by Hughes, Maya
“I totally forgot.”
He frowned. “You don’t plan on coming?”
“No tickets.” I shrugged. “It’s probably sold out.”
“There might be a way I could get you one.” He looked over his shoulder.
The stampede in my chest was on the horizon. His strong jaw and lips that had whispered so close to mine were there again.
“If you can score me some of those donuts with extra sprinkles.” He pointed to the baker’s rack stacked high with deliciousness.
My smile was un-hold-back-able. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“You two are making my teeth hurt,” Max chimed in from her perch on the counter.
“Where the hell did you get popcorn from?”
She threw a handful into her mouth. “I have my ways.” She waved her hands like a magician in front of us and wandered off to pester Avery.
“Let me check with them about the donuts and I’ll be right back.” I backed away, headed for the two bickering friends under the skin-blistering lights.
“Take your time.” He shoved his hands into his pants and a peek of that muscular v winked at me from under his shirt. This level of sweetness and hotness, even in a bakery, was too much.
“Who’s the hottie?” Max rested her elbows on the counter and shoveled more popcorn into her mouth. Where the hell did that even come from? I glanced around the room. Not a kernel in sight.
“He’s my friend.”
“Not from the way he’s checking out your ass, he isn’t.” She lifted an eyebrow with a wide smile.
That’s not possible. My brain’s auto-responder to deny any interest any guy might have in me kicked in. It had saved my butt more than once. That hot guy waving to me at the bar? Yeah, no, that wave was for the delicate brunette in six inch heels behind me. That cocky smile from the guy in the car passing by? He’s looking at his reflection in the store window behind me.
“It’s true.” But maybe…
I looked over my shoulder at her little, knowing mhmm.
Were my signals getting crossed?
Was he here to talk to me about professing his love for my sister before the wedding—no, but it was damn hard to get my hopes up.
Right about now I wished I could write him a letter. Do you like me? With a checkbox for yes or no. And what the hell happened when he found out I was TLG? How would he feel knowing I’d ditched him and run away and hidden, just like I wanted to do now? He’d probably hate me and never want to speak to me again.
Writing him those letters had set a part of me free that I’d never been able to give voice to before. With a big bottle of wine and some intense blushing, I’d written out everything I wanted to do to him and everything I wanted him to do to me. It was freeing to be that open about a part of myself I kept wrapped up tight and buried under three layers of clothes.
After the first few letters, I hadn’t needed the wine to write the words. His letters—the fact that he’d actually replied—had been all the fuel I’d needed.
And I missed sharing bits of myself outside of the bedroom daydreaming. Telling him about the music I loved dancing to, or a new place I’d explored in the city.
But then the whole thing with Alexis and the cake happened and I knew I had to end it, because daydreaming was all it was, all it could be. It was getting my hopes up that someone was into me and that was never the way it turned out. And, yes, he showed up at my house at all hours, but that didn’t mean anything more than that he liked chowing down on whatever I pulled out of the oven and keeping me company now that Elle had moved out. We were friends. It was sweet that he didn’t want me bumping around the house all by myself.
And no matter how much batter I’d spilled watching him grab something out of the cabinets with his biceps bunching, or stretching and showing off a happy trail I’d be more than happy to follow, I had to keep all that on lockdown and pent up inside.
He hadn’t stopped whatever casual on-and-off again thing he had going on with Alexis, so how was real-life me going to compete with the on-paper vixen persona I’d crafted?
He had groupies—ones who would run me over with their car to have a piece of him. Women flinging themselves at him all the time. Beautiful, skinny women, and that was just the ones in the area. He’d go pro and there’d be women all over the country vying for his attention. Almost-kiss or not, it was no competition. Hands down, I’d lose. So, no matter what, I wasn’t going to write another letter and poke that slowly-healing bruise.
“Avery, we’re ready to start filming when you are,” one of the crew guys called out.
“Are we ready?” Avery leaned over the counter, giving me a reassuring smile.
“Screw you guys, I’m out of here.” Max jumped up like someone had zapped her with a cattle prod, and rushed off to the sidelines.
“One second. Berk wanted to know if he could have some donuts. I’ll pay for them.”
Avery laughed. “Give him as many as he wants. Eye candy gets paid in treats around here.”
The back door opened. “Jesus Christ, is this the new security system? ‘Cause it’s working.” A big guy filled the doorway, shielding his eyes, squinting at the floodlit brightness. I’d seen his face before, on billboards around the city. He made a beeline straight for Avery.
I jumped out of the way and grabbed a box for Berk’s donuts.
“That’s her husband?” Berk stared at the two of them, slack jawed.
“From the way he kissed her and is talking to her baby bump, I’m going with yes. You know him? He looks familiar.”
“Hell, yeah. That’s Emmett Cunning. The hockey player. He’s the reason the team won the cup last season.”
The lightbulbs fired, zipping my mind back to the pictures in Avery’s office.
I stuck a bunch of donuts in the box and handed it over to Berk, who slipped one out and took a bite before I’d even released the box.
“Jules, we’re ready.”
“Wish me luck.” My smile was as weak as ten-second tea.
“Don’t worry.” Berk reached out and captured my hand. “They’re going to love you.” He ran his thumb along the back of my hand.
My cheeks reddened and I nodded, ducking my head. But I wasn’t able to completely avoid eye contact as Max crouched down against the wall catching my gaze. Hers darted from me to where Berk held my hand.
I laughed and shook my head and trudged back to my inevitable death by embarrassment in front of a camera crew and my new boss.
We ran through everything we’d need for the recipe, with Avery showing me where everything was. Everyone else hustled around keeping the shop running, which had more than a few new customers now that news of the video crew had spread.
Berk looked happy as hell leaning against the wall and talking to Emmett. And I wanted him here. I hadn’t even known I needed him here, but I did. Having him look at me with his smiles and mouthed words of encouragement kept me distracted enough that they were nearly finished filming before I’d had time to crank my freak out up to eleven.
A little flushed and with trembling hands, I helped Avery through the video as Max shouted out comments that were rolling in online.
“This is live.” I nearly dropped the entire bowl of melted chocolate.
“Who’s that beside Avery? She’s adorable,” Max threw out.
And now my face was probably glowing red like a stoplight in a snowstorm.
“They’re right.” That comment came from much closer.
“Now the comments are asking who the deep-voiced hottie is.”
Berk waved off his chance to appear on screen.
My ears were on fire. My arms were out. A bead of sweat rolled down my back, but the world was still spinning. I was conquering my fears, and so far, so good. I looked up from the dough Avery was rolling out and caught Berk’s eye.
His thumbs up melted my heart. What other fear might I be strong enough to face head on? One that looked and smelled and tasted like Berkley Va
ughn?
17
Berk
Jules looked up at me while they finished up their video. Everyone on the sidelines had their phones out following along with the live feed.
Everyone loved her, and why shouldn’t they? She was awesome. Under the lights, her skin was glowing and she had that extra pinkness in her cheeks she always got when she was embarrassed. It only made me want to tease her even more to see how much deeper that shade could go.
“People are losing their shit over there.” Emmett “Badass on the Ice” Cunning stood beside me like it was no big deal. I wasn’t huge into hockey, but when your local team wins a national championship, you take notice—especially when their city-wide parade passed right by campus.
“Women baking something mouth-watering has a certain appeal to it.”
“Tell me about it.” He had a dreamy look in his eye as he watched his wife put whatever it was they were making into the oven.
“What’s it like once you go pro? You know, having a girl and a family and stuff?”
Emmett peeled his eyes away from Avery and blinked at me like he was coming out of a trance only she could put him in. “It’s got its ups and downs, but if you’re solid, there’s nothing to worry about. Are you and Jules solid?”
I shoved my hands into my pockets. “We’re not together.”
“But you’d like to be.” His knowing look told me I wasn’t exactly stealthy about my feelings, which made it even harder that Jules ran every chance she got.
I nodded. All the things I’d tried to lock down when it came to Jules rushed forward. Standing on the sidelines watching her and being able to go over and lay a kiss on her in front of everyone. Seeing her looking up at me with a smile that was just for me. Feeling her nestled up against me with my arm around her waist so everyone would know that she was my woman and I was her man.
“It’s harder for them than it is for us.” He lifted his chin toward them as the overhead lights shut off.
“How?”
“They’re the ones left behind while we’re traveling all over the place. And they’re always going to be the wives of professional athletes. That comes with a lot of catty bullshit we’d never even think of. The guy fans will shout at you on the street about a shitty play or come up and drunkenly hug you. The female fans get the claws out when it comes to them. Lie about you to try and break you up as though you’d hop into bed with them if you were single. You’ve got to protect them from that as much as you can, but they’ve also got to be able to ignore what they can and withstand the rest. It’s not easy.” He walked off with open arms and pulled Avery into a big bear hug.
That gave me pause. I’d cut my arm off before I’d do anything to hurt Jules. She was one of the most genuinely sweet, kindest people I’d ever met. And I didn’t want anyone saying or doing anything to hurt her.
“How’d I do?” She was glowing with a nervous, boundless energy and bouncing on her toes.
“The views that rolled in were insane. You two were an awesome team.”
“But don’t get any crazy ideas. She’s my best friend.” Max leaned over, butting into the conversation.
She was a little off the wall, but I could tell her heart was in a good place.
“I wouldn’t think of it for a second. I’d never come between besties.”
Max made a grumbling sound like a grizzled sailor before pulling Jules into a hug. “You did good. Killer stuff, and I’m so glad I won’t have to do it now. If you’d totally blown it, I was on deck.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You’re welcome.” Max stomped off and accosted Avery and Emmett.
“I actually did it.” Jules beamed with pride and radiated happiness.
The camera crew left a bunch of stuff up, and Jules and Avery worked out their schedule for the rest of the month. She was still on cloud nine as we drove back to our street.
Once parked in front of her house, I turned off the engine.
“Thanks for the ride. I’m pretty sure I would’ve fallen asleep on the bus after my adrenaline high wore off, and I’d have crisscrossed the city until morning.”
“Any time.”
“Did you start on the work Buchanan assigned? You’d think he could at least hold off on his curmudgeon attitude until classes actually start.” She was talking a mile a minute and only chancing split-second long looks in my direction.
“Jules.” I dropped my hand onto her leg.
She stopped mid-word, her muscles tightened under my hand. “Yes.” She looked a second from ditching out of the car and rolling up onto her lawn like a stuntman making a quick getaway.
“I know what you said before, but—”
A sharp knock broke the building tension in the car. “Berk!”
I dropped my head against my head rest, letting out a growl of frustration. Was I going to have to paddle a boat out into the center of the Schuylkill River to get a second alone with her? Universe—this joke isn’t anywhere near funny.
“You’re needed. I’ve got to get through all that work. Let me know if you need any help or anything.”
And then she was gone.
The car door closed and the door to her house wasn’t far behind it.
“Berk!” Another knock on my window.
I threw open my door. “What?! What could possibly be so important that you couldn’t wait for me to get out of my damn car?”
The guy wearing a Fulton U jersey with my number eleven on it backed up a step. “Sorry. I didn’t want you to miss practice or be late to class. You’ve got a flat tire.” He pointed at my back driver’s side tire, slowly leaking air with a nice piece of metal sticking out of it. Shit.
“Thanks, man. Sorry for snapping at you.”
“No problem. Tension’s high with your game coming up. Do you want me to help?” He looked ready to sprint off and grab his toolbox.
“Sure, that would be great.”
I only hoped the donut spare in my trunk would hold up for the next few months and wasn’t flat already.
* * *
My phone woke me at one in the morning.
I’d only been asleep for two hours, after reading over the email from Buchanan that came with a metric ton of homework we needed to have ready for the first day of class.
He couldn’t have sent that out earlier? Maybe given everyone a bit more time to complete it all? But I didn’t want to show up to the first day of class empty-handed.
I hadn’t expected a distress call from Alexis as soon as it felt like my eyes were closed. She was stranded down at the shore, so I’d picked her up and made the two hour drive back to campus just in time for practice.
The same song and dance we always did.
“You need to be more responsible.”
“I’m having fun.”
“You can’t keep doing this.”
“You didn’t have to come. I could’ve figured it out on my own.”
“Then why did you call me?”
“Fine, next time I won’t.”
Which then led to me telling her that of course she could always count on me and not to try to get out of a situation she couldn’t handle on her own. I’d always be there for her.
I walked like a zombie to my cabinet and didn’t even try to hide it.
LJ looked up from his notebooks and textbooks at the kitchen table. “You look like shit.”
Rooting around back there, I grabbed one of my Twizzlers and shoved it into my mouth, trying to keep my eyes open.
“Are you finished with classes for the day?”
“One more.” I lifted the coffee pot with the barest hint of coffee left and poured it into my mouth, grimacing at the cold, bitter taste and the grittiness.
“Are you going to make it?” He cracked his back.
“Have to. I’ve got Buchanan.” I inhaled the strawberry licorice.
LJ grimaced and closed his books. “Good luck with that. Why’d you take that class? There are mu
ch easier ways to get your diploma.”
“Who needs a diploma when we’re going pro?” I willed my eyes open and pushed off the kitchen counter.
“You, maybe. With Coach killing me in practices you’d at least think I’d get more game time.”
“It’s better than it was before with none.”
“He keeps going on and on about this being for my own good. All I see is him pissed that Marisa’s staying here.”
“You didn’t see that coming?”
He shrugged. “She could’ve died, man. Showing up to her building on fucking fire, I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared in my life. The stuff with my dad when he got sick, that was slow. Long days in the hospital. You could brace for it. But with her, she could’ve been gone in a blink.”
Just like my mom, but she was still out there somewhere.
“Now we’re trying to keep her from killing us all with food poisoning.”
“Whenever she used to come over to my house, she walked into the kitchen like there was a ticking time bomb in there. Her house was always take-out. She can speed dial for Chinese, pizza, and cheese steaks with the best of them.”
“Maybe you should show her how.”
“Then I wouldn’t get to cook for her anymore.” He ducked his head and let out a huff. “I’ve got to go. I’m going to drag myself to Marisa’s presentation thing.”
“Such a good friend.”
His glare made the dig worth it.
“I’m going to grab a quick nap on the couch.”
“Make sure you set an alarm so you don’t oversleep.”
I nodded, too tired for words and walked out of the kitchen, dragging my bag along the floor. Thank god Keyton had brought this new couch. It was so much more comfortable than our old torture device masquerading as a couch. I lay down and the mid-afternoon light washed over my face.
Taking out my phone, I set the timer for forty-five minutes. That would give me enough time to get my ass up and back across campus before class started. Plenty of time.