buzzing.
He sits down next to me and takes my hand. “Lucy, I’ve joked around with you a lot, but believe this. You did amazingly.”
I bite my lip then laugh. “Well, it’s all thanks to your stupid Mexican drugs. I feel better, you know.”
That only makes him grin even more.
“What?” I ask.
“Lucy, I gave you Alka-Seltzer.”
I stare at him for a second, not understanding. “No, you gave me your illegal Mexican…” And I trail off as I realize how absurd that sounds.
“That was all you,” he says softly.
“You fucking asshole!”
He cackles with delight as I punch him in the arm. He grabs me and pulls me against him, and I let him hold me in a tight hug.
“You just needed a nudge,” he says. “A little placebo.”
“I don’t know why I believed you.”
“Neither do I, honestly. I mean, seriously, you think I went to Mexico and bought some drugs in bulk?”
“Wouldn’t put it past you.”
He sighs and shakes his head. I look up and meet his gaze.
“You really don’t know me at all.”
I bite my lip as I stare into his eyes. He leans closer, hand on my cheek.
“Maybe not,” I admit.
“Listen, you did great today. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks.” I don’t know why that makes me blush.
He moves closer to me and when our lips meet, it’s completely natural.
Of course I’m kissing him right now.
And of course it feels good and right, like coming home after a long trip away.
I fall into his kiss, his arms. He holds me, kisses me slow, and all the anger and bad feelings disappear for a moment. I can be his, all his, completely his.
And then we finally break apart.
I feel dizzy, overwhelmed. He squeezes my hand then stands.
“We should celebrate,” he says.
“How?” I ask.
“I’ll take you out, we can go dancing, we can—”
I shake my head, interrupting him. “No. We have to travel tonight.”
He frowns. “Shit. You’re right.”
“It’s okay.”
“Well, I can—”
“No, really.” I stand up. “Listen, I’m happy with how this went. I think… I think you showed up and tried. So let’s call it a day, okay? I’m heading back to my room to pack.”
“Wait, Lucy—”
But I turn away.
I can’t stay in here with him. I know I can’t. If I let myself, then I’m going to celebrate. And if I celebrate…
I’m going to late him do all the filthy things he wants to do.
So instead, I go get changed back into my normal clothes. I wash off all the makeup. I return to my normal self.
My hangover comes back with a vengeance.
This has been an interesting week. A hard week, a confusing week, a good week. But one week is now over.
We have three more to go.
8
Cole
One step forward, two steps back. That’s how things move with Lucy and it’s driving me insane.
The day after her on-screen debut, we’re on the road again. This time though, we’re traveling way out of town.
“Excited?” I ask her as we’re sitting in the first class lounge waiting for our flight.
“I guess so.” She shifts a little in her chair and looks at me. “Can I tell you something?”
“Yes, I know, you have wet dreams about me.”
She makes a face. “I don’t think girls have wet dreams.”
“You dream about me, you wake up wet. That’s a wet dream.”
“I don’t think—” She stops herself. “Okay, can I just tell you what I wanted without your juvenile comments?”
“Go ahead,” I say. “I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
She glances away. “I’ve never been on a plane before.”
I stare at her for a long moment. “Are you joking?”
“Don’t make fun of me,” she snaps. “I’ve just, we didn’t travel when I was growing up and everything’s here in the city so—”
“Holy shit,” I say, blinking rapidly. “You’ve never been on a plane.”
“We’re not all rich like you.”
“Turns out, poor people are allowed on planes these days.” I make a disgusted face. “As much as we lobbied against that.”
She rolls her eyes. “Seriously. I haven’t been able to afford to fly places.”
“So, what, you take the train?”
“No, I drive. Or at least the few times I’ve had to leave the city.”
“Where’d you go to school?” I ask her, eyes narrowed.
“Fordham.”
“Of course.”
“What?”
“You just strike me as a Fordham girl.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Nothing. So you really are sheltered, huh?”
“I wouldn’t call it sheltered, but—”
“Sheltered,” I repeat.
She glares at me. “Look, I didn’t tell you so you could make fun of me, okay?”
“Okay, okay.” I pause a second. “Are you nervous?”
“Yeah,” she says softly.
I watch her for a second, genuinely surprised. She puts on this tough girl front for the most part, but clearly there’s more going on underneath the surface than I realized. She’s vulnerable right now and she’s letting me see it.
I’d better not fuck that up.
“It’ll be okay,” I say softly, putting my arm around her.
“Yeah?”
“Oh, sure. Plane crashes aren’t all that common, you know. And when they do, usually everyone dies, so at least you don’t walk away just like maimed or whatever. That’s good, right?”
She stares at me, horrified.
“What?” I ask, frowning.
“You asshole.” She shoves me away. “What is wrong with you?”
“I was being comforting.”
“You’re talking about me getting maimed.”
�
�No, I’m talking about you dying instantly on impact and not living with horrible injuries the rest of your life. It’s a mercy!”
“Oh my god.” She gets to her feet. “You’re the dumbest person I’ve ever met.”
“What?!”
She storms off, leaving me there completely flabbergasted.
“Shit,” I say softly.
So much for not fucking that one up.
* * *
She doesn’t talk to me until we board and only then she does it out of desperation.
“So what happens now?” she whispers to me. We’re sitting next to each other in the first class cabin.
“Well, we sit here for a while until the plane lands. Then we get off and we’re in a new city.”
She glares at me. “Don’t be an asshole. You’re in enough shit right now.”
I grin at her. “I’m sorry. So the plane will taxi until—”
“Taxi?”
“Yeah, just like, drive along the ground. And then we’ll wait in line until it’s time to take off.”
“Then we fly,” she whispers.
“It’s not bad. Plane goes real fast then you sort of feel the weight drop out from under you for a split second before the plane lifts off.”
“Sounds horrible.”
“It’s not. Landing is worse.”
Her face blanches. “Really?”
“Sure. It circles and circles and slowly lowers down. Do you get motion sick?”
“I don’t think so.”
“We’ll find out.”
“Oh my god. You aren’t being very compassionate.”
I shrug a little. “I’m sorry. I’m just trying to be honest with you about this.”
“Well, stop. Lie to me.”
“Okay, but I don’t think I need to. I mean, it’s really no big deal. Your fear is going to be way worse than what actually happens.”
She hesitates a second. “Really?”
“Sure. I remember the first time I flew, way back when. I was terrified, but it’s not a big deal anymore.”
“That’s because you’ve done it so much.”
“Yeah, true, but also because I know what to expect. And I’m telling you, it’s more boredom than anything else.”
She nods once. “Okay. You’re right.”
“Trust me.” I lean toward her. “We all want to get where we’re going, pilots included. We’re going to be totally fine.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Okay.”
The flight attendant appears a moment later, a pretty woman in her mid-fifties with blonde hair pulled up in a bun. “Can I get you folks anything?” she asks.
“She’ll have a double vodka,” I say.
“Okay, anything for you?”
“Nope. I’m fine.”
The flight attendant hurries off to get her drink.
“What are you doing?” Lucy hisses at me.
“You need it.”
“I don’t.”
“You really do. You’re a mess. It’ll help calm you down.”
She frowns at the seat in front of her for a second. “Okay. Fine.”
I laugh. “There you go.”
The flight attendant comes back in a moment. “We’re taking off shortly.” She hands me the drink and I pass it over to Lucy. “Anything else?”
“That’ll be all.”
She nods and walks off. Lucy sips her drink and makes a face. “I don’t even like vodka.”
“Better knock it back. Can’t have an open drink when the plane starts to take off.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. She’s going to come take it back from you in a second.”
Lucy glares at me. For a second, I think she might hit me. But instead, she throws the drink back, makes a face like she might scream, and then forces herself to calm down.
“Asshole,” she hisses and I just laugh.
The flight attendant comes a few minutes later to collect her empty cup. She gives Lucy an appraising smile before heading off to wherever flight attendants go during take-off and landing.
The plane starts to taxi out onto the runway. “Oh, god,” Lucy whispers.
“It’ll be fine.”
“It’s moving!”
“That’s what planes do.”
She glares at me but I can see the fear in her eyes.
“Be nice,” she hisses at me.
I reach over and take her hand in mine. She hesitates before squeezing it.
“Trust me,” I whisper to her. “It’s going to be okay. I promise. Once it’s in the air, you’re going to be so bored.” I lean closer, whispering in her ear. “Think about something nice, okay? It’ll be over soon, I promise.”
“Flying is bullshit,” she whispers, closing her eyes tight. “Why do we do this? Flying metal Twinkies with wings. It’s insanity.”
I laugh softly and squeeze her hand again. She holds mine back tight as the plane gets into position. We only wait a few minutes before the seatbelt sign flashes, the pilot makes his last call over the intercom, and the plane lurches forward.
“Oh shit, oh shit,” she whispers.
“It’s okay,” I whisper back. “Just breathe.”
She concentrates on breathing as the plane gains speed. I smile a little bit, trying to see this from her perspective. I guess it is pretty terrifying if you’ve never done it before.
The plane gains speed, gains speed, and then…
The drop, the lurch.
“Oh, shit!” she whispers, tensing.
But we’re in the air and gaining altitude.
“Open your eyes,” I say to her softly, reaching across her body to lift open the window. “Go ahead. Look.”
She hesitates just a second before opening them, blinking rapidly. She looks out the window and takes a breath.
“Holy crap,” she says.
“I know.”
We watch the city pull away from us in silence. It’s beautiful, really. I never appreciate it anymore, not since I started flying all the time. But seeing it through her eyes really does give me a new appreciation of just how beautiful this is.
We continue holding hands until the plane breaks into the clouds and we reach cruising altitude.
She smiles at me and gently lets my hand go. “Okay. I’m okay. What happens now?”
“Now we sit here for like six hours.” I adjust myself, leaning back in the seat. “Better get comfortable.”
She groans. “That’s it?”
“That’s it. From here on out, it’s pretty easy.”
She looks like she wants to say something else but she stops herself. “Thanks, Cade,” she says gently.
“No problem.”
“Seriously. You were kind of a dick earlier, but—”
“Don’t worry about it. And trust me, we’re going to be fine. Just try to relax. This’ll be mostly boring.” I raise an eyebrow at her. “Unless you want to join the mile-high club?”
She makes a face. “Maybe not on my first flight.”
“We’ll have other chances then.”
She shakes her head with a smile and leans back in her seat. She closes her eyes and I let her try and get some sleep.
It’s strange how we take for granted some of the things in our lives. Flying seems like such a normal experience to me and yet for Lucy, it’s incredibly strange and new.
I know one other new thing she’s going to experience with me. But I suspect I won’t be as gentle about that.
9
Lucy
We land in Portland and get an Uber to our hotel. It’s right in downtown, a big fancy glass building. I’m sure it’s outrageously expensive as soon as we set foot inside and, sure enough, the rooms we’re shown to are absurd.
“What do you think?” Cade asks me, lingering in my little sitting area.
“It’s too nice,” I complain.
“That’s a new one.”
“Seriously, where is all this money coming from?”
He shrugs and gestures
around. “Here and there.”
“The company better not be paying for it.”
“Of course it is.” He laughs softly. “What, do you care about that now?”
I hesitate a second. Do I actually care? No, I guess I don’t. And it is nice to stay in nice hotels and fly first class… although I’ve never flown anything but first class now.
“I’m not your accountant,” I grumble. “Just be careful. You don’t own anything just yet.”
He waves that off. “We both know I’m going to pass this. Just a matter of time.”
I glance away. I don’t want to say that I’ve been thinking about denying him… I don’t want to admit it to myself.
But the thought is still there.
This company is huge. It owns so much… and he’s going to be the one in charge.
I don’t know if I trust him to use that power responsibly. I mean, look at what we’ve done so far.
He kicked a TV producer from his own office just to make a point, made sure we stayed at the finest hotels, and got me drunk.
A few times now.
If he’s trying to show me that he’s not the rich playboy I already think he is, well, he’s not doing a great job.
But still, I did get a glimpse of something more… something better. It’s lurking there underneath his cocky, arrogant attitude. He’s shown me pieces of it but I want more… I need more.
I can’t just give this man whatever he wants.
“Come on,” he says, lingering by the door.
“Come on?” I cock my head. “Where are we going?”
“Work, of course.”
I blink rapidly. “Excuse me?”
“I got a text when we landed. There’s a night session going on right now if we want to crash it.”
“Night… session?”
He grins at me. “We’re working at a recording studio this week. What do you think that’s going to be like?”
I frown at him. “I honestly hadn’t thought about it.”
“Well, this is it. Odd hours, long hours.”
“But we just landed.”
He grins at me. “Oh, you want to skip work, huh?”
I clench my jaw. “Of course not. Let me just freshen up.”
“Get as fresh as you like. I’ll be waiting outside.”