by Hughes, Maya
“Looks like someone’s ready to party.” LJ stood beside me, not a bead of sweat on him.
“I’m sure you and Marisa have some pre-class ritual including face paint, stuffed animals, and tricycles you’ll wander off into the woods to complete.” I grabbed a towel from the stack and dried off my hair.
“Not the woods. In the backyard,” he said absently, tugging his jersey off. He hadn’t even been wearing pads.
“Did you talk to Coach?”
LJ slammed his elbow against the open door to his locker and bit out a curse. “He’s going to keep me from getting drafted.”
“Why don’t you play his game? Just enough so you get some time out on the field.” I wrapped a towel around my waist, water dripping down my chest.
“And abandon Marisa?” He looked at me like I’d suggested feeding her in little pieces to a swarming sea of crocodiles.
“Asking if she’d go to her dad’s weekly dinners by herself is hardly abandonment. She can sit in silence with him all by herself; she doesn’t need you there as her white knight. Not at the expense of your career. You’d think she’d care about that.”
LJ’s lips slammed together. “Oh really? What about Alexis?” His glare intensified.
I grabbed my shirt off of my locker. “That’s different and you know it.”
“No, it’s not different—at all. Remember your words the next time she calls or texts with some bullshit she needs rescuing from.”
“Who needs rescuing?” Keyton tucked his towel around his waist.
“No one.” I shoved my head into my shirt, trying to get dressed as quickly as possible.
“Alexis,” LJ said at the same time.
Keyton’s eyebrows dipped. “Is that the redhead? The short one who tried to steal LJ’s wallet?”
“Exactly her.” LJ chucked his towel into the giant overflowing bin at the center of the locker room.
“She thought it was mine.” I pulled my brand-new green with white striped Adidas, courtesy of Reece, out of my locker. Apparently, my five-year-old, no-longer-white, bordering-on-holey shoes were too much for him to take, so I finally let him buy some for me. After Seph, his soon-to-be fiancée, and football, shoes were the third most important things to him.
They were nice shoes, but even now, I looked over my shoulder as I grabbed them out of my locker and slipped them on. Even four years after leaving the group home, having brand-new stuff made me paranoid. Most people didn’t want to steal someone else’s shitty stuff. They’d leave it alone and go for flashier, newer things. I needed to break away from that.
“Oh, I get it. She didn’t know she was trying to steal from me. She thought she was stealing from you, and that makes it okay.”
“It’s not stealing if she knows she can take whatever she wants whenever.”
LJ’s frown deepened like there were weights attached to the corners of his lips, dragging them down to the floor. “Good to know she’s got a thievery free pass. Next time she comes by, I’ll padlock my door.”
Water from my hair soaked my t-shirt as I left the stadium, needing to get out of there. Whenever LJ started up on an Alexis rant, it was easier to bail. At least Reece and Nix were out of the house, so they couldn’t gang up on me about her. They didn’t get it and they didn’t want to. Growing up the way I had, there were some people you counted on and some people you didn’t. And she counted on me. Needed me and trusted me. I wouldn’t ditch her because sometimes she had a full-blown case of the sticky fingers. Not like I hadn’t been there when I was younger. Sometimes the hunger pangs were too strong to ignore and the static in my head would get so loud I could barely think straight, but straight enough to slip an apple or a candy bar into my pockets to tide me over on the weekends until I could get lunch again at school.
Stealing wasn’t always about wanting someone else’s stuff, but I wasn’t going to correct them. And it was a reminder that my reality wasn’t one most people had faced. There were people out there with loving families who’d never known what it was like to chug a liter of water to have something in your belly, just so you could fall sleep.
I sat in my car and drummed my fingers against the steering wheel, staring up at the house. Run in, grab my backpack, dump my practice gear, and then meet Jules. I ordered the taxi on my phone. Three minutes.
The street was quiet, not too many people around. The perfect time for someone to be able to slip in unnoticed and leave something sexy behind in the mailbox. I’d just done two hours of hardcore physical activity, and my heart was pumping like I’d just finished a marathon.
Climbing out of my car, I took the steps three at a time and stood on the porch in front of the mailbox. I let out a breath and lifted the lid. The same heart-under-heel disappointment squeezed my chest. It was still there. My note. The one I’d re-written ten times and it hadn’t made a difference. The crushing waves of disappointment only got higher. It would only be a matter of time before I drowned.
Every day with no word from her made the words in her final letter sting that much deeper. It was like losing a connection to someone out there in the world who knew more about me than most people. I’d let her in and now she was shutting me out.
At least heading to this weekend party thing with Jules meant my mailbox wouldn’t be ten feet away, taunting me every time I walked in the door. A few days away would help me clear my head and break the spell TLG had on me—maybe.
8
Jules
It was almost six. I hadn’t wanted to go inside without Berk, mainly so I didn’t chicken out and cancel on him at the last minute. Plus, at least if he were here then I’d have a friendly face in the crowd. Hanging with my mom’s country club cohorts and Laura’s friends wasn’t exactly my comfort zone. Laura had already taken my carry-on suitcase and they’d stashed it somewhere.
The building’s granite and marble historical structure cast a wide shadow over the city street.
“Sorry, I’m late.” Berk walked around from the side of the building. He had a duffle over one arm and a backpack over the other.
The door to the building swung open again and Laura strolled out. Her step faltered for a second when her gaze landed on Berk. “You’re here.” Her smile was tooth-achingly sweet.
A nightmare scenario ran through my head. One where she spent her entire engagement weekend pretending to be the perfect, beautiful sister, and I caught her and Berk making out in an alcove somewhere.
Or worse, in intense conversation filled with laughter and any excuse to touch one another like the thought of being physically separated hurt. And they’d pull me aside and tell me that she was calling off her engagement because she and Berk just clicked. He’d say neither of them expected this to happen, but sometimes these things come from the most unexpected places. And then she’d throw in that it wasn’t like Berk and I would’ve lasted, and I should be happy that she’d finally found the one—again. I should be happy she wasn’t with Chet anymore—and she’d give me her full blessing to have him back.
Now it felt like my shield might’ve had a secret self-destruct button I hadn’t known about.
“Sorry, practice ran over and I didn’t want to show up here all sweaty.”
A large black bus with tinted windows pulled up to the curb.
Laura made a sound like she’d have licked him if he had shown up all hot and sweaty—hell, she might do it right now. “What do you play?”
“Football.”
“A football player at Fulton? Not exactly your speed, is it, Julia?”
My smile tightened. My speed is none of your damn business. “He’s amazing. Berk’s joining the draft at the end of the season.”
The doors behind her opened and everyone who’d been downing glasses of champagne and cocktails like we were in the end of days flowed out like it was an uncorked bottle.
“Everyone onto the bus. And can someone take Berk’s bag?” Laura called out to no one in particular, but a guy in a uniform showed up beside her
to take Berk’s bags.
The duffle he let go with no issue, but when the uniformed guy tried to take his backpack, he held it tight.
“Not that.” He jerked the bag back.
The uniformed guy looked to Laura.
“I’ve got all my books in here to get in some studying over the weekend before classes start. I’ll do it on the bus.”
Laura pressed one of her freshly manicured hands to her chest. “That’s so academically conscientious. How wonderful to find an athlete who also cares so much about his degree.” Laura took his arm and led him toward the bus.
Berk checked over his shoulder for me.
I followed along, joining the line of partygoers entering the bus. Everyone moved out of Laura’s way like she was on her way to her coronation, because of course they did, and everything would revolve around her this weekend.
Making it to the top of the steps, I expected to see Laura huddled up with Berk under the guise of making him feel more at home before the weekend began. Instead, she was sitting with Chet, who popped open another bottle of champagne, bubbles overflowing all over the floor.
I slipped into the empty seat beside Berk, just as the bus pulled away from the curb and knocked me into him, nearly throwing me into his lap.
Berk braced his hands on my shoulders, so I didn’t crush him.
“Sorry,” I mumbled and sat, buckling myself in. After a couple minutes of silence—well, not silence from the rest of the bus, they were all standing in the aisles and ignoring even more appetizers that were being passed around in favor of the booze served up in plastic flutes—he leaned over to me.
“Your sister is—”
“Beautiful. Stunning. So amazing. And yes, we really are related.”
His eyebrows dipped and he shook his head. “I was going to say kind of pushy.”
Relief crashed over me like a wave.
“I know she’s your sister and I probably shouldn’t say anything, but—” He leaned in closer and I tried not to think about how close he was and how good he smelled after his post-practice shower. He whispered, “I had to tell her maybe it would be a good idea to go sit with her own fiancé. She doesn’t seem to like him very much.”
“I think the whole stealing him away from me thing probably got her in over her head.” My back snapped straight and I cringed. That hadn’t come out nearly as jokingly as I meant it. The last thing I wanted was Berk thinking I still had a thing for Chet, who was cheering on his friend chugging a bottle of champagne.
“You dated that guy.” Berk nodded toward the crisp and impeccably put-together Chet.
“Hard to believe, I know.”
“Inconceivable.” Berk’s Princess Bride impersonation should’ve rolled off my back, but it hurt. Like another hit to an already stubbed toe.
He sank back in his seat probably wondering why the hell that guy had even given me a second look. Don’t worry, it wasn’t for long, Berk.
“He seems about as interesting as cardboard. And he’s checked out the asses of at least five other women since we got on the bus.”
I peered around the side of the seat. Chet’s eyes were trained right on the butt of one of Laura’s bridesmaids. Maybe I’d dodged a bullet after all. Part of the appeal of Chet had been that I’d held the interest of someone who’d normally never have given me a second look. Those feelings of finally being seen, cared about, desired. I’d mattered until I hadn’t, and that made it even harder, made it hurt even more getting a taste and having it turn into sawdust in my mouth. Worse, because he’d betrayed me with my sister, he’d never gone away so I could forget about him.
There was no clean break—never would be.
Berk tried to squeeze his backpack under the seat in front of us, but it wasn’t exactly a clutch purse.
“What do you have in there?” I reached for it, trying to help him push it down between us.
Snatching it back, he set it on his lap. “It’s nothing. Just some of my dirty clothes I didn’t dump at my place before I left.”
Touchy, touchy about dirty underwear. Noted. Also, kind of gross.
“And now that the bus is moving and you have no escape, I thought I’d let you know that some people on this trip…” I craned my neck looking out over the seats around us. “Might be under the impression that we’re together, like together together.”
He shrugged. “Boyfriend from the wrong side of the tracks to piss off the parents. Got it.”
I waved my hand dismissively. “Nothing like that. Just be yourself. I didn’t want to blindside you in case anyone asked.”
“Which is why you waited for wheels up on this trip before you spilled the beans?”
My cheeks burned.
“It was a joke. Don’t worry about it. I can keep it together.”
Berk struggled to keep his eyes open, widening them and running his hands over his face.
“We’ve got an hour ride. Don’t feel like you need to keep me company.”
“It’s cool. I’m good.” His eyelids drooped.
“Berk, sleep.”
His sleepy smile made my heart flutter. “Just for a little bit? I had a late night.” He rested his head against the seat back and closed his eyes. The steady rhythm of his breathing started in less than a minute. He wasn’t kidding.
My head snapped up off Berk’s shoulder as I jolted awake. Wiping the side of my mouth, my eyes widened and the dancing flames of embarrassment threatened to consume me. I spotted the dark splotch on his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut like that would magically make my drool disappear. Staring straight ahead at the geometric pattern on the seat back in front of me, I debated between jumping from the moving bus and checking for an ejector seat.
“You’re up, sleepyhead.”
A wheezy giggle burst free from my lips.
Berk craned his neck and looked down at the spot on his shirt. “Looks like you got real comfortable.”
Was I too old to run away and join the circus?
“Jules, chill out.” He rested his hand on my shoulder and pushed me back against the seat. “I’m on buses almost half the season. You don’t think I’ve ever drooled on someone before? It happens.” He glanced out the window. “Where are we?”
“Almost at my grandparents’ house.”
“They’re having the party at your grandparents’ house? I never knew mine, but I didn’t realize that was a thing. Is it a tradition or something?” We rolled down the unpaved drive, kept that way to preserve the out-of-time feeling of the scaled-down regency manor house replica.
“It’s not their house anymore. They hold events there. Weddings, corporate retreats. A place out in the middle of nowhere where no one can hear you scream.”
His eyes bulged.
I laughed, resting my hand on his arm. I wished I’d told him all this in my letters, that I’d been so open that he could put the pieces together and figure out it was me.
Instead, I’d been guarded, even when trying to express a part of me I’d been afraid to embrace in real life. I missed reading his words and hearing a side of him I didn’t think many people got to see. Although, I saw more of it the longer we spent together.
“I’m joking. It’s so far away from the main road and other cell towers, they don’t get service out here. So, people use it to get away from it all.”
He peered around like he expected someone to jump up behind him and throw a burlap bag over his head. “That’s what all the rich people planning to play the most dangerous game say.”
I laughed even louder. “If I had to put money down on anyone surviving a game of human hunting like that, it would be you by a long shot.”
He sat up straighter and looked over the seats in front of us. There was a mix of people still drinking after the hour-long drive and those who’d probably wake up on the bus tomorrow morning.
The carriage rocked as we came to a stop in the circular drive. The event planner stood up at the front of the bus.
“Welcome
to Kelland Estates. We’re here to celebrate this amazingly special day for Laura Kelland and Chet. Your bags will be sent to your rooms. There will be photographers covering every aspect of the event—some you might not even see. Be forewarned, the cell reception and wifi is almost as bad as dial up.”
“What’s dial up?” someone called out from the back.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
Laura stood up to quell the little ripples of discontent at the unplugged weekend. It seemed she didn’t trust her engagement party would’ve been enough of a draw to keep people from being constantly connected to the rest of the world. “Let’s go, everyone. We’ll have a technology-free weekend, everyone will wonder where the hell we’ve gone, and when we come back, they’ll freak. Just wait until you see your costumes.”
The word came out in a slow motion deep baritone.
Costumes.
We were supposed to get dressed up in costumes? Great Gatsby inspired costumes? Flashes of short silver flapper dresses flashed through my mind. Sleeveless dresses that showed my arms.
No. No. Absolutely freaking not.
Jumping up from my seat, I shoved people aside, panic rising, and chased after Laura. She disappeared into the front door being held open by one of the event staff. I thanked them and scrambled after her.
Grabbing her shoulder, I turned her around. “You didn’t say anything about costumes.”
She tilted her head to the side like she was wracking her brain to figure out how she might’ve forgotten such an important detail. “Hmm, did I not? I swore I did. It was printed on the invitation.” A face of mock surprise. “Oh yeah, the one you never picked up from the house.” She shook her head disapprovingly. “It doesn’t matter. Here’s your costume.” She held out her hand and one of the event staff handed her a hanger. She shoved the hanger with a black linen cover at me.
“But I didn’t tell you my size.”
“Mom picked it out.” And then she was gone, enveloped by her party planners and party goers.