by Marina Epley
“Strong legs,” Gabriel comments. He rises slowly to his feet and looks right into my eyes. “Can you run fast?”
Still shaken by his examination, I don’t comprehend his words. “What?”
“Are you deaf, girl?” he asks, his voice angry. “Do you not understand what I’m asking?”
“Yes,” I utter, forgetting to call him master. “Yes, master,” I add.
“Then answer my question. Can you run fast?”
“Yes, master.” I nod. “I’m very fast.”
“Well, we’re going to find out.” He smiles. “Follow me.”
I step out of the line, and begin putting my dress back on.
“No!” Gabriel stops me. “And take off your shoes.”
I hurriedly execute his harsh command, wondering what is coming next. What is he about to make me do? Why can’t I dress?
He steps in front of Trent, assessing him.
“How old is he?” Gabriel asks.
“Eighteen, master,” Dimitri reports.
Gabriel orders Trent to remove his shoes and shirt, and directs him to follow. He next selects Samantha along with a few other male and female servants. He orders the selected to form a new line. Half-naked and silent, we wait patiently for his following command, avoiding directly looking at each other. I feel overwhelmingly exposed and defenseless. The desire to flee and return to my small dark shack increases. It feels like everything happening here has been a big mistake and nothing good will come out of my idea to take part in this Exchange.
Gabriel holds a white handkerchief over his nose, disgusted by the stench coming from the Field. He introduces himself, explaining that today we have a precious opportunity to become his servants.
“I’m looking for strong runners,” he says. “The servants who prove themselves worthy will live in Central Settlement and train to become my racers.”
Racers? I’ve never heard anything about racers. But I suppose being a racer has to be better than being a picker. I can’t imagine anything worse than digging through filth and garbage.
“I want you to run circles around the square,” Gabriel says. We all stand unmoving, looking at him hesitantly. My pulse quickens, making me dizzy. “What are you waiting for?!” he shouts. “Go!”
I take off, running lightly and trying to keep my breathing steady. I’m quite overwhelmed by everything that’s happening, and have to force myself to focus on my pace. I decide I shouldn’t run too fast because it could quickly wear me down. And I have no idea for how long or far we’ll have to run. Trent jogs beside me, breathing heavily. Samantha moves ahead, but soon tires and falls back. The hard ground hurts my bare feet.
“Faster!” Gabriel commands. “Come on now! Show me what you’ve got.”
I increase my speed. My lungs begin to burn. I run faster than my usual comfortable pace, every muscle aching. I distract myself by thinking about my future life in Central Settlement. I concentrate on thoughts of the bright hot sun, ocean and exotic palm trees. A dozen servants still run ahead of me and I can hear their ragged breaths and heavy footsteps. Somebody coughs and drops to the ground.
“Faster!” Gabriel demands.
I believe I can’t run any faster but somehow manage to again increase my pace. My lungs seem to be on fire. I’m completely out of breath and my head is spinning. Catching air with my open mouth, I overtake a few more servants. I hear Samantha following behind, now letting out anguished groans. Trent is a few feet ahead and I try to keep pace with him.
“Faster!” Gabriel repeats.
He makes us run around the square for what seems like an eternity. I can’t think about my future anymore. I forget about life in Central Settlement. I don’t want to become a racer or leave my home. The only thing I want at the moment is to fall down and breathe deeply, just stop running and relax. This is torturous. I hate Gabriel for making us run like this. I hate myself for taking part in this stupid Exchange. But in spite of my weakness and despair, I continue running.
“Enough,” Gabriel says finally.
I stop, bending over and gasping for air. Everything swirls in front of my eyes and I somehow wind up on my hands and knees. I suck in air like a fish out of water. Sweat drips from my face and neck.
“Are you all right?” Trent asks, kneeling down beside me.
I nod, although I’m far from all right.
Gabriel approaches, a sweet smile spread across his perfect face.
“You two,” he motions toward us, “and you,” pointing toward Samantha still sitting on the ground, “will become my racers. I’m very pleased by your performance.”
He walks toward Dimitri to negotiate price. Somebody brings over my dress and I tiredly pull it on. The meaning of Gabriel’s words suddenly dawns on me.
I’m no longer a picker. I’ll become a racer. Finally, I’ve earned a chance for a better life.
I cover my face and let out a short, hysterical laugh. I rise to my feet, chuckling and sobbing at the same time.
“We’ll be living in Central Settlement!” I exclaim, smiling at Trent.
“Kora,” my mother calls my name.
I stop laughing and turn to face her. She’s standing several feet away from me, holding my shoes, looking old and tired. Only now I fully realize that I’ll possibly be leaving my mother forever.
My heart sinks and I feel like crying once again.
CHAPTER 4
My mother slowly approaches, looking much older than she really is. This moment could be the last chance for us to say goodbye. I have no idea about procedures following the Exchange.
Tears fill my eyes. I’m about to leave my mother all alone here.
“I’ve earned an opportunity to become a racer,” I mutter, breathless.
My mother nods, avoiding eye contact. I anticipate a sudden burst of accusations, but she remains silent. I’m her only child. I’m the only person who loves her and whom she really loves.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, choking on the words.
“Will Master Gabriel be taking you to Central Settlement?” my mother asks.
I nod.
“You’ve always hated our village,” she sighs. “It’s never been the right place for you.”
I envision my mother throwing her arms around me and kissing my face as Augusta did. I crave her love. I wish for some bit of assurance that my mother truly loves and needs me. I hope to carry a drop of her warmth with me as a farewell gift. But my mother remains distant and reserved. I just stand there, willing myself to hug her but unable to perform even that simple act. We’re both unskilled at expressing our feelings.
“I’ll be missing you,” my mother says.
“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I’m so sorry.”
No other words come to mind.
“It’s all right, Kora.” She smiles weakly. “I’m very happy for you. You were always right, I guess. I shouldn’t have tried to stop you. You need to find your own way in life.”
“I’ll come back someday,” I gulp. “I’ll earn my freedom and return for you. Just wait for me. I promise to return… and take you out of here.”
My mother’s lips quiver. “Just be happy, Kora. Just find the life you’ve always dreamt about. And I’ll be happy knowing that you’re doing fine.”
But you can’t know that, I want to scream. There’s a great chance we won’t ever see each other again.
I keep silent. If I open my mouth to say anything more, I’ll just start crying.
My mother hands me my shoes. I put them on, shivering. I try to think of anything else I must do, something that needs to be said, but my lips seem to be stuck together. My mother wraps an arm around my shoulders in an awkward and stiff gesture. I can’t stand it. I feel like some kind of selfish, ungrateful thing. What kind of daughter am I, when I’m so willing to abandon my mother?
“I love you,” she whispers. “Please be careful.”
I softly mumble more promises to return for her. I’m not sure whether I can keep such pro
mises. But I have to repeat them over and over, because doing so is the only thing keeping me from utter despair. I have to convince myself that I’ll see my mother again. Once I’m free, I’ll return and take my mother away from here. I can imagine us living together in Central Settlement in a beautiful house near a white sand beach, breathing clean air…
Gabriel’s harsh voice interrupts my fantasy. He orders all his new servants to proceed toward the transport truck.
“Good luck,” my mother whispers.
She releases me and a moment later she’s gone. I stand unmoving, taking time to follow her with my eyes, risking Gabriel’s anger. My cheeks are wet. I’m about to leave home for the first time.
***
Some of the remaining factory girls begin yelling insults at me, expressing their excitement at my departure. I know I should ignore them. But I yell something back anyway, because I’m no longer Depressed Loser Kora. I’m heading toward a new life, so please welcome New Kora the Winner. I call the girls slum rats and stick out my tongue. It’s another act of unprecedented bravery. And I’m very proud of myself.
Approaching the transport truck, I suddenly decide I should have given them a finger instead of my tongue. The latter seems way too childish. Well, at least I did something.
I climb inside the truck with Trent, Samantha and a few others. I notice Tanya, a shy ten-year-old picker with burn marks covering one side of her face. I always feel sorry for her. I wonder whether Gabriel bought her out of sympathy. She’s another beaten-down and broken example from our village. A poor little outcast whom nobody wants to befriend.
Guards close and lock the doors of the truck. It’s hot inside and the air stinks of wet manure. I guess this truck has been used for transporting animals before. Master Gabriel travels in a separate more luxurious vehicle.
I sit down on the floor. The truck lurches forward, carrying us away from the Recycling village. I suddenly feel panicky and scared. I don’t know exactly where we’re going. I’ve never been in Central Settlement. What if the place isn’t the heaven I’ve been dreaming about? What if all my plans and hopes of finding a better life fail? What if everything I dream of just becomes one huge disappointment, and what if…
Stop it, I tell myself. Don’t let your imagination get away from you.
I have to stop having doubts about myself. That was the old, scaredy-cat Kora. The new me shouldn’t doubt herself.
The truck jumps on the bumpy road, causing me to press my palms against the floor for balance. Trent sits on the opposite side of the truck. I sneak a few cautious glances at him, and my heart beats a little faster each time. He’s here with me. What luck! Trent and I will both become racers. And that means we’re no longer in two different clans.
I wish I could speak to Trent, say something cool and act like Samantha and the other pretty factory girls do. But I’m too big of a coward. Nothing smart comes to mind anyway. Maybe later, once we arrive, I’ll work up enough courage to approach him. I understand I’ll have to be the one to do it, because otherwise it will never happen. I’m unnoticeable.
I can’t see his face in the darkness, but I think he must be upset. Trent didn’t want to leave our village. I know this because at times factory servants would gather around a little campfire at night, telling stories and sharing their future plans. Being a picker, I wasn’t invited to attend those gatherings. But I hid out a few times, spying on them, and heard Trent speak. He wanted to become a guard in the Recycling village. Apparently, Master Dimitri had different plans for him.
I realize my mother isn’t the only person I’m going to miss. I’m also upset about leaving Lady Augusta and her husband. Thinking of them, I suddenly begin crying. It’s one of my weaknesses, crying with or without a reason. But I have to let myself loosen up a little bit to lessen my anxiety and mental strain. My face is obscured in the semidarkness and nobody can see my tears. So I just have to make sure I remain quiet.
I envision my mother, the way I last saw her on the meeting square. I feel like I swallowed a rock and it got stuck in my throat. Choking me.
It takes about fifteen minutes to calm down. My mind comes back to thoughts of my future life. I have to decide what kind of person I wish to become. What will my new personality be like? Should I become funny and smart? Maybe aggressive and courageous? I’m not sure yet, but what I do realize is that I’m ready to become anybody except my old self. I’m tired of myself. I want so badly to be someone different. The other racers won’t know better so I might even create a new past, if need be.
Samantha. That one may become a problem. She could start spreading rumors about me. Now separated from her pack, she sits quietly in a corner. But I know better than to believe she’ll ever leave me alone. I may have to tell any future friends that Samantha is a liar. Perhaps even come up with a couple of nasty stories about her first. I know it would be a really mean thing to do, but all is fair in war. And this is war, right?
I can’t allow anybody to destroy my future. I must be brave and fight anybody getting in the way of my destiny.
***
Several hours later, our truck finally stops and guards let us out. I find myself in a vast yard in front of a giant mansion, long green vines curling up its tall walls. The place looks incredibly green and manicured. Trees with thick foliage grow along the fence. There are bushes blooming with colorful, exotic-looking flowers. The air smells of salt and a dozen other pleasant unknown scents. The sky above is cloudless and electric-blue.
“So here it is, the legendary Central Settlement,” Trent says, standing beside me.
I’m too overwhelmed to answer.
Samantha looks around, smiling broadly. She suddenly lets out an excited laugh and hugs Trent.
“It’s so beautiful here!” she exclaims, her eyes sparkling. “It’s the most beautiful place in the world!”
I turn away, annoyed. How can Samantha so easily hug Trent and I can’t? Tanya sits on the ground, tentatively touching the thick luscious grass with her fingers. I follow her example. I run my fingers through the dense grass carpet and sniff. The scent of the grass is pleasant and fresh.
About fifty other servants mill about in the yard under the supervision of a few obviously bored guards. I guess all these people will also be training to become racers. I watch them closely because they are my potential new friends.
A burst of high-pitched girlish giggling attracts my attention and I turn to look. A tall blonde girl stands in the middle of six or seven guys, telling them something and smiling charmingly. She wears cut-off shorts and a provocative little top which reveals her flat stomach. Nobody from my village wears such revealing outfits. She has full lips, dark green eyes and a pretty golden suntan. The guys all stare at her as if mesmerized.
Guards direct us to form a line, facing the mansion’s entrance. Master Gabriel arrives, accompanied by a short athletic-looking woman in her late twenties. He wears a white long-sleeved shirt, dark slacks and carries a holstered gun on his waist along with a knife. The lady is dressed in a simple gray t-shirt and pants, and casually holds a whip at her side. Master Gabriel points out a few younger servants, including Tanya, and commands the guards to lead them away. He then announces that all of us remaining will become his racers. He never explains what exactly that entails, but promises that the best performers will be granted their freedom within a year. All that we have to do is train hard and show excellent results while participating in six Terror Races. Joan, the mystery lady in gray, will be our coach.
I watch Gabriel in silent awe, as if looking upon some sort of heroic prince. His words about freedom make me dreamy. I suddenly wonder what it would be like to stand beside Gabriel, speaking softly with him, holding his hand. I pause for a moment, becoming embarrassed with myself. Even when daydreaming, I must always remember my place. No master would ever fall in love with a lowly servant. But then I think what the heck? Why can’t I imagine whatever I want? I’m free in my mind and can think whatever I please as l
ong as nobody else is aware of my thoughts. So I allow myself to envision placing a kiss smack on Gabriel’s lips. The image makes me frown, it’s so ridiculous. I wonder how many other silly servant girls here have a crush on him.
As I’m daydreaming, Gabriel slowly unholsters his gun and thumbs the safety off. He smiles slightly, walking the line and eyeing each servant. He has a cold, unblinking gaze like a snake.
“My family has had to pay a high price for each of you,” he says. “But that won’t prevent me from getting rid of any lazy slaves. Laziness is one thing I won’t tolerate. So you’ll have to work very hard to prove to me your worth keeping alive.”
Gabriel stops short in front of a young guy standing only four servants away. He raises his gun and presses the barrel into the guy’s forehead. I hold my breath.
“To be honest,” Gabriel continues, “I’ve never cared too much about the price to obtain a slave. At the moment, I believe none of you really deserve to be living. And perhaps it would be merciful to go ahead and put some of you out of your misery. I doubt any of you have any thoughts to speak of in your heads, let alone the will to live.”
I feel suffocated. I don’t understand what Gabriel is doing. Is he just going to kill us? It doesn’t make any sense.
“Look at you,” Gabriel says, holding the gun to the guy’s head. “I could take your life right now. And nobody would even attempt to stop me. There are a few dozen of you here and I’m outnumbered. But I’m still stronger. All because none of you have anything to live for.”
I hear a click as he thumbs back the hammer of his pistol. Joan stands tensed with her whip several feet away, warily watching us. Guards hold their rifles ready in case any of us choose to resist.