He’d checked into the hotel the night of his fight with Marianna. Being in the house with her and that asshole Julian had frayed his nerves. Any time it was silent he wondered if they were together behind a closed door, doing God only knew what.
She loved him.
Ugh. If the jealousy wasn’t enough to set his stomach off, then his disgust at how much it hurt certainly was. He lurched out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, but the nausea subsided. When Nico caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, he felt a wave of repulsion. For a moment he hadn’t recognized himself. Dark hollows under his eyes leached the life out of his face, and the beginnings of a black beard gave his face a brutality that he hadn’t seen in a long time.
Everything swirled in his head. Marianna. Alethea. Kosta.
He still remembered the day Alethea had confessed she’d terminated her pregnancy. It was like being shot. Because in his stupid, naive, uneducated brain, the life inside her would surpass all the other bullshit. It would surpass the fact that Kosta had kicked him out, taking Nico’s hope of one day belonging to a real family and shredding it to pieces. It surpassed Nico’s fear that he would amount to nothing, because being a father was the most precious role he could possibly play in life. It even surpassed the history that had told Nico to avoid connection—because there was no way he could ever not have a connection with someone of his blood.
But to her, it had meant being tied down, losing opportunities, giving up her dreams. Failing her family. Failing herself.
Nico wrenched the tap on and splashed his face with cold water. He would have to return home and face the consequences of his actions. Would Marianna still be there? She’d called the first two days, but he hadn’t answered. After that, silence. What if she’d decided to go back to Australia?
A loud thump on the hotel door startled him. That definitely wasn’t a room service kind of knock. Fuck. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his naked waist as he walked. Through the peephole he could see the distorted impression of a very pissed-off face.
“What do you want?” he said as he yanked the door open to find Dion standing there, dressed in a suit and looking like he was about to murder someone.
“Oh nothing. Just checking in to see why my business partner has fallen off the face of the earth.” He stormed into the room without waiting for an invitation. Dion went straight to the window and pulled the blinds open. “It smells like a fucking nightclub in here. What have you been drinking?”
Everything.
Nico sighed. “So I took a few days off, big fucking deal. You’re always telling me to take a vacation.”
“There’s a big difference between having some downtime and having a bender in a darkened hotel room.”
“You know where you can shove your judgment?” Nico said, reaching down into the minibar and grabbing a bottle of water.
“Don’t start. I had to bully Helena into telling me where you’d gone. I’ve probably worried the shit out of Marianna because I called the house before I came over. She assumed you were with me.”
So she was still in the country.
Nico snorted. “I doubt it.”
“Look, whatever is going on with her, you need to sort it out. Apart from the fact that you blew off a board meeting and I had to cover for you, you’ve left your wife alone without giving her any idea where you’ve gone. It’s completely irresponsible.”
The words washed a veil of red over his vision. “You were the one who said I shouldn’t have married her!”
“I said you didn’t have to marry her. But you did. And you stayed married to her…so that means you at least owe her your whereabouts.”
“I don’t owe her anything.”
But saying it out loud didn’t make it true. Nico knew he’d made a mess of things, but he wasn’t equipped to deal with this situation. Growing up, any time he’d raised a problem with the sisters he was told to be grateful he had somewhere to live, a roof over his head. That he wasn’t out on the streets.
Be grateful we found you in that box. If the night had been colder/longer/darker, you could have died. Alone.
So he’d learned to bottle his feelings up, burying them over and over and over until he no longer knew where he’d hidden them or how to locate them. All he’d wanted was for someone to love him. And as much as he resisted getting too close to Marianna, that decades-old hope had sprung up in his chest. What if she could learn to love him?
Which was exactly why the blow about her loving Julian had hurt so damn much.
“You want to know what happened?” He blurted the entire story out to Dion, who raised a brow. “So now I’m here and we’re waiting for a DNA test, which she should have taken a few hours ago.”
“And what? You’re going to live here until the results come in?”
He honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Why not?”
“Because that’s not how adults deal with their problems.” Dion raked a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated breath. “Look, I get it. The Alethea and Kosta thing messed you up pretty good. And I know that the last year since he died you’ve been on edge, whether or not you want to admit it. But continuing to shut people out isn’t going to fix this situation.”
“Didn’t you suggest a DNA test at the beginning? And now you’re jumping down my throat for following your advice?”
“That’s not why I’m telling you to adult-the-fuck-up, Nico, and you know it. The DNA test is fine, it’ll give you closure on that issue and you won’t ever be able to think ‘what if’ about the baby, because you’ll know either way,” he said. “My question is, what are you going to do when you get the answer? Because hiding out here like some kind of demented hibernating bear isn’t a long-term option. There’s only two outcomes to the test.”
“If it’s not my kid, then she’ll be out on her ass.”
“And if it is?”
That was the more challenging one. Because it would confirm that he and Marianna would be connected for the rest of their lives. They would share something precious and wonderful, but it didn’t change that things were fundamentally broken between them. They weren’t together for love, she’d made that clear. She loved another man. He couldn’t stand the thought of her being in the house with him, pretending that they were one big happy family, when it was nothing but bullshit.
It was clear that when Nico got close to someone, he invented deeper feelings. He’d imagined it with Alethea, and he’d imagined it with Marianna. Was he that desperate to have a family that he would fabricate whatever his heart wanted?
Pathetic.
“What did you expect would happen?” Dion asked. “You married her knowing it was out of obligation to the kid. So I don’t see what the big deal is if she’s got feelings for someone else. And the thing about her loving that other guy…” He shrugged. “I get why you’re upset, but it’s not like you’re in a romantic relationship with her. You didn’t marry for love.”
Nico swallowed down the sick feeling in the back of his throat. But he had been romantically involved with her. That night after her appointment was real. They’d bonded. Connected on a deeper level. Or at least, that’s what he’d thought. But Marianna was obviously a better liar than he’d given her credit for. She acted so innocent and sweet, but now he didn’t know what to believe.
Was that time in the pool really her first time? Or had she been looking to hook some dumb, rich guy by acting coy?
“No, you’re right. We’re not in a romantic relationship,” Nico lied. “But I at least thought she’d wait a while before bringing another man into our house.”
“You don’t know anything has happened between them,” Dion reasoned.
He gestured around the room. “I’ve been here the last few days. For all I know, they were fucking all over my house.”
Dion sighed. “For what it’s worth, she sounded genuinely worried when I called.”
“She’s a great actress.” But even as the anger
and resentment burned brightly, guilt stabbed him in the gut. The thought of her being home, worrying about him, made him feel like an asshole. That vision was quickly overtaken, however. “Is he still there?”
“Her friend?” Dion shrugged. “I don’t know.”
No doubt he would have tried to comfort her. It was obvious from the second he’d come face-to-face with Julian that the man was in love with her.
Maybe it would be better for you both if she left. They can live happily ever fucking after in Australia.
But what about their child? If it even was his…
“Ugh.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I can’t stand this. I’m going around in circles and I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
Except he did know what he wanted—the whole package. A sexy, loving wife, a gorgeous, healthy baby. Family portraits and movie nights and vacations and more babies to come. But wanting those things was terrifying, because it opened him up. Made him vulnerable. And that was something he categorically could not do to himself again.
“Don’t worry about what you want,” Dion replied. “As I said before, there are two outcomes. If it’s not your kid, then it’s not your problem. If it is, you need to figure out how to proceed.”
“If it’s mine, I’m not going to let her keep the child from me,” he said. “I won’t leave my kid to grow up without a father.”
“Has she made any threats?”
He paused. “No.”
From day one, Marianna had wanted a solution where the baby had access to both parents. It was everything else that posed a minefield of emotional turmoil. Were they supposed to act like husband and wife in public? In private? If they stopped sleeping in the same bed, did that preclude them from taking lovers? At the beginning, he wouldn’t have thought it so bad. But now…
He didn’t want anyone else, and that was a huge problem. Because wanting her put him on the back foot, giving her the upper hand. He couldn’t have it. Alethea had always been in that position—she had the family, the money, the power to choose what happened to their child. And all of it left him broken and alone.
He couldn’t go through that again.
“I’ll come home,” he said. “But things are going to change.”
…
Marianna spent the next few days on pins and needles. When Nico finally returned, she’d breathed a sigh of relief knowing he was safe. But it became clear that no conversation would be entered into until the results of the test arrived. He’d strode past her, taking only a second to make eye contact before he’d locked himself away in his office, leaving her to stew in her worries. Alone. Two days later, Jules was set to return home to Australia.
“I’m going to miss you,” Marianna said as she sat on the guest bed, watching him pack.
Jules looked up, his light eyes narrowed in concern. “You know you can call me any time. Doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night.”
“Thank you.” She pushed up off the bed and wrapped her arms around him. “I need a friend at the moment.”
“I’m going to regret not telling you how I felt for the rest of my life.” He pressed a cheek to her forehead. “I wish it was my baby. Then everything would be so much easier.”
Marianna held her breath, squeezing her eyes shut as Jules cradled her in his arms. Breaking down now wouldn’t solve anything. She had to be strong.
They had deep feelings because of their shared history, because they’d been through tough times together, because they knew one another. It was rooted in friendship. But it lacked the spark and burn of how Nico made her feel. When Jules looked at her it was like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. When Nico looked at her it was like being shocked with 110 volts.
And for a woman who’d never had much excitement in her life, she wanted the spark and the burn, rather than a lukewarm simmer. Against every bit of logic, she wanted Nico. Because as much as she loved Jules, if she was being truthful to herself, she wanted a different kind of love. She wanted that all-consuming passion from the night Nico had taken her into his bed, she wanted the excitement she felt exploring the ocean with him, she wanted the man who’d held her hand, silent and strong, as she’d taken a leap.
She wanted Nico. For real. Forever.
And what happens next time he throws a fit because he doesn’t like something?
She knew he had a lot of past hurts to work through. That his reaction wasn’t solely due to her…but that didn’t change the fact that she was the one who had to sit and worry about him. How would she do that with a baby in her arms?
“Please come back with me,” Jules whispered into her hair.
“I can’t. This is where I belong.” She swallowed. “It’s…where I want to be.”
Admitting that aloud was terrifying because it made no sense. Her husband had shut her out. He’d abandoned her for days on end without communication. But she knew he was hurting because he felt something for her. After all, if he didn’t care then why would he have reacted in such a way?
There was something worth fighting for.
And dammit, she was sick of living a sheltered life. Since she was a little girl, she’d been caged in Bubble Wrap. Her brothers had meant well, but they’d denied her important life experiences. And she’d allowed it to happen.
No more. She was going to take charge of her life. She would face Nico and tell him how she felt, that she wasn’t happy to be some ghost who haunted his house. She wasn’t happy to be someone he avoided. He would notice her, and they would live together as partners. Anything less and she would be setting a bad example for her child.
And it meant taking the job teaching English and making a life for herself in Corfu. Whatever happened, she would not run back to Australia and expect her family to clean up her mess.
“Doing the right thing for the baby should mean putting myself first,” she admitted. “I don’t want to be the one to show them what it means to settle. I’m going to tell him I want to have a go at a real marriage.”
“What if he doesn’t agree?” Jules asked. “Will you come home then?”
She shook her head. “No. I won’t.”
…
The time to face Nico came only a day later. Each afternoon, when the mail had been delivered, Marianna had rushed outside to rifle through the envelopes. Today was the day.
She’d woken to find the porcelain cat back in its place beside her bed. Nico had slept on the couch in his office every night since he’d come home, but somehow the cat had been returned to its rightful place. Yet again.
Could she take that as a sign of hope?
She sat in Nico’s office, the cat on his desk in front of her—for moral support, of course—and turned the white business-sized envelope over in her hands. The green logo of the pathology clinic was printed in one corner, and the neatly typed address had both her and Nico’s names above it.
But she wasn’t going to open it. And she would ask him to do the same.
This was the test he needed to pass. If they were going to have any chance at all to survive the challenges of raising a baby together, then he needed to make the decision to trust her. After all, she’d done everything he asked—she’d signed the prenup and taken the test. Actions would always speak louder than words. She’d proven herself trustworthy. If that wasn’t enough…then maybe she was wrong, and there wasn’t anything worth fighting for.
“You know what the results are,” she said to herself. “You know that you’ve been telling the truth. That should be what matters.”
“What should be what matters?” Nico’s deep voice startled her, and she jumped out of the chair, clutching the letter to her stomach.
He stood at the threshold, his dark hair rumpled as though he hadn’t bothered to style it after rolling out of bed—aka the couch—that morning. His suit jacket was slung over one arm, and a baby blue shirt sat open at the collar. Light gray trousers and a slim back belt highlighted his trim waist. Even disheveled and wearing a frown,
he still had no trouble making Marianna’s heart beat faster. Nerves and excitement created flurries in her belly, and she pressed a hand there to quash the sensation. It was getting rounder now, and sticking out more obviously. Nico’s eyes tracked the movement, but he quickly looked away.
“Our results came,” she said.
He held out his hand. “I guess we’re about to find out what our future holds.”
This was it. The threshold. For her whole life, she’d let her brothers control what happened. Where they lived, what she did for fun, who she was allowed to hang out with. And while she never doubted their love for her, their actions had only created uncertainty and a lack of confidence in her. A perpetual questioning of what she knew. Marianna needed to take life by the horns now, or she’d forever be a woman who let men dictate how her life should run.
“I know what our future holds,” she said. “And I don’t need a letter to tell me.”
“I do,” he said. His eyes lowered to where the porcelain cat sat on the desk, and his lips tightened. “Why do you keep moving that damn thing?”
“To show you that change is safe.” She ran her nail over the corner of the envelope, feeling the crisp point catch on her skin. “Your life will get messy with a child. It’ll get complicated and exhausting and wonderful. It’ll be so different to how it is now.”
“All that, from moving some stupid ornament?”
“It’s not stupid, I know that for a fact. It’s something you care about, some part of the past you’re clutching to like it’s the only thing keeping you on earth.”
He glowered. “You don’t know me, Marianna.”
“No. But I want to.” She swallowed against the lump in the back of her throat. “I want to know everything about you. Not just for the sake of us giving our child a happy family, but simply for me.”
“And I want to know you. Which is why I need to read that letter.”
Her heart sank. “You still don’t believe me, even though I signed your prenup? I’ve done everything you asked of me, including this damn test.”
Beauty and the Greek Billionaire Page 17