I ran my hands through her soft hair and cupped the back of her head. “I don’t even know what that means, but I’ll do anything to keep you close.”
Her eyes closed like she’d kiss me, but she said, “Soon enough you’ll be sick of me, Jesse Donovan.”
I pulled her closer to me, so she was practically sitting on my lap. “Doubtful. You’re precious and rare.”
Her lips met mine. For a moment, I had everything I ever wanted, but at the same time, I ached to claim Em as my own and keep her forever. Without thinking, my hands moved up and down her sides and I leaned forward to lead her into the grass.
Her fingers curled in my hair. And her kisses were full of steam.
She wanted me, too, but she let me go. I ached to have her back, but she sighed and stood.
As she brushed herself off, she pointed across the vineyard and said, “The band is practicing.”
It took me a moment, but then I heard the faint sound of music. I wasn’t ready to let her go. Ever. I was so hard, it was like I’d never had sex in my life, but I stood and forced myself to be calm. Once I was sure, I held out my hands and said, “Let’s dance.”
She accepted my lead and followed me in a slow dance. She was probably the first woman to ever trust me. I’d not break this moment.
Part of me wondered what would happen if she accepted my offer to run away together. I felt like she was mine already, and I’d protect her with my life. I’d make sure she’d never experience anything but what she wanted. Which was funny, because until Em showed up, I wasn’t even sure what I wanted.
Now I knew, and it was her.
Chapter 10
Emily
The hair and makeup women helped me put on the green dress I’d saved for today, and then worked their magic. My hair was up again, but this time, it was a little bigger. Silver glitter on my eyelids transformed me. Today, I was someone else. Someone beautiful, who had an amazing guy totally into me.
A knock sounded on my door. The women from The Glass Slipper departed and my brother slipped inside. He hugged me and said, “You look beautiful, Sis.”
My heart seemed to expand in my chest. It was still strange for me that my brother now had serious muscles and tattoos, but his hug was the same. I swallowed and said, “Thanks, Stone. I feel … good.”
“I’m glad.” He opened the door so we could walk out together as he said, “You look like you’re having a good time with Jesse Donovan.”
“He’s … wonderful,” I said as we made our way to the stairs. “I haven’t met many smart and handsome guys my age.”
He chuckled and his shoulders relaxed as he asked, “Smart, huh?”
Intense. Thoughtful. Handsome. And Jesse’s kisses made my knees go weak. But none of these were things I could easily say to anyone, including my brother. As we neared the landing, I said, “He’s so well-read and easy to talk to.”
We continued down to the first floor, and Stone said, “Well, if that’s all you two are doing, I’m even happier, Sis. Though, I doubt Jason is.”
My skin buzzed. Jason was a friend, but nothing more. Once we made it to the bottom step, I saw the ballroom doors were open. I hugged my brother and said, "I see you’re interested in Vanessa again.”
“She’s avoiding me.”
“Well, you have changed in the past five years, but hopefully for the better. Maybe she just needs to see that you’re … better now.”
“Thanks, Sis.”
“Talk to you later, Stone.”
Jesse was there, waiting for me. He took my hands and said, “Em, come with me. We’re seated together.”
I pressed my hand on his shoulder and felt the warm rush that went to my toes from being beside him again. We headed to the balcony, where white chairs were lined up, overlooking the wedding arch set in front of the vines. As we scooted in and found our seats, I said, “I’m so excited to see an actual wedding. I’ve only ever seen them in movies.”
He stopped short and his eyes widened. “You’re joking?”
Somehow, I always told Jesse what was in my heart, when I didn’t do that with anyone else. Hopefully, one day, my stories wouldn’t shock him. I swallowed and said, “No, I’m not.”
An usher walked past, handing out programs. Jesse gave me one and said, “My mother assures me they’re in love, so there is that.”
My heart lifted. A wedding, here, was idyllic. And, my memory of Indigo was of a woman who always got whatever she set her mind to. She was always independent and focused. She had likely planned every detail of the wedding with the same laser-sharp focus, and that was probably why she wanted to make sure the Steels were dressed up so fancy.
I’d never imagined myself as a bride, but for a moment, I wondered how I’d feel as rose petals fell on me as I walked up that aisle toward Jesse. I blinked and the image evaporated, complete with the silly addition of flower petals from heaven. My face heated and I said, “That’s good.”
He put his arm around my shoulders and a spark jolted me.
“I suppose,” he said. “I’d never known anyone like the Steel women before. You and your family truly are special and unique. It’s nice to see a family that actually cares about each other.”
The music started and my cousin appeared, an angel in white. I said, “Jesse, you’re going to make me cry.”
“Shh.” He winked and inched closer to me as he said, “The ceremony is starting.”
“I’m so happy for Indigo and Jacob,” I said.
My heart thumped like crazy. I watched as they exchanged vows and lit candles, but I imagined myself and Jesse.
Crazy, probably, but today was all about fantasy. As the wedding ended, the bride and groom walked back down the aisle, arm in arm.
As we all headed back to the ballroom to find our seats for the reception, Jesse slowed and said, “I’m serious, Em. I want to spend the rest of the summer with you.”
If only. "What about your family?”
“They won’t even notice I’m gone.”
We were seated at the same table. As we made our way to it, I glanced across the room to my brother, who sat at another table with some of our cousins. He had his vision focused on Vanessa, the bridesmaid. My brother’s ex and one of Indigo’s friends from when they went to school together.
When we reached our table, I said, “I … I feel a little guilty about accepting.”
He held my chair for me and as we both settled, he whispered in my ear, “You have no reason to.”
I’d never had a boyfriend, and Jesse would be the best, ever. I swallowed and waited till the waiters finished setting the salads in front of us and moved to another table. Then, I said, “Until you, I hadn’t even kissed anyone. Dating sounds good … but it’s the whole seven weeks, just the two of us, that sounds unbelievable.”
We picked up our silverware and he said, “Think about it, at least.”
Maybe I should. I’d like nothing better than to be his and only his. He was more than I ever imagined. But I tapped his leg and said, “For now, let’s enjoy today and the reception.”
“Anything you want,” he said, with a smile that showed off those dimples of his.
My heart pounded. I was probably stupid for stalling. I’d never meet another guy like him, ever. I ate a few bites of my salad. Once I’d finished, I reached for my water and said under my breath, “You almost make me believe that anything is possible.”
We finished the rest of our salads and waiters came and took the plates. As we waited for the next course, Jesse folded his hands and asked, “What are your plans for the summer, then?”
Go with him, my heart whispered. But I hardly knew him. I tugged my ear to ground myself in reality and said, “I’m going to stay at my brother’s in Florida and get to know him again before school starts.”
Jesse kept his voice low, like we were whispering our deepest secrets, and my pulse zipped from his warm breath on my skin. “My grandmother owned a few places in Florida and I inherit
ed everything she had. How would it be if I stayed nearby, so I could take you out whenever we want to be together?”
“I’d like that,” I said quickly. My body heated from his nearness, but I glanced down as waiters returned to the table with the dinner plates. “But I don’t even know what part of Florida he lives in.”
He didn’t care that a waiter stood behind us as he said, “Doesn’t matter. I’ll be there, if you let me.”
I’d never forgive myself if I ruined this moment. “Well, this is a better idea than running off together. Let me think more on this.”
He pressed his hand on my back and said, “Take your time, Em. I don’t want to pressure you. I just want to be able to see you.”
A tear formed in my eye. I’d not been desired, ever. I wiped the tear away and pointed to the head table as I asked, “Are all weddings this beautiful?”
“I’ve never had more fun at one,” he said, as he picked up his silverware.
I started eating, and the food was as delicious as the company.
As we finished our meals, the music started. We stood and walked to the dance floor. For a few minutes, we watched the bride and groom dance. Jesse wrapped his arm around me halfway and I swayed watching them.
More people joined in, and I rolled my shoulder into his side and said, “Do you want to dance?”
“With you, yes,” he said, and led me out onto the dance floor.
It was like we were the only people in the world. He twirled me, and as I curled back into his arms, I asked, “Jesse, what do you see in me that you’re willing to fly across the country for?”
He sucked in his lips and studied me. “I see a smart, independent woman who somehow makes my cold, unfeeling heart feel alive. I’m afraid if I lose you, I’ll go back to only wishing for the one thing I never had.”
Maybe we were both wishing for the same thing. I wanted to believe that love could happen at first sight, and that we’d found each other, forever. I felt his heart beating in sync with mine, and I gazed up at him and asked, “What is it that you’re wishing for?”
He tugged me tighter and my arms wrapped around his neck. “Feelings for anything or anyone.”
I knew it wasn’t so simple. I shook my head and said, “Jesse, I think you’re too hard on yourself.”
“I don’t.” He continued to lead, guiding me toward the edge of the dance floor. He then took my hand and we headed outside. Once we were alone on the balcony again, he said, “Remember the girl I told you about? The one I broke up with before coming here?”
My stomach clenched but I said, “Yes.”
He led me to the ledge. The wedding arch was still in place by the vineyard.
“She keeps texting emojis, offering more sex,” he said. “I’m not responding, because I have you.”
My face heated and I turned away. “I’m not … ready for that, even if I want to.”
He placed his hand on my shoulder and I turned toward him.
“I’m not telling you this to pressure you,” he said. “I can wait for as long as you need.”
I believed him. Maybe I was naive, but Jesse seemed like the most perfect guy I could ever hope to meet. “Then, why are you telling me?”
He lowered his head and pressed it against mine. “Because that’s the life I lead in Beverly Hills.”
That couldn’t be all there was to him. I narrowed my gaze. “I thought you raised bees.”
He grinned. “I do, because I like them and it’s giving back to nature, in a way. But I can do that anywhere. And I’d probably be happier living without the pressure of being the rich boy jerk I’ve been for years.”
I went up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Jesse, don’t take my hesitation as rejection, okay? I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone in my life, ever.”
“Good,” he said, and held me closer.
I hugged him tighter and closed my eyes. “I just don’t want to move too fast and possibly ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
His fingers on my back were the only reality I needed.
“This is why I’m letting you lead on this,” he said. “I’ve never had self-control, and you’re all I want.”
“I think you have more self-control than you realize. You’re perfect,” I said. My lips puckered, and my hopes were tied into the desire I felt for him.
He sighed. “Only to you.”
Finally, he kissed me, and I forgot everything else. Today was perfect. This was probably love, and I was living in a fantasy that I never wanted to end. Jesse was perfect.
Chapter 11
Emily
The sun was warm and bright on the balcony. When we finally stopped kissing, I headed into the bathroom to freshen up. If we hadn’t stopped when we did, I’d have invited him to my room. Heat had coursed through me, and I’d been tempted to find out what would happen next.
Even as I stared at myself in the mirror, with my hair half out of the pins, my body was on fire. Being with Jesse seemed right and easy and perfect.
Part of me wanted to avoid going back in the room and just follow through on the aches inside my body. I wanted to know what being with Jesse would be like. My skin was still heightened with awareness of him.
Right. I’d made up my mind. I finished fixing my hair. Now I didn’t look like I’d spent an hour outside during the reception.
It was time to go and find Jesse. I’d ask him if we could be together. But as I headed out of the bathroom to return to the ballroom, I came face to face with an older woman with black hair and a mole between her cheek and her nose, who towered over me. She crossed her arms as she stared down at me. “Emily, is that you?”
To her right was her mini clone who usually swore at me.
“Lana, Cleo.” I nodded, and hoped they’d move along.
Cleo blinked at me and said, “You’re fucking sitting with Jesse Donovan?”
“Now you recognize me.” Heat rose in my face and I hugged my waist as I asked, “Where is Coco?”
Lana motioned behind her. “She’s dancing with your cousin Jason, though she knows he’s not a good choice for her.”
My insides were twisted and my eyes widened as I asked, “Why not? He’s a great guy. And, he’s going to be a doctor.”
She leaned down and squeezed my elbow like we were suddenly family. “Never bet on a maybe. I thought you’d at least learned that from me.”
My neck strained to find Jason and Cleo on the dance floor. They looked cute together. Then, I stepped back and said, “Lana, I have to go.”
Her snort riled my hairs to stand on end. Then she shrugged and said, “Go and score yourself a billionaire, just as I taught my girls.”
I stopped and stood straighter. Jesse wasn’t a prize. It wasn’t like that. My skin prickled and I said, “You didn’t teach me anything.”
Her lips curled in a sneer as she asked, “Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?”
My heart shattered. For five years I’d tried to prove myself to her as a good person. My voice went higher. “No.”
Cleo scoffed. “Still lying to yourself, just like you’ve done ever since we met.”
In high school, she’d always acted like I was the hired help in her family.
Lana patted her daughter’s arm like she agreed with her assessment of me and said, “Guess that makes looking in the mirror easier.”
My entire body slumped, like she’d stepped on the remains of my soul and dug her high heel into it to deflate me. I glanced away and asked, “Why do you hate me, Lana? I have never done anything to you.”
She gave a sniff of the air that told me plenty, without a word. But then she said, “I don’t hate you, Emily. You’ve always been nothing to me. But you are annoyingly irritating.”
Five years with her had been five years too long. My eyes burned but I asked, “Why?”
Her lips thinned as she said, “Because you were a constant reminder that your father didn’t adore me.”
I pressed my hand to my heart. This was the first time she’d ever bothered to answer me honestly, and the tick inside me made me hope we’d broken through, finally. “He married you. He said he loved you.”
She straightened and patted her dark, upswept hair. “But we both know he didn’t. Not like he loved you and your mother.”
My mother had been like sunshine that shone in the window on a summer morning. She was fun, sweet, and kind, and her laughter was infectious. If I hurt myself, she kissed it and made it better.
I lowered my head. I didn’t want to break this moment, though I wanted to pick up the remains of my soul at the same time. I said, “So all these years, you were punishing me, because of him.”
Two shadows suddenly appeared on the wall beside me. I jumped, startled, until the voice of an old friend sounded in my ears.
“Is everything okay?”
I glanced over and saw Coco and Jason. I inched closer to them, even though I was more confined than ever now. “Yes. Thanks, Jason. Goodbye.”
I scooted between Jason and Coco, who moved aside to let me pass. As I hurried away, I heard Coco say, “Mother, you were wrong to treat Emily the way you did all this time. She’s a good girl.”
My face heated. Coco had been the closest thing I’d had to an ally in all those years at Lana’s house, but I couldn’t tell her that right now. I took another step, but then Lana said, “You’re only saying that because you’re now slumming, Coco.”
The Steels might not have much, but we stood tall and survived. I absolutely had. And, Jason might not be a Steel, but he’d learned from my aunt and uncle, and he stuck around because he hoped to be a better person. Medical school was hard, but I knew he’d make it.
I was seething inside, but I couldn’t scream at Lana about this right now.
My brother was on the dance floor with Vanessa, so I ran to the other side of the ballroom and found Jesse. He hugged me and his fingers against my skin almost wiped out the cold electric current that rushed inside me. I was safe here, with him.
Cinder by Ashes Page 8