by S. K. Yule
He stood and smoothed his jeans down his legs. He had to do the decent thing, the right thing, and keep his hands off her. He started back to his cabin. Tonight he would shift and run until exhaustion wrung every last thought of claiming Melony from his brain, although at this point, he wasn’t sure even death could do that.
This time fate had made a mistake. He couldn’t allow anyone to know she was his, or he’d be expected to claim her. He had a duty to his race to make her his, have sons with her, raise their young to respect lycan rules, and help them become good men, men who would be part of the next generation who would fight for the survival of their species.
But none of it mattered. Whatever obligations may be expected of him, he could not subject Melony to a loveless union. He knew firsthand what it was like to always feel disposable, to never be loved, and she deserved better.
The wolf in him howled in pain, and he hung his head in sadness, regret, and frustration. After he got home, he stripped off his clothes in the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stepped under the hot water.
He propped his hands against the shower wall and leaned under the spray, letting it plaster his hair to his head as it ran in rivulets over his body.
He’d been through a bunch of shit in his short life—a short life that seemed to stretch forever under the circumstances he’d existed in—and knew without a doubt, the war he was about to wage against himself where Melony was concerned was going to be the biggest battle of his life, one he’d probably lose.
The memory of her kiss assailed him once again. Son of a bitch. He reached up and flipped off the hot tap and hoped like hell the cold water would curtail his sudden hard-on.
64
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
Chapter Nine
“How was your afternoon with Lorent?” Shannon asked while mixing stuffing in a huge glass bowl.
Melony looked around the amazing kitchen. It was modern and the stuff a chef’s dreams were made of. Granite countertops, hand-carved wooden cabinets, and stainless steel appliances were complemented beautifully by the dark hardwood floors and soft lighting.
Everyone was here. Karen, Rindy, Janine, Sherry, Rose, and Shannon were busy preparing food, while the men were outside trying to figure out where to set up the extra tables that would hold the monstrous portions of food being prepared for Thanksgiving. She liked being with the women. It felt homey.
She’d learned Janine owned a cupcake shop that she ran out of her house in the city, and that Sherry had lived with her and helped her out until she’d met Piers. Now Piers and Sherry lived a short distance from Sanctuary, but had chosen to stay at the encampment once Sherry got close to her due date—which was sometime in January—until after she had the baby. Melony looked at the girl who stood in the corner mixing some frosting and smiled when she placed a protective hand over the bump on her belly.
She didn’t miss the way Karen would gaze at Sherry longingly when she thought no one was watching. It made her wonder if Karen and Anthony were trying to have a baby, and might be having problems doing so. Melony hoped if that were the case it would happen soon because she thought Karen would be a great mother. Anthony would be a good dad too if he didn’t scare the crap out of the kid.
A giggle nearly escaped her. She was being unfair. Anthony was imposing, true, but all of the men were in some way or other. It was just that Anthony seemed a bit less approachable than the others, not unlike Lorent.
Anthony, on the other hand, didn’t seem shy. He simply seemed distant, unreachable. Still, all that gruff exterior couldn’t mask the way she’d seen his eyes light up when he looked at Karen.
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Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“Well?” Shannon continued mixing the stuffing while tapping her foot in what could only be construed as an impatient manner.
“It was fine.” Melony didn’t want to talk to Shannon about Lorent. It didn’t feel right, and she had the urge to tell the girl to mind her own business, but bit her tongue before doing so.
“Did you learn anything from him today?” Rose asked as she dipped her finger in the frosting on the beaters Sherry had just removed from the bowl.
She put it to her mouth and groaned. “That is soooo good.”
“It’s a secret recipe of Janine’s.” Sherry smiled at her big sister.
“Yes. He taught me a bit,” Melony said before Rindy slid her a bowl of freshly peeled potatoes to wash and cut up.
“I’d like him to teach me a bit,” Shannon said under her breath.
“Hmmm, what was that?” Rindy looked at the girl with a raised brow.
“Oh. Nothing,” Shannon said.
“Shannon, you know he isn’t for you.” Rose gave Shannon a sardonic smile.
“How do you know? I could be. Maybe he just hasn’t said anything because he’s shy.” Shannon’s cheeks turned pink.
“Believe me. You’d know if you were his.” Janine laughed. “It’s not like the males aren’t obvious about it or anything when they find their mates.”
All the ladies giggled. Melony’s stomach churned at the prospect of Shannon being Lorent’s mate.
But why? Yeah, that’s the million-dollar question now, isn’t it? It shouldn’t bother her if Lorent liked Shannon, but it did. In fact, it bothered her to think of him being interested in any other girl, even though she really had no business feeling such things. She liked Lorent. Yes, he was shy, but who cared? She was willing to bet that once he came out of his shell, he’d be one hot, dominant man—one she’d like to be the center of attention to.
Well, he was already hot, probably dominant too, as she figured it was in a male lycan’s nature to be. He just didn’t seem to portray it as the other men around here did. Did she really want him to come out of his shell, though?
He was already sexy as hell. She might pass out if he decided to exude his dominancy. Damn, but fainting would be a small price to pay to witness that.
66
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“Your laundry is done, by the way, Shannon,” Melony said as she sliced the potatoes in chunks and put them in the boiling water on the stove.
Shannon’s cheeks turned pink again.
“Why is Melony doing your laundry?” Rindy asked Shannon.
“My washer isn’t working right,” Shannon mumbled while she furiously stirred the bowl’s contents.
Rindy rolled her eyes and looked at Karen. “Next time that happens, bring your laundry here and do it, and let one of the guys know so it can get fixed. Melony is not here to do your laundry.”
“Okay.” Shannon glared at Melony from under her lashes, and Melony found it hard to keep from smirking.
She hadn’t realized saying something about the laundry would get Shannon in trouble, but on the bright side, maybe it would keep her from trying to saddle her with future chores. Not that she would have let her get away with it again anytime soon, but it had probably saved her from many headaches that she had no doubt would be coming her way. Although now that Shannon probably felt as if she had ratted her out, Melony was sure those headaches would still be coming, just not in the form of chores.
“I was thinking about what Knox said to me the other day about being able to earn my keep around here. I’m really good at cutting hair, and I was wondering if I might be able to help with that around Sanctuary.”
She hadn’t been sure if the idea would be welcomed, but she needed something to do. The thought of twiddling her thumbs all winter was not appealing. She liked to relax and enjoy downtime just as anyone else did, but she wasn’t one who could spend days on end idling her time away doing nothing. She preferred to keep busy.
“Hmm.” Rindy’s forehead wrinkled in thought, and Melony held her breath waiting for a reply. A big smile broke on her lips. “Are you kidding me? That is an excellent idea. We have to travel over two hours to get our hair done now. What do you think about it, Karen?”
“Oh! That is an excellent idea. Do you do coloring and perms too?”
“I do. I’m not a professional, but I’ve always loved doing hair. I’ve done lots of friends’ hair, my own, my mother’s, and some of her friends as well.”
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Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“That would be heaven, Melony.” Rindy tapped her foot in what Melony took as excitement. “In fact, I think we could all use some hair attention.
We’ll talk about setting something up after Thanksgiving.”
Rose stepped closer to Melony. “You can trim all the men too. They get scruffy quick.”
“Agreed.” Rindy, Sherry, Janine, and Karen answered at the same time.
“Well, it’s set then,” Rindy said.
“Thank you.” Melony excitedly beamed.
Melony glanced up at Shannon, who had said absolutely nothing during the whole conversation. She wondered if Shannon wanted her to do her hair, but was unsure about asking after the laundry escapade. She didn’t have a problem with Shannon as long as she didn’t try to push her dirty underwear off on her again, but she decided it would be best if she waited for Shannon to approach her on the matter.
Rose patted Melony on the back. “Looks like you officially have a job.
Make a list of anything you might need, and I’ll have whoever makes the next run to town pick it up.”
“Awesome! Can’t wait!” The list was going to be quite long, as she’d need everything to start with.
“You’ll each have to tell me what exactly you’d like done so I will know what I need besides the basics. I’ll even make it easier on whoever makes the run to town and put an order in on the Internet at the Learning Center if someone can tell me where to have it sent.”
“There is a pickup for packages in town. I’ll get you the address later.
You might have to try a couple times to get your order in, though. I’m sure Lorent told you the Internet service is pretty sketchy out here.” Rindy popped a carrot into her mouth.
“Yes, he did tell me that.”
For the next two hours, she and the women chitchatted over this and that while preparing the food. Melony enjoyed talking with the women, but most of the time her thoughts kept returning to the kiss she’d shared with Lorent, and how she wanted to kiss him again—how she wanted him to kiss her.
68
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
Later that night, back at her cabin, she fed Puss and took a hot shower before falling into a deep sleep.
* * * *
“What are you doing, Lorent?”
He was sitting on a fallen tree by the clear pool at his secret place in the woods, when Melony came up behind him. He turned, and his breath whooshed from his lungs. The sun shined behind her through the thick trees and shimmered off her smooth skin. Her pink hair was done in its normal spiky do, and she wore black jeans with a pink sweater.
The sweater looked almost as soft as she did, and he ached to run his fingers over her, ached to learn every part of her body, every erogenous zone that would elicit a breathy sigh of delight from her lush mouth. He wanted to make her as crazy for him as he was for her.
He wanted to hear his name on her lips as he made her come, wanted to hold her against him afterward and caress her until she fell asleep cuddled intimately in his embrace.
“Hi, Melony.” He patted the empty spot next to him on the log. “Come sit beside me.”
He had to keep a tight leash on his control in reality, but here in the dream, he could do as he pleased. Here in the dream, he didn’t have to be as careful, as reserved with his feelings. Only that made him feel a bit guilty because Melony had no idea how real a dream shared between mates was. He’d not told her about dreams between mates, and though it probably made him an ass, he didn’t plan to anytime soon. Here in his dreams he could be selfish and spend all the time he wanted with her without worry of repercussions.
If the dream world was all he had, the only place he could show Melony his true self, he’d have to deal with it. At least here he didn’t have to pretend he wasn’t affected by her.
Here he could spend time with her, touch her, talk to her without worrying about his control or getting his ass kicked for showing interest in her. Here his training didn’t matter.
Here only he and Melony existed.
She sat beside him, and her scent drifted to him on the gentle breeze. He breathed her deep into his lungs, and his fingers itched to touch her, but he didn’t want to rush anything.
He doubted Melony was the kind of girl who had casual sex, and he wanted to take things slow with her. Truth be told, he didn’t want casual sex either. Not with her. When he took her, it would be fierce and beautiful and forever.
69
Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“This is a lovely place, Lorent.”
“It’s my secret place. As far as I know, no one else comes here. I’ve kind of claimed it as my own.”
“Oh. I wouldn’t want to impose then.”
He caught her hand when she started to get up. “No. Don’t go. I don’t mind sharing with you.”
She smiled and sat back down, but refused to let go of his hand when he tried to pull it back. That small gesture pleased him more than he thought possible. He stroked his thumb over her palm, and she glanced at him from under her thick lashes.
“I come here when I want to think or need some space.”
She looked around carefully. “It’s certainly a perfect place for that.” She cleared her throat and stared at him.
“What?”
“I was just wondering why you are willing to share this with me when you’ve been guarded with everything else.”
He frowned. He guessed she was right. He was guarded with things, but he had a good reason to be. “I don’t have much to talk about. I came here, went through the reformation program, and that was that. As far as my past, I don’t have anything good to say about it, so why say anything at all?”
“I see. I wouldn’t mind listening if you ever wanted to talk about it.” She gave his hand another squeeze.
Then the strangest thing happened. He found he actually wanted to tell her about his past, about all the horrifying things he’d been through, witnessed, not because he wanted to lay that kind of shit on her, but because he suddenly needed to tell someone for some reason.
If she knew, would she think of him differently? Would she look upon on him as if he were an uncaring monster? He didn’t want to risk it, yet deep in his heart, he was aware that if there was ever to be a future for him and Melony, at some point he’d have to tell her everything. But that was the point. There wouldn’t be a future for them, not in the real world, not if she found out about his past.
“Believe me when I say that you definitely don’t want to hear about it.”
She reached up and tenderly stroked her fingers down his cheek. “If it has to do with you, I want to hear about it, but only when you are ready, Lorent. I don’t want to push you into anything. I never want you to feel uncomfortable with me.”
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Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“Why do you care?” He sighed and leaned into her touch before he could stop himself from doing so.
He looked into her eyes, waiting for her answer, as she pursed her lips as if perplexed by his question. If she had any idea how that one endearing action made him crave to crush his lips against hers, she’d probably slap him. Or maybe not. After all, she had been the one to kiss him at the Learning Center.
“Why do I care? For one, you are a fellow human, er, well, you know what I mean, and secondly, I kind of like you. I will admit that you are a walking contradiction. At one turn you are telling me all about the trees and how you can cook, and the next thing I know, you’re shutting down over the simplest question.”
“You like me?” His heart thundered in his chest.
�
��Of course. I mean, I know we haven’t known one another for long, but I think you are a nice man. Everyone else thinks so as well, but I get the distinct impression that they are worried about you because you are so shy.”
“I’m not shy. Not really. I just like to keep to myself. I’d consider myself reserved, maybe, but not shy.”
“Okaaay. Well, that’s not a bad thing as long as it doesn’t keep you from interacting with others altogether.” She frowned for a moment. “Let me put it this way, and I have no proof of what I’m about to say. It’s pure speculation on my part. No one has told me anything about you other than you are shy and a good man. I’m going to make an assumption here, though, that maybe the others are worried because you haven’t talked to anyone about your past?”
He nodded.
“People who refuse to talk about their past obviously have things in it that they wish to forget, painful things that they’d like to keep buried. The problem with that is that sometimes the things you try so hard to push away are the things that tend to push hardest back, the things that end up eating away at you.”
She was right, and he figured he understood why she knew that. “Like how you won’t talk about your mother’s accident?”
Her eyes darkened, and he wanted to kick himself for bringing it up. “Son of a bitch.
I’m sorry, Melony.”
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Lycan Christmas
S. K. Yule
“No. No. You are right. I’ll tell you sometime about my mother’s accident and why I don’t like to talk about it. I’m just not ready yet. But her death was fairly recent. Are the things you refuse to talk about as recent?”
“Touché.” She had a point.
There was a difference in needing time to heal from things that happened before talking about them and running from them for years. It was time that he opened up about his past, but he was too damned scared he’d frighten her off if she found out about it. How could she still care for him, view him as a good man once she knew about the things he’d allowed to happen right in front of him?
“How about, for now, we enjoy this gorgeous night?” She leaned back and stared up at the clear, dark sky.